Ten things you'll never hear a football fan say

[ToddPence]

"The ref made a really good call on that pass interference penalty against us."

"I wish those other guys in the booth would shut up and let Theismann talk."


"Our quarterback is a little bit off today, but that's no reason to put in our rookie phenom backup."


"It's fourth and one? Punt it! PUNT IT!"


"I wouldn't have called that play, but I'm sure our coach knows more about running an offense than I do."


"They really ought to give the replay officials more time to make the call."


"All right! I got Kyle Boller for my fantasy team!"


"That's okay. My grandmother couldn't have made that tackle either."


"Our team just missed what would have been the winning field goal, but that's no reason to get upset. It's only a game."


"I hope this game doesn't go into overtime. There's a new movie on Lifetime tonight."​

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"I love Candlestick Park. I hope they never replace it."

 

[Aragorn]

Years ago on an internet forum known as TrekBBS, someone said chess was as violent as football. Anyone care to wager that wasn't a football fan?

The real reason Bobby Fischer went into hiding was because of the concussion he received from the blindside bishop to rook 4.

 

[archeryguy1701]

What's sad is how true those all are!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Bring back the XFL!"

 

[Captain Ice]

"Please welcome the Super Bowl Champion Arizona Cardinals"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Those multipurpose stadiums are really nice. Especially RFK Stadium."

 

[1001001]

"I'd like to see us run the Prevent Defense more often."

 

[Alidar Jarok]

"Bring back the XFL!"

The XFL was worth it just to hear the announcer shout

THIS IS THE EX EFFF EEEEAAAAHHLLLLLGGGGGHHHH

 

[tomalak301]

"Al Davis is the best owner ever and should be modeled after by all teams."

 

[backstept]

"Bring back the XFL!"

The XFL was worth it just to hear the announcer shout

THIS IS THE EX EFFF EEEEAAAAHHLLLLLGGGGGHHHH

are you making fun of VINCE MCMAHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGNgurgleAAHHphlegm?

 

[Aragorn]

"Isn't Drew Rosenhaus just the best agent in all of football?"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"Kevin Cosgrove was the best defensive coordinator the Huskers ever had."

 

[archeryguy1701]

"Brett Farve is receiving way too much flak over this past off-season and pre-season. He's just a guy trying to make a living!"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"I love it when NU plays Colorado. Colorado fans treat us so well over there."

 

[nevermore]

"All right! I got Kyle Boller for my fantasy team!"
​

 

[Commander Vaughn]

"I love it when NU plays Colorado. Colorado fans treat us so well over there."

Or in the same vein...

"I really wish I could hear more about Brett Favre's situation..."

 

[Captain Ice]

"John Elway, Roger Staubach, Joe Montana, Joe Namath, and Johnny Unitas are the absolute worst quaterbacks who ever played. They should be ashamed to hear their names mentioned in the same breath as that all time great Jake Plummer."

 

[Aragorn]

After listening to sports talk radio, I'm convinced there are plenty of stupid football fans who would say something like this.

In fact, during the postgame show of a game where a defender on the home team recovered a fumble and returned it for a touchdown, someone called in and said he thought it was illegal for defensive players to score. One of the hosts asked him if he ever saw players return interceptions for touchdowns... and he said yes.

 

[Starbreaker]

Go Cardinals!!