Star Trek XI Caption Contest #24: Best Laid Plans
- Thread starter Rat Boy
- Start date
Wow, that's nerdy. Awesome!
Spock: I have come back in time for an important purpose.
Kirk: What is it?
Spock uses Nerve pinch on Kirk
Spock: To keep you from stealing my bike!
Love it... feeling the urge to make it a poster...
Spock: Anyways, while I'm here I might as well tell you guys about all the stuff that's gonna happen that you can prevent. Hope you got a pen and paper. Right. Don't go near the edge of the galaxy, seriously it'll screw stuff up. McCoy's ex-girlfriend is in fact a salt vampire, watch out for that. Leave Charlie X back on the planet, it'll save time. Balock is in fact a creature testing you, don't worry about it, he's nice. Harry mudd is giving women beauty drugs, make sure you actually lock him up properly, or he'll be back. Don't use the transporter on the planet Alpha 177 take a shuttle, bring McCoy, saves time worrying about injuries. Nurse chapel's boyfriend is a robot. Only the children are immune to the disease. The inmates have taken over the asylum. The psi 2000 disease is caused by water intoxication. Make sure captain pike doesn't get got by delta radiation. Karidian is kodos and his daughter is a killer. The romulans look like vulcans and they have a cloaking device. The planet on omicron delta is a amusement park. Don't send a shuttle to Murasaki 312. Trelane is a child. Don't kill the gorn, it's a test by the metrons. Careful round black stars. Ben finney will go crazy if he doesn't get a promotion, just saying. Landru is a computer, destroy it. Don't beam on the botany bay, it contains left over augments. Destroy the disintergration booths. Anger gets rid of the spores. The horta is trying to protect it's babies. The organians are non-corporeal. Lazarus is from another dimension. Make sure you are careful with cordozine. The creatures on Deneva can be killed by ultraviolet radiation. Tell T'Pau to deal with it and get down to business. The temple is the source of Apollo's power. Trick Nomad and the M-5 with logical puzzles, never fails. There's a mirror universe where everyone is evil, if you don't want to go there, don't beam through a ion storm. Vaal is a computer, fire phasers at it. There is a giant doomsday machine that eats planets, just put a starship and set a warp core explosion. You'll need to pilot it into the machine's maw. Get the transmuter. Zefram Cochrane is still alive, he's on Gamma Canaris N. Thelev is a orion, Sarek will need a heart operation... Tell you what, I'll write it down for you
Do it!
PIKE (os): That's it! We're switching to cable!!!
Spock: Captain, do you remember we tried that before?
Pike: Oh yeah, that full orbit around Saturn caused a whole mess of problems with the cable line.
Star Trek : Not This Joke Yet Again
Sulu : What are we looking at ?
Chekov : We're looking at NOW....
Sulu : Didn't we do this joke before ?
Old Spock : I remember it like it was yesterday.....
Kirk : Good god, not another flashback, give me a mind meld, anything, just don't do ANOTHER flashback, people will think this was done by the folks that gave us LOST....
Old Spock : And that's a problem, how ?
Sulu : What are we looking at ?
Chekov : We're looking at NOW....
Sulu : Didn't we do this joke before ?
Old Spock : I remember it like it was yesterday.....
Kirk : Good god, not another flashback, give me a mind meld, anything, just don't do ANOTHER flashback, people will think this was done by the folks that gave us LOST....
Old Spock : And that's a problem, how ?
Sulu: "Wait, sir! Why don't we just reverse the polarity of the main deflector dish and reroute power from the--"
PIKE (os): That's it! We're switching to cable!!!
*Chekov gets out of his chair and bitchslaps Sulu*
Chekov: "Anyvone else vant to be a smartass?"
KIRK: Oh, gross. Old man ear hair!
<brief pause>
KIRK: And with those hobgoblin ears, he has more than his share.
Chekov: Kiptin, a klingon wessel has just uncloaked off the starboard bow!
Sulu: funny, kind of looks like a giant...
Pike: Thats ENOUGH Sulu! and quit looking at ricky martins ass. *Sigh* Helmsman McKenna just HAD to get sick....
Sulu: funny, kind of looks like a giant...
Pike: Thats ENOUGH Sulu! and quit looking at ricky martins ass. *Sigh* Helmsman McKenna just HAD to get sick....
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Chekov: Uhura should see this... it's... vibrating!
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Sulu : Looks 'shopped, I know 'shopped, and this looks just like it, yet at the same time I'm aroused by it....
Chekov : I think we've reached TMI level 5 here....
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