MollyRoger
Lieutenant Junior Grade
1. I'm seriously into pirates
2. I live on a boat
3. I have no concept of "future" in terms of my own life
2. I live on a boat
3. I have no concept of "future" in terms of my own life
Tell Me Three Things About Yourself
- Thread starter Kestra
- Start date
Actually, not much. Just an overwhelming feeling that I didn't like it, and the memory of thinking "This sucks".
Sure seems like it. That is, I pretty much came back on my own. From what I hear, the EMTs had pretty much given up on trying to revive me, when I suddenly spontaneously started up again on my own.
Thereafter, it gets a bit wacky, as I remained comatose for about 6 weeks, wherein I had a seemingly endless dream, where I could NOT fly, or anything else remotely dream-like.
It felt real, and followed most of the same rules as the real world. Well most, but not necessarily all.
Think in terms of a universe like the one in the book "The Talisman" by Stephen King and Peter Straub, with other worlds/planes of existence, and a means of traveling between them that is known only to a select few.
I was NOT one of these select few, but fell in with a group of people who were, and who took me into their confidence in a case of mistaken identity. Of course, they eventually discovered that I wasn't who they'd assumed I was, and it was then that things got real unpleasant.
And that must have been very near the beginning of my coma-dream, because the aforementioned unpleasantness went on for an awfully long time.
Horrible to experience firsthand, but in retrospect, what I dreamt was a real adventure, which I am currently trying to put into book form. The major hold-up is forcing myself to remember what I experienced in this alternative/dream world, as a lot of it was pretty damn traumatic, and dwelling on it for too long can bring on some pretty nasty anxiety attacks.
I was like that for a time in my life. I was pretty young: around 18-20 I think. I wasn't depressed or anything: I was happy! I just could not see myself in 10 years. I still worked my ass off in college because I wanted to do that, and because I loved it. But I was completely future-blind.
Corny as it sounds, what changed my mind was love. We have been together for 12 years, and I just can see us hitting old age together, nerdy as always.
Three mo':
1. I lived in Alaska for 4 years.
2. I've been programming computers since I was 8.
3. I have Tourette's Syndrome but most people can't tell.
1. I lived in Alaska for 4 years.
2. I've been programming computers since I was 8.
3. I have Tourette's Syndrome but most people can't tell.
MollyRoger
Lieutenant Junior Grade
hmmm... I'm glad you found that
I really don't expect it for myself.
Both my parents died when I was 16. I've had a couple of years to adjust and it's been a bumpy ride. Many will say I have not adjusted at all.
I'm a very happy person now, but I'm also very fatalistic. I don't believe in happy endings.
When my parents knew the end was coming they made sure I would be taken care of. I will never have to go to school or work for the rest of my life.
I live on a boat by myself and cruise the ICW, occassionally making the trek to the Bahamas. I fully expect that one day I will not make it back.
Until then, i just enjoy life as much as I can.
I won't say I know what you're going through, because I really don't. I'd agree that it doesn't sound like you've really gotten over anything. Not that losing your parents is really something to "get over," either. It'll always affect you in some way, I'm sure.
You do seem to have a fairly negative outlook, though. Is that because of what happened to your parents or have you always felt that way?
Is there anything you want to do with your life, or do you intend to just drift through it until it's over?
It wasn't mean as a cautionary tale. I was just sharing my experience of something similar. And I didn't expected that for myself, too.
In the immortal words of Mackenzie Calhoun: sounds like a plan.
I've never spoken to someone who has come back from death.
Have you spoken with anyone else who has? Is your experience unusual to your knowledge?
You are either pulling my leg or blowing my mind - I'm not sure which. If you're having me on I don't mind - there are al kinds of caveats to be aware of regarding teh interwebs.
