The Classic/Retro Pop Culture Thread

[The Old Mixer]

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50th Anniversary Viewing (Part 1)

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All in the Family
"Gloria Is Nervous"
Originally aired December 8, 1975

While Gloria is climbing the walls because her baby's overdue, Mike hyperventilates at her baby shower.

Final appearance of Betty Garrett as Irene Lorenzo. Carroll O'Connor does not appear in this episode.

Now nine days overdue, Gloria's edgy with Mike because of her condition, which includes frequently having to go upstairs to the bathroom.

Mike: I didn't eat your Oreo Cookies. Gloria, you know I'm a Ding Dong man.​

Mike tries to be sympathetic and encouraging, but every gesture gets twisted in a negative fashion. While Archie's on a fishing trip, Edith comes over to be supportive but makes things worse when she emphasizes how Gloria's life will never be the same once she has a child depending on her. Mike and Edith persuade Gloria to continue with her childbirth exercises, lying her on the floor with pillows while Mike explains the purposes of the exercises to Edith.

Edith: I'm glad I had Gloria when I did, 'cause I don't think I'd know enough to have a baby today.​

He mentions how they're prepared for Gloria hyperventilating, explains the condition, and shows Edith the paper bag and other essential items collected in their hospital-ready "goodie bag"...which includes a lot of snacks for Mike. As the exercises commence, Gloria becomes defiant and won't cooperate with Mike, so Edith steps in and puts both in their place. Then Mike gets upset when he's reminded that the baby shower is the next night, when he was planning to go to a basketball game. (If she's over a week overdue, wouldn't they have already had the shower?)

That night, Gloria repeatedly wakes up Mike for snoring--in the first instance, he thinks it's time. Mike proves that she's messing with him by pretending to fall back asleep sans snoring. Gloria finds her missing Oreos packed in the goodie bag and their argument intensifies, causing her to move to the next room.

Cut to the shower, attended by Edith, Irene (uncredited in her swan song), Sylvia (Robin Wilson), Dotty (Garn Stephens), Debbie (Suzanne Astor), and Vikki (Madeleine Fisher)...but not Mike. Gloria disses him in Edith Ann mode. Mike rushes in having trouble breathing, having gone into a panic when a Dr. Shapiro was paged at the game. When the girls realize that this is Chekhov's Hyperventilation, they lie him on pillows on the floor and Edith gets a paper bag. While Mike regains control of his breathing, Gloria apologizes for how she's been treating him. The episode closes with the two of them alone and Michael saying things that make her laugh.

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M*A*S*H
"Mail Call, Again"
Originally aired December 9, 1975

Letters from home spark a number of mini-dramas: Col. Potter learns he's a grandfather, Hawkeye gets his hometown newspaper, Radar gets a home movie from his family, and Frank learns his wife has found out about his affair with Margaret and is asking for a divorce.

Potter's shaving with a straight razor when Radar reads an arriving piece of postage from the colonel's dentist son, announcing an incoming grandchild. (There's a loud whoop during which I'm not sure whether Potter was supposed to have cut himself.) The colonel and Radar come up with the idea of starting a pool regarding when the baby is born, its weight, and whether it's a boy or a girl. Radar next delivers a package to Houlihan containing a sexy nightgown that Frank ordered for her. Mulcahy gets a letter from his sister the sister about her basketball coaching. Hawkeye receives a Crabapple Cove Courier, and B.J. multiple letters from his wife and one from his dog. Burns's letter is steamed open--allegedly by accident--and Radar shares with the guys that his wife wants a divorce, having found out about Houlihan from another officer who'd come through the 4077th. When Frank arrives, he rudely sends Radar on his way.

Hawkeye: We like Radar, Frank.​

B.J.: He's soft and cuddy.​

Hawkeye: And almost housebroken.​

Burns notices that his letter was open, yet tries to hide what it's about, chewing a pillow up while reading it and ultimately running out...desperate to call home and not in the mood to hear about the arrival of Margaret's naughty nightie. But when Burns gets to the radio, the colonel--who cuts short Burns's abuse of Radar--is burning up the air between Korea and Ohio trying to find out what hospital his daughter-in-law is at.

Hawkeye reads gossipy small-town news items to an apparently shell-shocked patient in the ward. Klinger visits the colonel's office in widow's garb with news that his two brothers have died, and wastes no time in citing an Army regulation that would allow him to be discharged as the surviving son. A wary Potter pulls out his service record, which indicates that he has no brothers.

Potter: Every time you tell a lie your nose gets smaller.​

When Frank's getting himself patched through to Indiana, Klinger comes in for sundry business with Radar, so the major feels the need borrow Potter's phone. Margaret eavesdrops on Radar's end and gets worked into a rage listening to Frank pleading with Louise while describing how unattractive Major Houlihan is.

Klinger and Radar have been setting up a projector to watch a home movie from Radar's family, in which we get our first look at his mother:

Mrs. O'Reilly's silent sign-off brings Walter to tears. Just as the film ends, Potter gets a brief call informing his that he has a granddaughter. The personnel have a little drinking party in honor of the occasion.

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Hawaii Five-O
"Wooden Model of a Rat"
Originally aired December 11, 1975

McGarrett's probe of Asian art smuggling grinds to a halt when he is charged with possession of one of the items.

Curator Gustave Lupin (Richard McKenzie) is describing the Museum of Oriental Art's low-key exhibition of Asian miniature carved figures to wealthy patron Mr. August March, who takes an interest in one of the citizens who's contributing his modest private collection.

At Stately March Manor, August gloats of his discovery and how he plans to take advantage of it to his sardonic associate, Suzari (FOFF charter member Kwan Hi Lim). March has a meeting with a Professor Masaaki (John Fujioka) to make an unspecified proposition. Meanwhile, Steve's working on a smuggling case involving such art objects, which has been stymied by a courier, Kim Chung Lo, having diplomatic immunity, so he wants to find who the objects are being fenced to before they're shipped to the mainland. Danno meets with the courier's mistress on the islands, Malinda Grant (Josie Over and Over), who tells him that Kim's interested in seeking asylum so he can stay with her. She's taking the initiative of trying to set up a deal that would involve him talking. Steve gets a call from the high-strung Mr. Lupin, insisting that he come to the museum at once. Lupin takes Steve to talk to Masaaki, who, accompanied by March, confronts Steve with the titularly named piece in his collection having been stolen from the Yokohama Museum six months prior, though Steve insists that he picked it up in Korea in 1951. (Crossover! Crossover!) Already-present members of the press take pictures and write up the scandal in the papers, connecting Steve's alleged crime with Five-O's investigation.

Steve explains to John Manicote that his similar-looking piece was a Tomakazu, not an Ittan; and suspects that this is a ruse to discredit the investigation. When Danno questions Lupin, the curator produces a handwritten inventory cataloging the piece Steve contributed as an Ittan. After Steve watches a press conference in which Masaaki cites McGarrett's reputation for impeccable honesty...

Steve: I've never been called a thief more politely in my whole life.​

At March Manor, Suzari informs August of the courier's pursuit of asylum, so March sends Suzari to silence him. As Danno and Duke are presenting Ms. Grant with their witness protection offer, Suzari pays a visit to Kim Chung Lo (Peter Chun). Kim is subsequently found dead of an apparent suicide, complete with a note expressing shame for his affair. Masaaki brings in Dr. Hayabusa of the Yokohama Museum (Bill Lee), who bears a list of the other pieces stolen in the same theft. One of them is a similarly valued piece that Five-O recovered in its investigation and returned to the museum. This is taken as an implication that Steve was pocketing some pieces confiscated by Five-O, forcing Manicote to present the evidence against Steve before a grand jury.

Danno questions Masaaki about the circumstances of Mr. March bringing him in, his discovery of the stolen piece, and why the press was called in, which Masaaki himself found odd. Danno then talks to March, taking away that he has business and museum connections in various points of interest, including Yokohama. Steve theorizes that the piece could have been switched by somebody embedded in the armored car during the delivery, so Danno questions a very defensive Lupin, who packed the pieces and thus could have made it easily identifiable to the switcher. Lupin blows up when Danno suggests that he might have had the car make a stop at March's. Lupin goes to March to declare that he's washing his hands of the whole affair; following which March calls Suzari; following which Lupin is found hanging in his home.

A houseboy saw Suzari leaving, which gives Five-O a description to go on. An investigation of Lupin's records indicates travel activities that connect to the smuggling investigation, and he's identified as the contact of a paid courier who's in jail. Doc Bergman determines that Lupin was already dead before he was hung: "It's called killing yourself the hard way." Che finds that needle marks indicating that he was an addict and that he died of a massive overdose. While Steve puts the pressure on March, Five-O spots Suzari visiting March's and picks him up. Steve's playing hardball with Suzari in his office when Danno brings in a headline reporting that Steve's been indicted, which is followed by a call from Manicote in which Steve soberly agrees to turn himself over in the morning. Suzari is let go and goes straight to March to share the good news. Suzari then threatens to talk to McGarrett if March doesn't give him McGarrett's switched Tomakazu, which would be Suzari's insurance against being silenced himself. March produces the rat, along with a gun, but then Five-O swoops in and Steve confiscates his Tomakazu.

McGarrett underscores that this indicates March was the possessor of the stolen Ittan, and has the duo booked. He then calls Manicote with an update.

Steve: I've got the rats...both of them. And they're not carved ones, either.​

Episode-closing freeze frame:

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Me too. I don't think I ever thought about it much.

It's something I might have been expected to remember, being a Hoosier.

Oh, sure, there were a few sequels.

I meant IRL.

I've started a meme.

[robin]I-i-i started a me-e-e-me...[/robin]

The only thing that worries me about now is monetized social media-- the Culture War is a multi-billion-dollar-a-year industry which gives an enormous financial incentive to creating new conflicts and exacerbating old conflicts. People need to realize that it's the Culture War itself that is the enemy. And I do see some signs that this is beginning to happen in Gen Z.

We can only hope.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Now nine days overdue, Gloria's edgy with Mike because of her condition, which includes frequently having to go upstairs to the bathroom.

That's an indication for elective c-section. Just sayin.'

While Archie's on a fishing trip

What, he needs another raise already?

Edith: I'm glad I had Gloria when I did, 'cause I don't think I'd know enough to have a baby today.

And there's infinitely more information given to patients today, but that's why maternal mortality is practically nonexistent.

As the exercises commence, Gloria becomes defiant and won't cooperate with Mike, so Edith steps in and puts both in their place.

I kind of remember this. They had some kind of little routine that Gloria turned around into an epithet or something, but it's all very vague.

(If she's over a week overdue, wouldn't they have already had the shower?)

Ah, good point.

Irene (uncredited in her swan song)

Good night, Irene. I wonder what the reason was that she left. She was kind of cool.

When the girls realize that this is Chekhov's Hyperventilation, they lie him on pillows on the floor and Edith gets a paper bag.

I kind of remember this part, too.

The episode closes with the two of them alone and Michael saying things that make her laugh.

"Did you hear the one about the blonde who tiptoed past the medicine cabinet?"

(There's a loud whoop during which I'm not sure whether Potter was supposed to have cut himself.)

Perhaps a whoop of delight leading to a severed jugular.

The colonel and Radar come up with the idea of starting a pool regarding when the baby is born, its weight, and whether it's a boy or a girl.

They didn't use Apgars in those days, so I won't say anything.

Radar shares with the guys that his wife wants a divorce, having found out about Houlihan from another officer who'd come through the 4077th.

I wonder if they'll follow up on this. I don't remember anything about it.

the colonel--who cuts short Burns's abuse of Radar--is burning up the air between Korea and Ohio trying to find out what hospital his daughter-in-law is at.

Might have been nice to include that information in the letter.

Hawkeye reads gossipy small-town news items to an apparently shell-shocked patient in the ward.

Was he shell shocked before or after?

Potter: Every time you tell a lie your nose gets smaller.

Demonstrably false.

Margaret eavesdrops on Radar's end and gets worked into a rage listening to Frank pleading with Louise while describing how unattractive Major Houlihan is.

It's some kind of miracle that Burns survived the war.

Klinger and Radar have been setting up a projector to watch a home movie from Radar's family, in which we get our first look at his mother:
View attachment 50689

I do remember this.

Just as the film ends, Potter gets a brief call informing his that he has a granddaughter. The personnel have a little drinking party in honor of the occasion.

Aww. It's kind of nice that they didn't interrupt this episode with incoming.

"Wooden Model of a Rat"

Not a bad title.

View attachment 50686

Uncredited Ed Asner?!

FOFF charter member

I'm probably gonna feel stupid, but I don't think I know what FOFF means.

Malinda Grant (Josie Over and Over)

I get that one.

Steve insists that he picked it up in Korea in 1951. (Crossover! Crossover!)

It was only through the magic of the charmed idol that he was able to escape the time loop.

Steve explains to John Manicote that his similar-looking piece was a Tomakazu, not an Ittan

A common mistake.

Lupin is found hanging in his home.

It's an epidemic.

Doc Bergman determines that Lupin was already dead before he was hung: "It's called killing yourself the hard way."

If it was easy anybody could do it.

Steve's playing hardball with Suzari in his office when Danno brings in a headline reporting that Steve's been indicted, which is followed by a call from Manicote in which Steve soberly agrees to turn himself over in the morning. Suzari is let go and goes straight to March to share the good news. Suzari then threatens to talk to McGarrett if March doesn't give him McGarrett's switched Tomakazu, which would be Suzari's insurance against being silenced himself. March produces the rat, along with a gun, but then Five-O swoops in and Steve confiscates his Tomakazu.

So were the headline and the call real or an M:I gambit?

View attachment 50687

McGarrett versus Lou Grant. A pretty good matchup.

Episode-closing freeze frame:
View attachment 50688

An expression seldom seen. Not a bad episode. Steve gets the frameup treatment and we see that he has a hobby more interesting than windsurfing or tennis-- though we'll probably never hear another word about it.

It's something I might have been expected to remember, being a Hoosier.

Ah, that's right, you're from Inh.

I meant IRL.

I know, I was just being allegedly funny.

[robin]I-i-i started a me-e-e-me...[/robin]

Nice.

We can only hope.

Optimism, captain!

 

[The Old Mixer]

What, he needs another raise already?

Or maybe he negotiated for weeks off. Maybe he'll be turning up on Hawaii Five-O....

I kind of remember this. They had some kind of little routine that Gloria turned around into an epithet or something, but it's all very vague.

Not finding that, but when he was showing Edith what was in the goodie bag, she cracked that she was going to have a six-pound baby while he was going to have an eight-pound lunch.

Ah, good point.

I'm no expert, but common sense tells me that these things are planned to happen comfortably ahead of the due date. Looking it up, it seems that the typical scheduling is 4-6 weeks before.

Good night, Irene. I wonder what the reason was that she left. She was kind of cool.

A quick look-up indicates that she was discontent with how little she had to do.

"Did you hear the one about the blonde who tiptoed past the medicine cabinet?"

Looked up.

They didn't use Apgars in those days, so I won't say anything.

We're really in your wheelhouse this week, aren't we? I'm reminded of how Jim Reed Jr. and the Smart twins were born the same week as me.

Might have been nice to include that information in the letter.

I was wondering how Potter knew when to start making the calls.

Was he shell shocked before or after?

I'll take that as a rhetorical question.

Uncredited Ed Asner?!

Who said he was uncredited?

Now if Lou goes missing for a couple of episodes, we'll know why.

I'm probably gonna feel stupid, but I don't think I know what FOFF means.

Newly introduced initialism for recently introduced term Five-O Frequent Flier.

I get that one.

A cute way of saying that she's also FOFF certified, in case you had other ideas.

So were the headline and the call real or an M:I gambit?

