The adventure begins again...
- Thread starter Magister
- Start date
Just because it's well-written (at least by internet standards!) does not make it LEGIT.
It's only feeling that way to some of you guys because (1) it is written using correct English (for once!), and (2) the story as presented is not total fannish crap (and doesn't seem to have much in the way of "slashiness" to it!)
COULD this be the plot of the film? Highly unlikely. Might this make for a good story (perhaps a novel set shortly after this film's ending?). Oh, yeah... very much so.
It's only feeling that way to some of you guys because (1) it is written using correct English (for once!), and (2) the story as presented is not total fannish crap (and doesn't seem to have much in the way of "slashiness" to it!)
COULD this be the plot of the film? Highly unlikely. Might this make for a good story (perhaps a novel set shortly after this film's ending?). Oh, yeah... very much so.
The whole bit about Kirk returning from the dead via the 26th century isn’t bad, but the rest of the plot strikes me as fairly pedestrian and better suited for a television episode than a feature film. The whole self-inflicted ecological disaster thing not only is reminiscent of a certain Voyager episode but also smacks of allegorical warnings against the evils of man-made global warming or some such. That particular plot element is getting to be as overused in Hollywood sci-fi as time travel.
In fact, my main problem with the whole plotline presented above is its general lack of originality. It’s the classic “buddy movie” scenario with two people who initially dislike each other forced together by circumstances until they overcome their differences and an unlikely bond of friendship and mutual respect is forged, right out of Screenwriters Workshop 101. Not that it isn’t plausible and even appropriate to these characters in many ways, but the way it’s presented here is just so… obvious.
The other thing that bothers me is the mysterious enemy and the way the whole conflict is resolved. An enemy that uses an ecological weapon to destabilize the Federation as a prelude to invasion is certainly plausible, but I don’t really see them mobilizing their whole fleet just to chase down Kirk and Spock, and I really don’t see them abandoning their whole invasion plan, taking their ball and going home when they fail to catch them. It’s horribly anti-climactic. If the Federation and enemy forces were to engage each other in a decisive battle at the end, I could almost buy it, but the Enterprise apparently never even fires a shot, just “stares the enemy down” until they turn tail and run. That sounds more like the ending of a middling TNG episode, not the climax of a Trek movie epic designed to resurrect the entire franchise.
This Magister fellow has been around for about a year with less than half a dozen posts. Each one has a certain ring of authenticity, an air of someone who knows things the rest of us don’t. Quite a few of the things he’s hinted at as far back as January have panned out, like the movie focusing on Kirk and Spock’s first adventure together or the title being simply “Star Trek,” but he wouldn’t be the only one to have guessed right about those things. It’s also tempting to draw a connection between his “frozen wilderness” reference and the location shooting they are supposedly planning in Iceland, but again, that’s something that anyone who’s been paying attention could have done.
I’ll admit it’s a very good try, but it falls way short of what I think of when I imagine the kind of story that Orci and Kurtzman et al have “always wanted to tell” about Star Trek and these characters.
In fact, my main problem with the whole plotline presented above is its general lack of originality. It’s the classic “buddy movie” scenario with two people who initially dislike each other forced together by circumstances until they overcome their differences and an unlikely bond of friendship and mutual respect is forged, right out of Screenwriters Workshop 101. Not that it isn’t plausible and even appropriate to these characters in many ways, but the way it’s presented here is just so… obvious.
The other thing that bothers me is the mysterious enemy and the way the whole conflict is resolved. An enemy that uses an ecological weapon to destabilize the Federation as a prelude to invasion is certainly plausible, but I don’t really see them mobilizing their whole fleet just to chase down Kirk and Spock, and I really don’t see them abandoning their whole invasion plan, taking their ball and going home when they fail to catch them. It’s horribly anti-climactic. If the Federation and enemy forces were to engage each other in a decisive battle at the end, I could almost buy it, but the Enterprise apparently never even fires a shot, just “stares the enemy down” until they turn tail and run. That sounds more like the ending of a middling TNG episode, not the climax of a Trek movie epic designed to resurrect the entire franchise.
This Magister fellow has been around for about a year with less than half a dozen posts. Each one has a certain ring of authenticity, an air of someone who knows things the rest of us don’t. Quite a few of the things he’s hinted at as far back as January have panned out, like the movie focusing on Kirk and Spock’s first adventure together or the title being simply “Star Trek,” but he wouldn’t be the only one to have guessed right about those things. It’s also tempting to draw a connection between his “frozen wilderness” reference and the location shooting they are supposedly planning in Iceland, but again, that’s something that anyone who’s been paying attention could have done.
