The amazing Trek movie-era six-word story

he took it all and hid

 

in an ion pod and furiously

 

looked through the whole stash

 

with one hand while the other

 

was tapping his desk rhythmically to

 

the alluring sounds of Sir Mixalot

 

's "Baby Got Back", famous even then,

 

while eating baby back ribs with

 

the sauce from a geriatric Vulcans

 

barrel of fermented Vulcanian red onions

 

that someone'd taken a dump in

 

which is an efficient fertilizer as

 

Vulcanian excrement is extraordinarily rich in

 

potassium, useful for Kirk's sudden cramp

 

when he was running in the

 

Interplanetary Masturbation Marathon, he came first

 

thanks to his potent fist. Spock

 

wept and said, "I weep for

 

that poor computer that doesn't know

 

how many lives it ruined with​