They were real...in fact, Danno took Steve out into the reception area for them. Steve went back into his office looking like he was about to do something, then we cut to Suzari returning to March. From a line or two in the wrap-up, it was Steve using the moment as an eleventh-hour Hail Mary. As Steve underscored during the arrest, March was too eager to hear that his plan had succeeded to question why they let Suzari go.

Ah, that's right, you're from Inh.

Then I moved to Fluh, but nowadays I'm in Cut.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Or maybe he negotiated for weeks off. Maybe he'll be turning up on Hawaii Five-O....

Or Rockford Files.

Not finding that, but when he was showing Edith what was in the goodie bag, she cracked that she was going to have a six-pound baby while he was going to have an eight-pound lunch.

Trying to remember that scene has been nagging at me. I remembered that one of the phrases they used was "release to touch," or something like that. But somehow it was switched around to an angry outburst, and it's just out of reach.

I'm no expert, but common sense tells me that these things are planned to happen comfortably ahead of the due date. Looking it up, it seems that the typical scheduling is 4-6 weeks before.

That makes sense. Of course, it could be easily handwaved by scheduling conflicts.
"Where have you been, Irene?"
"Out in the woods."
"What are you doing with that shovel?"
"Never mind!"

A quick look-up indicates that she was discontent with how little she had to do.

That makes sense. Although it was a paycheck and face time on one of the most popular shows around.

We're really in your wheelhouse this week, aren't we?

Yes, I've been kind of enjoying that.

I'm reminded of how Jim Reed Jr. and the Smart twins were born the same week as me.

Both of whom are ripe for spinoffs.

I was wondering how Potter knew when to start making the calls.

I guess his daughter-in-law's EDC was right on the money. <-- Still in my wheelhouse.

I'll take that as a rhetorical question.

More like a bit of snark.

Who said he was uncredited?
View attachment 50703

I meant in your synopsis.

Now if Lou goes missing for a couple of episodes, we'll know why.

"Nice tan, Lou."

Newly introduced initialism for recently introduced term Five-O Frequent Flier.

Ah, must remember that, if possible.

A cute way of saying that she's also FOFF certified, in case you had other ideas.

No, I got it. She's got a distinctive name and I think she's been on the show every year. They should have made her a regular. I don't think this show ever had a female agent.

They were real...in fact, Danno took Steve out into the reception area for them. Steve went back into his office looking like he was about to do something, then we cut to Suzari returning to March. From a line or two in the wrap-up, it was Steve using the moment as an eleventh-hour Hail Mary. As Steve underscored during the arrest, March was too eager to hear that his plan had succeeded to question why they let Suzari go.

Nice. Pretty tense finale.

Then I moved to Fluh, but nowadays I'm in Cut.

You got around. I only ever lived in Mah.

 

[The Old Mixer]

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50th Anniversary Viewing (Part 2)

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The Secrets of Isis
"Dreams of Flight"
Originally aired December 13, 1975
Season finale

A young girl stands up to her brother when he opposes her competing in a model airplane competition.

There was a right way to do a message about bigotry, and I don't think they found it. In particular, Mark's leaf-turning-over is a bit too goofy in the execution.

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Next season will feature a shorter order of new episodes and a new co-starring student replacing Cindy Lee.

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Emergency!
"Communications"
Originally aired December 13, 1975

A young worker gets his arm caught in a machine. A communication snafu occurs between Squad 51 and the hospital. Dr. Morton treats a young violinist. Two boys get a car trapped on the roof of a house. A woman tries to commit suicide by overdosing and won't let the paramedics treat her, making them wait until she passes out.

Chet comes into the station enthusiastic about having gotten a good deal on used skis, which he plans to fix up.

Roy: He'd buy a Ferris wheel if the price were right.​

Squad 51 is called to a record factory where 18-year-old worker Gary Welton (Craig Hundley) has gotten his arm caught in the worm screw of a pressing machine. Johnny has the engine called in once they're on the scene. There's a lot of yelling as Roy calls vitals down from a stepladder and Johnny talks over the background noise into the biophone. Determining that the situation is serious enough, Brackett takes Dix along in the ambulance to make a field visit in case an amputation is called for.

Once on the scene, Brackett declares that the arm has to come out immediately to avoid the alternative. Fortunately, an idea of Johnny's to have the foreman (uncredited Don Diamond) rewire the machine to operate in reverse works.

The arm is freed and put in a cardboard tourniquet for transport.

At Rampart, with no aquarium in sight, Brackett follows up with the paramedics regarding a situation from an unseen recent call in which Morton had ordered Roy, who was traveling in an ambulance, to administer a drug, and received a 10-4 response, but Roy swears that he never received the instruction. Follow-up research by the Brackett determined that in a freak coincidence, communication with the ambulance was blocked just as another squad on the same frequency was clearing their blockage while giving a 10-4 response to the pediatric facility they were in contact with. Brackett declares that going forward, 10-4 responses will have to include the number of the squad. Roy learns that things are looking relatively good for Gary, who has a severely lacerated artery but no sign of nerve damage.

Morton treats a boy named Rick Jenkins (Moosie Drier) who has a badly abraded arm from a bicycling accident. When he sees a needle Morton plans to inject him with, he refuses consent. Morton and Dix try to incentivize him with the prospect of making his arm better for whatever his favorite sport is, only to learn that he's a violin guy, but that does the trick.

The returning squad and Engine 51 are separately called to a hillside house that has a car dangling from its roof. Roy finds a couple of early teens inside named David (uncredited) and Frankie (uncredited Tierre Turner) whose feuding threatens to tip the car off. While Roy tries to hold down the rear bumper, Frankie, who's in the back seat, manages to get out, following which Roy has more difficulty keeping the front end up. While Johnny's tying a rope to the rear of the car, David offers Roy a smoke. After the other end of the rope is secured to the engine, David manages to get out, declaring that he'll give up driving until he's a little older.

At the station, Chet persuades Johnny to try the exercise bike that he's been wearing himself out on. Johnny cuts his session short by claiming to have gotten lost on his imaginary route.

Squad 51 is called to a home where they're met by a Karen Martin (Cynthia Sikes), who takes them to her roommate and fellow stewardess, Diane Kenner (Barbara George), who's taken a bottle of pills but is fully conscious and refuses aid. After Roy establishes contact with Early via landline, the paramedics play hardball with Diane, claiming that once she's unconscious, they'll be free to treat her; then make her get up and get her own cigarette; and finally lull her to unconsciousness while offering to put through a call to her family in Indiana. Once she's unresponsive, they go into action. An esophageal airway is inserted and she's carried to an ambulance for transport.

At Rampart, Roy and Johnny respond to a summons from Gary Welton, who's eager to personally share the good news that he has no nerve damage. This is quickly counterbalanced at the nurse's desk by an update from Dix.


At the station, Chet's working on restoring his skis in the locker room when he accidentally sets them on fire with a torch. After Roy extinguishes it, Stanley confiscates the borrowed "secret formula" that Chet treated the skis with to have it taken to a lab.

On a new day, Station 51 and another engine are called to a structure fire, but Squad 51 is rerouted to a home where a man (Tom Blasmore [Ted Gehring], I presume) has become trapped under a car he was working on, the tireless wheel pressing down on his chest. Roy cautiously jacks up the teetering car as far as is needed for Johnny to pull the man out; immediately following which the other side of the car collapses onto something that causes the garage to burst into flames. A reassigned Engine 51 arrives just in time to douse the blaze, following which they find that the paramedics and their rescuee took refuge under a tarp. The conscious man is carried out onto the lawn for treatment.

Cut to the squad later returning to the station to find Chet throwing away his skis without ever having used them.

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The Mary Tyler Moore Show
"One Boyfriend Too Many"
Originally aired December 13, 1975

Mary's relationship with Joe is jeopardized when her old flame Dan comes back into her life.

Mary and That Joe return from a "double date" with Ted, Georgette being sick. When Ted probes about their relationship, Joe has no problem going straight to those three words, modified for the third person. Ted attempts to advise Mary that Joe, who's ditched his other girlfriends, is a keeper.

Ted: You've let a lot of men slip through your fingers, Mary. I know, I was one of them.​

Mary: Ted...sit.​

The couple eventually manages to get rid of him.

In the newsroom, Lou takes a call from Dan Whitfield (Michael Tolan reprising a role featured from a single appearance each in seasons 2 and 3), who's coming up to see Mary. Murray and Ted remind Lou of who Dan is (though it didn't jog by memory), and take sides regarding whether they prefer Dan or Joe. Mary's pleasantly surprised to see Dan, who tells her that he's back in town and the first thing he wanted to do was to see her.

The next time she has Joe over, Mary has trouble breaking the news that she'll be seeing an "old friend" who's in town. Joe tries to take it in stride while probing the extent of Mary's relationship with Dan, learning that she was engaged to and still has feelings for him. Joe takes a well-timed call from Ted and accepts an invitation to play poker with the guys. Joe leaves Mary's on bad terms, making it clear how much the situation hurts him.

Over poker and drinks at his place, Joe gets into the situation. Ted and Lou encourage Joe's urge to rush over to Mary's and burst in on her and Dan. Murray tries to disagree, but ultimately relents. As Mary and Dan are returning from their date, he notes how she's been stalling being alone with him all evening, and how formal she's been acting around him. As Dan's reminding her of old times that we apparently didn't see, Joe bursts in wearing his poker sweats, gets embarrassed when he sees Dan's tux, and promptly excuses himself.

Back at Joe's, Ted's out cold with his head in Lou's lap.

Lou: No wonder, with those sissy drinks he's used to. This is the first booze he's ever thrown his lip around that didn't have six cherries and a little umbrella in it....In drinker's terms, tonight he lost his olive.​

Back at Mary's, Dan makes his move, but Mary pulls away. She awkwardly attempts to explain, while figuring out the situation herself, that while she's still turned on by Dan, she's not comfortable with where that leaves her and Joe.

Mary returns to Joe's and teases him about the burst-in, while coming to the conclusion that the difference between Dan and Joe is that she couldn't picture Dan doing something like that. Not able to let things go while he's ahead, Joe starts to probe Mary about how far things went. She makes a show of storming out only to immediately return, and they reconcile when Joe recasts his jealousy in terms of how strong his feelings for Mary are.

In the coda, Joe's saying goodbye to Mary before going away for two weeks; and Ted's the one who makes a scene about it.

Dan's previous two appearances don't seem to have involved him actually having been engaged to Mary, and don't make him stand out as the great lost love of her life.

The Classic/Retro Pop Culture Thread

We interrupt this 55th and 50th Anniversary rewatch with a special concert. From Germany it's The Yardbirds featuring Jimmy Page. Introduction - The Yardbirds (feat. Jimmy Page) (1967) - YouTube The Yardbirds (feat. Jimmy Page) - I' A Man & Outro (1967) - YouTube Interview - The Yardbirds feat...

www.trekbbs.com

The Classic/Retro Pop Culture Thread

I shudder at the thought of that. In the book "Nobody Does It Better: The Complete, Uncensored, Unauthorized Oral History of James Bond" there's a chapter detailing the search for Sean Connery's replacement, both after 'Thunderball' and 'Diamonds are Forever' and the producers had a list of...

www.trekbbs.com

It seems like they're retconning the relationship as having been a bigger deal than was presented on screen.

Spoiler alert: We're not going to be seeing either of these guys again.

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The Bob Newhart Show
"A Matter of Vice-Principal"
Originally aired December 13, 1975

Emily is promoted to vice-principal over another teacher who's been at the school longer.

Emily gets a ride home and help bringing in her groceries from vice-principal shoo-in Ed Hoffman (Lawrence Pressman) and his fellow-teacher wife, Janet (Frances Lee McCain). The couple is confident in discussing their plans while making a show of acknowledging that it's not a sure thing yet. Howard walks in while the Hoffmans are in the living room and initially assumes that the Hartleys suddenly moved. His subgag involves working on a short but highly fictionalized autobiographical piece for Sky World magazine.

At Bob's office, Gail Bronson, now with her leg in a cast, is still filling in for Carol...drawing laughs from the male characters when she explains that she fell off her shoes. Emily drops in to tell Bob that Ed didn't get the vice-principal's position...she did. Emily feels bad about having unexpectedly gotten the job that Ed was obviously counting on, and cuts one of Bob's childhood stories off. The Hartleys have the Hoffmans over for a celebration that was supposed to be in Ed's honor, during which he makes a better show of acting pleased than Janet does. The Hoffmans bring up how they're canceling their plans to visit Scotland and buy a house. When Janet gets catty about Emily having upstaged Ed with her school activities, and Ed tacitly agrees with her.

Bob: Look, I think, uh, I think something, uh, needs to be said here, and it, uh, may not be my place, but since this is my place, I'm going to say it.​

After attempting to go into the story that he tried to tell Emily, Bob declares that the Hoffmans are going to have to learn to accept it the situation. Again Ed makes a show of being agreeable to that, but Janet isn't on board.

On her new job, Emily quickly finds herself swamped with sundry school affairs and has to discipline a boy named Billy Foster (Poindexter) for slugging a girl. Ed comes in angry that his class's field trip was canceled for lack of funds. Criticizing Emily in comparison with her predecessor, he quits.

At Bob's office, Jerry finds himself doing all of Gail's tasks that involve mobility, like delivering coffee and urology specimens. Bob does a phone gag in which Emily calls and confuses him with all the odd things she's dealing with. At home, Emily's conflicted over whether she should quit the position, and Bob tries to be supportive of either choice. Ed comes by to declare that he wouldn't take the VP job if she vacates it, encouraging her to stay and setting the example by rescinding his prior resignation...though Janet stays in the car.

In the coda, Emily's beginning to settle into the unreasonable demands of her job; and Howard brings by his published bio, which was edited down to a bit of nonsense. (Say, where's his journalist fiancée when he needs her?)

---

Trying to remember that scene has been nagging at me. I remembered that one of the phrases they used was "release to touch," or something like that. But somehow it was switched around to an angry outburst, and it's just out of reach.

I've since deleted the episode, so I can't check again. There was a demonstration of how the exercises were supposed to condition her to physically respond to his commands, but they argued over which arm and leg he was giving her instructions for.

That makes sense. Although it was a paycheck and face time on one of the most popular shows around.

Maybe she saw that there wasn't a spin-off in it for her.

I guess his daughter-in-law's EDC was right on the money. <-- Still in my wheelhouse.

Showoff.

I meant in your synopsis.

Screencap = "(Ed Asner)" x 500.

No, I got it. She's got a distinctive name and I think she's been on the show every year. They should have made her a regular. I don't think this show ever had a female agent.

She's been on more times than have made my write-ups, as she often plays uncredited or minor credited roles. This one seemed like the situation was written to use her, as it would have been simpler if they'd been negotiating directly with the witness.

You got around. I only ever lived in Mah.

During one of my Inh periods, I also unofficially lived over the border in Mih.

 

[RJDiogenes]

There was a right way to do a message about bigotry, and I don't think they found it. In particular, Mark's leaf-turning-over is a bit too goofy in the execution.

But at least we had the Isis-Marvelverse excitement of an eighteen-wheeler rolling away for no apparent reason and yet managing to stick to the curves on the mountain road.

Next season will feature a shorter order of new episodes and a new co-starring student replacing Cindy Lee.

Aw, bummer. My favorite character.

Determining that the situation is serious enough, Brackett takes Dix along in the ambulance to make a field visit in case an amputation is called for.
View attachment 50720

Whoa, Dix and the Brackett get to join the landing party.

Fortunately, an idea of Johnny's to have the foreman (uncredited Don Diamond) rewire the machine to operate in reverse works.

Good thinking, Johnny.

At Rampart, with no aquarium in sight

That answers that question.

