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Star Trek: Inside Out

STAR TREK INSIDE OUT

TV GUIDE listing for
STAR TREK: The Mission
Starring William Sergeant

Stay tuned for these exciting upcoming episodes…

The Gene Kelly Affair
Written by Ian Morrison


First Officer Soyak (William Sergeant) visits Odella Prime for a reunion with his Vulcan friend, Stiop. Upon arriving, Soyak finds out that Stiop’s now two year old son is autistic, and Stiop can not afford the medical attention his son so desperately needs. Soyak decides to enter a tap-dancing contest on Odella Prime to win the much needed funds. Can Soyak win the contest, and save the life of his friend’s son?


To Be Loved At Midnight
Written by Ian Morrison and Brad Green


Engineer Leon Denver (William Sergeant) and Mylf (William Sergeant) find themselves crash landed on a planet that worships the Hemroms. With death around every corner, can the two Starfleet officers make it off the planet alive?

Boarded
Written by Ian Morrison


When Captain Benton (William Sergeant) receives a mysterious present on his birthday, the rest of the crew vanishes into a pocket universe where they now exist as trashcans at a skateboard park. Can Captain Benton beat the local ‘bully’ and save his crew?


Father Knows Best
Written by Ian Morrison and Matt Winston


An unknown program deep inside Mylf’s (William Sergeant) matrix causes the android to take control of the USS Explorer in order to hunt down her long lost humanoid creator, and now worshiper of the Igog religion; Dr. Zee (William Sergeant)

Siblings
Written by Oprah Winfrey and Lee Majors


Captain Dirk Benton (William Sergeant) is visited by his twin sister (William Sergeant) just as a fire breaks out aboard the ship, putting her life in danger. Can the Captain save his sister AND his ship? And can the new invisible nannites put the fire out?

The Jello Man
Written by Ian Morrison


The estranged father (Bill Cosby) of Leon Denver (William Sergeant) arrives to tell his son he is dying, and hasn’t much time to live, and has found salvation with the Igog religion. Can father and son reconcile before the end comes?


Seven Years of Bad Luck
Written by Ian Morrison and Walter Koenig


When Captain Benton (William Sergeant) and Soyak (William Sergent) find themselves trapped in the mirror universe, only the demented counter-parts of Engineer Leon Denver (William Shatner) and the now evil Mylf android (William Sergeant) stand in their way to getting back home.

So…
Don’t forget to watch STAR TREK: THE MISSION!!
Wednesdays at 8pm, right before “LOST” on ABC-TV
 
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STAR TREK
INSIDE OUT
Audtions



It was Saturday afternoon as Matt Winston drove his Mazda Miatta towards the Vazquez Rocks near Antelope Valley, in the northern Los Angeles area. For years the rocks had been a backdrop in many western movies and several TV programs. And for Star Trek fans it was almost as holy as Vatican City was to Catholics, and as treasured as Clay Aiken’s Barry Manilow Record collection.

But it was Saturday, and it was one of those rare Saturdays where there would be no movies or TV shows filming in the park; which was why Matt was coming to the park. Apparently William Sergeant used the non-filming days of Star Trek to ride up to the rocks with his trailer and hold auditions with women willing to do anything to get a part, or just even walk-by, on a filming episode of Star Trek. Matt, as usual, was coming up to the Rocks to see which of the girls had managed to score an appearance on the show.

Matt brought his Miata to a stop under a large tree near Matt’s trailer. He counted the number of women who were waiting outside the door of his treasure on a row of lounge chairs. Matt counted nearly fifteen young starlets; and they were all waiting a chance to prove their worth to William Sergeant.

The trailer was rocking gently, no doubt due to the rigorous audition going on inside of the trailer. The women on the outside started to adjust their bras, their hair, and everything else. Usually when the trailer began to rock it was an indication that he audition was reaching its ‘climax.’

Sure enough, two minutes later, the door opened and two Black females, midgets no less, exited the trailer. William always had a think for Midget women and would always give them a chance. And as it happened, in an upcoming episode, the USS Explorer would come to a world that was dominated by female midgets. Matt waved to William as he came out of the trailer for a quick smoke. The waiting women were all screaming to be next. William smiled at them and told them to wait for a moment.

William came over to where Matt was standing against his car.

“So?” Matt asked, “And takers?”

William frowned. “No, not as many as last week,” William said. “I may have to change location; reel them in elsewhere.”

“What about the two midgets?” Matt asked.

“They both sucked.” William said with a frown.

“I thought that was a good thing.” Matt said disappointed.

Matt liked casting extras and small parts this way. It usually meant small cheap labor cost, and they could get around the union hurdles because usually the women who tried out were hookers who didn’t want to report the income.

