Ten Forward Lounge - Miscellaneous General Chat & Welcome Thread

[rhubarbodendron]

Welcome back, @Bluenova
Sexing living tarantulas is difficult as they tend to wriggle. Do you have an exuvia, an empty skin from your tarantula's last growing phase? Then look between the hind legs on the belly side: if there is a flat and rather hairless spot, about semi-circular, it's a male. In large adults you can often see the bulbi - penis-like structures on the ends of their feelers. Those are usually worn folded up like a pocket knife, so that they are difficult to see. With almost all south american species the males have an additional claw or thorn-like structure on their shins.
If area between the hind legs is hairy and slightly raised (not flat) and if you can see a furrow in it (only in adult spiders) it's a female.

@think while I wouldn't go so far as to eat one of my partners, there are men I'd have appreciated to die after sex. Or before, rather, in at least one case...
Most spiders males over here get away. Being eaten is more an exception than a rule for European spiders. Nature always follows the principle "waste not, want not" and thus reuses perfectly good males. Makes sense in a genetical way, too: a wider mixture and more new combinations improve the genetic stability of a population and increase the chance for new and successful variations.

 

[Mrs. Silvercrest]

Would anyone like to share what it was like to meet their in-laws for the first time? Funny stories, odd, not so good?

 

[KimMH]

My in-laws treated me like family from the first day and have been wonderful for three decades. My family took a while to ken onto my husband because they are standoffish. Now they call each other to complain that I’m impossible and crazy. They’re not wrong lol.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

LOL, a it of craziness can't harm and makes life a good deal more bearable.
My sister in law is still terribly shy, after almost 8 years. I find it very difficult to get any sort of contact to her. Part of the problem is the age difference: I could easily be her mother.
My family is very standoffish as well, particularly my mom. That makes it difficult for anyone to get integrated.

 

[KimMH]

My mum is tough as well, but once she likes you she LOVES you. It just takes time. *sighs*

 

[rhubarbodendron]

my mom used to hate an ex-BF of mine. One day when I came home from school, to my bewilderment I found the both of them in the kitchen, cooking and laughing together. Turned out they had the radio running and when they played a particularly idiotic song, both simultaneousely grunted "god, not that stupid song again". That broke the ice

 

[KimMH]

Hilarious and great!

 

[Mrs. Silvercrest]

Thank you for the replys.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

You're welcome
I've never been married so I don't exactly have in-laws but I've met my first BF's mom and was very pleasantly surprised. My own mom comes from a noble family and was raised to keep a stiff upper lip to such a degree that she does seem to be (or propably is - I am not certain) very cold and heartless. She abhors being touched and so I never got a hug or a kiss from her, or even a cuddle.
My first BF's mom is the complete opposite: she is "only" a charwoman, open, gentle, emotional and everything you wish a mother to be. A wonderful woman who immediately accepted me. What I like most about her is that she's not the klinging sort but leaves her children (and me) as much space as they need but is always there to catch them if they fall. Awesome woman who at the tender age of 65 learned how to drive a car and made the exam at the very first try =)

 

[PSGarak]

It was well before I knew they'd be in-laws. It was the first "meet the parents" moment. They invited me to come decorate their Christmas tree with all of them. My spouse has a huge family, and I'm an only, so I was kind of deer in headlights overwhelmed and went outside to take a moment. Started petting this super friendly black cat, only to have my future mother-in-law scream behind me something I didn't catch on the first go. The cat ran away like it was on fire. She repeated what she had screamed in a more reasonable tone. "Oh, my god, the feral let you pet him." It was the only time I ever got to pet him. I guess he associated me with that shriek-y scream, but it got me on my MIL's good side right out of the gate.

 

[KimMH]

 

[rhubarbodendron]

LOL that's awesome Maybe you simply took the cat by surprise

 

[PSGarak]

Haha, maybe! I had no idea the cat was a feral. He waddled right up and started rubbing and purring in a decidedly not feral way. I had already been told they had two black cats. I thought he was one of them. Nope, there were two more. They just weren't around that night.

 

[rhubarbodendron]

in my experience cats are rather spontaneous creatures and almost impossible to predict. With one exception: they'll always snuggle up to the person with a fear of cats or a cat-allergy

 

[PSGarak]

in my experience cats are rather spontaneous creatures and almost impossible to predict. With one exception: they'll always snuggle up to the person with a fear of cats or a cat-allergy

It's funny, but there's actually a body language reason for this. People who love cats and are interested in them tend to make eye contact and square their bodies directly facing them. In cat language, this is seen as aggressive and off-putting, especially from strangers. While people who don't like them or want to avoid them will only make glancing eye contact and turn their bodies somewhat to the side. In cat language, that's a direct invitation. "Hey, come get to know me!"

 

[rhubarbodendron]

I see. I grew up with dogs so I avoid eye contact but I make the mistake to face and approach cats as would be correct etiquette between dogs. Thanks for the tip!

 

[PSGarak]

My pleasure. I grew up with both. My biggest issue is when people ask, "Are you a cat or a dog person?"

"Yes!"

 

[rhubarbodendron]

I'm a dog, rat and hamster person As my parents always had cat-hating dogs I never got the chance to get acquainted with cats. But my current neighbour's cats have decided to glose that gap in my education.

 

[PSGarak]

I adore rats. We had them for many years. The short lifespan really started taking its toll, though. When you get as attached to an animal as you do your dog or cat, and it dies within 2-3 years at the most, it's rough. Now multiply that by several at a time going within a week or two of each other because they were all the same age, yeah. We had to stop keeping them. Might go back to them one day, though. They have so much personality.

Neighbor cats are great at that. hehe

 

[rhubarbodendron]

I love rats =) Unfortunately, at my current apartment there is a ventilation system in the vicinity that creates an unpleasant deep hammering noise which would drive every rodent mad. But when I get pensioned off in 10 years I'll get myself a few ratties again They are such adorable creatures and natural born jesters. Nobody can be drepressive when having a few rats.