Follow-up research by the Brackett determined that in a freak coincidence, communication with the ambulance was blocked just as another squad on the same frequency was clearing their blockage while giving a 10-4 response to the pediatric facility they were in contact with. Brackett declares that going forward, 10-4 responses will have to include the number of the squad.

This seems very familiar.

Roy learns that things are looking relatively good for Gary, who has a severely lacerated artery but no sign of nerve damage.

He can probably thank Johnny for that.

Rick Jenkins (Moosie Drier)

The treehouse kid.

While Roy tries to hold down the rear bumper, Frankie, who's in the back seat, manages to get out, following which Roy has more difficulty keeping the front end up.

That's a tough situation. Getting one kid out puts the other kid in greater danger, but you don't want to make the first kid stay when he has the chance to escape.

After Roy establishes contact with Early via landline, the paramedics play hardball with Diane, claiming that once she's unconscious, they'll be free to treat her

The treatment of patient consent on this show seems very inconsistent.

At Rampart, Roy and Johnny respond to a summons from Gary Welton, who's eager to personally share the good news that he has no nerve damage. This is quickly counterbalanced at the nurse's desk by an update from Dix.
View attachment 50719

Well, at least we know the outcomes. The woman didn't seem that bad off.

At the station, Chet's working on restoring his skis in the locker room when he accidentally sets them on fire with a torch.

These firemen are a bunch of pyros.

Squad 51 is rerouted to a home where a man (Tom Blasmore [Ted Gehring], I presume) has become trapped under a car he was working on, the tireless wheel pressing down on his chest. Roy cautiously jacks up the teetering car as far as is needed for Johnny to pull the man out; immediately following which the other side of the car collapses onto something that causes the garage to burst into flames. A reassigned Engine 51 arrives just in time to douse the blaze, following which they find that the paramedics and their rescuee took refuge under a tarp.

I definitely remember this sequence, so I must have seen the episode, but nothing else rings a bell apart from that one other little bit I mentioned.

Mary and That Joe return from a "double date" with Ted, Georgette being sick.

"A 10% increase, a 401k, and an appearance on The Rockford Files. That's my final offer."

Ted: You've let a lot of men slip through your fingers, Mary. I know, I was one of them.

take sides regarding whether they prefer Dan or Joe.

None of the above. I wonder what actor of that time period would be worthy of being Mary Richards' boyfriend. I'll have to think about that.

Joe leaves Mary's on bad terms, making it clear how much the situation hurts him.

You're a hypocrite, Joe.

Ted and Lou encourage Joe's urge to rush over to Mary's and burst in on her and Dan. Murray tries to disagree, but ultimately relents.

Wow.

As Dan's reminding her of old times that we apparently didn't see

Well, it's not an HBO show.

Lou: No wonder, with those sissy drinks he's used to. This is the first booze he's ever thrown his lip around that didn't have six cherries and a little umbrella in it....In drinker's terms, tonight he lost his olive.

Dan's previous two appearances don't seem to have involved him actually having been engaged to Mary, and don't make him stand out as the great lost love of her life.

Yeah, that's weird. I wonder why they picked him over all the other possibilities. They should have brought in the guy she was married or engaged to before she moved to Minneapolis.

Spoiler alert: We're not going to be seeing either of these guys again.

Good riddance. I'm guessing there was negative feedback from the audience.

Howard walks in while the Hoffmans are in the living room and initially assumes that the Hartleys suddenly moved.

The Hartleys are gone, Howard. All evidence of their existence has been erased. If you value your life, don't ask questions.

At Bob's office, Gail Bronson, now with her leg in a cast, is still filling in for Carol...

Hawaii Five-O? Rockford Files? Maybe Columbo!

Emily drops in to tell Bob that Ed didn't get the vice-principal's position...she did.

This seems familiar. Is it a follow up to a previous subplot?

The Hoffmans bring up how they're canceling their plans to visit Scotland and buy a house.

"We'll probably never get to retire now. Can we borrow two bucks for gas?"

When Janet gets catty about Emily having upstaged Ed with her school activities, and Ed tacitly agrees with her.

"No fair being better qualified."

Bob declares that the Hoffmans are going to have to learn to accept it the situation.

Dude's a psychologist, all right.

Criticizing Emily in comparison with her predecessor, he quits.

And he was doing so good.

At Bob's office, Jerry finds himself doing all of Gail's tasks that involve mobility, like delivering coffee and urology specimens.

This is so weird. I wonder if the actress really got hurt.

Ed comes by to declare that he wouldn't take the VP job if she vacates it, encouraging her to stay and setting the example by rescinding his prior resignation...though Janet stays in the car.

Interesting plot. Ed gets to have a mild character arc, while Janet just gets to be a jerk.

Howard brings by his published bio, which was edited down to a bit of nonsense. (Say, where's his journalist fiancée when he needs her?)

Getting her own stories edited down to a paragraph by her own editor.

I've since deleted the episode, so I can't check again. There was a demonstration of how the exercises were supposed to condition her to physically respond to his commands, but they argued over which arm and leg he was giving her instructions for.

I looked on YouTube for a couple of minutes, but I couldn't find anything. I'm probably mashing up a couple of different scenes or something.

Maybe she saw that there wasn't a spin-off in it for her.

Could be. She probably could have carried a show, with the right concept. She's got a lot of character actor personality.

Showoff.

Screencap = "(Ed Asner)" x 500.

He is pretty unmistakable.

She's been on more times than have made my write-ups, as she often plays uncredited or minor credited roles. This one seemed like the situation was written to use her, as it would have been simpler if they'd been negotiating directly with the witness.

She must have been popular with the casting director and actors.

During one of my Inh periods, I also unofficially lived over the border in Mih.

You're like David Banner.

 

[The Old Mixer]

But at least we had the Isis-Marvelverse excitement of an eighteen-wheeler rolling away for no apparent reason and yet managing to stick to the curves on the mountain road.

And Isis got to take the wheel!

Aw, bummer. My favorite character.

Maybe you'll get a new favorite, we'll see.

Whoa, Dix and the Brackett get to join the landing party.

The two of them riding together with Brackett on the phone has a Batman vibe to me.

That answers that question.

It could've been beyond the fourth wall, but at this point we'll assume it got moved unless it actually pops up.

This seems very familiar.

They've done prior plots about communication issues, particularly one about prioritizing who's on the line. But not this particular issue.

The treatment of patient consent on this show seems very inconsistent.

This seemed reasonable to me, as needing consent from unconscious victims would be highly impractical. They were getting her on a technicality.

Well, at least we know the outcomes. The woman didn't seem that bad off.

I have to wonder if they felt guilty about encouraging her to lose consciousness, but what choice did they have?

These firemen are a bunch of pyros.

For the review board:

None of the above. I wonder what actor of that time period would be worthy of being Mary Richards' boyfriend. I'll have to think about that.

Jack Lord?

Wow.

They were all inebriated, and basically encouraging Joe to go fight for Mary, however ill-advised the specific situation was.

Yeah, that's weird. I wonder why they picked him over all the other possibilities.

And seemed to deliberately avoid details that might have jogged our memories after 3-4 years, though I may have blinked.

They should have brought in the guy she was married or engaged to before she moved to Minneapolis.

IIRC, he showed up early on, played by Valerie Harper's then-RL husband Richard Schaal.

Good riddance. I'm guessing there was negative feedback from the audience.

Or just actor availability. One of them had three years between appearances.

The Hartleys are gone, Howard. All evidence of their existence has been erased. If you value your life, don't ask questions.

Better to go straight for the spinning crystal thingy.

This seems familiar. Is it a follow up to a previous subplot?

There was a prior, recent instance of her being considered for the position, so this could be a deliberate follow-up on that, though I'd have to check to see how well the situations line up.

This is so weird. I wonder if the actress really got hurt.

I doubt it...it was just for the comedic indignity of Jerry having to do the work that he expects from Carol and her subs.

Getting her own stories edited down to a paragraph by her own editor.

To a captioned photo.

I looked on YouTube for a couple of minutes, but I couldn't find anything. I'm probably mashing up a couple of different scenes or something.

Might be part of the actual delivery, which is coming next week viewing-wise.

Next time you want to exhibit your field of expertise, you could employ a recently discovered, relatively obscure TV catchphrase of yore.

He is pretty unmistakable.

It's not the first time I've credited a noteworthy guest with just a screencap.

She must have been popular with the casting director and actors.

And probably readily available local talent.

You're like David Banner.

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[RJDiogenes]

And Isis got to take the wheel!

Yes, that was dramatic. And she seemed to be enjoying it.

Maybe you'll get a new favorite, we'll see.

Foreshadowing?

The two of them riding together with Brackett on the phone has a Batman vibe to me.

They should do that more often. The only other time I remember was the grenade incident, and I don't think Dix got to participate.

It could've been beyond the fourth wall, but at this point we'll assume it got moved unless it actually pops up.

He should have kept it. He's under a lot of stress.

They've done prior plots about communication issues, particularly one about prioritizing who's on the line. But not this particular issue.

That might be what I'm remembering.

This seemed reasonable to me, as needing consent from unconscious victims would be highly impractical. They were getting her on a technicality.

Indeed. A technicality that I don't think would hold up in court if things had gone differently. There's no reason to assume her refusal disappears when she nods off. In fact, if that was today, there probably would have been an internal review just based on their documentation.

I have to wonder if they felt guilty about encouraging her to lose consciousness, but what choice did they have?

None. If an adult patient refuses treatment, there's nothing you can do-- except try for a court order, which obviously would not have been possible. They did their best.

For the review board:
View attachment 50735

Jack Lord?

Too old and conceited. How about Lyle Waggoner? Lee Majors? Richard Anderson might be good, but he might turn her into a human experiment. James Garner?Steve Landesberg!

They were all inebriated, and basically encouraging Joe to go fight for Mary, however ill-advised the specific situation was.

Bunch of children.

IIRC, he showed up early on, played by Valerie Harper's then-RL husband Richard Schaal.

Ah, too bad. That actually could have been a good season arc, if done right.

Or just actor availability. One of them had three years between appearances.

I was thinking specifically of Ted Bessell. They seemed to be setting him up as a regular character, given the nature of the relationship and going out of their way to show he was accepted by her friends. I suspect that either there was negative feedback from the audience or they realized that marrying off Rhoda was a mistake and didn't want to repeat it.

Better to go straight for the spinning crystal thingy.

Capped. Or Invaded. Or Pinkied. Or something.

There was a prior, recent instance of her being considered for the position, so this could be a deliberate follow-up on that, though I'd have to check to see how well the situations line up.

I thought so. And there was a question of her preferring to be a teacher over an administrator. Or maybe that was me questioning it.

I doubt it...it was just for the comedic indignity of Jerry having to do the work that he expects from Carol and her subs.
View attachment 50736

And the inherent humor of having to handle urology samples.

To a captioned photo.

Right, even worse.

Might be part of the actual delivery, which is coming next week viewing-wise.

Yes, that could very well be.

Next time you want to exhibit your field of expertise, you could employ a recently discovered, relatively obscure TV catchphrase of yore.
View attachment 50737

I like that. I'll try to remember it.

It's not the first time I've credited a noteworthy guest with just a screencap.

A man that needs no introduction.

And probably readily available local talent.

True.

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Sigh. I wish I could have piano accompaniment when I do a walk off.

 

[The Old Mixer]

---

50th Anniversary Viewing (Part 1)

---

The Six Million Dollar Man
"Clark Templeton O'Flaherty"
Originally aired December 14, 1975

Steve investigates a friend accused of stealing secret documents.

After flirting with an attractive lady (Azizi Johari), the titularly named OSI janitor (Lou Gossett) uses his keys to disable the shredder. When a friendly guard named Charlie (Tom McCorry) feeds some documents through the chute in the hall and finds that the machine's not working, he sends O'Flaherty in to fix it. While Charlie uses a nearby phone to place a bet on horses, O'Flaherty swipes one of the files, returning the rest to Charlie. (OSI security breach--DRINK!) Steve then meets up with Clark for a handball date. (Guest character is a buddy of Steve's--DRINK!)

Oscar interrupts a test of the durability of Steve's bionic arm skin to assign him to the six-month-long security breach case, which will involve a file being treated with a chemical that Steve will be able to see on the hand of the person who handles it. Handprints he spots on a pipe while Clark is working nearby put Steve on his handball buddy's tail. While Oscar is doubtful (DRINK!), Steve follows Clark home, where he picks up his mail, then proceeds to a parking garage to change to a more stylish outfit in a utility closet and switches to a more expensive car. Oscar is bewildered to learn of this, because O'Flaherty just passed a security check with flying colors. (DRINK!) Clark proceeds to a high-priced condo. When Steve comes ringing at his door, O'Flaherty starts packing money from a safe; then pulls a gun when Steve bionic-breaks in.

After Steve bionic-overcomes and -disarms him, Clark tells Steve that he's an agent of the OGA--an agency so secret that they don't carry IDs and can't divulge shat their acronym stands for (Other Government Agency according to IMDb); though Oscar has heard of them. Clark pleads with Steve to let him proceed to use the stolen documents as bait to infiltrate a spy ring; and now that Steve's willing to give O'Flaherty a chance, Oscar switches to being the skeptical one. (DRINK!) Clark takes Steve along for a meeting with his contact, Ms. Hallaway (Louise Latham), who's skeptical of O'Flaherty bringing along "Bob Towers". Following Steve's plan, the duo negotiates for the price of the other half of a torn-up set of documents. Steve insists on ten times the usual amount...which has the intended effect of Hallaway making a call to arrange a rendezvous between them and her contact up the chain. After they leave, she makes a follow-up call advising her contact to take the other half of the document via whatever means necessary.

At the back-alley rendezvous, the duo finds itself surrounded. Clark watches with disbelief as Steve single-handedly takes on two assailants. After Steve bloodlessly takes a knife in his arm, Clark splits without him. Back at OSI, Oscar brings in OGA head Bill McAdams (H. M. Wynant) to ask him about O'Flaherty. McAdams is evasive until Oscar reveals the name of his own agent. McAdams divulges that O'Flaherty is one of his agents, but indicates that he must be a double agent if he's stealing OSI documents. After Steve reunites with Clark, Hallaway calls to arrange another rendezvous still higher up the chain. When Clark asks about Steve's arm, Steve just tells him that it's artificial. Clark tries to regain Steve's confidence by boasting of some of the operations he was involved in, which Steve hasn't heard of. Their next shady rendezvous is with a George Van Rensselaer (Ryan MacDonald), who offers them the price asked for; but when Steve sees that he hasn't handled the half of the document that the baddies have, he asks for double that amount--$200,000. While Steve waits outside, Hallaway enters Van Rensselaer's office and exposes Steve's identity, encouraging her to snatch him for the secrets that he possesses.

When Steve returns and is handed over, he tries to convince the apparently opportunistic O'Flaherty that he's being had, sharing how he's determined that Van Rensselaer isn't the top man. Steve is taken handcuffed and leg-chained to Hallaway's place, where it comes out that she's the Big Man. Upon learning this, Steve and O'Flaherty, who it turns out was working with Steve all along, go into action. While Clark's taken out of the fight early, Steve takes out all of Hallway's henchmen only to find himself at the point of her gun. A revived O'Flaherty saves Steve by pushing a library ladder into her.

In the coda, Oscar questions O'Flaherty in a friendly manner about McAdams's denial of him.

Clark: Would you admit that you gave an agent those kind of orders?​

Oscar: No.​

Steve: Oscar would self-destruct before he'd admit something like that.​

Oscar proceeds to proposition O'Flaherty to defect to the OSI; and Clark, in turn, offers to get Steve into the OGA, which Steve makes a show of considering as he leaves with Clark.