“What I meant,” William said, “was that they just didn’t have it. However, I auditioned this blond earlier, Kim Catrjello, and let me tell you! Wow! Here,” William said as he handed a note to Matt. “This was her phone number. Sign her up if you can. She had nice,” William said with a smile, “acting chops.”

--
Matt got back into his Miata and watched as William took a beautiful red head with him into the trailer. As the trailer began to rock, Matt knew he wanted to become a talent scout like the Shakespeareian trained actor; William Sergeant.

Next time…The SHAT hits the fan!!!
 
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STAR TREK
INSIDE OUT
True Love is so Hard to Find.


(This is a strange STAR TREK story. If you are new to this story and have no idea what the hell is going, please go here. Remember; have an open mind.)



A door opened and three men entered a dark and dungy room. One of them turned on the lights and then the room began to come to life with various costumes and props that Star Trek had used over the years. There were pointed ears hanging on the walls, Klingon skull caps, as well as other masks for other alien species. But the three men were looking for a particular prop. It had been used only once, in the classic episode called Devil in the Dark. One of the men, Greg Giles, directed the other two as to what to look for. Greg, who was the prop/FX producer for Star Trek; The Mission, and who was blind, sat on a crate as he listened to the others search for the Horta prop.

“What does this thing look like?” Matt (Steve Martin) Winston asked.

“It looked like a giant pizza,” Williams (Cary Elwes) Sergeant replied.

“Wait,” Matt said, “I think I found it.”

Sure enough he had. Both Matt, the executive producer of Star Trek: The mission, and William, the star of the show, helped each other pull the strangely made prop out from where it had probably sat for over 40+ years.

“It stinks like funk,” Matt said.

“Why were we looking for it anyway?” William asked, as he dusted off the dust that accumulated on his shirt.

“Didn’t you read the script?” Greg asked from the crate he sat on.

“Did I read the script?” William asked back. “What possible reason would I have for doing that?”

“Well,” Matt said as their voices echoed through the large darkened prop room, “you are the star of the show, and usually they read the script. Is that your usual method? Not reading the script?”

“Does Picasso need a brush to paint?” William countered with. “Does a car really need an engine? Does the bee that stings you really need a stinger?”

“Umm,” Matt said, “yes to all of those.”

“You see?” William said as if he had found the keys to the universe. “I am on that level of acting.”

“I see,” Matt said.

“Well,” Greg told them both, “You’ll need to cut a hole in the rear of the thing.”

“Where is the rear end on this thing anyway?” William asked as he looked down at the prop.

“You can decide that,” Greg said. “Oh by the way William; how big is your penis?”

William looked over at the blind man.

“What the hell did you ask me that for?” William asked, as he felt embarrassed.

“William didn’t read the script; remember?” Matt reminded Greg.

“Oh,” Greg said. “Well, the script calls for your character, Captain Dirk Benton, to make love to the Horta. To really pull that scene off, the director has directed us to really have you do it with that thing.”

“Who is directing this episode?” William asked.

“Richard Hatch." Greg replied.

"The dude who played Apollo on Battlestar Galatica" William asked excitedly.

"No, the one from Survivor." Greg corrected him.

“What?” William asked. “I dont care who it is...there is no way in hell I’m going to stick my pole into that thing.”

“Not even for a hundred-thousand dollar bonus?” Greg countered.

“Alright already,” William protested, “Seven inches,” William added.

“Not your length, your width,” Greg said. “Just cut a god damn hole that is large enough to, you know, enter it with.”

William looked at Matt.

“Turn around,” William said to Matt. “I don’t want you to watch.”

Matt nodded and looked away. As Matt looked the other way he heard the sound of a zipper.

Greg must have heard the sound as well.

“Make sure,” Greg said, “that your little sailor fits inside that hole with out too much force.”

“That’s what I’m doing,” William said.

“Maybe the Horta likes it rough.” Matt suggested.

“Shut up,” William said to that suggestion.

Matt couldn’t fight the urge. He turned around briefly, and then his jaw almost dropped at the horror of seeing William Sergeant, star of Star Trek, making love with a prop that, at its best, looked like a slice of pepperoni and sausage pizza. William didn’t know that Matt was watching. The strangest part, Matt thought to him self, was that it appeared William was enjoying humping the Horta. And Matt couldn’t deny the pleasure he was feeling just by watching.

“Inter-racial sex,” Matt whispered, “Gotta love it.”

--

Later in the day, after transporting the prop to the studio, the scene was filmed. Captain Benton was seduced by the female Horta, and with candles lit through out the cave, which was the Horta’s home, Benton and the Horta made love. It was one of the most romantic scenes ever filmed, or so at least Matt believed.