If this really happened to you I really am interested in hearing more. I spent a lot of my life thinking I knew what is on the other side but the only thing I realized I really know is that what I don't know dwarves all I could ever hope to know. The Metaphysical aspect of life seems so much richer and fuller and terrifying than we know. Maybe we are kept in ignorance of that for a reason - no one would willingly go even though we don't get a choice in the matter.
Do you need a buddy to sail away with you? I've got a lot in my life I'd love to escape from, and two cute chicks on a boat are always better than one.
Three more fact about me, a little less fluffy:
1) I have a type of bipolar disorder that manifests as chronic depression until you attempt to medicate it, at which point it shifts into irritable mania (hallucinations, hoarding, panic attacks, migraines, cardiac troubles, compulsions toward self-harm, insomnia, etc) that can only be escaped with...more medication. In short, the only thing worse than the lows are the harrowing and extremely destructive "highs". I was in an unbroken state of irritable mania from the ages of 18 to 23, when I finally found a med combination that pulled me out of it. The psychiatrist who literally saved me called this bipolar-3, and the ailment is supposed to be published in the next DSM.
Confession time: I am very jealous of bipolar people who have more classic symptoms and experience pleasurable mania. I've never been so lucky. I have lapsed back into a major depression in the past year due to some very bad things that happened to me, but am afraid to seek medical help for it, in fear of waking this hibernating monster once more.
2) I am as directionless in life now as I have ever been. I would love to return to school, but have no idea what to study or what to be when I grow up (I'm 27). I hold a bachelor's degree, yet feel woefully undereducated and certainly unfulfilled in my working life. A lot of my friends are experiencing personal and career success now, yet I still feel stubbornly stuck in neutral.
3) I certainly hope I come across as more interesting and less of a butt-hurt whiner IRL than I do here
1) I have a type of bipolar disorder that manifests as chronic depression until you attempt to medicate it, at which point it shifts into irritable mania (hallucinations, hoarding, panic attacks, migraines, cardiac troubles, compulsions toward self-harm, insomnia, etc) that can only be escaped with...more medication. In short, the only thing worse than the lows are the harrowing and extremely destructive "highs". I was in an unbroken state of irritable mania from the ages of 18 to 23, when I finally found a med combination that pulled me out of it. The psychiatrist who literally saved me called this bipolar-3, and the ailment is supposed to be published in the next DSM.
Confession time: I am very jealous of bipolar people who have more classic symptoms and experience pleasurable mania. I've never been so lucky. I have lapsed back into a major depression in the past year due to some very bad things that happened to me, but am afraid to seek medical help for it, in fear of waking this hibernating monster once more.
2) I am as directionless in life now as I have ever been. I would love to return to school, but have no idea what to study or what to be when I grow up (I'm 27). I hold a bachelor's degree, yet feel woefully undereducated and certainly unfulfilled in my working life. A lot of my friends are experiencing personal and career success now, yet I still feel stubbornly stuck in neutral.
3) I certainly hope I come across as more interesting and less of a butt-hurt whiner IRL than I do here
^ From what I know of you, Bears, you have never been a whiner of any kind.
1. I grew up in a rural, agrarian-based, mostly Catholic community in another country and have fond memories of living there and was fortunate to have come from a well-to-do but not rich family. The experiences and the culture helped shaped my views as an adult (which goes without saying).
2. I love to dance at a local nightclub and just enjoy and have a great time. Pity, I don't get to do it very often, only a few times a year.
3. I enjoy watching Daniel Tosh's show on Comedy Central. I'm thinking, this guy is cute; I'd love to
2. I love to dance at a local nightclub and just enjoy and have a great time. Pity, I don't get to do it very often, only a few times a year.
3. I enjoy watching Daniel Tosh's show on Comedy Central. I'm thinking, this guy is cute; I'd love to
I have had my own experience--at least I THINK that's what it was. There will never be any way to know considering it was really more a vision than anything, and I wasn't hooked up to any equipment to see what was happening to my body at the time.
