The Animated Series Caption Contest #16: Soup To Nuts

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

I've made a command decision on the caption contests I do: no more running tallies on wins. It drives me up a damned wall doing the changes every week, and I want these to be fun rather than a chore.

If anyone else wants to post a running tab, that's fine with me.

Anyhoot, nice start on the relaunch! The best were:

MRS. APRIL: They're kinda cute, but why does Lt. Arex keep sucking his thumb?
LIL' SPOCK: Not everyone keeps their genitals in the same place.

"Looks like someone finally watched Trek XI."

Tannoy: "Three for one special in Janice Rand's quarters. Three for one special in Janice Rand's quarters. That is all."

Redshirt (panting): Dammit! Always when I'm in the can!

Nearly every crew member rued the day almost 5 years ago that Chekov thought it was a clever prank to flush all the Enterprise's condoms down Kirk's toilet.

Young Spock: "It's my turn to 'prepare new insults for today.' Bitches."

Nicely done, all!

This week's shots are ...

Have at it.

Joe, fin

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Nailing that would be logical."

Glort: "That's not the gear shift, Mr. Spock."

Ms. Haridian: "That's not the gear shift either."

 

[scottydog]

Superman, on right: "With my x-ray vision, I can see right through that garb."

Spock: "Is she gorgeous underneath?"

Superman: "I'm talking about the Gorn. He's so hot!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Thanks for the win Shatmandu.

The Adventures of Ass Rubbing McCoy: The Animated Series

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Gorn: "Pardon me, Miss, but word around the ship is that you're keen for a big lizard."

McCoy: "The name's Leonard McCoy. But you probably know me better as 'Alexis' from that lesbian chat room you're so fond of!"

 

[Gepard]

Thanks for the wins.

McCoy: "Before you ask, that's not a phaser."

 

[Shatmandu]

Gorn: "How'd you like a little lizard in your gizzard?"

Glort: "We never talk anymore: with you, it's always straight to the handjob in the car."

McCoy: "I did warm my hand. That's my penis."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!

Spock: "If this were live action, I'd so be double dipping that... If this were live action that is."

Camille: "What fanwanker thought up a Star Trek Red Dwarf crossover."
Spock: "Shut the smeg up, Gelf, and turn into skinny Uhura again, but this time with boobs."

Uhura: "Listen Captain, I'm no scientist or xenobiologist. I'm just a communications officer. But what Doctor McCoy said is real. I've seen shit on that planet that will turn you white!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Gorn: "Come back to my place, baby. I promise I shall be merciful and quick."

Spock: "It's December and you haven't set your clock back an hour yet? No wonder we're always so fucking late to work."

Dr. McCoy's first attempt at cloning himself resulted in Ass Fisting McCoy.

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kirk (offscreen): "Now, calm down madam, you're safe now, I promise. Tell me again about the attack. The creature that destroyed the outpost, can you describe it? Ummm-hmmmm. Okay, it was pale, looming, it breathed heavily and attacked from behind-- BONES! CUT IT OUT!"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

"Ladies and gentlemen, presenting, Magizmo the Gorn, master of magic, and his loooovely assistant, Devna! For his first trick, Magizmo will make the Cestus III outpost disappear"

M3Green (slow monotone): "....and that's how my third wife left me. After that I got a job at the bakery, and after three days I got fired for putting the wrong kind of flour in the brown bags, what Mr.Red called sloppy working. My boiler burst the next evening so I was up all night trying to hold back the water. I called my brother, but he had been arrested for fraud, and was spending the night in prison. At 2.33 PM I decided to go down to the local parts shop and get some replacement parts for the boiler, but I slipped and twisted my ankle on the way. The hospital was full so they transported me in a rundown ambulance to the Central Hospital 80 miles away. When I got there-"

*Spock grabs wheel, turns car towards ravine*

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "For a guy with as many arms as you have, you can't drive stick for shit."

 

[Shatmandu]

Super Vulcan: "Give me a second, and I'll liven this party up ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Fish Girl: "Oh, so they all ogle the green one who looks like she has Rigellian herpes all over her body and they think I'm the freak?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Fish Girl, loudly: "If my mouth is full, I can breathe through my gills."
<All males turn their full attention toward her. Green slut deflates.>

 

[seigezunt]

Fish Girl, loudly: "If my mouth is full, I can breathe through my gills."
<All males turn their full attention toward her. Green slut deflates.>

You are a dirty, dirty old man, Joe.

Let's have lunch.

 

[M'Sharak]

Spock: Are you Xerius?
Xerius: Of course I am. See for yourself: Fish Girl has no nose.

 

[Rat Boy]

Super Romulan: "I shall use my X-Ray vision to see through her...never mind then. There's some dangling fruit on that vine."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: That's it??? For what we paid, I was expecting boobs.

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Sitting Klingon: I wish to read her poetry while she hurls objects at my face.
Standing Klingon: I just want her to sit on my face.