Telemarketers

[Kirby]

I have a couple of things I like to do:

1. Go into the bathroom, tell the person to hang on a second, set the phone down next to the toilet and flush, then wash my hands and come back to them. They're usually gone.

2. Pretend it's a friend playing a joke on me. Listen to them for a minute to see what they're selling and then dive in to something like: "Is that you, Tolbert? Timeshare, what a stupid fucking thing to sell. Hey man, I'll meet you down at the pub in 20 minutes."

3. Pretend to be the most confused person in the world. I like to let them talk for a while and then do a lot of "Wait... who is this again?" and "Wait... what is it you're selling?"

I'm on the Do Not Call list, and when I get called I usually I just let it go to voice mail, but I like to have fun every once in a while.

 

[bluedana]

Most of the time it's not the fact of the call, but the script. Like if you say no, they'll come back with, "you do realize that a 2.5 percent interest rate will lower your mortgage payment?" And that's when I lose it: "Yes, I am a college graduate. I can do the math and the answer is still no."

 

[Weyoun Ten]

One of them called my phone again, but this time looking for my dad. Needless to say, THAT was fun.

I did this all in a high pitched voice:
"Hola?"
"Hi! Is ____ ______ there?"
"Oh... no sinore. No."
"... hahahahahaha! who is this?"
".... I am Maria Dez. I was once known as _____ ______. Sinore, my English is poor. Habla Espanol? Would you like to test my new--"
"**guy hung up*"

 

[Sector 7]

^This reminds me of the Hispanic maid on Family Guy. "Oh, no... no, he no home... no... no." Next time, try it in that voice, Weyoun Ten.

 

[Aragorn]

Ultimately, pissing off one telemarketer won't change anything since your number is on a rolling database and eventually they'll get back to it.

 

[Gul Re'jal]

I live in Hong Kong and those marketers are a real problem here.

I get a call and they start babbling in Cantonese, I ask in English who is this and what they want...they either say "sorry, wrong number" or simple disconnect. A few hours later the situation repeats from the same company (the difference in the calling number is only the last digit or two last digits). Sometimes several times a day. The idiots don't even mark that someone doesn't speak Cantonese, they just keep calling and start babbling as soon as they hear someone answered.

You can't even yell at them, 'cos they rarely speak English, so it's pointless

The best is when they call me asking by name, then I pretend I don't speak a word in Cantonese (I speak a little bit) and only English, and they say "sorry, wrong number." Wrong number but the name correct, ah?

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Back in the day when I still got those calls, despite being on a be-nice kick, the calls still enraged me. I don't even like getting phone calls from people I know. Just reading this thread I'm remembering how utterly enraged I was, LOLOL

 

[Amaris]

^This reminds me of the Hispanic maid on Family Guy. "Oh, no... no, he no home... no... no." Next time, try it in that voice, Weyoun Ten.

I have done this. It is pure hilarity.

 

[Sector 7]

Ultimately, pissing off one telemarketer won't change anything since your number is on a rolling database and eventually they'll get back to it.

Maybe it didn't "change anything", but it made ME feel much better!

 

[RobertVA]

Ultimately, pissing off one telemarketer won't change anything since your number is on a rolling database and eventually they'll get back to it.

But if I make him/her miserable enough he/she might quit! If they want to be interrupting me while I'm doing things I actually want to do (eating dinner, watching Trek reruns etc) they should be footing a significant part of the cost of my telephone line the way advertisers contribute to the cost of network and non-premium cable/satellite TV programming.

I've no more sympathy for cold call staffers than I do for burglars and people that take change from fountains that are equiped with "proceeds donated to..." signs.

GET A JOB THAT DOESN'T INVOLVE PESTERING UNDESERVING PEOPLE!!

 

[Captain Shaw]

Not strictly telemarketing but goes under the 'being totally fed up with phone calls'.
Apparently this Belgium company has a dreadful customer service record so this happened...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxXlDyTD7wo

warning it is 10 minutes, subtitled but if you have the time and are bored, it is incredibly creative and very funny

Funny ,but they got the wrong people its not security fault that they have crap service.

 

[Leviathan]

Ultimately, pissing off one telemarketer won't change anything since your number is on a rolling database and eventually they'll get back to it.

Amateurs. I've not been called in years.

The trick is to get on a list of "problem" numbers.

Observe:

TM: "Hi We're selling...." <spiel continues>
Me: "Wow...that's....sooooo...goooood"
TM: "great let me tell you how to sign up"
Me: <voice gets raspy and low> "keep going baby"...
TM: "ummm..."
Me: "OK...now....what are you wearing?"
TM: <click>

...the solution to the problem of telemarketers is simply the problem of obscene calls.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

^Ditto. If that doesn't work, I just say, "Not interested, thanks," and hang up.

I usually say "I'M ON A DO NOT CALL LIST ASSHOLE or FUCKER!"
I know our do not call lists don't apply to US Telemarketers, but its fun anyhow.

If I don't recognize the number, It goes to voice mail.

End of problem. Next?

That doesn't always work they'll call back later.

Seinfeld has the answer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hllDWSbuDsQ

As Much as I hate that show that wasn't bad, but they now know that trick.

I don't hang up, I just put the phone down on the table and leave the room for 10 minutes.

I've done that.

or take it to the can and have or fake taking a piss.

I'd like to try a variation of this with them one day
Telemarketers/Wrong Number