Stargate's The Destiny

[KJbushway]

The ship shudders to a halt, the blue haze fading in the background as the FTL engines stop after just 3 years and 6 months of constant travel between stars and galaxy. Her hull bright from the star it creeps toward, starving for the power to keep her alive, keep her mission going. One goal, find life before life.

Tired. Weird, the three years of frozen sleep did nothing to stop the mind from thinking about a bed to lay in.

"Young! Young! Can you hear me"? Shouted Rush.

Great, tired and the first person I hear is him, Nicholas Rush. Trust can only go so far with a person like him, so many occasions where he considered none but himself.

"Young! Eli isn't in his pod, it was never turned on" Rush stated with actual worry in his voice.

Damn, where is that kid? Did he have to kill himself? had he given up and just died? It was a shame to lose such a genuis, as Rush had called him.

"Rush? Report."

"Besides Eli not being in a pod." Rush stated with a hint of sadness in his voice. ''little power remains''.

"We have enough to reach the star but we can't power anything beyond little atmosphere."

"What are our options for waking the crew up? I want to be able to start a search for Eli or Eli's body before the whole crew wakes up."

"Well" Rush stated with a bit of annoyance. "It would be best to wait until Destiny recharges in the sun, then we can see if can wake up any military personnel."

"That can't be our only option."

"Well it is" Rush said, obviously starting to act like his impatient; I am smarter than everyone else self.

"Ok, what do we do now? Can we at least go to the Bridge?"

"I am turning on life support up there now, but we will have to travel but flashlight" said Rush, he apparently was already planning to travel there himself.

 

[ares93]

Aside from the fact that the formatting is horrid, I quite liked it.
However, I know formatting is a bit tricky on these boards so don't sweat it. The beginning is great though.

Now that I've turned off the reviewer. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

When I saw the finale, I went to grab some bullets. Thankfully I realized thant I cant shoot whoever is responible for this mess with me being on the wrong side of the pond...

EDIT: On the other hand, its quite possible that my tablet is at fault for the formatting... gotta check on my notebook...

 

[KJbushway]

What do you suggest? Should I not write it through the eyes of different crew members.

 

[trampledamage]

What do you suggest? Should I not write it through the eyes of different crew members.

No he means the layout of the story itself. Blocks of text are difficult to read on a computer - so put a line break (two presses of the Enter button) between different people speaking and between paragraphs.

Also, since the conversation with Rush is happening out loud, you need speech marks for the other person talking. (Sorry, I don't know SGU so I don't know the characters)

I enjoyed the beginning, it's intriguing even without knowing SGU - it's good to keep it short when you're starting out, don't worry about cliff-hangers

 

[KJbushway]

Ah ok I will try better.
Once I get my own computer back I will type it out in word, then copy and paste. I take so long writting it out that it logs me out and I lose what I wrote, which just happened to me.

 

[ares93]

I just went over this quickly. Nothing too fancy. Didnt do any grammar checks either, just formatting. But you get the picture. I tried to get thoughts and speech display correctly but i think you missed a few quotation marks.

It may appear strange, but this is the only way to get the story readable on these forums.

Spoiler: Basic formatting (Post by KJbushway)

The ship shudders to a halt, the blue haze fading in the background as the FTL engines stop after just 3 years and 6 months of constant travel between stars and galaxy. Her hull bright from the star it creeps toward, starving for the power to keep her alive, keep her mission going. One goal, find life before life.

Tired. Weird, the three years of frozen sleep did nothing to stop the mind from thinking about a bed to lay in.

"Young! Young! Can you hear me"? Shouted Rush.

Great, tired and the first person I hear is him, Nicholas Rush. Trust can only go so far with a person like him, so many occasions where he considered none but himself.

"Young! Eli isn't in his pod, it was never turned on" Rush stated with actual worry in his voice.

Damn, where is that kid? Did he have to kill himself? had he given up and just died? It was a shame to lose such a genuis, as Rush had called him.

"Rush? Report."

"Besides Eli not being in a pod." Rush stated with a hint of sadness in his voice. ''little power remains''.

"We have enough to reach the star but we can't power anything beyond little atmosphere."

"What are our options for waking the crew up? I want to be able to start a search for Eli or Eli's body before the whole crew wakes up."

"Well" Rush stated with a bit of annoyance. "It would be best to wait until Destiny recharges in the sun, then we can see if can wake up any military personnel."

"That can't be our only option."

"Well it is" Rush said, obviously starting to act like his impatient; I am smarter than everyone else self.

"Ok, what do we do now? Can we at least go to the Bridge?"

"I am turning on life support up there now, but we will have to travel but flashlight" said Rush, he apparently was already planning to travel there himself.

Btw, i hope i didn't offend you by correcting this. I'm usually not a "grammar cop", but since you said you haven't posted any stories here yet, I figured I'd give you a few pointers.

 

[KJbushway]

O' no thank you. I take this very well. I like the fact that some people like this story. I needed that spoiler corrections. Now I can really write and I hope people enjoy it. Though I will have to write it in word and wait for my computer to do so, which could be a month or go on fanfiction.com and just copy and paste. Please tell me anything else you can think of to help.

 

[ares93]

O' no thank you. I take this very well. I like the fact that some people like this story. I needed that spoiler corrections. Now I can really write and I hope people enjoy it. Though I will have to write it in word and wait for my computer to do so, which could be a month or go on fanfiction.com and just copy and paste. Please tell me anything else you can think of to help.

