*TAS* Caption Contest 013: The Incredible Shrinking Crewmen

[Maurice]

As usual, this first post will be the winners, and the second post will contain the captionable image for this week, making it easier for y'all to punch QUOTE and have at it.

And now...

Sorry about the delay turning this one over. It's been a mad past 30 days.

First up, there's a special 3 for 1 win for Rat Boy for tying all three images together in . Behold, the Tweetie Pie triptych!

Scotty: "I taught I taw a putty tat."

Weird Mongoose Thing: "You did, you did taw a putty tat!"

Uhura: "I taught I..."
*zap*
Kzinti: "These human creatures are annoying. Let's just eat them and be done with it."

On to the individual winners:

Nerys Myk shows us a hitherto unknown expertise in xenological mating practices.

M'RESS: You do realize I'm about to snap your neck and disembowel you.
SCOTTY: Aye, just be quick about it.

Then, like Rat Boy, first time winner Deranged Nasat knows better than to mistake a Vedala for a Kzinti, despite the apparent love both have for periwinkle haute couture.

"FOOLS! You have entered *TAS* Caption Contest 012! There is no going back! Prepare to meet your doom, your DOOOOOM! "
"Are you wearing a nappy?"
"No. DOOOOOOOOM!"

Finally, first time winner Tan Ru has the Kzinti going all Nomad on Uhura...or whover she is...

Inform Chuft Captain that we finally have her and that there were no mistakes this time. For too long we have been tracking her across the galaxy; they'll be no escape for the beautiful and talented Ms. Lena Horne! GRRRRRR‼

***** Honorable Mentions of the Week *****
​

Scotty never was good with women, and this close encounter with M'ress illustrates just how clueless he is, thanks to the fine documentary work of Diesel Micky Dolenz.

M'Ress: "Mr. Scott, I may not be an expert on human mating rituals, but I believe you're supposed to be fondling my breasts."

Uhura: These back-planet abortions aren't worth the credits.

Chuft Captain: "What? You told me to don't stop until I get enough. Well, I had enough!"

*TAS* Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

Bad Atom
Cakes488
Captain Crow (x2)
cooleddie74 (x4)
Deranged Nasat
Diesel Micky Dolenz
Hambone
KirkusOveractus
The Laughing Vulcan (x2)
middyseafort (x3)
Mistral (x2)
Mysterion (x2)
Nerys Myk (x2)
NoName Given
Outpost4
Rat Boy (x5)
Shatmandu (x5)
Super Grover
Tan Ru
TigerOfDarkness

Honorable Mentions
Alpha Geek
Alrik
cooleddie74 (x8)
Diesel Micky Dolenz
John Picard
The Laughing Vulcan (x2)
middyseafort
Mistral
Mysterion
Nerys Myk (x2)
Rat Boy (x2)
Shatmandu (x2)
Super Grover
TigerOfDarkness (x2)

And next message: our new contest!
​

 

[Maurice]

A single image with lots of possibilities this time. A "Below Decks" kinda thing. Have fun!

 

[Rat Boy]

Science Officer McTavish: "I ordered mine without milk. Damn you, Grignak!"

 

[Bad Atom]

Dad: Here, Billy, I bought you the bridge!
Billy: But Daaaaad, this bridge is for the 6-inch action figures, not the 4.5-inch ones!
Dad: What's the difference?
Billy: They're too small, Dad. Duh.
Dad: It's fine... just pretend they're in the "giant universe".
Billy: Whatever, Dad. You ruined my birthday again! I'll just get Mom to buy me the right one.
Dad: Yeah, with my child support money, I bet.

 

[Rat Boy]

Redshirt in middle: "I can't swallow this?!"

Professor Farnsworth (off camera): "Well then good news! It's a suppository."

 

[Anticitizen]

Oompa! Loompa! Doobedy-do!
When you're small there's only one thing to do,
Repli-cate your stuff at half-size,
That's Life a-Board the Enter-,
The Enterprise!

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the win!

Trek gnomes, left to right:

"Spock's shuttle keys are around here somewhere. Let's grab em and go before anyone sees us!"
"I'm scared, Gnomemeister, that Spock has fearsome ears"
"Oh god, what if he catches us?! Maybe we've done this too many times? He's already close to snapping"
"We can't quit now. Hmmm, where do you suppose he's hidden them this time?"
"Got em. Hidden in his cup'a'Plomeek soup. Clever, Mr. Logicbox, clever..."

 

[Anticitizen]

At long last - with conclusive evidence from the leak of exclusive behind the scenes footage from ST'09, the debate was over - the new Enterprise WAS initially designed to be 366 meters long, and scaled up to 700+ meters.

Also solved was the mystery of how 800 crewmen escaped the Kelvin in sixteen shuttles.

 

[Mysterion]

On the set, the extras and background actors were called "the little people" for more than one reason.

 

[MANT!]

Tonight, "Little People Big World,The Star Trek Edition"

 

[Alpha_Geek]

Leftmost crewman: I'm shrinking, but the stuff inside me? Why didn't the designers put a head in this room???

Seated Crewman: This is awesome! I can pretend I'm Edith Anne and dangle my legs off the chair!

Couple, Male: Honey I know it's an shipwide emergency, but we may get another chance! Damnit, the Ferengi condom fits NOW, let's go!

Rightmost: This'll teach me to ask for a bigger cup of coffee for these boring briefings.

 

[Nerys Myk]

REDSHIRT: We're not regulars people!!! Wer're not REGULARS!!! Think about it!!!!

 

[Shatmandu]

Woman: "If the tampons didn't shrink too, we're in some deep shit."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Redshirt in foreground: Could be worse, we could also be in that stupid Lily Tomlin movie that also ripped off the movie we're ripping off!

 

[Nerys Myk]

ANGRY REDSHIRT: If Raquel Welch doesn't show up in the next five minutes. I'm out of here!!!!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

I forgot in my last post... thanks for the honorable mention!

Angry Redshirt in Foreground: Damnit! We're the fucking reason TAS isn't canon!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Tache: "Hmm, according to these coffee grounds, I may be overwhelmed by an inferiority complex."

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

BluTache: "Strong shit."

 

[Noname Given]

Announcer: Next time, on Irwin Allen's "Land of the Giants"...

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Blueskirt: "Hey, did you see if Chekov shrunk?"
Redshirt: "No, he was fine, all the bridge crew are fine. It's always the little people... Can't believe I just said that. Anyway, what about Chekov?"
Blueskirt: "Damned penis enlarger pump didn't work, but this might."