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Tell a TOS Story, a Little at a Time.

Argus Skyhawk

Commodore
Commodore
I have been enjoying the Group-Written TNG Story Thread, so I decided to start a TOS story here. Every person who would like to contribute to the story is welcome to do so. Here goes:

***

As Sulu brought the Enterprise into orbit around Veros 3, Uhura turned to Kirk and said, "Captain, we are being hailed by the planet's Prime Minister. He says insists that we leave this world immediately."
 
Spock turned from his scanner in haste, "Captain, some kind of energy surge is emanating from the planet, directed at us!"
 
Shields were immediately ordered by Captain Kirk.

"DEFLECTORS! Full IntenSITY!" shouted Spock as he relayed the order to all decks.
 
The energy surge struck the Enterprise, rocking the bridge and causing officers to fall out of their chairs.

“That hit drained our shields by 82.4 percent,” reported Spock. “We cannot survive another hit.”

“Mr. Sulu,” Kirk said, “take us to a position on the far side of the Velos moon. We”ll be safe there from any energy surges emanating from the planet.”

“Aye, sir,” responded Sulu, and he complied.

“Mr. Spock,” Kirk asked, “What was that energy surge?”

Spock answered, if you can call this an answer, “Unknown. It is unlike anything ever recorded.”

That’s a drink! thought captrek, and downed a shot of Wild Turkey.

Kirk: “I want some answers. And those answers are on the planet’s surface. The landing party will consist of myself, Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, Lt. Maddock, and Ensign Daniels. Mr. Scott, get to work restoring the shields. Mr. Sulu, you’ll have the bridge. Your first priority is the safety of the Enterprise.”
 
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Sulu: "Aye, Captain." Sulu looks down at panel of flashing red lights, indicating the trauma Enterprise has undergone, as music cues dramatically and screen fades to black.

Theme music,....
Kirk: "Space: the final frontier. *WHOOSH!* These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. It's five year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before!"

*WHOOSH!*

STAR TREK
created by Gene Roddenberry

*WHOOSH!*
Starring William Shatner

*WHOOSH!*
Also Starring Leonard Nimoy as Mr. Spock

*WHOOSH!*
And DeForest Kelley as Dr. McCoy

*Theme music concludes*
 
TIMEOUT
Heh heh. Nice, Gorn. I like it. ;)
TIMEIN

(Exterior shot of shuttlecraft. Voice over.)

Captain’s Log, stardate 6780.1. The Enterprise has come to Veros 3 in response to an invitation apparently from the Verosian Prime Minister, but upon our arrival, the Minister demanded our immediate departure and the Enterprise came under attack. Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, myself, and two redshirts who will likely be dead soon are in a shuttle en route to the Verosian capital to investigate.

Does he have to say that with us sitting right here? thought Maddox. No wonder so many junior officers call him Captain Jerk.
 
TIMEOUT

We haven't discussed the “rules” for these collaborative stories, so I think we should clarify what we're trying to accomplish so we don't start working at cross purposes and getting upset at each other.

In particular, I want to talk about the silliness. I think that explicitly acknowledging clichés, breaking the fourth wall, and other silliness is fun and should be encouraged, but it shouldn't control the story.

For example, in the TNG story, I had Worf decapitating two opponents and thinking to himself that he loves TrekBBS because he can’t decapitate his opponents on TV. That’s all in good fun. But if Worf and Data decide the best way out of their predicament is to control events by logging onto TrekBBS and posting in the story thread, that’s not good.

Similarly, in this thread I’ve had fun with the redshirt cliché and the tradition of the Captain’s Log voiceover narrated from a perspective of a time and place where the log couldn’t possibly be recorded. That's cool, I think. But if a plot point turns on Maddox overhearing the log entry or on Kirk knowing that Maddox and Daniels are doomed because of the color of their shirts, that’s not cool.

Are we all on the same page here, or are there objections to this approach?

TIMEIN
 
Agreed, captrek. :)

...Upon arrival at the Verosian capital they were greeted by a delicate young woman, her skin some sort of bluish luster that was being reflected in her exceptionally beautiful eyes. Despite her petiteness, she was radiating willpower and firmness of character. She stepped forward and without greeting them or introducing herself, she asked "Why did you ignore our Prime Minister's warning?"...
 
Captain Kirk responded, "Our Shipwas... damaged by an... energy surge from the planet's surface. I decided an investigation was warranted to determine if the surge was natural, accidental, or purposeful.
 
The woman shook her head and frowned. "That was reckless of you. The situation here on Veros 3 is extremely delicate. I hope that coming here hasn't caused too much damage already." She paused and glanced around nervously. "But as long as you are here anyway, the Prime Minister will wish to speak with you. He will be available in less than an hour. Please allow me to show you to a room where you can wait. My name is Lishen Anan, and I am the First Assistant to our Secretary of State."