I’ll admit it’s a very good try, but it falls way short of what I think of when I imagine the kind of story that Orci and Kurtzman et al have “always wanted to tell” about Star Trek and these characters.
Who's to say the dying Spock isn't hallucinating the whole scene with Kirk and the hypo?
I'd like that better than it being a real encounter with Kirk from the 26th century (again with the time travel!). Seems very contrived.
Unless the audience knows quite a bit of Trek background, the bit with Kirk isn't going to make much sense, either.
It strikes me as a valentine to fans, and not totally necessary for the story. A bit fanish. The relationship between Kirk and Spock could be told in other flashbacks.
Also, as described, the scene between dying Spock and Kirk is derivative of the one between Kirk and Picard in the Nexus.
The the story sounds quite pedestrian. Nothing new, here. An ecological disaster starts the action(TUC). The baddie having (or coveting) a planet-altering weapon (TWOK, TSFS). Kirk saving a "dead" Spock (TSFS). Taking someone from the past who's needed to help in the future (GEN). The eventual invasion of the Federation as a premise for the baddie's actions (NEM).
Sorry, not too impressed, really. I would hope for something a little higher concept.
Now, if it's crucial 26th century Kirk needs the dying 24th century Spock to go back with him to help 23rd century Kirk and Spock, well -- .
I'd like that better than it being a real encounter with Kirk from the 26th century (again with the time travel!). Seems very contrived.
Unless the audience knows quite a bit of Trek background, the bit with Kirk isn't going to make much sense, either.
It strikes me as a valentine to fans, and not totally necessary for the story. A bit fanish. The relationship between Kirk and Spock could be told in other flashbacks.
Also, as described, the scene between dying Spock and Kirk is derivative of the one between Kirk and Picard in the Nexus.
The the story sounds quite pedestrian. Nothing new, here. An ecological disaster starts the action(TUC). The baddie having (or coveting) a planet-altering weapon (TWOK, TSFS). Kirk saving a "dead" Spock (TSFS). Taking someone from the past who's needed to help in the future (GEN). The eventual invasion of the Federation as a premise for the baddie's actions (NEM).
Sorry, not too impressed, really. I would hope for something a little higher concept.
Now, if it's crucial 26th century Kirk needs the dying 24th century Spock to go back with him to help 23rd century Kirk and Spock, well -- .
I'm drawing a blank. Which Voyager episode?
Which reinforces a thread that I started up in the General Trek Section that no one would join in and discuss. Basically I maintain that ALL possible stories and plots since civilization started to record creative writing have already been told, over and over again to be frank, and there are no new stories to tell. Everything will always be a retelling of a story or plot device that was told before.
Man!
I just wish some people around here would get over their 'Ever-lovin / I-can-do-Trek-better-then-that / Holier-then-thou-selves'.
Stop being so gosh-darned nit-picky!
Granted, in it's present form (several paragraphs giving a very basic outline) it's kinda lacking, but try to imagine it interwoven into a grander scale on the movie screen.
Let's at least TRY to keep an open mind.
So much negativity around here. jeepers....
I don't have any clue as to whether or not this is a real outline, but personally, it sounds like a great tale to me.
If something like this plays out on December 25th, 2008 at my local movie theater, I for one will not be disappointed to fork out my hard earned $10 bucks. (several times that most likely)
I just wish some people around here would get over their 'Ever-lovin / I-can-do-Trek-better-then-that / Holier-then-thou-selves'.
Stop being so gosh-darned nit-picky!
Granted, in it's present form (several paragraphs giving a very basic outline) it's kinda lacking, but try to imagine it interwoven into a grander scale on the movie screen.
Let's at least TRY to keep an open mind.
So much negativity around here. jeepers....
I don't have any clue as to whether or not this is a real outline, but personally, it sounds like a great tale to me.
If something like this plays out on December 25th, 2008 at my local movie theater, I for one will not be disappointed to fork out my hard earned $10 bucks. (several times that most likely)
Maybe I'm missing something here, but how exactly does Kirk from the 26th Century make any sense?
BTW: That was a very interesting read! :thumbsup:
BTW: That was a very interesting read! :thumbsup:
I'm thinking that it's one of those movie moments that the viewer has to decide for him/her self as to what the scene implies.
It's a nod to Trek fans...KIRK"S ALIVE...IN THE FUTURE...
...now, go figure it out for yourselves.
He pops back to save Spock from the same horrible fate that befell Sarek.
It's not much, but it's certainly very meaningful in the overall history of the Trek universe/time line and it gives the Fans something to chew on for the rest of their Trek lives. LoL
To me it's just setting up some continuity bitching again and how Abrams doesn't give a shit for the fans etc. It'll be seen as a plot hole and not mystery to chew on. For a lot of people anyways.