There's a boatload of pics on IMDb. One of Hallaway's uncredited henchmen is future First Hulk and Swamp Thing Dick Durock.

---

All in the Family
"Birth of the Baby: Part 1"
Originally aired December 15, 1975

As Archie participates in his lodge's annual minstrel show under duress, Gloria goes into labor while at an Italian restaurant with Mike.

The use of blackface got this one a trigger warning:


Archie's desperate to come up with an excuse to get out that night's annual minstrel show at the lodge. When lodge president Ed Bradley (Herb Voland) and Barney Hefner show up in blackface and white top hats and tails, Archie hides upstairs pretending to have a medical emergency, which gives us a rare visit to the storied chamber:

The guys see through his ruse and threaten to kick him out of the lodge if he doesn't do the show this year; so "Rastus" reluctantly rehearses a routine out of costume. Mike walks in and is appalled...and Archie seizes upon the opportunity.

​

Archie: Yes he is, he is absolutely right! Now this is a bad thing we're doin'! That ain't nice there, dressin' up like that and makin' fun of the c****** people. No, Archie Bunker ain't gonna do dat! He ain't gonna get up on stage and make fun of the people that he liked and admired all his life!​

[Pause for laughter during Mike's dumbfounded reaction.]​

​

As Mike presses the issue, however, Archie ultimately comes to the defense of his lodge.

Mike: Arch, doesn't it bother you that black people are offended at a show like this?​

Archie: They ain't gonna see this show, they ain't allowed in.​

Mike: I just figured out why our baby is two weeks late....He's in no hurry to meet his grandfather.​

After everyone leaves, however, Archie's sick to his stomach at having been backed into doing the show.

At an Italian restaurant, Mike and Gloria share a last romantic moment before becoming parents. After Gloria does some wine-tasting schtick and finally takes a swig, she experiences what she informs Mike is her second contraction in twenty minutes. Mike goes into panicky expectant father mode and they head to the restaurant's phone booths to call the doctor and the folks. In a twist on the old elevator trope, Gloria finds that she's stuck in her booth.

MeTV plays the warning again before taking us to the minstrel show itself, Archie now in costume. Edith rushes backstage to share the news from Mike's call, kissing and hugging Barney by mistake. At the restaurant, Mike's in panicky overdrive and the booth is horizontal as somebody tries to pry it open, while Gloria keeps Dr. Shapiro informed via phone.

---

M*A*S*H
"The Price of Tomato Juice"
Originally aired December 16, 1975

Radar wheels and deals to obtain a supply of hard-to-get tomato juice to please Potter; Frank is jealous of a general's interest in Margaret.

Over mess, Hawkeye reads that the Empire State Building has been sold for $20 million, which IMDb describes as an anachronism twice over. When Potter enthusiastically enjoys a glass of tomato juice that Radar lets him have, Radar tries to get more only to be informed by Klinger that the one can they had was delivered as a fluke, meant for a rear area unit. After Radar goes to the guys about this, they try to enlist Frank's help in ordering a supply; and while Burns isn't motivated to help Potter because of the colonel's animosity toward him, he's willing to trade tomato juice for a pair of nylons. The guys go to Klinger, offering him a two-day pass to Seoul. Radar tries to slip the pass into Potter's paperwork, but it doesn't go unnoticed.

Potter: It's ridiculous, he's gone AWOL four times this month. He's forever digging, wriggling, flying, sidling, tunneling out of here. A pass? He needs a pass to get into the place.​

Potter nevertheless admits to having a soft spot for Klinger and gets on the phone to ask a General Bradley Barker to make an exception to a temporary restriction against leaves to Seoul. The general expresses an interest in the availability of Major Houlihan, already an acquaintance, to be his guest for the weekend. (IMDb notes that this is a different General Barker than the one played by Sorrell Booke, which is alluded to when Margaret says that she knows two General Barkers.)

Potter floats this request by Houlihan in the OR, and she's intrigued to learn that she'll be attending a reception full of VIP brass. Aware of Margaret's history with the general, Frank gets upset and is no longer interested in the nylons. Hawkeye comes up with a plan to get Margaret to remain at camp so Frank can give them to her. Radar delivers wildflowers to Houlihan with a fake note from Frank proposing marriage and has her sign a misleading response that she'll be staying with him. Klinger, in full attire, is smuggled out via the general's staff car in her place.

When Radar proudly presents Potter with more tomato juice, he declines because his last serving reminded him that he was allergic to it. (As an IMDb contributor asserts, it seems unlikely that he'd forget something like this.) In the coda, the colonel expresses his appreciation for Radar's gesture; while Klinger is returned to camp after having been the life of the general's party.

There's a running subgag about everyone swatting flies throughout the episode.

---

Hawaii Five-O
"Deadly Persuasion"
Originally aired December 18, 1975

A mentally unstable young man steals a deadly nerve gas to be used during the visit of a foreign head of state.

Said young man, Brad Stevens (Kario Salem), slides down a rope from a tower crane to the roof of the Kern Corporation to infiltrate an otherwise secure research lab via the air conditioning shafts, stealing a vial from a glass cabinet while clearly knowing exactly what he's going for and how to handle it. He leaves behind a card with a cryptic message about the guilty needing to be afraid. Steve's at the Governor's office discussing security arrangements for a royal family arriving within hours when he gets a call directly from Kern research director Bowman (Wallace Chappell). Danno is called in from lecturing in the classroom of Prof. George Davis (George Playdon), where he's asked a vague question about unjust conviction for a crime by the same young man, who gets around between scenes. At Kern, Bowman and Dr. Stern (Ed Sheehan) inform Steve of the expert theft of a chemical called TZ-40, which causes death within seconds of skin contact. Cut to Stevens carefully loading the agent into a flare gun cartridge, after which he holds one-sided conversations with a wallet photo of a policeman and enlists unreliable stoolie Harry Oakland (George Herman) at gunpoint to set up a ransom meeting with Danno.

Danno proceeds to a shabby hotel where he takes another call from Harry, who he doesn't know is in an adjacent room. Harry arranges an airport rendezvous while leading Danno to believe that a radical group is threatening to use the gas. After Danno leaves, Brad whips out the photo and confronts Harry about his role in informing Danny Williams about his father, Sgt. Stevens, being on the take, which motivated the officer's suicide; following which Brad informs Harry that Williams will be held responsible before predictably offing Harry with his silenced...automatic, for a change! Chin and Duke subsequently investigate the crime scene, the hotel clerk (Galen Kam) indicating that Danno was trying to find Harry shortly before the time of death. Dan has proceeded to the airport, where he receives a taunting call from Brad in another booth. Stevens discourages Danno from contacting Five-O by leading him to believe that he's being watched by a well-embedded group, then directs Danno's attention to his targets, who are disembarking from a recently arrived DC8.

While the royals are escorted by Steve and the Governor to the Ilikai, home of the World's Deadliest Balcony, Danno gets his first clue that he's dealing with one deranged lunatic when his caller starts having a one-sided argument with his father's lingering presence. Brad next calls the police to lead them to Danno and draw their attention to a flight to the mainland booked in his name. Meanwhile, Danno's old service .45 is found behind the hotel with his prints all over it. A pair of uniformed officers find Danno at the airport and bring him in, after he tries to evade them to comply with the caller's instructions. In Steve's office, Danno's confronted with the evidence against him. Danno tells his story on tape with John Manicote present, now believing that he's dealing with one deranged person and recalling the one-sided conversation concerning how he should feel guilty for having wrongfully convicted someone. While Steve has Danno search cases in which Harry had been his informant, Manicote fretting over what the press will make of it inspires Steve to smoke out the suspect by enlisting the press's aid in not reporting anything about the Danno affair.

A highly upset Brad calls Steve to plead with him about not taking the bait, and something he says about convicting somebody based solely on circumstantial evidence triggers Danno to flash back to the student in Davis's class. Danno quickly hands Steve a note and Steve proceeds to use the info on it, addressing Stevens by name and offering to show him the substantial evidence against his father. Brad declares his intention to proceed with using the gas, but he's been kept on the phone long enough for a trace to actually work for once, pinpointing a booth near the Ilikai. Brad proceeds to stalk his targets as they tour the Japanese temple, which is staked out by Five-O; and we see that the "royals" present are actually decoy officers in disguise. While Steve communicates with Brad via bullhorn, pointing out two snipers in hazmat suits surrounding him on the temple roof where he's perched, Danno approaches the temple and shares details of a last call from Brad's father before his suicide, which triggers Brad to question his imaginary father while realizing the truth that he was guilty. Brad's despondent collapse gives the suited officers the opportunity to approach and disarm him.

---

50th Anniversary Midnight Special

December 19, 1975
Hosted by Helen Reddy (but of course)

"Show Me the Way," Peter Frampton

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---

The only other time I remember was the grenade incident, and I don't think Dix got to participate.

Had to look that up to refresh my memory.

Indeed. A technicality that I don't think would hold up in court if things had gone differently. There's no reason to assume her refusal disappears when she nods off. In fact, if that was today, there probably would have been an internal review just based on their documentation.

But suicide is illegal--wouldn't that have a bearing on court judgments about her wishes?

Too old and conceited. How about Lyle Waggoner?

Younger and conceited?

Lee Majors?

Farrah might have something to say about that.

Richard Anderson might be good

Not exactly a spring chicken, either, though he does have his groovy chest hair and pendant.

James Garner?

Like Lord and Anderson, born in the '20s, though not too far from Mary's age.

Steve Landesberg!

Had to look him up. I could see him on the show, but he seems like the odd man out among all the other distinguished names.

Ah, too bad. That actually could have been a good season arc, if done right.

Looking into it, it seems that the boyfriend Mary left behind appeared in the first episode, played by Angus Duncan. Schaal appeared as a recurring boyfriend and his lookalike brother in the first couple of seasons.

I was thinking specifically of Ted Bessell. They seemed to be setting him up as a regular character, given the nature of the relationship and going out of their way to show he was accepted by her friends. I suspect that either there was negative feedback from the audience or they realized that marrying off Rhoda was a mistake and didn't want to repeat it.

Maybe, or things might've just fallen through.

Capped. Or Invaded. Or Pinkied. Or something.

Crystal Them Persuaded.

I thought so. And there was a question of her preferring to be a teacher over an administrator. Or maybe that was me questioning it.

All I said in the review of the other episode was that she was in the running for the promotion, and later deflated because she didn't get it. It was a throwaway episodic contrivance in the one where Bob was considering quitting because of career dissatisfaction. The new situation seems more like a retcon of the previous one than a continuation. The implication in the first instance was that somebody else got the job. They did mention the outgoing VP by name, which was good continuity, as he'd appeared a time or two.

I like that. I'll try to remember it.

I've recently been casually watching The Guns of Will Sonnett on the side. From the mix of episodes I've seen from two different channels, it seems like the catchphrase was an every-episode thing early on, but may have fallen out of use as the show went on.

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A man that needs no introduction.

Exactly.

Sigh. I wish I could have piano accompaniment when I do a walk off.

What, it doesn't play in your head?

As for me, just wait until I find a phone booth...

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[RJDiogenes]

While Charlie uses a nearby phone to place a bet on horses, O'Flaherty swipes one of the files, returning the rest to Charlie. (OSI security breach--DRINK!) Steve then meets up with Clark for a handball date. (Guest character is a buddy of Steve's--DRINK!)

Written by the Bionic Story Machine.

a file being treated with a chemical that Steve will be able to see on the hand of the person who handles it.

He must have gotten an upgrade. That seems to go beyond his telescopic and infrared abilities.

Steve follows Clark home, where he picks up his mail, then proceeds to a parking garage to change to a more stylish outfit in a utility closet and switches to a more expensive car.

I wonder if it's tricked out like Bond's Aston Martin.

Oscar is bewildered to learn of this, because O'Flaherty just passed a security check with flying colors. (DRINK!)

"Are you a security risk?"
"Nahhh."
"Great!"

Clark proceeds to a high-priced condo. When Steve comes ringing at his door, O'Flaherty starts packing money from a safe; then pulls a gun when Steve bionic-breaks in.

Why is he packing money? He's supposed to be selling something, not buying something.

Clark tells Steve that he's an agent of the OGA--an agency so secret that they don't carry IDs and can't divulge shat their acronym stands for

But they can divulge their existence and the acronym itself.

(Other Government Agency according to IMDb)

Cute.

though Oscar has heard of them

Hmm....

who's skeptical of O'Flaherty bringing along "Bob Towers".

You'd think somebody like her would be familiar with the famous astronaut who walked on the Moon.

After they leave, she makes a follow-up call advising her contact to take the other half of the document via whatever means necessary.

"Okay, I'll pay them twenty times the usual amount."

At the back-alley rendezvous

This is a pretty low-rent operation for a super-secret government organization that won't reveal the meaning of its acronym.

After Steve bloodlessly takes a knife in his arm, Clark splits without him.

This is Chekhov's Bionic-Skin Durability Test, I guess?

Back at OSI, Oscar brings in OGA head Bill McAdams

Oscar knows a lot.

McAdams divulges that O'Flaherty is one of his agents, but indicates that he must be a double agent if he's stealing OSI documents.

"Call my secretary. She'll disavow all knowledge of him."

When Clark asks about Steve's arm, Steve just tells him that it's artificial.

I think Clarke figured that much out by himself.

Clark tries to regain Steve's confidence by boasting of some of the operations he was involved in, which Steve hasn't heard of.

That's great.

when Steve sees that he hasn't handled the half of the document that the baddies have, he asks for double that amount--$200,000.

This is the real reason they call him the Six Million Dollar Man.

Hallaway enters Van Rensselaer's office and exposes Steve's identity, encouraging her to snatch him for the secrets that he possesses.

These people are so nosy.

Upon learning this, Steve and O'Flaherty, who it turns out was working with Steve all along, go into action.

I don't know, I don't think I'm ever going to trust anyone again as long as I live after all this.

Clark: Would you admit that you gave an agent those kind of orders?
Oscar: No.
Steve: Oscar would self-destruct before he'd admit something like that.

I'll bet Oscar knows the direct number of the voice on the tapes.

O'Flaherty to defect to the OSI; and Clark, in turn, offers to get Steve into the OGA, which Steve makes a show of considering as he leaves with Clark.

Unlike Section 31, we'll probably never hear of the OGA ever again.

There's a boatload of pics on IMDb.

All of the bad guys are in their suits and ties, while Steve is in his heroic 70s leisure suit.

One of Hallaway's uncredited henchmen is future First Hulk and Swamp Thing Dick Durock.

I never realized those were the same guy.

The use of blackface got this one a trigger warning:
View attachment 50749

Amazing.

Archie: Yes he is, he is absolutely right! Now this is a bad thing we're doin'! That ain't nice there, dressin' up like that and makin' fun of the c****** people. No, Archie Bunker ain't gonna do dat! He ain't gonna get up on stage and make fun of the people that he liked and admired all his life!

This is a pretty good episode for Archie. Too bad everybody changed the channel.

Archie: They ain't gonna see this show, they ain't allowed in.

Mike: I just figured out why our baby is two weeks late....He's in no hurry to meet his grandfather.

It's too bad Mike didn't have the sense to focus on positive feedback here.

Mike goes into panicky expectant father mode and they head to the restaurant's phone booths to call the doctor and the folks.

Even in those days, you didn't call your doctor directly when in labor. In any case, it would have made more sense to call a cab.

In a twist on the old elevator trope, Gloria finds that she's stuck in her booth.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. I'm pretty sure I saw these episodes.

Edith rushes backstage to share the news from Mike's call, kissing and hugging Barney by mistake.

I kinda remember that.

At the restaurant, Mike's in panicky overdrive and the booth is horizontal as somebody tries to pry it open

That's a good old-fashioned phone booth, but I don't think it would stand up to a serious onslaught.

