Author's notes: These are compiled posts for the Q's Winter Wonderland RP on the Star Trek Online forums. This section is based on the Klingon Ice Fishing Mission in the game's Winter Wonderland event. Written in December 2016.
Q's Winter Wonderland, Pages 2-3
Q's Winter Wonderland - Frozen Lake
Eventually, they arrived at the rink. Captain Nat pulled out a massive, golden fishing gauntlet of unprecedented power and found a group of fish. He started smashing into the ice then pulled out a really massive fish. It ate up Captain Nat and left his legs sticking out. Everyone else could hear muffled calls for help.
"Hah! That's hilarious," Alphonse observed. "Also, what the heck are we supposed to do? Fill that thing up in the middle of the rink? Seems odd."
Admiral Nat shrugged and punched the giant fish a couple times, flipping it back on the captain's feet. Guided by the admiral, he walked over to the offering table and tossed in the fish, nearly tossing himself in with it. "Actually, could ask the Klingon over there," the admiral replied.
Alphonse recoiled at the sight of him. "Whoa! He looks way too Klingony and appears unhappy about all these gummy fish."
"Really? He's the fishing master!" Nat replied.
Alphonse took another look. "Oh, it's a momentary Klingon frown of intense elation. My mistake. Do you think he would object a taste test of these gummy fish? Am I the only one that's curious?"
Nat and Nat both shook their heads.
Alphonse nodded and slid his way around the back of the Klingon tower. He snuck around while the Fishing Master was looking outward into the iced lake and stole a Klingon Fishing Gauntlet out of one of the cases. Just as he was about get away, the Fishing Master caught him.
"You there! Did you know the blood-red waters to Gre'thor are filled with pale serpents known as the kos'karii?" the Klingon spoke.
Alphonse stopped in his tracks. "I know about blood in general, yeah."
"Because of this, every year, warriors would go to lakes and rivers to gather ghotl' to be used as lure for the giant ghargh!"
The Captain turned, confused. "Are you just making up words?"
"Once a ghargh appeared, the warriors would attempt to defeat it as a symbolic way to keep the kos'karii from luring warriors from the way of honor!"
Then Alphonse asked, "What if one were to eat a ghotl'? Would that be dishonorable?"
"That would be the greatest dishonor of all! I would rip out the throats of anyone who tried such an act!"
Agreeing, the Captain said, "Absolutely. I'd help. Anyway, I'm off to punch ice, as is the natural impulse of anyone on a frozen lake." He left to rejoin the Nats.
Nat and Nat glanced at each other, and back to Alphonse. "Well, that answers that."
"Whoa now. I'm not leaving here until I get a bite out of a gummy fish. Are you with me?"
Nat and Nat glanced at each other, then back. Captain Nat pulled a random gummy fish out of his pocket, which had no resemblance to those in the lake, and handed it to Alphonse. "There ya go."
"Thanks Captain," Alphonse replied. "But that's not good enough. These gummy fish are different. There's something about them that calls to me. Something delicious. There be gummy fish in this pond and it's my destiny to eat one of them!"
Alphonse then affixed his gauntlet and then moved to an area on the ice. He began punching into ice.
"Save one for me," a tall, athletically built Bajoran said, red hair peeking out from behind a fur hat as she walked up on the arm of stocky Bajoran man in a parka. Captain Kanril Eleya held up a bottle and several glasses. "Peppermint schnapps, anyone?"
"Welcome— Captain—!" Alphonse said between punches into the ice. "Having a drink— on the— ice— sounds— like it would— go perfectly— with gummy fish—!"
He then finished and pulled a giant orange gummy fish out of the cold water. He placed it down on the ice before everyone and used a shard of broken ice to start cutting pieces of it off to serve.
A random generic human appeared in a white flash, and approached the Klingon. "Sir, would you mind if I ate one of the gummy fish here?"
The Fishing Master reacted in utter shock and disgust at the random generic human. "YOU DARE SUGGEST SUCH A PITIFUL USE OF GUMMY FISH!? UUGGGHH!!!" And he took out his dk'tang and thrust it into the chest of the human. Since the reality was fabricated, the human just disappeared, back to where he came from in a bright Q-flash.
Nat and Nat turned to Alphonse. Captain Nat spoke up. "He just stabbed a guy for suggesting it. Don't do it."
Admiral Nat spoke up. "Although he just disappeared in a white flash... so he probably lived."
"Pfft. I have a way better survival rate than some rando," Alphonse suggested. He then cut off a piece of his catch and offered it to the Nats. "Gummy fish? Probably doesn't need to be cleaned or anything."
Nat and Nat shook their heads, and the admiral waved to the Klingon, catching his attention.
"What? How could you do that after I explained what this meant to me?" Alphonse began quickly eating as much of the gummy fish as possible. "Oh man, this is good."
The Fishing Master watched as several other contestants were filling the bowl in the middle of the ice with gummy fish. He then took notice of Nat's waving and began walking over out of curiosity.
