Tell me all your problems...

[trekkiedane]

I no longer have any worries about what had been worrying me for the last year and a bit. Should I be worried about this disturbing change of behaviour?

Definitely. You are nothing without your pain. I suggest you start using razor blades to cut your forearms in order to restore meaning to your world. No need to send me money as thanks; just carve my name into your arms instead.

Oh, I have other pains. I have given names to my pains, many of which are TrekBBS-registered usernames.

So... which mod is now actually a pain in the arse?

 

[RJDiogenes]

Answer carefully.

 

[Holdfast]

Dear Holdfast, I think I`m falling in love with you. I`ve read this thread and decided I want your baby. However as a male I`m worried I might not be able to have babies... What should we do?

I don't know about you, but I'm calling in an airstrike on your position.

I have enough stalkers already. Do you know what my legal bill is like? Fuck, even my lawyer is developing a crush on me.

Dear Dr. Holdfast, I have a teenager and 2 preteens. Murder is illegal in my country, and the buggers keep breaking out of the underground bunker. Suggestions?

Vote Liberal Democrat in this year's X-Factor on May 6th. I'm given to understand that since appearing on TV, Nick Clegg has acquired the ability to solve all problems with that twinkle in his eye. If he becomes Prime Minister, there will be a TV channel set up in every household tuned permanently to a looping video of him smiling at the camera. All you then have to do is seat the children in front of the TV and they'll be hypnotised happily for years to come.

You'll then be able to indulge in all your adult desires freely, and without interruption from the kids. Just make sure you pick a good safety word.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

When the policeman returns, offer him sexual favours with Ms Liu and all should be well. If, by chance, he is a homosexual, offer yourself instead.

I'm afraid I am too jealous of Ms. Liu's affections to offer her to another man. And as for offering myself, I was unfortunately born with a natural aversion to homosexual activity. (Well, except for the occasional Thai ladyboy. Are they just too cute for words or what?! )

 

[Udat]

So no babies then?

 

[selina]

I'm invited to a birthday-party and don't won't to go. First, I've got a zillion things to do and have no time for a party. Second, if I had time I'd rather watch a DVD or read a good book. Any advice?

 

[Zulu Romeo]

I'm invited to a birthday-party and don't won't to go. First, I've got a zillion things to do and have no time for a party. Second, if I had time I'd rather watch a DVD or read a good book. Any advice?

A few ideas here perhaps....

http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=119074

 

[T'Baio]

With apologies to Monty Python, I'm embarrassed by these words;

Wankle Rotary Engine

What should I do?

And "wankle" reminds me of "wanker." Are all Brits wankers?

 

[Zulu Romeo]

With apologies to Monty Python, I'm embarrassed by these words;

Wankle Rotary Engine

Ah yes, the dreaded word "rotary" - conjuring up thoughts of spit roasts and animated butcher's shop windows....

 

[Mary Ann]

Dear Dr. Holdfast, I have a teenager and 2 preteens. Murder is illegal in my country, and the buggers keep breaking out of the underground bunker. Suggestions?

Vote Liberal Democrat in this year's X-Factor on May 6th. I'm given to understand that since appearing on TV, Nick Clegg has acquired the ability to solve all problems with that twinkle in his eye. If he becomes Prime Minister, there will be a TV channel set up in every household tuned permanently to a looping video of him smiling at the camera. All you then have to do is seat the children in front of the TV and they'll be hypnotised happily for years to come.

You'll then be able to indulge in all your adult desires freely, and without interruption from the kids. Just make sure you pick a good safety word.[/QUOTE]

Shame that I'm a bloody foreigner, and can't vote in the upcoming elections. Besides, my constituency doesn't have a Monster Raving Loony Party candidate, so what's the point? However I may add a few extra links to my husband's shackles so he can drag himself to the polling station and vote for Clegg. It'll be good for hubby as it's been a while since he's seen daylight.

 

[Tyjos Azari]

eh pay this no mind...removed my own emoing....

 

[Gryffindorian]

Holdfast wrote:

Drone36929 wrote:
Do you plan on doing any more of those "Confession" threads in the future?

No. I got bored because none of you were interesting enough to keep me amused. Tales of unrequited love and the associated furious masturbation only go so far.

Oh, darn.