Hawkeye reads that the Empire State Building has been sold for $20 million, which IMDb describes as an anachronism twice over.

What are the two anachronisms?

After Radar goes to the guys about this, they try to enlist Frank's help in ordering a supply; and while Burns isn't motivated to help Potter because of the colonel's animosity toward him, he's willing to trade tomato juice for a pair of nylons.

Ah, one of those episodes.

Potter: It's ridiculous, he's gone AWOL four times this month. He's forever digging, wriggling, flying, sidling, tunneling out of here. A pass? He needs a pass to get into the place.

If he had really gone AWOL, you'd think he'd be in the stockade by now, if not Leavenworth or wherever they send people who go AWOL.

(IMDb notes that this is a different General Barker than the one played by Sorrell Booke, which is alluded to when Margaret says that she knows two General Barkers.)

That's a long way to go for continuity when they could have just used a different name.

Radar delivers wildflowers to Houlihan with a fake note from Frank proposing marriage and has her sign a misleading response that she'll be staying with him.

I'd like to see the fallout from this.

When Radar proudly presents Potter with more tomato juice, he declines because his last serving reminded him that he was allergic to it. (As an IMDb contributor asserts, it seems unlikely that he'd forget something like this.)

Well, he's getting old now. Dude's in his 60s.

Klinger is returned to camp after having been the life of the general's party.

I'd like to have seen that too.

Said young man, Brad Stevens (Kario Salem), slides down a rope from a tower crane to the roof of the Kern Corporation to infiltrate an otherwise secure research lab via the air conditioning shafts, stealing a vial from a glass cabinet while clearly knowing exactly what he's going for and how to handle it.

When all this is over, the kid may get a visit from Mr Phelps in prison.

security arrangements for a royal family

"A royal family" seems oddly vague.

the same young man, who gets around between scenes.

He's friends with the writer.

a chemical called TZ-40, which causes death within seconds of skin contact.

That's strangely similar to WD-40. You'd think the lawyers would have been squeamish about that.

Harry arranges an airport rendezvous while leading Danno to believe that a radical group is threatening to use the gas.

So is Harry pretending to ransom the gas or pretending to be a tipster?

Brad informs Harry that Williams will be held responsible before predictably offing Harry with his silenced...automatic, for a change!

Missed opportunity here. He should have used the gas to show the audience exactly what the effects are.

the Ilikai, home of the World's Deadliest Balcony

They should mention that in their brochure.

A pair of uniformed officers find Danno at the airport and bring him in, after he tries to evade them to comply with the caller's instructions.

Now it's Danno's turn, and so soon after Steve's.

but he's been kept on the phone long enough for a trace to actually work for once

First the automatic, now this-- they're losing touch with their tropes!

the "royals" present are actually decoy officers in disguise

That's quite an assignment to pull.

Brad's despondent collapse gives the suited officers the opportunity to approach and disarm him.

That's a nicely non-violent climax for a disturbed antagonist. But the whole chemical weapon thing seemed a bad fit for the character and motivation.

Hosted by Helen Reddy (but of course)

Wow, she was their go-to host, I guess. I never watched it enough to notice.

"Show Me the Way," Peter Frampton

Pretty good. Some nostalgic value.

Had to look that up to refresh my memory.

I remember Brackett going out into the field to perform a grenade-ectomy. And there was a mattress involved.

But suicide is illegal--wouldn't that have a bearing on court judgments about her wishes?

Ah, this is getting complicated. I didn't see the actual conversation, but I suppose they'd have to prove that her intention was suicide and not that she just thought that they were lying or something.

Younger and conceited?

I dunno, he seems to have a sense of humor about it. Kind of like Robert Conrad.

Farrah might have something to say about that.

A knock-down, drag-out fight would settle it.

Like Lord and Anderson, born in the '20s, though not too far from Mary's age.

All my guys are ten years or less away from her, but Jack Lord is actually old enough to be her father.

Had to look him up. I could see him on the show, but he seems like the odd man out among all the other distinguished names.

He definitely is, but I think his deadpan humor would be a nice opposites-attract sitcom romance.

Looking into it, it seems that the boyfriend Mary left behind appeared in the first episode, played by Angus Duncan.

Wow, you'd think I'd remember that.

Maybe, or things might've just fallen through.

Yeah. Makes me kind of curious.

Crystal Them Persuaded.

Right.

All I said in the review of the other episode was that she was in the running for the promotion, and later deflated because she didn't get it. It was a throwaway episodic contrivance in the one where Bob was considering quitting because of career dissatisfaction. The new situation seems more like a retcon of the previous one than a continuation. The implication in the first instance was that somebody else got the job. They did mention the outgoing VP by name, which was good continuity, as he'd appeared a time or two.

Ah, okay.

I've recently been casually watching The Guns of Will Sonnett on the side.

I don't think I've ever seen that one, but I sure recognize a few faces.

What, it doesn't play in your head?

No, I just get the sad trombone.

As for me, just wait until I find a phone booth...

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She should have put the call through. That cost the phone company a lot more than a quarter.

 

[The Old Mixer]

50 Years Ago This Week


December 21

• The Energy Ministers for eleven of the 13 OPEC nations were taken hostage at the Vienna headquarters of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries. A six-member team of Palestinian commandos, believed to include Carlos (the Jackal), killed three people while fighting their way into the building. The terrorists were provided a jet and free passage from Vienna. After flying to Algiers, the gunmen released the ministers of Ecuador, Gabon, Indonesia, Nigeria and Venezuela, while still keeping those of Algeria, Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Libya and Saudi Arabia. Representatives from Qatar and the United Arab Emirates had missed the summit. The remaining hostages were freed on December 23, reportedly after the King of Saudi Arabia and the Shah of Iran paid a combined fifty million dollars.

December 22

• U.S. President Gerald Ford signed the Energy Policy and Conservation Act into law, authorizing the creation of the Strategic Petroleum Reserve, an emergency stockpile of 714 million barrels (113,500,000 cubic meters) of crude oil to be stored in tanks in underground at four salt domes in the U.S. states of Louisiana and Texas. The bill had passed the House, 300-103, and the Senate, 58-40, for emergency use in the event of a shortage of oil.
• In one of the most eagerly anticipated events of the 1975–76 U.S. television season, Joey Stivic was born on All in the Family, which finished No. 1 in the Nielsen ratings that week with the episode, attracting a 60 percent share of the Monday night viewing audience.

December 23

• A bolt of lightning killed 21 people, who were inside a hut, seeking shelter from a storm in eastern Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe). The incident remains the record for number of people electrocuted by one bolt.
• The U.S. Metric Conversion Act of 1975 was signed into law by President Ford, to guide the gradual replacement of the English system of measurements with the metric system. "To say this legislation is historic is an understatement," Ford told reporters. However, the metric system has never caught on in the United States.

December 24

• A year after the passage in the United States of the Safe Drinking Water Act, the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) issued federal regulations setting limits for six synthetic organic chemicals, ten inorganic chemicals, five radionuclides, coliform bacteria, and turbidity. The National Interim Primary Drinking Water Regulations were to take effect on June 24, 1977. The U.S. Public Health Service had first set standards in 1914.

December 25

• The British band Iron Maiden was formed by bass guitarist Steve Harris in Leyton, East London, who teamed up with vocalist Paul Mario Day, drummer Ron Matthews, and guitarists Terry Rance and Dave Sullivan.

And The Old Mixer likely got his first haul of Six Million Dollar Man toys and Bionic Action Club materials on this date.


December 26

• The Soviet Union's supersonic transport jet airplane, the Tupolev Tu-144, began regular service a month before the British and French Concorde began scheduled flights. On the initial flight between Moscow and Alma Ata, the Tu-144 carried no passengers and was used instead to transport freight and mail at Mach 2.35; the Tu-144 would begin flying Aeroflot customers on November 1, 1977, the[n?] stop seven months later.
• George Harrison appeared in the pre-taped BBC Television comedy show Rutland Weekend Television, wanting to be a pirate.

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​

December 27

• The "rally towel" made its debut for sports fans, as football's Pittsburgh Steelers distributed 30,000 of the gold-and-black items, which would later be called the "Terrible Towel," at the team's playoff game against the Baltimore Colts. The Steelers won, 14–0. The towel was the creation of Myron Cope, who announced the team's games on the radio, and the sale of the towels (which inspired similar gimmicks for other sports teams) now goes to charity. Prior to his death in 2008, Cope would comment, "A piece of terrycloth will be the monument to my career."

Selections from Billboard's Hot 100 for the week:

1. "Let's Do It Again," The Staple Singers
2. "Saturday Night," Bay City Rollers
3. "That's the Way (I Like It)," KC & The Sunshine Band
4. "Love Rollercoaster," Ohio Players
5. "Theme from Mahogany (Do You Know Where You're Going To)," Diana Ross
6. "I Write the Songs," Barry Manilow
7. "Convoy," C. W. McCall
8. "Fox on the Run," Sweet
9. "Fly, Robin, Fly," Silver Convention
10. "I Love Music, Pt. 1," The O'Jays
11. "Our Day Will Come," Frankie Valli
12. "Sky High," Jigsaw
13. "Nights on Broadway," Bee Gees
14. "Times of Your Life," Paul Anka
15. "Love to Love You Baby," Donna Summer
16. "Country Boy (You Got Your Feet in L.A.)," Glen Campbell
17. "Walk Away from Love," David Ruffin
18. "The Last Game of the Season (A Blind Man in the Bleachers)," David Geddes
19. "Sing a Song," Earth, Wind & Fire
20. "You Sexy Thing," Hot Chocolate
21. "Rock and Roll All Nite," Kiss
22. "Part Time Love," Gladys Knight & The Pips
23. "Fly Away," John Denver
24. "Evil Woman," Electric Light Orchestra
25. "For the Love of You (Part 1 & 2)," The Isley Brothers
26. "Love Machine (Pt. 1)," The Miracles
27. "Over My Head," Fleetwood Mac
28. "Full of Fire," Al Green
29. "My Little Town," Simon & Garfunkel

31. "The Way I Want to Touch You," Captain & Tennille
32. "Island Girl," Elton John

34. "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do," Neil Sedaka
35. "Baby Face," The Wing and a Prayer Fife and Drum Corps
36. "Wake Up Everybody, Pt. 1," Harold Melvin & The Blue Notes
37. "Somewhere in the Night," Helen Reddy

41. "Love Hurts," Nazareth
42. "Hurricane, Pt. 1," Bob Dylan
43. "Let It Shine"/"He Ain't Heavy, He's My Brother," Olivia Newton-John
44. "I Want'a Do Something Freaky to You," Leon Haywood
45. "Squeeze Box," The Who

49. "Low Rider," War
50. "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover," Paul Simon
51. "Secret Love," Freddy Fender

53. "Golden Years," David Bowie

56. "Feelings," Morris Albert
57. "Slow Ride," Foghat

59. "Who Loves You," The Four Seasons
60. "Theme from S.W.A.T.," Rhythm Heritage

62. "Take It to the Limit," Eagles

65. "All by Myself," Eric Carmen
66. "Deep Purple," Donny & Marie Osmond

71. "Tracks of My Tears," Linda Ronstadt
72. "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain," Willie Nelson
73. "Fanny (Be Tender with My Love)," Bee Gees

82. "Sweet Love," Commodores

85. "December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night)," The Four Seasons

87. "The White Knight," Cledus Maggard & The Citizen's Band

89. "Love Is the Drug," Roxy Music

97. "Venus and Mars/Rock Show," Wings
98. "Eighteen with a Bullet," Pete Wingfield
99. "I Believe in Father Christmas," Greg Lake

Leaving the chart:

• "I Only Have Eyes for You," Art Garfunkel (18 weeks)
• "This Will Be (An Everlasting Love)," Natalie Cole (17 weeks)

Recent and new on the chart:

"Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" (slow version), Neil Sedaka

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(Dec. 13; #8 US; #1 AC)

"Fanny (Be Tender with My Love)," Bee Gees

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(#12 US; #9 AC)

"Sweet Love," Commodores

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(#5 US; #2 R&B; #32 UK)

"December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night)," The Four Seasons

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(#1 US the weeks of Mar. 13 through 27, 1976; #18 AC; #1 UK)


And new on the boob tube:

• The Six Million Dollar Man, "The Winning Smile"
• All in the Family, "Birth of the Baby: Part 2"
• M*A*S*H, "Dear Ma"

---

Timeline entries are quoted from the Wiki page for the month and Mark Lewisohn's The Beatles Day by Day, with editing as needed.

---

Written by the Bionic Story Machine.

Hey, it coulda been moonshiners or lumberjacks.

He must have gotten an upgrade. That seems to go beyond his telescopic and infrared abilities.

It was specified to be detectable by his infrared mode.

"Are you a security risk?"
"Nahhh."
"Great!"

Pretty much.

Why is he packing money? He's supposed to be selling something, not buying something.

There may have been some handwaving of this that I didn't catch, but the bottom line is that we were being teased with the impression that he was a greedy opportunist.

But they can divulge their existence and the acronym itself.

I'm reminded of the silly business in the first Iron Man film where they teased the SHIELD acronym in a way that made it seem like they hadn't thought of it yet.

You'd think somebody like her would be familiar with the famous astronaut who walked on the Moon.

Yeah, he didn't have any fake facial hair to fall back on in this one.

"Okay, I'll pay them twenty times the usual amount."

"Except that, I mean."

This is a pretty low-rent operation for a super-secret government organization that won't reveal the meaning of its acronym.

Hey, it coulda been moonshiners or lumberjacks.

This is Chekhov's Bionic-Skin Durability Test, I guess?

Not sure...think that was just a bit of filler. They got to show Steve punching his way through a block.

Oscar knows a lot.

And yet is routinely so clueless....

"Call my secretary. She'll disavow all knowledge of him."

Self-destructed in five seconds.

That's great.

And maintained doubt as to whether this guy was for real or a snow-jobber.

I don't know, I don't think I'm ever going to trust anyone again as long as I live after all this.

Not even moonshiners or lumberjacks?

I'll bet Oscar knows the direct number of the voice on the tapes.

I like to think that he's answering to the same Secretary.

Unlike Section 31, we'll probably never hear of the OGA ever again.

This almost seemed like they might've been flirting with the idea of a spinoff; or at least a memorable returning character.

All of the bad guys are in their suits and ties, while Steve is in his heroic 70s leisure suit.

I don't remember now if I ever got the alternate action figure outfit that looked more like the civvies he wore on the show. I know that I wanted it, because it bugged me even at that age that the action figure came in a jogging suit with a Six Million Dollar Man logo on it, which was practically a superhero costume.

Amazing.

If they'd actually cut the blackface scenes, they wouldn't have had much left of the first part of one of the show's milestone episodes...and I believe Archie's due to still be in costume in Part 2. I suppose they could've blurred it out or something.

This is a pretty good episode for Archie. Too bad everybody changed the channel.

Did they? See the news item above. Most of the people watching Part 2 probably tuned into Part 1.

It's too bad Mike didn't have the sense to focus on positive feedback here.

Archie was comically insincere in his expressed motivation for not wanting to do the show; but it was a credit that whatever his actual motivation, the writers had enough foresight to cast Archie as not being on board with it. Maybe they figured that his being into something like that was a step too far for the character to remain likeable...just as joining the KKK will soon be cast as a line Archie won't cross.

Even in those days, you didn't call your doctor directly when in labor. In any case, it would have made more sense to call a cab.

They were probably getting around to that.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. I'm pretty sure I saw these episodes.

It wasn't something that I remembered off the top of my head, but the phone booth business did ring a bell once I was seeing it.

That's a good old-fashioned phone booth, but I don't think it would stand up to a serious onslaught.

