CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
In sickbay, Sheila Duggal fought to keep her eyes open as she watched Maren O’Connor enter yet another set of adjustments into the console for what had to be the twenty-fifth simulation she had run in the last hour. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this. This isn’t even what you want to propose, so why spend so many hours perfecting it?”
“Because Commander Icheb is going to dislike my proposal, and ask me to do this anyway, so I might as well get it done now, while I have you here to help,” Maren replied without taking her eyes off the console.
“How do you know he’ll dislike it?” Sheila asked. “You haven’t showed it to him yet.”
Maren smiled sardonically. “Trust me, I just know.”
“Did you know him before this mission, or something? I noticed you seemed kind of uncomfortable around him when he came in to check on our progress. Is it the Borg thing? Because if it makes you feel any better -- ”
“No, it’s not the Borg thing!” Maren snapped. She sighed and apologized. “I’m sorry. Yes, we know each other,” she said, tapping a little harder on the console and looking tense. Sheila got the distinct impression she shouldn’t pry any further, and changed the subject.
“So, what a lucky break for you that your boyfriend got assigned to this mission,” she said, trying once again to break the ice. She had been working with the chief engineer for almost sixteen hours straight and felt like she knew almost nothing about her. She seemed nice enough, and could even be talkative and engaging when it came to work or other neutral topics, but she had clammed up every time Sheila had tried to make small talk about her personal life.
At Sheila’s latest attempt, Maren whipped her head around to look at the doctor instead of the console, eyes wide. “Boyfriend? What are you talking about?”
Sheila looked at her in surprise. “The lieutenant who brought us dinner? Quimby? Quincy? What was his name, again?” She remembered the tall tactical officer by sight from the away mission to Aris 4, but there had been so much going on that night she had never really committed his name to memory.
“John Quigley?” Maren asked incredulously. She laughed. “I’m not dating John Quigley.” She turned back to the console and kept tapping away.
“Really?” Sheila asked. “I just thought -- ”
“We’re old friends,” Maren interrupted. “Just friends,” she emphasized, all the while staring at her work.
Sheila was skeptical. Something about the way John had interacted with Maren the whole time he was in sickbay didn’t look like “just friends” to her. But she wasn’t going to argue. The engineer had clearly had it with the personal questions. An inveterate gossip, however, Sheila simply shifted tactics to asking personal questions about others.
“So he’s single?”
“Who, John? Yes, he’s single. Here, look at this,” Maren said, indicating the screen in front of her. “I think I finally got the field strength right.”
Sheila peered at the schematic on the screen. “I think that should do it. I mean, it’s impossible to predict how any individual’s biology might react to it over time, but I think the likelihood of any kind of adverse impact at that field strength level is pretty slim.”
Maren sighed. She seemed a bit dissatisfied, and Sheila wasn’t sure why. She suspected that her obvious perfectionism had something to do with it. The slim blond engineer had been working non-stop all day.
In between frequent interruptions from her staff down in engineering over matters both important and trivial, Maren had sat in on the tests Sheila had run with Rennel Linto and the gel packs and come up with two different possible solutions to the situation. It had taken about four hours for her to come up with the first solution, which was a way to physically shield them. She had spent another hour or so on an actual proposal to that effect; then she had started all over again on a backup proposal using energy fields instead of physical shielding. She had needed much more help from Sheila for the more complicated second plan, as it required extensive knowledge of telepathic biology and psionic fields, neither of which had apparently been on the engineering exams at Starfleet Academy. As soon as they had started working on the second proposal, Maren had gone from seeming friendly, if a little stressed out, to acting almost unnaturally frustrated by the whole situation. It had been a long day.
Finally, Maren pulled a PADD out of her engineering bag and set it on the console, initiating a download of their work. “All right, I think we’re done here,” she said. She turned to Sheila gratefully and smiled for what seemed like the first time in hours. “Thank you for all your help. I know it was a long day. I really appreciate your staying late to assist me with this; I couldn’t have done it without you.”
