SPOCK: ...and his NEXT violation of rules on the message board proceeded as follows...
Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures
- Thread starter Rat Boy
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SPOCK: ...and his NEXT violation of rules on the message board proceeded as follows...
Spock: Man, Administrator V'Las, you look terrible.
Kirk: It's last call and you're the only other one here. This night was such a waste.
Pike: I just offered you a career, dumbo.
Kirk: And at that point I felt it necessary to inform Cadet Uhura about Vulcan Impotence Syndrome...
Spock: I understand your enthusiasm, Mr. Kirk. However, all of the cadets here present are entitled to sloppy seconds with Gaila.
Kirk: Pint of Order.
Spock: You mean "Point of Order."
Kirk: No I meant Pint, I know this is important, but don't you think some booze would really make this assembly work better?
Spock: Cadet Kirk-
Admiral Tyler Parry: I agree to the Cadet, get us some kegs.
Your wait will be about an hour. We'll buzz you when your table's ready.
Red rover, red rover, send Spock over.
Two...for a non-melding table?
Let me check first. We've had a busy morning.
SPOCK: ...and then Cadet Kirk got naked, smeared something called "peanut butter" all over his body and proceeded to rub and grind himself all over me...WHILE Admiral Barnett watched!
PIKE: You like getting in fights, son?
KIRK: This an invitation?
PIKE: PLEASE.
KIRK: I'm not hearing a "no"...
Once again, it's Star Trek BBS sing along time.....
T'musicman : Is everybody ready ?
Kirk & Pike : We need to get in uniform first, just a min.
Everyone : Beyond the rim of the star light....
My love is wandering in star flight....
I know they'll find in star clustered reaches....
Love, strange love a star woman teaches....
I know this journey ends never....
This Star Trek, will go on forever.....
But tell them as we wander in starry seas....
Remember, remember meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
T'musicman : Is everybody ready ?
Kirk & Pike : We need to get in uniform first, just a min.
Everyone : Beyond the rim of the star light....
My love is wandering in star flight....
I know they'll find in star clustered reaches....
Love, strange love a star woman teaches....
I know this journey ends never....
This Star Trek, will go on forever.....
But tell them as we wander in starry seas....
Remember, remember meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
According to these records, Spock, your best subject was Gay Vulcan Studies.
The HELL?!
PIKE: That drink's not FREE, kid.
And I did NOT bring my wallet.
ADMIRAL BARNETT: It is the verdict of this council that you, Cadet Kirk, be taken from this place to another place...where you will be forced to watch a week-long cycle of old thirtysomething TV episodes with your eyelids pried wide open.
Kirk: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether I broke a few rules or took a few liberties with my female fellow cadets. I did! But you can't judge a cadet's entire scholastic record on just a few sick, perverted actions. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole Starfleet Academy system that inspired those actions? And if the whole Academy system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our Starfleet military institutions in general? I put it to you, Spock, isn't this an indictment of our entire United Federation of Planets? Well, you can do what you want to me, but I'm not going to stand here and listen to you badmouth the United Federation of Planets!"
Perfect!
Elder: "Tell me Spock, have you ever seen a grown Vulcan naked?"
Pike: "You know, once the house lights come up, this place is really a dive."
Starfleet Judge: "Witness, can you identify the murderer!"
Alien Witness: "Yes your honor, he was a white male human in a red uniform."
.
Moderator (to self): "What a boring debate. Just a centrist Democrat and a middle-of-the-road Republican. No tea party candidate, no madam who provided escorts to Eliot Spitzer, no former Black Panther, and--the most disappointing--no 'The Rent Is Too Damn High' Party candidate."
ADMIRAL BARNETT: I call a brief recess.
My wife is calling...damn bitch won't leave me alone until I promise to bring some eggs home with me.
And the final question, Spock...to earn your Kolinahr status...
What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen Earth swallow?
And the final question, Spock...to earn your Kolinahr status...
What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen Earth swallow?
Spock: What do you mean? An African or a European Earth Swallow?
And the final question, Spock...to earn your Kolinahr status...
What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen Earth swallow?
Spock: What do you mean? An African or a European Earth Swallow?
I...I'm not sure!!
(*Catapults through air*)
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