They probably avoided going for a frontal assault for fear of injuring Gloria. There was a guy trying to pry open the bottom.

What are the two anachronisms?

Hawkeye is reading the newspaper and says that the Empire State Building was sold for $20 million. The building was sold for $20 million in 1928. In 1951, the building was sold for $51 million. This is during the Korean War, but Hawkeye told the information to Col. Potter and it was already established that Potter arrived at the 4077th on September 19, 1952.

Ah, one of those episodes.

Yep. I was having trouble following it the first time around when I was getting sleepy, but got it more when I rewatched the second half.

If he had really gone AWOL, you'd think he'd be in the stockade by now, if not Leavenworth or wherever they send people who go AWOL.

Hence Potter's soft spot, I presume.

That's a long way to go for continuity when they could have just used a different name.

I wouldn't have remembered that they'd already used it. And as he was unseen, it could've just as well been the same general.

Well, he's getting old now. Dude's in his 60s.

Which just makes it less credible that he blew off an allergic reaction.

I'd like to have seen that too.

When all this is over, the kid may get a visit from Mr Phelps in prison.

Way too unstable.

"A royal family" seems oddly vague.

They were the royal family in the episode...probably meant to be the Brits.

So is Harry pretending to ransom the gas or pretending to be a tipster?

Ransom...he was pretending to be a representative of the imaginary group.

Missed opportunity here. He should have used the gas to show the audience exactly what the effects are.

Probably too dangerous to use in the little shabby hotel; and we only saw him prepping the one shot.

They should mention that in their brochure.

It makes me chuckle that the show was considered good for tourism.

First the automatic, now this-- they're losing touch with their tropes!

Maybe somebody finally got the memo on the silenced revolver.

That's a nicely non-violent climax for a disturbed antagonist. But the whole chemical weapon thing seemed a bad fit for the character and motivation.

Maybe...did seem like overkill as a plot device. But it also motivated Five-O to handle this guy with caution.

Wow, she was their go-to host, I guess. I never watched it enough to notice.

What I'm starting to realize looking up these clips is that the show seemed to air performances from the same concerts on different dates; and apparently sometimes outright reused performances on different dates. Hence some of those Bee Gees performances being in September and December episodes. So we don't know how far they were stretching out a little Helen Reddy availability. I wonder if she was wearing the same top in all of those episodes.

Pretty good. Some nostalgic value.

Case in point, there was a Frampton clip of another of his well-known songs from a few months back...which I think I posted...in which he's wearing the same outfit.

I remember Brackett going out into the field to perform a grenade-ectomy. And there was a mattress involved.

Yeah, that's what was in the post I managed to dig up.

Ah, this is getting complicated. I didn't see the actual conversation, but I suppose they'd have to prove that her intention was suicide and not that she just thought that they were lying or something.

She swallowed a bottle of pills, her intention was clear.

A knock-down, drag-out fight would settle it.

I walked right into that.

All my guys are ten years or less away from her, but Jack Lord is actually old enough to be her father.

Barely...16 years difference.

Of course, we both failed to consider the most obvious choice. Also born in the '20s, 11-year difference.

Wow, you'd think I'd remember that.

Big Angus Duncan fan?

I don't think I've ever seen that one, but I sure recognize a few faces.

Of course, Sheriff Lobo from Maple Street was the first guest villain, who didn't survive the scene...the first example of how the show's bad guys underestimate what stealthily quick draws the Sonnetts are.

 

[RJDiogenes]

The Energy Ministers for eleven of the 13 OPEC nations were taken hostage at the Vienna headquarters of the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries. A six-member team of Palestinian commandos, believed to include Carlos (the Jackal), killed three people while fighting their way into the building. The terrorists were provided a jet and free passage from Vienna. After flying to Algiers, the gunmen released the ministers of Ecuador, Gabon, Indonesia, Nigeria and Venezuela, while still keeping those of Algeria, Iran, Iraq, Kuwait, Libya and Saudi Arabia. Representatives from Qatar and the United Arab Emirates had missed the summit. The remaining hostages were freed on December 23, reportedly after the King of Saudi Arabia and the Shah of Iran paid a combined fifty million dollars.

That was quite a successful escapade, although I think they eventually caught up with Carlos. It's not clear here whether he was the mastermind behind this, though, or if he just participated.

In one of the most eagerly anticipated events of the 1975–76 U.S. television season, Joey Stivic was born on All in the Family, which finished No. 1 in the Nielsen ratings that week with the episode, attracting a 60 percent share of the Monday night viewing audience.

That sounds familiar.

A bolt of lightning killed 21 people, who were inside a hut, seeking shelter from a storm in eastern Rhodesia (now Zimbabwe). The incident remains the record for number of people electrocuted by one bolt.

Yeah, that's not a record we want to beat.

However, the metric system has never caught on in the United States.

That's fine with me.

The British band Iron Maiden was formed by bass guitarist Steve Harris in Leyton, East London, who teamed up with vocalist Paul Mario Day, drummer Ron Matthews, and guitarists Terry Rance and Dave Sullivan.

It's an odd day to form a Heavy Metal band. Did they all get new guitars from Santa or something?

And The Old Mixer likely got his first haul of Six Million Dollar Man toys and Bionic Action Club materials on this date.

Merry Christmas!

George Harrison appeared in the pre-taped BBC Television comedy show Rutland Weekend Television, wanting to be a pirate.

That was cute. He should have released that as a single.

"Breaking Up Is Hard to Do" (slow version), Neil Sedaka

I had totally forgotten about this. Slight twinge of nostalgia.

"Fanny (Be Tender with My Love)," Bee Gees

The Bee Gees are still good. Some nostalgic value.

"Sweet Love," Commodores

Some parts of this are kinda familiar, but it's not registering on the nostalgia scale.

"December, 1963 (Oh, What a Night)," The Four Seasons

Classic. Strong nostalgic value.

Hey, it coulda been moonshiners or lumberjacks.

Or moonshiners versus lumberjacks.

It was specified to be detectable by his infrared mode.

Hm. Okay.

I'm reminded of the silly business in the first Iron Man film where they teased the SHIELD acronym in a way that made it seem like they hadn't thought of it yet.

They did a similar bit in the first episode of Agents of SHIELD.

"Except that, I mean."

Hey, it coulda been moonshiners or lumberjacks.

Or Sonny Bono.

And yet is routinely so clueless....

And maintained doubt as to whether this guy was for real or a snow-jobber.

Yeah, cute.

Not even moonshiners or lumberjacks?

Lumberjacks are okay.

I like to think that he's answering to the same Secretary.

Indeed. That could very well be.

This almost seemed like they might've been flirting with the idea of a spinoff; or at least a memorable returning character.

I'm sure he would have been a memorable recurring character.

I don't remember now if I ever got the alternate action figure outfit that looked more like the civvies he wore on the show. I know that I wanted it, because it bugged me even at that age that the action figure came in a jogging suit with a Six Million Dollar Man logo on it, which was practically a superhero costume.

Not a good fashion choice-- unless he also wears a mask with it.

If they'd actually cut the blackface scenes, they wouldn't have had much left of the first part of one of the show's milestone episodes...and I believe Archie's due to still be in costume in Part 2. I suppose they could've blurred it out or something.

Or just showed the episode to an adult audience who knows what's going on, like they did fifty years ago.

Did they? See the news item above. Most of the people watching Part 2 probably tuned into Part 1.

I was just making fun of the trigger warning. "Eek! Turn the channel, quick!"

Archie was comically insincere in his expressed motivation for not wanting to do the show; but it was a credit that whatever his actual motivation, the writers had enough foresight to cast Archie as not being on board with it. Maybe they figured that his being into something like that was a step too far for the character to remain likeable...just as joining the KKK will soon be cast as a line Archie won't cross.

That was another great episode. One of my favorite moments is when he tells the KKK that he's part Black.

They probably avoided going for a frontal assault for fear of injuring Gloria. There was a guy trying to pry open the bottom.

Well, I have no idea how those things were put together, so....

I wouldn't have remembered that they'd already used it. And as he was unseen, it could've just as well been the same general.

Yeah, very strange.

Which just makes it less credible that he blew off an allergic reaction.

I suppose.

View attachment 50759View attachment 50760

Aww, so cute. Maybe he can get a transfer, if not a discharge.

Way too unstable.

That just makes him more expendable.

They were the royal family in the episode...probably meant to be the Brits.

Okay, I was wondering if they might be Hawaiian or Japanese, especially given the mention of the Japanese temple.

Probably too dangerous to use in the little shabby hotel; and we only saw him prepping the one shot.

Eh, they could have worked it out. It would have punched up the script a bit and ramped up the tension.

It makes me chuckle that the show was considered good for tourism.

"Honeymoon in Hawaii?! We'll be lucky to get out alive!"

Maybe somebody finally got the memo on the silenced revolver.

What I'm starting to realize looking up these clips is that the show seemed to air performances from the same concerts on different dates; and apparently sometimes outright reused performances on different dates. Hence some of those Bee Gees performances being in September and December episodes. So we don't know how far they were stretching out a little Helen Reddy availability. I wonder if she was wearing the same top in all of those episodes.

She probably was. I didn't realize that they spread the performances around like that.

She swallowed a bottle of pills, her intention was clear.

Yeah, but she has a lawyer. No, I don't think there was really any way they would be likely to get in trouble.

I walked right into that.

Barely...16 years difference.

Oh, I've seen a lot of sixteen-year-old parents.

Of course, we both failed to consider the most obvious choice. Also born in the '20s, 11-year difference.

Wow, I can't believe I didn't think of him. That would have been legendary. But I'm sure both of them would have been adamant about not doing it.

Big Angus Duncan fan?

Heh. No, I just should have remembered that we actually met her Big Ex.

Sheriff Lobo from Maple Street

Beared and Zoned.

 

[The Old Mixer]

70 Years Ago This Holiday Season

Some non-charting bits of business from 1955:

"'Twas the Night Before Christmas," Fred Waring & The Pennsylvanians

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"Mele Kalikimaka," Bing Crosby w/ The Andrews Sisters

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(originally released in 1950 as the B-side of "Poppa Santa Claus")

The following holiday classic was originally released in 1955 as part of a larger medley, and belatedly issued as its own single in 1971.

"Jingle Bells," The Singing Dogs

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Merry Christmas!

---

That was quite a successful escapade, although I think they eventually caught up with Carlos. It's not clear here whether he was the mastermind behind this, though, or if he just participated.

At a glance, it looks like he continued his career and was arrested in the '90s.

That sounds familiar.

Sounds like a big deal...I may have to check that out.

Yeah, that's not a record we want to beat.

Aw, c'mon, we just need a few more people in here...!

That's fine with me.

This must be why my elementary and junior high teachers were so on about us inevitably converting to metric. Hope they didn't hold their breath.

It's an odd day to form a Heavy Metal band. Did they all get new guitars from Santa or something?

Exactly what I was thinking! Actually, going by the Beatles' early years, maybe the drummer got his set, putting the key element in place. The drums were the most expensive instrument, and the trick for them was finding someone who had them, whether or not they could play them well. And they sometimes had to get by without a drummer at all.

That was cute. He should have released that as a single.

I just had to look that up to see what the entry in Lewisohn's book was about. From longer clips available that I didn't watch all the way through, apparently it was part of a larger running gag in the episode that included George appearing dressed up as a pirate in the opening monologue.

I had totally forgotten about this. Slight twinge of nostalgia.

Can't say I was familiar at all, and it escaped my notice the week it charted. From what I read, this was Sedaka employing an arrangement that had originally been used for a Lenny Welch cover of the song in 1970.

The Bee Gees are still good. Some nostalgic value.

Familiar, but not a standout among their hits.

Some parts of this are kinda familiar, but it's not registering on the nostalgia scale.

It's more familiar to me, but the title alone didn't jog my memory.

Classic. Strong nostalgic value.

Memorable, catchy classic; disco-flavored without overdoing it.

Or moonshiners versus lumberjacks.

There ya go...cull those threats to national security and the free world.

They did a similar bit in the first episode of Agents of SHIELD.

I don't recall that. Maybe they were riffing on the IM gag.

Or Sonny Bono.

Not a threat to national security and the free world...I think.

Lumberjacks are okay.

I don't have the firsthand viewing experience, but I Python that...such that I was expecting it.

Not a good fashion choice-- unless he also wears a mask with it.

It was definitely an obstacle in the immersive playing experience.

Or just showed the episode to an adult audience who knows what's going on, like they did fifty years ago.

I think they did the right thing...acknowledge it and move on.

I was just making fun of the trigger warning. "Eek! Turn the channel, quick!"

Ah.

That was another great episode. One of my favorite moments is when he tells the KKK that he's part Black.

I don't recall that bit...just that he didn't want a cross burning at the house where his grandson lived.

Well, I have no idea how those things were put together, so....

There's all that glass, and I believe the doors folded inward. Smashing those in to free a pregnant woman would be counterproductive.

Aww, so cute. Maybe he can get a transfer, if not a discharge.

Now that you mention it, you'd think that would be an option. Just get the guy away from the front lines.

Okay, I was wondering if they might be Hawaiian or Japanese, especially given the mention of the Japanese temple.

They were a bunch of white people, including a younger couple who were a dark-haired man and a blonde woman, though Charles and Di weren't a thing yet, and the man had a mustache.

Eh, they could have worked it out. It would have punched up the script a bit and ramped up the tension.

Probably some sort of demonstration was in order. But that also could have undermined the threat as it would've meant that Five-O had already failed to prevent the gas from being used.

"Honeymoon in Hawaii?! We'll be lucky to get out alive!"

Exactly.

Yeah, but she has a lawyer. No, I don't think there was really any way they would be likely to get in trouble.

I can see how, under the circumstances, they'd be willing to take their chances. Maybe there was a good Samaritan law on their side.

Wow, I can't believe I didn't think of him. That would have been legendary. But I'm sure both of them would have been adamant about not doing it.

Yeah, definitely...but it might have been cute to have him pop up in a nonromantic role.

Beared and Zoned.

That's right...I forget that Lobo was a spinoff character.

 

[RJDiogenes]

"'Twas the Night Before Christmas," Fred Waring & The Pennsylvanians

That turned out kind of epic.

"Mele Kalikimaka," Bing Crosby w/ The Andrews Sisters

This is a good one. Yes, I do like Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters.

"Jingle Bells," The Singing Dogs

Better than chipmunks, I guess.....

Sounds like a big deal...I may have to check that out.

Aw, c'mon, we just need a few more people in here...!

Do I get to choose the people?

I just had to look that up to see what the entry in Lewisohn's book was about. From longer clips available that I didn't watch all the way through, apparently it was part of a larger running gag in the episode that included George appearing dressed up as a pirate in the opening monologue.

It's too bad he didn't live long enough to be in Pirates of the Caribbean alongside Keith Richards. That would have been interesting.

There ya go...cull those threats to national security and the free world.

Set your enemies against each other, then sit back and watch.

I don't recall that. Maybe they were riffing on the IM gag.

They probably were. In the first episode, the handsome Hydra-mole guy was in a meeting with an official, who read off the meaning of the SHIELD acronym to him and said, "Now what do you think all that means?" He replied, "That somebody really, really wanted the name to be SHIELD."

Not a threat to national security and the free world...I think.

Well, he was an elected official....

I don't have the firsthand viewing experience, but I Python that...such that I was expecting it.

Nobody expects the lumberjacks!

I don't recall that bit...just that he didn't want a cross burning at the house where his grandson lived.

I remember that too. The bit about being part Black was a callback to a previous episode that I don't think we've seen yet. We may have talked about it before, but I'll avoid spoilers for the moment.

There's all that glass, and I believe the doors folded inward. Smashing those in to free a pregnant woman would be counterproductive.