That said, in my case I saw a white light almost burn through what I was seeing in this vision, and at the same time...I have never experienced the sort of absolute joy and lack of doubt that I did in that moment, in the normal, waking life. I woke with a start at just the moment I believe I would have crossed over into the afterlife...and in my case coming back was the awful shock. I have never, NEVER been that disoriented upon waking, not to mention the effect of the fear and shock after having NO such emotions whatsoever for once in my life...very difficult. And even to feel that what was around me in waking was real--that took time.
It took me time, but I have recovered from my experience and it has strengthened me in my faith and in my desire to live this life as well as the next...I trust that I will go back when it is my time, and I don't have to worry about that.
A week isn't that long!
No problem. I just wanted to try to keep this thread kind of drama-free and more about getting to know each other and getting along. Then again, I'm not a mod and I know I tend to scold people a bit too much, so I hope I didn't offend!
Agreed completely. I'm on medication for both depression and anxiety, and it has done wonders for me. That being said, therapy has helped me in ways that I do not believe medication ever could.
Is that an exceptionally good lie?
Of course not.
Any particular form of art that you enjoy? I enjoy drawing and a few other things myself, though I don't pretend to be good at it either!
These two are totally me as well. I have actually had to try to convince people that I'm a Trekkie, but it's not something I share very often in RL.
I'm sorry to hear it has been so difficult for you, Bears. I don't know what it's like at all, but perhaps the psychiatrist who first helped you could help you now, since you have a history together. For what it's worth, you don't come across as a whiner and you're definitely interesting. I hope things improve for you.
I guess people are throwing out more, so here's some more from me:
1) On the subject of death, I almost died when I was 6 during a tonsillectomy. They accidentally nicked an artery in my neck and didn't realize; the nurse on duty when I was in recovery wouldn't believe that anything was wrong and my dad had to scream at her to get her to bring a doctor in to look at me, who subsequently rushed me back into surgery. I then almost fell into a coma due to significant internal bleeding and a lack of available blood for a transfusion at the time (apparently they had just discovered their supply had been contaminated or something). I don't remember any of this beyond the stories my parents have told me.
2) I've generally sort of bounced between things in life without any real set direction or plan until about 5 years ago when all of a sudden I knew exactly what it was I wanted to do and set out to make it happen in pretty short order. It's been pretty awesome. But I'm starting to worry that it's just temporary.
3) I've been out of school for 6+ years now and I still have dreams that I forgot to go to all the lectures in a class and I have the final tomorrow.
1) On the subject of death, I almost died when I was 6 during a tonsillectomy. They accidentally nicked an artery in my neck and didn't realize; the nurse on duty when I was in recovery wouldn't believe that anything was wrong and my dad had to scream at her to get her to bring a doctor in to look at me, who subsequently rushed me back into surgery. I then almost fell into a coma due to significant internal bleeding and a lack of available blood for a transfusion at the time (apparently they had just discovered their supply had been contaminated or something). I don't remember any of this beyond the stories my parents have told me.
2) I've generally sort of bounced between things in life without any real set direction or plan until about 5 years ago when all of a sudden I knew exactly what it was I wanted to do and set out to make it happen in pretty short order. It's been pretty awesome. But I'm starting to worry that it's just temporary.
3) I've been out of school for 6+ years now and I still have dreams that I forgot to go to all the lectures in a class and I have the final tomorrow.
Do you need a buddy to sail away with you? I've got a lot in my life I'd love to escape from, and two cute chicks on a boat are always better than one.
He, he, my idea exactly.
Sao Paulo, SP.
Eu morei 2 anos em Sao Paulo e 3 em Sorocaba.
1. I didn't like Casablanca
2. I hate Abba with a passion
3. I still cry when I watch the last unicorn
I think every college graduate has those. I wonder why? I mean why do we so often and so specifically have that dream as our "oh my god I failed" dream. I don't dream about getting fired, but I always dream I am not going to graduate.
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