Not sure. The desert scene is quite touching, but yet another alien enemy with some kind of new weapon ... that reaks of GEN, INS and NEM.
Still waiting for something high-concept, like TMP, or to some extent, TVH, was. If you are going to do the new-weapon-thing, at least meak it somehow resonant, like in TWOK, were it was the Federation itself that developed the thing. But not again something some alien enemy uses.
Still waiting for something high-concept, like TMP, or to some extent, TVH, was. If you are going to do the new-weapon-thing, at least meak it somehow resonant, like in TWOK, were it was the Federation itself that developed the thing. But not again something some alien enemy uses.
Very engaging, Magister, but dump the Kirk stuff and the 26th century stuff and let Spock die. Spock fading, fading, the burgeoning friendship between he and young Kirk his final thought...
Still, it sounded quite plausible. If this turns out to be the movie, I'm going to hunt you down and tattoo spoiler code on your backside with a phaser.
Still, it sounded quite plausible. If this turns out to be the movie, I'm going to hunt you down and tattoo spoiler code on your backside with a phaser.
I have to say that I'm in the group that dug the story...there are elements that seem a bit fan boyish but hey even hollywood writers can take some liberities! I actually enjoyed this alot. It needs some work but I could see this being made into a movie...without the twist of Kirk coming from the future.
Admiral Young
Admiral Young
What if, as Spock is heading into the desert and the hullucinations begin, he sees a figure in the distance coming toward him. Then the flashback stuff. Maybe, in the middle, a couple flash"forwards" to the present to see that the figure is getting closer.
At the end, you could maybe take out the future stuff, but still keep in Kirk as the figure in the distance, showing up to help Spock at the end. Maybe not with a hypo and a future uniform, but with an arm to lean on as he continues his walk into the desert. This leaves it up to the viewer to decide if Spock is hallucinating, or if it was real. But making it clear that Spock was at ease and walking to his "last moments" with dignity.
Just my 2¢.
Great work, Magister!
At the end, you could maybe take out the future stuff, but still keep in Kirk as the figure in the distance, showing up to help Spock at the end. Maybe not with a hypo and a future uniform, but with an arm to lean on as he continues his walk into the desert. This leaves it up to the viewer to decide if Spock is hallucinating, or if it was real. But making it clear that Spock was at ease and walking to his "last moments" with dignity.
Just my 2¢.
Great work, Magister!
The idea of a bunch of family and dignitaries just standing around watching Spock walk off into the desert to die doesn't sit well with me for some reason.
A take on the Eskimo legend of setting an elderly person adrift on an ice floe to die.
Then again, in "Death Wish", Tuvok did say that some infirm Vulcans do practice ritualistic suicide.
A take on the Eskimo legend of setting an elderly person adrift on an ice floe to die.
Then again, in "Death Wish", Tuvok did say that some infirm Vulcans do practice ritualistic suicide.
I love this synopsis. 
Oh darn, now I gotta read the Shatnerverse again. Especially the 2 TOS novels.
Oh darn, now I gotta read the Shatnerverse again. Especially the 2 TOS novels.
Holytomato said:
I love this synopsis.
Oh darn, now I gotta read the Shatnerverse again. Especially the 2 TOS novels.
2?
What, besides The Ashes of Eden, was TOS?
RookieBatman said:
Holytomato said:
I love this synopsis.
Oh darn, now I gotta read the Shatnerverse again. Especially the 2 TOS novels.
2?
Maybe he's counting the upcoming "Academy" trilogy.
Or he is referring to "Captain's Peril" where the B-Story was a flashback to Kirk and Spock's early days on the Enterprise.
She, I was referring to the Shatnerverse's Ashes to Eden, Captain's Peril, and Academy novels.
Oh wow, how could I forget Enterprise: The First Adventure,
Strangers From the Sky, Best Destiny, Shadows on the Sun, Vulcan's Forge, My Brother's Keeper, The Kobayshi Maru, the starfleet academy TOS novels, Star Trek II Biographies, Star Trek II Short Stories, Star Trek III Short Stories, The Entropy Effect, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier; DC's Kirk trilogy, and Scotty 's love story? :thumbsup:
Oh wow, how could I forget Enterprise: The First Adventure,
Strangers From the Sky, Best Destiny, Shadows on the Sun, Vulcan's Forge, My Brother's Keeper, The Kobayshi Maru, the starfleet academy TOS novels, Star Trek II Biographies, Star Trek II Short Stories, Star Trek III Short Stories, The Entropy Effect, Star Trek V: The Final Frontier; DC's Kirk trilogy, and Scotty 's love story? :thumbsup:
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