Sheila gave her a tired smile in return. “No problem. I’m just glad we won’t have to lock Rennel in his room for seven years. He seems like a nice guy.”
Maren smiled again at this. “Yes, he does. I really hope this works.” She sighed. “Now I just have to go give the proposal to Commander Icheb.” As she mentioned the XO’s name, she suddenly looked apprehensive, and Sheila wondered again exactly what the issue was between the two of them, but by this point, she knew better than to ask.
“Good luck,” she said, standing to go. “I hope you’re wrong about him disliking your proposal. I think both of the plans are great.” She gave Maren an encouraging smile.
Maren sighed. “Thanks,” she said. “We’ll see.”
“See you around, Lieutenant,” said Sheila. She gathered her things and gave a quick wave over her shoulder as she left sickbay.
As Maren finished downloading the results of their long workday into the PADD, she checked the time on the console’s chronometer. “Damn it,” she cursed under her breath. It was almost Gamma shift. She was going to be late.
She tapped her combadge. “O’Connor to Commander Icheb.” Maren waited for a response, but there was none. She tapped her combadge again. “O’Connor to Icheb, please respond.” She sighed. “Computer, locate Commander Icheb.”
“Commander Icheb is in his quarters.”
That’s just perfect, thought Maren sarcastically. She had really hoped she wouldn’t have to interrupt his regeneration cycle. Talking to him was awkward enough without having to break into his bedroom and wake him up. With a heavy sigh, she headed for the turbolift.
When she arrived at Icheb’s quarters, she buzzed the intercom just in case. No response. She took a deep breath, entered her security override code to open the door, and stepped inside, silently vowing that the first thing she would do in the morning was design a remotely operated system to interrupt his regeneration cycle so she wouldn’t ever have to do this again. Why someone hadn't planned for that in the first place was beyond her understanding, but then again, she had been shocked to learn that the ex-drones on Voyager had all regenerated in the cargo bay with no privacy at all. She supposed this was at least a step up from that. She also knew Starfleet Command probably hadn't realized they were assigning the XO's former fiancée to be in charge of operating his alcove. Still, she thought, this was really awkward.
“Computer, lights,” she ordered as she crossed the unadorned, completely Starfleet-issue living area with its dining table and large sofa, heading for the bedroom door. A few meters away, she halted nervously for a moment, but then purposefully stepped within sensor range and walked through as the door automatically slid open. To avoid annoying Icheb with sudden bright light in his eyes when he woke up, she said, “Computer, increase ambient lighting by twenty percent,” then waited a moment for her own eyes to adjust to the dim light.
As bits of the room came into focus, she felt almost queasy with recognition. The sparsely decorated space was classic Icheb. The regenerator and small console at the head of the bed, the enormous stack of PADDs on the desk, and the constantly cycling display of star charts on the small viewscreen reminded her a lot of the private dorm room he had been given at the Academy, only much larger. It was obviously good to be first officer, as Icheb’s quarters were about twice the size of Maren’s own fairly spacious residence aboard the Tesseract.
Maren bit her lip and took a deep breath, willing herself not to let her emotions take control. Let’s get this over with, she thought to herself, and stepped over to the bed, where Icheb lay perfectly still with his head centered in the modified alcove, as he always did while regenerating. She had only seen him actually sleep like a normal person a handful of times, usually while wrapped around her on a lazy afternoon. She quickly pushed that memory aside, and entered a sequence on the small console, which glowed green with Borg script. Icheb’s eyes opened as the computer gave its standard caution: “Warning. Regeneration cycle incomplete.” Maren stepped backward as Icheb glanced over at her and quickly sat up.
They stared awkwardly at each other for a moment. “Sorry to wake you, Commander,” said Maren. “I have a proposal for the gel pack shielding. You told me to -- ”
“I know I did,” Icheb interrupted her, standing up. “Thank you.” He walked over to the doorway that led to the more brightly lit living area and motioned for her to go first, squinting a bit as his eyes adjusted to the increased light. As she walked past him, he added, “It’s not necessary for you to call me by my rank behind closed doors, Maren. You were right when we spoke in your quarters before the away mission; we’ve been through too much for that.”