Yeah, Word would be optimal. I'm "Word-less" myself at the moment. The motherboard in my school laptop died and they sent it in for repair. And unfortunately i cant use my own machine since they changed all the passwords and restricted my access ever since the new IT guy got here. Apparently running the whole bloody department with full administrator access for months doesn't permit me to receive a simple wifi password ever since the new guy took over...

i'm stuck with writing my stories and everything else on a 7" android tablet. i get cramps like you wouldn't believe...

 

[KJbushway]

Check the CPU. The computer place that I went to failed to even look at that. The motherboard was fine,which I didn't know until I bought a new one. now I have to buy a new CPU as well.

 

[ares93]

Check the CPU. The computer place that I went to failed to even look at that. The motherboard was fine,which I didn't know until I bought a new one. now I have to buy a new CPU as well.

I already diagnosed it. The secondary ddr2 ram slot is damaged so the machine is unusable with 2 ram modules. And most of th programs i use (ps cs5, cad, maya, 3dsmax) needs 4 gb ram at a minumum to run smoothly.

Bu thanks for the tip btw. You're spot on regardimg the cpu's. Funny thing you should mention it. I have two machines with faulty cpus i was very close to scrapping since i believed it was the mobo. A trip to th local flea market and two pentium-m cpus later both are installing vlite windows 7.

 

[KJbushway]

Np your helping me, just trying to return the favor.

 

[Kaziarl]

One thing to remember when transferring from Word to the Forum is that it doesn't carry the formatting with it. So like anything you have in Italics or other such formating you have to do manually with forum tags.

And THANK YOU for continuing the story. I love that they left SGU open for more, but I'm not holding my breath for it. So this is great.

 

[KJbushway]

It was mostly me being self-ish that got me writing this story. But if enough people say keep writing, then I will keep writing. So tell your friends.

I have decide to write this an episodes. I will have season finales and there will be a series finale when I can't think of anything else.

 

[KJbushway]

Season 3 Episode 1

Colonel! You need to slow down! shouted Rush.

"The Atmosphere is thining! Power must be going down. Destiny is saving power to reach the star." Rush now leaning against the wall.

I need to contuine, from the bridge I can see how much time it would take for us to reach the sun. Then the task no officer likes to ask of his men. Finding a dead body of someone who you know and cared about. Poor kid, what happened?

"Rush! Hurry up." "The bridge is only a few yards away!"

"I am coming" Rush now sounding impatient.

"Open the door, we need to get in there."

Within a couple of seconds Rush finally reaches the door and opens it. The air is better here. The headaches can now go away. The bridge then raises and light from Destiny's life line shines through.

"How much time are we talking here Rush"?

"Fifteen seconds before Destiny can recharge. We can't go back the way we came, power is done to 3% and I can only keep power to here."

He doesn't even look up. Hands flying over Destiny's controls. Reminds me of Eli. So much Potential.

The ship shudders as it skims off the sun like a surfer off waves. The collecters come down and glisten as Destiny soaks up power. Power reserves reading 8% then 11% then 21%. She begins to wake up.

"Rush. Activate life-support on all decks."

"What do you think I am doing?"

Just like a regular scientist. you may be smarter than everyone else, but you lack the social skills to keep people around you. Always had a feeling that Rush didn't want friends. His one friend, is now missing. His love interest gone. Sometimes you can't help but feel for him at the same time as wanting to hit him.

 

[Mistral]

a good summation of Rush's character...

 

[KJbushway]

Yeah I am hoping to hit all aspects of the different characters. Since I am writing these episodes by different points of view by different crew members.

 

[KJbushway]

Season 3 episode 1

"Scott! Wake up the colonel needs us"!

"Greer"?

"Yes. Come on Buddy wake up"!

Its as if your blind when you come out. There is barely any lights but my eyes can't take the ones that are on. Greer. Why is he if full gear? Did something go wrong? How long has it been? I need to see how Chloe is.

"Scott. Scott. Come on man wake up!".

"Yeah I hear you Greer. Why are you in full gear? Are we under attack"?

"Eli is missing. Colonel wants the military personel to search the ship for any evidence of him. We haven't woke the crew yet."

"OK OK. Eli is missing? How did that happen"?

"Colonel hasn't said why yet, Just that he wants us to search for anything we can find". says Greer who is now standing and sounding impatient.

 

[KJbushway]

Colonel Young walks into the room. A tired look over his face. Obviously worried about Eli and also worrying about getting supplies for the rest of the crew. I can't help but think that Colonel Young has a lot on his plate, I respect him and will follow him any where he goes.

"I want two teams of five and three teams of four. We are searching for any remains or clues to the where about of Eli Wallace" Young states with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"Mathews and Greer you will have teams of five".

As a master Sergeant I am trained to lead. But this is something I don't wish to do. Death has faced me more than once and I have escaped. I just wish the same for Eli.

"Greer, you will search South and Southeast of the ship"

"Yes sir"

"Scott, you will search north-north west of the ship"

"Yes Sir" says Scott who is busy getting his gear together and making sure his team is ready.

"Okay" Young shouts, "Get moving and be quick"

Young's radio crackles and Rush's voice comes on. Colonel Young I need you on the bridge. Young wishes the teams good luck starts heading toward the bridge.

"Okay My team lets go, remember the Colonel wants this quick"

Scott takes his teams and exits the observation deck heading North. Greer checks his team and signals for them to move out. The search for Eli Wallace begins.

 

[KJbushway]

Next time on Stargate's Destiny.

"Colonel Young this is Scott we have found a Keno in the Chair control interface room."

"We have to gather supplies and the next three gates are locked out", Rush states to Young looking tired. " Yet the planets are supporting Life".

Tune in on Monday when Season 3 Episode 2 will be written.

 

[KJbushway]

If you are reading this and liking it please tell me so that I can contuine. If you don't want to post I will start a thread poll.