*TAS* Caption Contest 011: Getting Your Spocks Off

[battrekker]

Mike Judge was thought as a prime candidate for rebooting TAS. Some producers were uncomfortable with this still picture, but the shit hit the fan when TPTB saw who he placed as Beavis and Butthead.

 

[battrekker]

Star Trek: East LA
"Ese maricón de Sulu no sabe manejar. Se jodió conmigo! Lo voy a Chingar!"

(Translation available upon request)

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock's earbuds: "Poetry in motion ... And when she turned her eyes to me ..."

El Spock: "I suggest we approach the Klingons base camp at a high rate of speed, and as we pass, we fire all weapons."

 

[KirkusOveractus]

"Spock Mays here for Oxy-Clean!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Captain Hill: "Your hat and glasses are phasing in and out of our time-space continuum."

Spock: "Here, take the sperm samples, you goddamned dirty aliens."

 

[Shatmandu]

As a simpering masochist, Spock loved watching hours and hours of blithering idiots quoting Saturday Night Live skits.

 

[MANT!]

Kirk:You're gay, now?
SPOCK:No, I'm not gay. I'm just celibate.
KIRK: I think... I mean, that sounds gay. I just want you to know this is, like, the first conversation of, like, three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like, there's this and then in a year it's like, "Oh, you know, I'm kinda gonna want to get back out there, but I think I like guys," and then there's the big, "Oh, I'm... I'm... I'm a gay guy now."
SPOCK: You're gay for saying that.
KIRK: I'm gay for saying that?
SPOCK: You know how I know you're gay?
KIRK: How? How do you know I'm gay?
SPOCK: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.
KIRK: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.
SPOCK: You know how I know you're gay?
KIRK: How? Cause you're gay? And you can tell who other gay people are?
SPOCK: You know how I know you're gay?
KIRK: How?
SPOCK: You like Coldplay.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "You take the Asian who's cutting the very air with his karate chops, and I'll take the white guy struggling to get out of the green car."

Spock, mouthing words: "Motorin' ... what's your price for flight ..."

 

[Mistral]

Spock: "Captain, I've upgraded the Enterprise's communication system with these tin can telephones."

Kirk: "Do you think they'll work, Spock?"

Spock: "What?"

 

[Mistral]

Spock: "I sense a great disturbance in the Force."

Sulu(offscreen): "Like millions of people have just died?"

Spock: "No, more like a fat lady in California just put on a bikini."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Doctor, why would you get us both His-And-His Penis Pumps for Christmas?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Attention please: we will be removing the leopard-print seat cushions from the bridge, and the beaded Virgin Mary curtain covering the turbolift has been removed."
El Spock, under breath but loud enough: "Racist."

 

[Mistral]

[

Spock regretted watching his favorite team, the Oakland Raiders, play.

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Are you okay?"
Spock: "The Intrepid, Captain. They all ... just ..."
Kirk: "Died?"
Spock: "... watched the latest Eddie Murphy movie."

 

[Alrik]

Spock: "cramp. Cramp. CRAMP!"

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"What the Butler Saw...

Absolutely repellent."

 

[cooleddie74]

"We've got the Rigellian Fever for the flavor of a SPACE PRINGLE!!"

 

[Alrik]

Spock: "Aw. Who needs a hug? That's right, you need a hug. Don't be shy. Come let Spock make it all better."

 

[cooleddie74]

SCOTTY:"Relax, Mister Spock...let it come out naturally, or else ye'll just blow yer bloody O-RING clean out!!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I sense a great disturbance in the Force."

Sulu(offscreen): "Like millions of people have just died?"

Spock: "No, more like a fat lady in California just put on a bikini."

Spock: "Now if you'll excuse me, I'll get my camera."