Captain Nat reached into a jacket pocket and pulled out a platter, taking the top off, revealing a sizeable gummy fish. He set it down on a freshly spawned table, sat down on a new chair, pulled out a fork and knife, and began caving up the fish, whilst looking the fishing master in the eyes.
The admiral sighed and walked away, flabbergasted.
"WHAT!?" the Fish Master's stride was interrupted by the sight of the most blasphemous thing he had ever seen in his entire military career. "THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!!!"
Alphonse was barely even paying attention and kept eating pieces of gummy fish and sipping peppermint schnapps. He didn't even realize the Fish Master had taken notice.
"Oh, yeah. Aren't these the best, Nat? I could eat gummy anything all day."
Captain Nat looked up cheerfully, looking to the Klingon. "Tastes good. Want a bite?"
Approaching, the Fishing Master pointed contentiously at them. "You baktag have dishonoured the mighty Klingon tradition of fish-baiting! You will pay for your insolence!!! YYAAAARRRGGGHH!!!"
But, before he could act, the ice, further down the rink broke apart and a giant Gummy Kos'karii emerged from its depths.
"Now, you will know suffering! In addition to this beast, you must defeat my army of Klingon Gingerbread Warriors! Those delicious flat sugar men of cheer will tear your flesh, limb from limb!!"
He took a few steps back and sounded his horn, signaling a legion of gingerbread Klingons to begin approaching the ice area.
Captain Nat shrugged. As the gingerbread Klingons, approached, the captain seemed to get further and further away. Eventually, while they had seemingly only progressed by a couple of steps, the lake ahead was a lot bigger, and the journey to the captain impossible. The monster, too, would encounter a similar predicament.
"Heh heh... guess they'll never catch us now," the captain replied, smirking.
Looking up at what's happened Alphonse turned to Nat. "Wait, what? So you really are OP?"
The captain nodded.
"Doesn't that give you an unfair advantage over your fellow Captains? You could have all the gummy fish you want. There's no challenge."
Captain Nat sighed in response. "I know. Have you wondered where that giant Snowdine came from?"
"I'm gonna go with 'Q's backside'," Eleya remarked, sucking on a jumja stick.
The captain laughed. "Not quite. Different Q level being."
"Wait, do omnipotent energy beings have backsides?"
The other Bajoran took the schnapps bottle away from Eleya, muttering, "You're cut off, El."
Alphonse stepped out of the warped space to check on the situation. The Gummy Kos'karii had eaten all the Gingerbread Klingons and the Fishing Master was currently fighting the Gummy Kos'karii to reclaim the rink's honor. "Well that's nice."
Captain Nat repaired the warped space and summoned an ice-built Klingon Bird of Prey, complete with wintery defenses, snowball torpedo launchers, and icicle cannons. Nat hopped aboard and targeted the Kos'karii. "For our honor!"
Alphonse watched and stared at the battle, purely mesmerized by the people fighting it as he chomped on a large chunk of gummy fish. "Now that's something."
The Bird of Prey fired snowballs at Alphonse's gummy fish, blasting it away. Captain Nat spoke up. "Honor time, buddy."
Someone named Avoozuul appeared, randomly. "It would be nice if they were to keep the Winter Wonderland available for RP purposes after the event ends in a similar vain to Risa's Summer Resort without the fights and vendors, but they would have to change the way it is accessed."
Captain Alphonse turned to him. "What's RP? Like role play? That's dumb." He then turned to Captain Nat. "Whoa. Do you see that giant gummy fish hanging off the tower? You keep the Fishing Master distracted while I cut it down."
Captain Nat sighed, aiming the BoP's cannons at Alphonse. "Nope."
Alphonse smirked. "Welp," he said just before he launched his foot into the half-eaten gummy fish on the ground, kicking it passed the Ice Bird of Prey and into the Gummy Kos'karii's head.
It suddenly snapped out of its fight with the Fishing Master and turned to Captain Nat and his Ice ship, charging for them. Alphonse used the distraction to sprint a bee line to the giant gummy fish at the tower and he began climbing it.
Captain Nat's BoP blasting blasted Alphonse off the the Giant Gummy fish, prompting the Fishing Master to notice the runaway captain. Nat turned to the Kos'karii, blasting it away with a salvo of snowball torpedoes.
As the Fishing Master howled in madness, Alphonse's head was brought back to consciousness. From directly underneath it, he looked up at the giant gummy fish he had been climbing and then at the charging Klingon coming directly for him. Quickly, Alphonse began climbing it again.
Nat's BoP knocked Alphonse down again, and held him down with a tractor-beam-esque freeze-ray.
"Sure must be nice being OP," Alphonse said as the Fishing Master reached him and struck Alphonse directly in the chest with his dk'tang. Alphonse disappeared in a flash.
Nat laughed and turned to the Fishing Master. "You're welcome."
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