Maren stopped and turned to face him. “Actually, I think it is necessary,” she said carefully. “I really don’t know how to act around you right now, and all I have are Starfleet protocols to fall back on.”
Icheb could understand that feeling all too well. He had relied on those same protocols to get him through any number of awkward interpersonal situations since being rescued from the Collective. One person he had never needed to do that with, however, was Maren. It hurt that she of all people felt she needed to do it with him now.
He sighed and gave her a frustrated look. “Maren, just talk to me. You’ve never needed assistance with that.”
“No!” she said, a bit more harshly than she had intended. Making a conscious effort to soften her voice, she clarified, “I came here to show you my proposal for the gel packs. Please, it’s late. Let’s just work.”
Icheb nodded. “Please sit down,” he requested, indicating the sofa. He paused, and added a little nervously, “Would you like something to drink?”
Maren shook her head. “No, thank you. Let’s just get this done.” She walked over to the sofa and sat down as far to one end as she could without being obnoxious about it. Icheb came and sat down next to her, not being nearly as careful to maintain his distance, but neither did he press his luck, much to Maren’s relief.
Maren looked down at the PADD she was holding and handed it to Icheb, who scanned the contents with his usual speed. As he was reading, she got right to the point. “I think the best way to shield the gel packs is to literally shield them, not with an energy-based barrier, but with a physical protective layer, something thick enough to keep Lieutenant Linto’s psionic waves from reaching the gel packs, but breathable enough to not overheat the relays. I’ve outlined a few different configurations I believe will work.”
Icheb glanced from her to the PADD and back again. “I don’t understand. You have a perfectly workable plan for an energy-based shielding system right here, listed as a secondary alternative. This is excellent work, Maren, it should have been your primary suggestion. It’s much more efficient than replicating the materials for a physical barrier, and fairly easily implemented. I could see this being made standard on every ship using the bio-neural technology. Why are you suggesting something different?
“Because I can’t tell the future,” answered Maren, with audible frustration.
Icheb gave her an odd look. “Explain.”
Maren briefly closed her eyes and tried to compose her thoughts. “That force field is a neurogenic containment field. It’s highly biodynamic and it would be all over the ship, everywhere the gel packs are. I’m an engineer, not a doctor. I have no way to predict what kind of an effect something like that would have on the dozens of different species living aboard the Tesseract. I do know a physical barrier won’t hurt anyone.”
“You worked with Dr. Duggal on this, what did she say?”
“She said it would probably be fine, but I’ve heard that plenty of times before from well-meaning doctors, and so have you,” Maren said pointedly. “If there’s anything I learned during our five years together, it’s that mixing biology and technology often has unintended consequences.”
He couldn’t deny the point. She had certainly seen more than her share of biotechnological crises as a result of her relationship with him. He sighed. “Maren, we live in space. Everyone on this ship is going to be exposed to various types of radiation, energy fields, possibly even alien pathogens or deadly weapons at some point. It’s the reality of life on a starship. Everyone on this ship has accepted that risk.”
“That’s different. Those things aren’t part of the ship -- and they’re not my doing.”
“It’s not any different. This ship is inherently dangerous. The warp core, the slipstream drive, the fusion reactor, all of those things could easily kill the crew. We don’t think about it because our safety procedures are usually very effective, but it’s the truth. I know you know that, Maren. What is this really about?”
Maren sighed and leaned against the back of the sofa, once again closing her eyes as if trying to block out everything but her own thoughts. “I just want to make this solution as simple as possible, and I don’t want to add any more unnecessary biotechnology to the ship,” she said. She opened her eyes again to look directly at Icheb. “The bio-neural gel packs are bad enough. We wouldn’t have been faced with this problem in the first place if we’d just stuck to using traditional computers. Adding more biotechnology to the mix just makes things worse, not better.” She shifted her gaze to the cortical monitor Icheb was wearing and sighed, adding, “Before you know it, I’m going to have to help Dr. Bashir make one of those off switches for just about everyone on the ship, just in case their biology interacts with some critical piece of biotech.”