You'd think the door could just be levered off the runners, but I suppose that could cause the glass to shatter. But I do think they exaggerated the situation for the sake of the episode.

Now that you mention it, you'd think that would be an option. Just get the guy away from the front lines.

He'd be more trouble than he was worth if he wasn't living in a comedy.

They were a bunch of white people, including a younger couple who were a dark-haired man and a blonde woman, though Charles and Di weren't a thing yet, and the man had a mustache.

Hmm. Could be minor British royalty, or from another European country with royalty. Or just generic "royalty" in the Mission: Impossible style.

Probably some sort of demonstration was in order. But that also could have undermined the threat as it would've meant that Five-O had already failed to prevent the gas from being used.

That's a point.

I can see how, under the circumstances, they'd be willing to take their chances. Maybe there was a good Samaritan law on their side.

Yeah, I don't see them getting into any actual trouble.

Yeah, definitely...but it might have been cute to have him pop up in a nonromantic role.

That would have been great.

That's right...I forget that Lobo was a spinoff character.

I forgot he spun off. The weird thing is, I never watched either show so it's bizarre that I even know him.

 

[The Old Mixer]

---

50th Anniversary Viewing (Part 2)

---

Emergency!
"To Buy or Not to Buy"
Originally aired December 20, 1975

Roy thinks about buying a house, but delays too long. Responding to a fire, the firemen find two children trapped on the second floor. Two driving students are involved in a minor collision. Another traffic accident results in two injuries and a missing dog. A teenage epileptic is stranded on a concrete beam under a bridge.

Roy lists out the pros and cons of his prospective purchase on the station's blackboard, a method of reasoning that Cap'n Stanley has to explain to Chet, Johnny, and apparently the audience. While Roy's pessimistic in being able to find a con for every pro, Johnny encourages him to go for it and randomly points to an ad in the paper, for a rustic ranch that actually intrigues Roy. Then Station 51 and other units are called to a house fire in a residential neighborhood.

The firefighters' attention is drawn to a young girl (uncredited Michelle Stacy) waving for help from a second-floor window, which she tosses a stool through. Roy and Johnny ladder up to carry her down for treatment, where she tells the paramedics that her sister Kathy is unconscious inside. The paramedics gear up to enter on the ground floor and search for the victim. Roy finds a girl of approximately 13 on a bed, but a piece of roof falls on him as he's carrying her out, injuring his leg. Johnny brings Kathy out while Chet assists a limping Roy. The younger sister indicates health issues which the paramedics deduce to be diabetes complicated by neglect of medication. After Johnny reassures the girl that they're going to take care of Kathy, the victim is taken to Rampart for examination.

Brackett (to Early): You know, that fire might have saved her life?​

Johnny takes Roy to have Doc Morton attend to his abraded leg. Dix weighs in on the cons side when the subject of Roy's house-hunting comes up. On the ride back, Roy's telling Johnny that Joanne doesn't know yet when Squad 51 gets called to a traffic accident involving two female student drivers with different schools.

Safeco student driver Mrs. Helen White (Fay DeWitt): Listen, will you hurry before we blow up?​

Roy: Oh, you don't have to worry about that, there's no gasoline leak or anything.​

Mrs. White: Are you kidding? I see cars on TV blow up all the time.​

While Mrs. White is concerned about Roy damaging her cashmere sweater as he works on cutting her seat belt off, Johnny tends to the Drive-Rite student's (Patch MacKenzie, whose character is credited as Martha) lip injury, which is of special concern to her as she's a model; and the two instructors (Nicholas Worth [whose character is credited as Charles] and Alan Vint) argue over who was at fault. The Safeco instructor learns that Mrs. White has glasses that she wasn't wearing, and she scrapes the other car while attempting to depart, motivating the instructor to take the wheel, though he has trouble getting the damaged car started again.

Back at the station, Chet, having taken a particular interest in helping Roy with his dilemma, has called in Stetson-hatted broker Alexander Walcott Smith (Robert Pratt). Smith shows the paramedics his portfolio, trying to get Roy to commit to looking at one of them while downplaying the prices. Then Station 51 is called to a freeway exit accident with Officer Vince on the scene. The woman who was going the wrong way into the exit (future TNG guest Susan Gay Powell) has a possible concussion; while a boy named Billy (uncredited Bobby Porter, I presume) who was riding in the back of his father's truck when it had to swerve off the road is more concerned about finding his dog Feather than his wrist injury. While the woman and boy are loaded into the same ambulance, the paramedics promise to look for Feather, with which Vince helps. At Rampart, Billy's concerned that Feather's dead when the paramedics walk in carrying the black-and-white Border Collie.

Johnny convinces Roy to look at the house of interest on a day off, and we learn afterward at the station that while Joanne liked it, somebody bought it out from under them. Johnny has to break it to Roy that he's the buyer, having gone to check it out for himself. As Roy's fuming over this, Station 51 is called to rescue a scared teenage climber named Pete who's stuck on an underside beam of a canyon bridge. Pete's friend, Rick Dunbar (jeepers, uncredited Marc McClure), tells the firefighters that he dared Pete to do it, and that Pete's epileptic, which prioritizes a prompt rescue and consultation with Rampart. The paramedics, who start their climb with a ladder, then use ropes and harnesses to walk up the top side of a support arch, are advised to approach Pete with extreme caution while watching for signs of a seizure. Johnny makes it to the beam and tries to calm an increasingly panicky Pete, getting within grabbing distance just as Pete goes into a seizure. This causes Johnny to go over and dangle from the arch, but he manages to hold onto Pete, who's now dead weight, as they're lowered down to the ground.

In the coda, Roy tries to convince Johnny to sell him the house without marking it up for profit.

Johnny definitely doesn't seem like the house-buying type--particularly a house that's said to have lots of bedrooms (in addition to a workshop and whatnot).

---

The Mary Tyler Moore Show
"What Do You Want to Do When You Produce?"
Originally aired December 20, 1975

Murray leaves his newswriting job to produce the "Happy Homemaker" show, leaving him at the mercy of the dictatorial Sue Ann.

Sue Ann drops by Mary's to offer her the job vacated by a producer who just quit; and while there's a raise involved, Mary's not interested until Sue Ann brings up that Mary would be leaving Ted Baxter behind, at which point Mary agrees to sleep on it. (All discussed while Sue Ann repeatedly rearranges the pillows on Mary's sofa only to have Mary put them back the way they were.) The next day, when Sue Ann comes by the newsroom to follow up, Mary turns her down, but Murray asks to be considered for the job and is hired on the spot. Mary has a hard time trying to act happy for Murray; and when Murray sees Lou to tell him that he'll be taking the new job immediately, Lou's happy for him until he learns that Murray will be producing The Happy Homemaker instead of the news...which motivates Lou to pour extra-tall celebratory drinks. Ted's upset to lose his writer, though he won't consider taking a raise for Murray out of his own salary.

On his first day, Murray's deflated that Sue Ann expects him to handle menial tasks like opening sardine cans and making coffee...the former of which he's doing when Lou and Ted come down to see him. Mary's beside herself when she returns from a visit during which Murray was doing all of the kitchen cleaning. Marie drops by the newsroom pretending to be happy about the situation, but breaks down crying...which motivates Lou to get involved. He enters the set to find Murray serving as the clothes dummy for a wedding gown. While Sue Ann's fetching a veil, Lou tries to motivate Murray to be a man and stand up for himself, which Murray takes exception to.

Lou: I'm sorry, Murray. You're right. You're a man...and that's a very lovely gown.​

​

When Mary comes down, Murray learns that Marie was crying. Sue Ann returns with the veil, and Murray picks her up and sits her on the wedding cake.


In the coda, Sue Ann tries to recruit Mary for a double date with her new producer, and Mary mentions Joe being out of town.

---

The Bob Newhart Show
"Bob Has to Have His Tonsils Out, So He Spends Christmas Eve in the Hospital"
Originally aired December 20, 1975

Bob has to...well, the title pretty much says it all.

'Tis the day before the night before Christmas, and Elliot Carlin is in Bob's office sharing his list of things he plans to get for himself to make sure he gets gifts, as well as his plan to regift the ugly Christmas sweater Bob got him last year back to Bob. Bob's suffering from a sore throat and sinus issues, so Jerry drives him home, where Dr. Bickwell (Graham Jarvis) diagnoses tonsilitis. Bob's not comfortable with the doctor's assertion that his tonsils have to be "yanked," or with the doctor's bedside manner in general; nor does he like the idea of doing it the next day, which will mean spending Christmas in the hospital.

Emily: Why don't we just pretend that the wise men arrived in Bethlehem on say, uh, January 2nd?​

Bob: Emily, everybody know that the wise men arrived in Bethlehem before the Rose Bowl game!​

Actually, the arrival of the wise men is typically observed on Jan. 6, known as the Epiphany in Catholicism, and more colloquially as Little Christmas.

The next day at the hospital, Bob's embarrassed to be seen by the nurse in his hospital gown. His candy striper turns out to be elderly former patient Mrs. Loomis (Merie Earle in her last of three appearances in the role originated last season), whom he doesn't recognize until she introduces herself; while she doesn't remember him even after he reminds her. After Emily and Howard leave, a radio holiday message just rubs in that Bob's not enjoying the pleasures of home. When Mrs. Loomis finally remembers Bob, she sits on his bedside for a brief session about her unexpectedly active sex life.

After the operation, Bob's rasping to no avail for water when Elliot visits to give him a box of taffy and sit down for a follow-up session. Bob ultimately sends him away (Elliot taking the taffy with him), and is chastised by Mrs. Loomis.

Mrs. Loomis: "I. I, I." Where's your Christmas spirit? What about peace on Earth, good will toward men?​

​

Meanwhile, Jerry's helping Howard decorate his tree while the two of them bicker, which segues into Jerry discussing his Christmas experience as an orphan for sympathy (semi-good continuity; an IMDb contributor points out contrasts with Jerry having previously been depicted as a happy adoptee). Emily returns from a hospital visit, upset that Bob's being grouchy about everything; then has to break up an erupting fight between Howard and Jerry. The three of them ultimately go back to the hospital to visit Bob, though the atmosphere between them remains hostile, with some of that mood being deflected to a group of child carolers outside (Howard taking Emily's sarcastic suggestion to pour oil on them seriously).

When the trio arrives to find Bob's bed empty, Mrs. Loomis implies that he passed away; though he returns from a visit to the children's ward in a much better mood for having helped them trim their tree while passing out cookies.

Bob (still rasping): Well, uh, I had no choice. Mrs. Loomis said she'd slap me around if I didn't.​

Bob shares the news that he can be home for Christmas dinner the next day, and invites Mrs. Loomis over with her date; while Howard and Jerry make up.

Bob's back to his normal voice when he returns to the office after the holiday.

Carol: Hi, Bob, how was your Christmas?​

Bob: Fine--if you don't mind, uh, having sweet potatoes out of a straw and a glass of ham.​

Elliot drops in to hand out belated gifts--switching Bob's and Carol's when he learns that Carol's husband is allergic to goats.

Line of the episode...

Howard: Is there a trick to stringing cranberry sauce?​

Carol is now being billed in the closing credits as Carol Kester Bondurant--possibly an ongoing thing that I hadn't noticed.

---

That turned out kind of epic.

One of my Ultimate Christmas Album compilations includes an edit of this track that picks up at "His eyes, how they twinkled so gay" and ends with "to all a good night".

This is a good one. Yes, I do like Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters.

It's one that's grown on me over the years.

"Come, spend Christmas at the Ilikai."
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh--SPLAT!

Better than chipmunks, I guess.....

Hey, no cracks about the Chipmunks! I have a big, fat childhood soft spot for that one.

It's too bad he didn't live long enough to be in Pirates of the Caribbean alongside Keith Richards. That would have been interesting.

I never saw the films myself, but will this do?

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They probably were. In the first episode, the handsome Hydra-mole guy was in a meeting with an official, who read off the meaning of the SHIELD acronym to him and said, "Now what do you think all that means?" He replied, "That somebody really, really wanted the name to be SHIELD."

They were approaching it from the opposite angle, then. In the film, people kept tripping over the mouthful name of the agency, which Coulson indicated they were working on. In the wrap-up, he told Pepper that she could call them SHIELD, like it was the latest update.

Well, he was an elected official....

Which could be used by either the defense or the prosecution.

Nobody expects the lumberjacks!

also from Python, I see.

I remember that too. The bit about being part Black was a callback to a previous episode that I don't think we've seen yet. We may have talked about it before, but I'll avoid spoilers for the moment.

So it's for real?

You'd think the door could just be levered off the runners, but I suppose that could cause the glass to shatter. But I do think they exaggerated the situation for the sake of the episode.

Indeed, we don't even see the rescue in Part 2...at least not in the syndication edit.

That would have been great.

For whatever reason, I pictured him popping up as a priest.

I forgot he spun off. The weird thing is, I never watched either show so it's bizarre that I even know him.

The power of commercials.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Roy lists out the pros and cons of his prospective purchase on the station's blackboard, a method of reasoning that Cap'n Stanley has to explain to Chet, Johnny, and apparently the audience.

There are advantages to listing out the pros and cons, but there are drawbacks, too.

Johnny encourages him to go for it and randomly points to an ad in the paper, for a rustic ranch that actually intrigues Roy. Then Station 51 and other units are called to a house fire in a residential neighborhood.

House fire. Con.

a piece of roof falls on him as he's carrying her out, injuring his leg.

I wonder if real firefighters sustain injuries this often.

Brackett (to Early): You know, that fire might have saved her life?

Good things can come from bad things. And vice versa, unfortunately.

Dix weighs in on the cons side when the subject of Roy's house-hunting comes up.

Does Dix own a house? She must be single, right? She had a little thing going with Brackett at one time.

Mrs. White: Are you kidding? I see cars on TV blow up all the time.

Hah! She speaks for us.

lip injury, which is of special concern to her as she's a model

"I hope you have those lips insured, ma'am."

motivating the instructor to take the wheel, though he has trouble getting the damaged car started again.

Maybe there is a gas leak. Probably should call a tow truck.

trying to get Roy to commit to looking at one of them while downplaying the prices.

"Fifty grand isn't that much."

who was riding in the back of his father's truck when it had to swerve off the road is more concerned about finding his dog Feather than his wrist injury

Old Mix immediately bonds with this character.

the paramedics promise to look for Feather, with which Vince helps.

That's nice.

At Rampart, Billy's concerned that Feather's dead when the paramedics walk in carrying the black-and-white Border Collie.

I think we're all glad to get a resolution on that plot.

Johnny has to break it to Roy that he's the buyer, having gone to check it out for himself.

What th--?

Rick Dunbar (jeepers, uncredited Marc McClure)

So why didn't he use his Superman Emergency Wristwatch?

tells the firefighters that he dared Pete to do it, and that Pete's epileptic

"I'm a bigger jerk than Johnny."

Johnny makes it to the beam and tries to calm an increasingly panicky Pete, getting within grabbing distance just as Pete goes into a seizure. This causes Johnny to go over and dangle from the arch, but he manages to hold onto Pete, who's now dead weight, as they're lowered down to the ground.

That sounds like a tense sequence.

In the coda, Roy tries to convince Johnny to sell him the house without marking it up for profit.

"Let me give you the pros and cons of ripping me off...."

Johnny definitely doesn't seem like the house-buying type--particularly a house that's said to have lots of bedrooms (in addition to a workshop and whatnot).

Yeah, that made no sense at all.

Mary's not interested until Sue Ann brings up that Mary would be leaving Ted Baxter behind

Out of the frying pan, into the fire.

Ted's upset to lose his writer, though he won't consider taking a raise for Murray out of his own salary.

