The Alternative to Time Travel in Star Trek XI

[Samuel T. Cogley]

Like all of you, I am sick to death of time travel in Star Trek.

So what is the solution?

I propose the most obvious answer:

Star Trek XI should consist of a single frame of film, and that static frame should be projected onto the movie screen for anywhere between 90 and 120 minutes. After that, the projector should be turned off and we should all go home.

Now, as to what should be featured in that single frame... That's up to the director.

I'm thinking just a shot of the cast, with Shatner (dressed as T.J. Hooker) photoshopped in the background... I don't know.

So, let's vote:

 

[ancient]

It's a waste of time worrying about it.




*Note From Future*

-I just killed my past self. I'll be feeling that one in the morning.

 

[RoJoHen]

I vote other, maybe some kind of movie that exists outside space-time. Now THAT would have "Star Trek" written all over it.

 

[T'Cal]

Yes, this will bring about change. What a great idea!

Here's a novel idea: Let's wait until we actually see the movie before we decide if its story is good or bad. Let's leave put our preconceived notions aside until the closing credits. I'm guessing Mr. Roddenberry would want it that way...

 

[johnconner]

I voted for a static shot.

Kirk should have a sports jacket thrown over his shoulder casually.

Spock should be wearing thick glasses from the seventies - like he drives a Camaro or something - with a satin, ill-fitting disco shirt with extra wide lapels and a IDIC chain nestled in his chest hairs.

McCoy should have a MACK Truck cap on, a white v-neck t-shirt under overalls and a sprig of wheat for a toothpick.

The backdrop should be darkness, and a profile of each of their faces should be gazing off into the stars upper left.

Olan Mills would be proud.

 

[Cary L. Brown]

I think that the entire film should be random shots from TOS, projected as negative and run backwards... so we'll all be able to hear the hidden secret message of "Jim is Dead."

 

[Jack Bauer]

Other. Kirk's mother and Spock's mother have wild lesbian sex for 2 hours.

 

[ITL]

I'm just looking forward to the "going home" part. Those cinema seats are too uncomfy and make my botty go numb.

Plus, I have a sammich at home that's gonna get munched down quick sharp.

Mmmm...sammich...

 

[StCoop]

It should have singing chipmunks in it. And Will Smith.

Da Kidz luv Will Smith and singing chipmunks.

 

[Plum]

... this thread is getting too surreal for me. What if the static film frame went back in time into another universe where a fan wrote a story about Kirk and Spock transposing with Shatner and Nimoy and disturbed the fabric of time ('cause of the T.J. Hooker thing)?

I'm with Janeway on this, come to think of it. Braxton!

 

[Kegek]

Time travel. The film should basically take the two most successful Star Trek movies - TVH and FC - and run their plots together. So the Enterprise goes back in time because Romulans are trying to kill Kirk's father. So Old Spock goes down to the planet, makes awkward attempts at profanities and humour, as he tries to convince Kirk's father having a kid is a good idea. Meanwhile Kirk battles Romulans who have stowed aboard the Enterprise and are taking over the ship, aided by Young Spock. Of course, Nero tries to convince Spock to join them by releasing Spock's emotions and connecting him to his Romulan heritage.

Meanwhile, Simon Pegg exists solely as stock footage from his hit Britcom, Spaced. Which is also the expression Winona Ryder has on her face for the duration of the film. There are many action scenes with Chris Pine, filmed using wire-fu and looking a lot like The Matrix, but with even slower slow-mo.

 

[RoJoHen]

^That is so geeky it would probably be the best movie ever.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Two words: Shadow puppets.

 

[archeryguy1701]

Well, Sam, I must say your approach is possibly the most fool-proof way to disposse of any time travel that I've ever heard of! However, to really have a ball with the anti-time travel plots, they ought to have the entire original cast come play regular joes that have normal jobs during the day (they can CGI in Kelly and Doohan), but at night, they change into their alter egos: The Enterprise crew!!! (enter the newer, younger cast). Regular citzens of Earth during the day, intergalactic super heros by night! It'll be fun! It'll be unique! It'll be... well, rather cliche.

 

[Patrickivan]

Jack Bauer said:
Other. Kirk's mother and Spock's mother have wild lesbian sex for 2 hours.

YES!!! Now that's the Star Trek I REALLY want to see!!!

 

[Franklin]

Static shot. But ONLY if after 98 minutes it ends with the projector's light burning the frame. Call it the FX. It's a kewl look on screen, really.

 

[Evil_Kirkneivel]

I think a still frame is a great idea. It would drastically slash production costs, allowing all of the budget to be spent on assembling a blockbuster top-line cast. Just imagine...Cruise, Hanks, Di Caprio, Kidman...that one frame would be sensational. And like shakey-cam, you'd have other studios copy-catting and producing THEIR one-frame movies.

 

[ManOnTheWave]

No, it should be 120 minutes of Leonard Nimoy and Zachary Quinto in Vulcan make-up setting fire to Star Trek memorabilia.

All right, the lesbian sex idea was better.

 

[Baldus885]

T'Cal said:Here's a novel idea: Let's wait until we actually see the movie before we decide if its story is good or bad. Let's leave put our preconceived notions aside until the closing credits. I'm guessing Mr. Roddenberry would want it that way...

Your ideas are too radical and unconventional. Please leave the internet immediately.</sarcasm>

 

[aridas sofia]

i just want to see more half-black, half white guys. And girls. Two hours of them. Naked, so we can see if the line is straight or does it jog around their private parts.

:thumbsup: