Well...Gul Berat didn't say that his feelings had been hurt. Spirodopoulos could see it very clearly and hear it in his tone of voice. But he didn't like that; it definitely made him feel bad. I think deep down, he was developing a like and respect for Berat, and doing that to him was not something he liked. Again...thankfully, I think Spirodopoulos realized he'd let his human instincts fool him when it comes to Cardassian behavior. I think those kinds of instinctive reactions are hard to dismiss. Once he reminded himself that this was "submission" behavior rather than "guilty" behavior, he was very ill at ease with the fact that he had reacted that way. He felt bad for not only misjudging, but forgetting his very earliest training. To him, that was a pretty major screw-up. It may be that she's not really allowing herself to see. We have multiple borderworlders and Cardassian War veterans among the Thirteenth Order. I don't know if you remember Mehmet Burakgazi, the one who came from a world so close to the border that his native dialect is influenced by Cardăsda and kănar is a normal drink on his world? While I am not sure Burakgazi would like to admit the Cardăsda influence on his speech, he's handled himself a LOT better. Even Chief Librescu has too...enough so that he's been trusted to have a leading role in gathering the final evidence. So, zh'Thessel's behavior is not what all borderworlders show.