Wait'll he finds out that his new writers are Rob Petrie, Sally Rogers, and Buddy Sorrell.

Murray's deflated that Sue Ann expects him to handle menial tasks like opening sardine cans and making coffee...

He should have asked why the former producer quit.

Marie drops by the newsroom

A rare cameo.

View attachment 50811View attachment 50812

A couple of good lines for Ted.

Sue Ann returns with the veil, and Murray picks her up and sits her on the wedding cake.

I remember that. I guess WJM didn't have an HR Department.

View attachment 50814

If there was any question of Murray getting his old job back, that settled it for Lou.

Mary mentions Joe being out of town.

This is starting to sound like an Irene-and-Frank situation.

"Bob Has to Have His Tonsils Out, So He Spends Christmas Eve in the Hospital"

That's longer than a Jim Steinman song title.

Bob's suffering from a sore throat and sinus issues, so Jerry drives him home, where Dr. Bickwell (Graham Jarvis) diagnoses tonsilitis.

Dr Bickwell makes house calls?

Bob's not comfortable with the doctor's assertion that his tonsils have to be "yanked," or with the doctor's bedside manner in general

Personally, I prefer doctors with that kind of a bedside manner.

Actually, the arrival of the wise men is typically observed on Jan. 6, known as the Epiphany in Catholicism, and more colloquially as Little Christmas.

I've heard both of those terms, but I don't think I ever knew what they meant.

while she doesn't remember him even after he reminds her.

Another crisis of confidence for Bob.

When Mrs. Loomis finally remembers Bob, she sits on his bedside for a brief session about her unexpectedly active sex life.

"That'll be $75, Mrs Loomis. Just pay my copay and we'll call it even."

After the operation, Bob's rasping to no avail for water

Ice cream! You need ice cream!

View attachment 50810

(semi-good continuity; an IMDb contributor points out contrasts with Jerry having previously been depicted as a happy adoptee)

Yeah, but he's trolling for sympathy, so not really a contradiction.

then has to break up an erupting fight between Howard and Jerry.

This seems weird. Why is Jerry helping Howard decorate his tree to begin with, let alone bickering with him?

(Howard taking Emily's sarcastic suggestion to pour oil on them seriously).

I don't think we've ever seen Howard in such a bad mood.

Bob (still rasping): Well, uh, I had no choice. Mrs. Loomis said she'd slap me around if I didn't.

This is a very violent episode.

Bob shares the news that he can be home for Christmas dinner the next day, and invites Mrs. Loomis over with her date; while Howard and Jerry make up.

"Bob bless us, every one."

Bob: Fine--if you don't mind, uh, having sweet potatoes out of a straw and a glass of ham.

Actually, I spent Christmas 1978 doing stuff like that, thanks to jaw surgery.

Howard: Is there a trick to stringing cranberry sauce?

There is. It's known only to Bay Staters and is kept secret on pain of death.

Carol is now being billed in the closing credits as Carol Kester Bondurant--possibly an ongoing thing that I hadn't noticed.

The sub-plot that went nowhere....

It's one that's grown on me over the years.

I dig the Andrews Sisters. Especially "Rum and Coca Cola."

"Come, spend Christmas at the Ilikai."
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh--SPLAT!

Five-Oh'd, after about a minute.

Hey, no cracks about the Chipmunks! I have a big, fat childhood soft spot for that one.

Oops. Sorry.

I never saw the films myself, but will this do?

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I only saw the first one. I knew that Keith Richards was Jack Sparrow's father, but I never knew Paul McCartney made an appearance. That's pretty cool.

They were approaching it from the opposite angle, then. In the film, people kept tripping over the mouthful name of the agency, which Coulson indicated they were working on. In the wrap-up, he told Pepper that she could call them SHIELD, like it was the latest update.

Ah, Coulson. The best thing to come out of the MCU.

Which could be used by either the defense or the prosecution.

True.

also from Python, I see.

Now if I could only work in a dead parrot....

So it's for real?

In Archie's mind, yes.

Indeed, we don't even see the rescue in Part 2...at least not in the syndication edit.

Probably weren't allowed to damage the phone booth in real life.

For whatever reason, I pictured him popping up as a priest.

Who wants to give it all up for Mary. Come to think of it, that plot sounds familiar.

The power of commercials.

And TV Guide, probably.

 

[The Old Mixer]

There are advantages to listing out the pros and cons, but there are drawbacks, too.

I wonder if real firefighters sustain injuries this often.

I'm sure they have their moments, though we have to treat our series stars as composite characters when it comes to things like frequency.

Good things can come from bad things. And vice versa, unfortunately.

Pro: House could catch on fire and save hypothetical future daughter who hasn't been taking her diabetes meds.

Does Dix own a house? She must be single, right? She had a little thing going with Brackett at one time.

I don't recall offhand if they got into the basis for her experience.

Hah! She speaks for us.

I can picture Uncle Jack shaking his head at cars blowing up left and right on shows like H5O.

Maybe there is a gas leak. Probably should call a tow truck.

The front bumper was dangling at that point.

Old Mix immediately bonds with this character.

The dog angle was pretty much out-of-sight, out-of-mind at first.

I think we're all glad to get a resolution on that plot.

They did tease us by cutting back to the search at a point where Vince was calling it quits because he had to get back on duty.

What th--?

I should clarify that Johnny went to check it out on his own for Roy, but ended up falling for the place.

So why didn't he use his Superman Emergency Wristwatch?

In that continuity, Supes hasn't come to Metropolis yet; and Jimmy never had one.

That sounds like a tense sequence.

Yeah, they had Johnny yelling down that he'd have to let go of the kid.

Wait'll he finds out that his new writers are Rob Petrie, Sally Rogers, and Buddy Sorrell.

Dicked, Rosed, and Moreyed.

If there was any question of Murray getting his old job back, that settled it for Lou.

There was never any doubt that Lou would've taken him back, FWIW.

This is starting to sound like an Irene-and-Frank situation.

I'll keep an ear out for any further mentions. But I'm sure he'll just give way to other episodic relationships.

That's longer than a Jim Steinman song title.

Looked up and Meat Loafed.

Dr Bickwell makes house calls?

In my first-hand recollection, this was the era when that was dying out, and you heard about more than you saw it.

I've heard both of those terms, but I don't think I ever knew what they meant.

I thought you'd be more familiar; didn't you have a Catholic background/upbringing?

I picked up on Little Christmas from the Ex. She came from a Catholic family. With age, I've become mostly disillusioned with the ever-growing commercial-driven build-up to Christmas, and have come to value more the old Twelve Days, from Christmas Eve to Little Christmas, when the stores can't be done with the holiday fast enough.

When I went to get my last pre-holiday groceries the other day, the store I go to already had the seasonal aisle dominated by Valentine's Day...! I couldn't even find Christmas wrapping paper there.

And Bob was rasping the line, of course.

Yeah, but he's trolling for sympathy, so not really a contradiction.

It is when he claims not to have a family.

This seems weird. Why is Jerry helping Howard decorate his tree to begin with, let alone bickering with him?

They have socialized in the past; and Howard handwaved that the two of them didn't spend enough time together.

I don't think we've ever seen Howard in such a bad mood.

To clarify, he acted shocked because he took Emily's sarcastic suggestion seriously; he wasn't considering doing it.

Actually, I spent Christmas 1978 doing stuff like that, thanks to jaw surgery.

Yikes. I don't suppose the annual glass of ham ever caught on...?

Bay Staters

Now I would've thought that was people from Wisconsin.

The sub-plot that went nowhere....

They may still get some mileage out of it.

I dig the Andrews Sisters. Especially "Rum and Coca Cola."

I've got that one.

Five-Oh'd, after about a minute.

It took that long?

I only saw the first one. I knew that Keith Richards was Jack Sparrow's father, but I never knew Paul McCartney made an appearance. That's pretty cool.

As the uncle that Jack was named after...and singing "Maggie Mae" to boot.

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Now if I could only work in a dead parrot....

Also second-hand exposed.

Probably weren't allowed to damage the phone booth in real life.

It's pretty odd that they used it as the cliffhanger and then didn't even waste any time handwaving it away in Part 2. There was one odd reference to it that didn't even occur immediately as an explanation.

Who wants to give it all up for Mary. Come to think of it, that plot sounds familiar.

Yeah, that was a recent plot.

Merry Christmas!

 

[RJDiogenes]

I thought that would get me a Rudy.

I'm sure they have their moments, though we have to treat our series stars as composite characters when it comes to things like frequency.

"The stories you have just seen are true-- they just didn't all happen to the same person."

Pro: House could catch on fire and save hypothetical future daughter who hasn't been taking her diabetes meds.

Brackett could have made that point if he was there with Dix.

I can picture Uncle Jack shaking his head at cars blowing up left and right on shows like H5O.

What will TV shows do when all cars are electric?

The front bumper was dangling at that point.

Flatbed then. I would really not want to drive that car.

They did tease us by cutting back to the search at a point where Vince was calling it quits because he had to get back on duty.

Ominous foreshadowing fakeout!

I should clarify that Johnny went to check it out on his own for Roy, but ended up falling for the place.

Given Johnny's attention span, Roy would probably just have to wait a couple of days.

In that continuity, Supes hasn't come to Metropolis yet; and Jimmy never had one.

Too many universes!

Dicked, Rosed, and Moreyed.

There was never any doubt that Lou would've taken him back, FWIW.

No, I didn't think so, but the cake incident may have gotten him a raise.

I'll keep an ear out for any further mentions. But I'm sure he'll just give way to other episodic relationships.

Clearly something went awry with their plans, but we'll probably never know what.

Looked up and Meat Loafed.

I thought you'd get that one. Not a fan of the Loaf or the Steinman?

In my first-hand recollection, this was the era when that was dying out, and you heard about more than you saw it.

Yeah, it was a frequent punchline, but I don't remember it ever happening in real life.

I thought you'd be more familiar; didn't you have a Catholic background/upbringing?

Indeed, I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, but I was very much not into it.

I picked up on Little Christmas from the Ex. She came from a Catholic family. With age, I've become mostly disillusioned with the ever-growing commercial-driven build-up to Christmas, and have come to value more the old Twelve Days, from Christmas Eve to Little Christmas, when the stores can't be done with the holiday fast enough.

The thing that I like about Christmas is that every culture that ever existed, so far as I know, had some sort of Solstice celebration (most of the elements of Christmas, in fact, are of Pagan origin-- I think it was Emperor Constantine who changed the birthday of Christ to the Solstice in order to better assimilate the Pagans). So it's one common thread that binds together all humans throughout history.

When I went to get my last pre-holiday groceries the other day, the store I go to already had the seasonal aisle dominated by Valentine's Day...! I couldn't even find Christmas wrapping paper there.

That's insane.

And Bob was rasping the line, of course.

In a way that only Bob Newhart could.

It is when he claims not to have a family.

He's a bald-faced liar!

To clarify, he acted shocked because he took Emily's sarcastic suggestion seriously; he wasn't considering doing it.

Oh, okay.

Yikes. I don't suppose the annual glass of ham ever caught on...?

Nor the pureed lobster sauce. It was a long six weeks.

Now I would've thought that was people from Wisconsin.

I thought they were cheeseheads or something.

It took that long?

Close to it, I think. I was just giving up and Googling the lyrics when it hit me.

As the uncle that Jack was named after...and singing "Maggie Mae" to boot.

I noticed "Maggie Mae," which made me wonder about rights issues.

It's pretty odd that they used it as the cliffhanger and then didn't even waste any time handwaving it away in Part 2. There was one odd reference to it that didn't even occur immediately as an explanation.

Maybe they realized it was unworkable in the middle of filming-- kind of like Ted Bessell on MTM.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Ho Ho Ho!

 

[The Old Mixer]

I thought that would get me a Rudy.

You gotta try harder than that. I can spot you a Will.

What will TV shows do when all cars are electric?

They'll still blow up, because of errors converting them to metric.

Given Johnny's attention span, Roy would probably just have to wait a couple of days.

Seriously! All Roy had to do was say, "That's great, I'm happy for you!" Johnny would've been obsessing over what was wrong with the place in the next subplot beat.

Clearly something went awry with their plans, but we'll probably never know what.

I think it was just typical episodic TV moving along. They'll play this guy up like he's The One while he's onscreen, but he'll eventually just give way to the next episodic boyfriend.

I thought you'd get that one. Not a fan of the Loaf or the Steinman?

Not particularly.

Yeah, it was a frequent punchline, but I don't remember it ever happening in real life.

I vaguely recall a commercial of the era that used the line "I don't make house calls". Then the spokesdoctor went on to recommend Bufferin or whatever.

Indeed, I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, but I was very much not into it.

Apparently not, that I'm more familiar second-hand. Reminds me of when I was drawing a psychedelic-colored Batmobile in Sunday school.

The thing that I like about Christmas is that every culture that ever existed, so far as I know, had some sort of Solstice celebration (most of the elements of Christmas, in fact, are of Pagan origin-- I think it was Emperor Constantine who changed the birthday of Christ to the Solstice in order to better assimilate the Pagans). So it's one common thread that binds together all humans throughout history.

Yeah, I get a kick out of all the "keep the Christ in Christmas" BS. Christ was a late-coming element in this holiday.

That's insane.

In so many ways that I don't even want to get started on it.

He's a bald-faced liar!

Beak-nosed, at least.

Nor the pureed lobster sauce. It was a long six weeks.

Ah...you're in Mah, there had to be lobstah.

I thought they were cheeseheads or something.

That, too.

I noticed "Maggie Mae," which made me wonder about rights issues.

It's a traditional Liverpool shanty that the Beatles broke into during the Let It Be sessions. Public domain.

Maybe they realized it was unworkable in the middle of filming-- kind of like Ted Bessell on MTM.

I think maybe they were just teasing the audience with the whole elevator trope.

 

[RJDiogenes]

You gotta try harder than that. I can spot you a Will.
View attachment 50860

That'll do.

They'll still blow up, because of errors converting them to metric.

That actually happened on Mars.

Seriously! All Roy had to do was say, "That's great, I'm happy for you!" Johnny would've been obsessing over what was wrong with the place in the next subplot beat.

That would have been funny.

I think it was just typical episodic TV moving along. They'll play this guy up like he's The One while he's onscreen, but he'll eventually just give way to the next episodic boyfriend.

Of course, it's been half a century since I've seen it, but it was my strong impression that they were setting them up for engagement and marriage. And this business of him being away on business or whatever is very anticlimactic after the big setup.

Not particularly.

Interesting. Steinman is the master of over-the-topness, which always appeals to me. He's like a Pulp writer who went into composing lyrics. And, of course, the Loaf has an incredible voice.

I vaguely recall a commercial of the era that used the line "I don't make house calls". Then the spokesdoctor went on to recommend Bufferin or whatever.

That does sound vaguely familiar.

Apparently not, that I'm more familiar second-hand. Reminds me of when I was drawing a psychedelic-colored Batmobile in Sunday school.

You're going to Hell, Hippie.

Yeah, I get a kick out of all the "keep the Christ in Christmas" BS. Christ was a late-coming element in this holiday.

Indeed, there's very little you can point to in Christmas that is uniquely Christian. And there are actually some hardcore sects that eschew all that stuff for a very bare bones celebration-- and I use the word celebration in the very broad sense.

Beak-nosed, at least.

Ouch.

Ah...you're in Mah, there had to be lobstah.

Actually, it was Chinese food. We were trying to make the lobster sauce straw friendly. It was a long six weeks.

It's a traditional Liverpool shanty that the Beatles broke into during the Let It Be sessions. Public domain.

Aha, I don't think I knew that.

I think maybe they were just teasing the audience with the whole elevator trope.

Not a bad twist on it, really.