Star Trek XI Caption Contest #28: Fast and Furious

[Rat Boy]

There are so few Vulcans left, but there's plenty of captions to be had. First, let's berate...

Strange that he left out mechanics and escalators since both are still in demand...

Spock: "Doctor, in these difficult economic times, maybe you should consider taking up moon shuttle conducting, bricklaying, and/or coal mining."

McCoy: "That's ridiculous. Doctors will always be in demand. It's not like we'll be replaced by holograms or something."

Well, that was quick...

Spock: When you visit Vulcan for pon-farr on this particular stardate, remember that you have not actually killed Kirk. He will be under the influence of a nerve depressor. You need not feel shame or sorrow.
NuSpock: But why would I feel sorrow at having killed Kirk? He is, to use an Earth expression, a pri-
Promoted Kirk, OS: Spock! ...and er, Spock! Look how many pips I got.
NuSpock, incredulously: "Captain?!"
Spock, delighted: Jim!

Congratulations to the winners. In this edition, little Jim Kirk drives the pace car for the Daytona 500 and Spock's finally had enough of this shit. Have at and see you in May:

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Aw crap I'm out of gas. And they outlawed petroleum a century ago."

Spock: "He left me no choice. I used the Vulcan Death Sneeze."

 

[LeadHead]

And yet, I'm less concerned at seeing this kid drive than I am when I see how people drive in the real world.

Spock had to do a big stretch to get his "Shut up you face" gesture ready to go.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "Bwak Bwak Bwaaaaak!!!"
Crewman in background: "Chicken fight! Chicken fight!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: Hey, Vulcan's arent telekinetics!!!

SPOCK: I get from my human side, asshole! Now lets see how that tiny brain of your's works.

 

[Aragorn]

"Screw Star Trek. I'm gonna do a superhero TV series with Julie Benz and Michael Chiklis. It'll be like printing my own money for years to come."

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Kirk: "I wonder what that noise is."

SKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Kirk: "Eh, it's probably nothing."

SKRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Kirk: "I'm gonna make fun of Sulu when he leaves the Enterprise's parking brake on."

Spock: "Yo, Spock's the name, representin's mah game. I'm the bruiser from Vulcan, gonna mess wit' yo shiz and throw ya in the bullpin."

Kirk: "Oh ohh oh! Spock raisin' da roof!"

Spock: "SPOCK SMASH!"

 

[Bob Karo]

Loosing his planet and mother and all, it was understandable that Spock turned to the bottle.

 

[TiberiusMaximus]

Spock: It's a FAAAAAAAAAKE!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock employs the deadly Vulcan martial arts technique known as "Breath of Plomeek."

 

[Finn]

Janeway: (OS) Tuvok! What happened? Where are we?

Tuvok: (OS) I'm not sure, Captain. This doesn't seem to be the Excelisor. However, Valtane is present.

 

[Gepard]

MCCOY (OS): "But how does 'The Monster Mash' help us stop Nero?"

 

[M'Sharak]

HOSTESS/CALLER: (along with fiddle music)

Whop him low and whop him high,
Stick your finger in his eye.
Kick him in the shins, grab him by the neck,
Bang his head against the deck.

 

[Vassa]

Kirk, Private Eye!

Your Crane technique sucks!

 

[Schistocerca]

It was only when he pulled on to his drive at home did he realise he had left his mother at the grocery store.

Spock: "Mental note to self; tell laundry to put less starch in my uniform next time".

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Lil Kirk: "Man, what a sweet, purring sound these old internal combustion engines make! I think I'll leave it running in the garage all night tonight to lull us all to sleep!"

 

[Isis]

Nothing is worse than having pon farr when sick bay is all out of Midol.

 

[Schistocerca]

They were a sure thing to get through to the next round of Dancing With the Stars, but then disaster: Kirsty Alley's shoe came off!!!

 

[UFO]

Kirk: Bones, I think Spock needs his emotion chip adjusted again!

What finally pushed little Jimmy over the edge was his uncle selling his booster seat.

Kirk: Boy, am I glad I didn't tell you I slept with your mother ... Oops.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Young James

"Here he comes , Here comes Speed Racer ,He's a demon on wheels
He's a demon and he's gonna be chasin' after someone.... "

Spock "You drove what off a cliff as a boy?"