Icheb sighed. “Try to separate whatever you’re thinking about what’s happening to me from your thoughts about the situation with Lieutenant Linto, Maren,” he said. “I’m aware there are some parallels, but it’s really not the same thing.”
“Right. Of course not,” Maren retorted sarcastically. “Just like your situation is nothing like Seven’s, and you’re not acting like her at all. You know, you make this argument an awful lot, Icheb, about how different you are from everyone else. And actually, it’s true -- no one else in the galaxy is quite as stubborn as you.” She opened her mouth as if to say something more about the subject, then shut it just as quickly, seeming to think better of it. After a moment, she sighed and said, “Please just tell me what you want me to do about the gel packs. I need to give Gamma shift their orders and you should really be regenerating.”
Icheb sighed. She was right, he did need to regenerate. He just wished he could talk to her first. They had done so much of that back on Earth. They were always talking about their dreams, plans, goals, thoughts. They had finished each other’s sentences and spoken in unison like they had earlier that day in sickbay. At times, it really had felt like they shared one mind, but right now, he had no idea what she was thinking. All he wanted was to apologize to her, pull her close, and just talk to her again -- but he had to give her orders instead.
“I’d like to propose a compromise,” he said. Maren looked at him in surprise.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“You’re concerned about the well-being of the other telepaths on board the Tesseract. So am I. What if we have your staff replicate and install the physical shielding you’re proposing in all residential and recreational areas, along with the departments with 24-hour staffing, like the bridge and engineering? We can use the neurogenic containment field in the Jeffries tubes, corridors, turbolifts, and other areas of the ship where people aren’t sitting for eight or more hours at a time. Perhaps after it’s been in place for a while and we know more about how different species react to it, we can re-evaluate and choose one or the other to be used throughout the whole ship.”
Maren looked at Icheb in sincere appreciation. “That’s a great idea, Icheb -- I mean, Commander,” she corrected herself quickly.
Icheb shot her a look. “Stop it, Maren. That’s an order.”
“You can’t order me not to follow protocol,” she replied, then suddenly looked unsure. “Wait, can you?” she asked. Maren suddenly realized she didn’t know.
“I’m not sure. I don’t think the regulations address our particular situation,” Icheb answered wryly. “We could look it up, but I’d prefer you to just listen to me instead.”
“I’m sure you would,” retorted Maren. “It would certainly make things more comfortable for you, wouldn’t it?” She felt like her emotions were at warp, moving light years in different directions from one moment to the next. Three seconds before, she had been grateful to Icheb for his thoughtful compromise on the gel pack solution, and now she was angry again. For two years, he had been painfully effective in his efforts to avoid any contact with her, and now that they had to work together, he suddenly wouldn’t leave her alone.
As he opened his mouth to say something in reply, Maren stood up and cut him off. “I need to go give engineering their orders. Every hour makes a difference,” she said in an almost mocking voice, using Icheb’s own earlier statement against him. “Is there anything else, Commander?” Her words were professional, but her tone was insubordinate in the extreme.
Icheb sighed. There was so much else he had to say. However, it was clear that if she was ever going to listen to him, it wasn’t going to be tonight. He stood to walk her to the door. “No, Lieutenant, that’s all,” he said, acquiescing for the moment to her desire to keep things formal. “You did an excellent job with both of these proposals,” he added sincerely.
Maren looked down at her feet, already feeling guilty for snapping at him. “Thank you,” she said quietly, glancing back up and allowing her eyes to meet his briefly before turning toward the door. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Commander.”
“Good night,” Icheb said quietly as the door opened and she walked out into the empty corridor. She didn’t acknowledge him. He stood staring after her for a moment, then turned away, the door sliding shut behind him. Alone again, he returned to his alcove and restarted his regeneration cycle.