She turned and gestured for Kirk and the others to follow. As they did, Kirk asked, "So, are you going to tell us what the energy surge was?"

Lish said, "It was a weapon, but not from my government. There is an uprising faction that has gained control of a weapon of unbelievable power. They are hoping to overthrow us and they don't want visitors to our world."
 
Oh, come on, T’Bonz, it’s all in good fun... I hope you didn’t take that personally, Cakes.
 
Lishen left them in a room with pleasently comfortable chairs. The walls and furniture were eye-wateringly bright colours.

Kirk turned to Maddock - "Let's make the best of the time - full sensor scan - tell me everything you can about this city."
Then to McCoy: "Bones, did you take any readings of Lishen? Analysis?"

"She's a humanoid, but then you could see that anyway" McCoy replied. "Fairly ordinary except for the eyes - interesting structures those pupils. I'd like to get a closer look at her iris."

Woudln't we all thought Kirk as he opened his comunicator.

"Kirk to Enterprise" - there was no reply, he adjusted the dial and tried again - still no response.
 
“Spock...”

Spock tried with his own communicator. “Spock to Enterprise, come in, Enterprise.” No response.

“Is our transmission being blocked?” asked Kirk.

Spock scanned with his tricorder. “Negative,” he answered. “There is no evidence of a local jamming field or barrier to transmission.”

“What about the moon?” asked Kirk. “Is it possible that something in the moon is blocking transmission?”

“Extremely unlikely,” answered Spock. “I would estimate the odds against at 2340.8 to 1. When we were on the Enterprise, we were able to read subspace transmissions emanating from the planet, indicating that any blocking properties of the moon were not there before. Furthermore, if the Enterprise found itself suddenly out of contact with the planet, Mr. Sulu would surely take steps to correct the situation, which could be accomplished simply by launching a probe to act as a relay.”

“Well, so much for my theory,” said Kirk. “What’s yours?”

“At this time,” answered Spock, if you can call this an answer, “I have insufficient data to formulate a hypothesis.”
 
** Time Out**
Captrek, I didn't get around to mentioning this earlier, but I'm in agreement with your rules regarding silliness. Poking fun at cliches and such is okay as long as it doesn't control the story.
** Time In**

Maddock shook his head. "I can't take a scan of the city. My scanner isn't working."

Kirk scowled. "No communications. No scanner. Let's hope the Prime Minister can explain this when we meet with him."

McCoy said, "Well, as long as we have nothing to do but wait, let's see what kind of view we have from here." He drew back the curtains that covered the room's huge window, and found that the vista was quite impressive indeed. The night was lit up by the glow of an enormous lava cascade, kilometers away but large enough to nearly fill the window. Molten rock poured smoothly from a high-altitude caldera in straight lines down to a standing pool thousands of meters below.

"The famous lava-falls of Veros 3," said Spock. "That volcano has been steadily pouring out lava for centuries. The local cities use it as an energy source."

Kirk looked closely at the lava pool, and thought his eyes were tricking him when he noticed what appeared to be people glowing bright orange walking near it.

Spock said, "Those are the Magmasians. They are humanoid in shape, but they actually live near and in lava and underground magma. They will die of cold if their surroundings cool to 250 Celsius."

The view was beautiful enough to hold their attention for awhile, but eventually Kirk said, "It's been more than an hour. We were supposed to have met with the Prime Minister by now. Let's see what is holding them up." He went to the door, but it did not slide open and there was no handle or other visible means of opening it. Kirk slammed his fist against it. "Alright. What's going on here?"

Maddock said, "Look, Captain! Where did that come from?" He pointed to a glowing orange snake, which slithered toward the center of the room, coiled itself up and opened its threatening fanged jaws.

"This is no accident," grumbled McCoy. The snake turned toward him and suddenly sped toward him, but the doctor jumped out of the way.

"It's okay," said Ensign Daniels. Someone just needs to grab it right at the neck so it can't bite them. I think I can do it. I just need to move fast enough." He rolled up the sleeves of his red uniform.
 
"Ensign, I advise caution" said Spock, but it was too late - Daniels reached for the snake, grabbing the creature just behind the head as he'd suggested. What he hadn't noticed was the barbed tail that swung 'round and injected venom into his bare arm.

"Arrgh!" - that was all he said before collapsing - fortunately for the others he kept his grip on the snake.

Kirk drew his phaser, setting it on stun. As he half expected, it didn't work.
 
Oh, come on, T’Bonz, it’s all in good fun... I hope you didn’t take that personally, Cakes.

I did not....and as a matter of fact I agree with you!! LOL

I'm sorry...now this is 2 lame posts in the thread...but I promise to not interfere again. :devil:
 
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