With the scene finally finished being filmed, the actors and crew prepared to leave. Matt went out to his Miata and prepared to go home when he saw the most rewarding sight. He saw William Sergeant loading the Horta prop into his SUV. Matt realized why; William was taking the prop home. William was not done with it just yet.
 
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STAR TREK
INSIDE OUT

THE GOREFATHER

PARAMOUNT TV STUDIOS

Inside the office of Matt Winston; executive producer of Star Trek; The Mission;

It was the classic Mexican standoff. There were two unmovable sides, separated only by a desk between them.

On one side of the desk there was Matt Winston; producer of the hot new STAR TREK series called Star Trek: The Mission, and his primary star, William Sergeant. Star Trek: Mission was a show that centered around a small scout class vessel, on Tuesday nights at 9pm, and staring William Sergeant as all four principle characters; including the “female” android character named MYLF.

Matt was sitting at his desk, with Sergeant, who was still in his Mylf make up and wardrobe, a grayish colored dress, outer reddish bra, and silver skinned face, standing by Winston's side.

On the other side of the desk was former Vice-President and environmentalist leader, Al Gore. Al gore was sitting in a chair, but had two massive African-American body guards flanking him on either side.

What people didn’t know, about Al Gore, is that when he was not in front of cameras, or the media, he acted much differently. Gone was the nice, monotone nature of his voice. It was replaced by a very thick Sicilian accent.

“I’m gonnn’a make this easy to understand, eh?” Gore said. “You’z guyz needs ta get with it. I donna see any hybrid cars in’ya show. I’mma trying to save the world by doing all'a this green pizza shit, eh? So where are the fukn hybrids in your show?”

“Excuse me,” William Sergeant said, while shifting his purse from one shoulder to the other, “but Mister Gore, this show takes place in the future. In Star Trek’s future humanity has solved the problem of pollution. That future also allows same sexed marriages.” Sergeant said, as he pointed at the two large security guards.

Gore slammed his hand down on the table. It did two desired effects. It made a point, and, it cracked several macadamia nuts he held in his hand. He brought his mouth to his hand and plopped the nuts into his mouth.

“Shudda-up!”Gore yelled back at Sergeant. “Don’t talk’a to me you, you, you, you, you, you, fukn fruit salad!” Gore yelled.

“Yummi-yummi!” Gores’s security guards added in unison.

“Yes sir,” Sergeant added, bowing his head.

Gore gazed at Matt.

“Now,” Gore said as he chewed on his nuts, “I wanna you to listen to your good’a friend, Alllllla Gore, that’a be me, and I gonna tell this only’a once, eh?” Gore said to Matt, “you putt’a the new Porsche hybrid in your fukn show, or else, the next time I visit your fancy little playhouse? I kill’ya. Do ya understand?”

Matt Winston gulped.

“Totally,” Matt replied, as he wiped the sweat from his brow.

--
The following day; on DVRS across the world, there was a new listing.

TV GUIDE LISTING
Next week on STAR TREK; THE MISSION
The crew of the USS EXPLORER will travel to a mysterious planet where the only mode of travel is the use of four wheeled vehicles; including the 2010 Porsche Hybrid! Don’t miss this exciting new episode.
 
STAR TREK
INSIDE OUT

REMEMBER THE MEMBER


William Sergeant was filming a scene for the next episode of STAR TREK; THE MISSION, when a call came down from the executive-Producer of the show, Matt Winston, for Bill to come up to his office. Sergeant, who was just moments from filming a fight scene with a Klingon-extra, headed up the long stairway that led to Matt Winston’s office. Sergeant was still in his Captain Benton wardrobe, which included a tear; right across the chest of his Captain’s shirt, exposing his large mound of black and sweaty chest hair.

Sergeant walked into Matt’s room, where he found Matt sitting behind the desk in the office, and there were two other men, Japanese men in fact, and they sat in the chairs across from Matt.

“These gentlemen are from Japan,” Matt said.

Matt watched as Bill Sergeant, TV-Star that he was, looked down at the two Japanese men. It was clear to Matt that the word “Japan” didn’t ring a bell in Sergeant’s uneducated mind.

“Ah yes,” Sergeant said as he reached out his hand to them, “I loved my visit to Beijing. I found the women there to be very fu…”

“Ahem,” Matt coughed, “that’s China, Bill. These two men are from Japan. They represent the toy company that will be distributing the toy-line based on our show.”

“I, William Sergeant, have my own toy-line?” Bill Sergeant asked, really to no one in particular.. “Imagine that,” Sergeant continued, as he was overcome with self-importance, “an entire line of toy’s based on me; based on us!!” Sergeant said, grasping the groin of his pants as he did. “Does it come with a special G-spot contour?”

“Bill!” Stan replied, “Not THAT kind of toy-line. These toys are for kids!”

Matt then held up an action figure. It looked very much like Mylf, the android character that Sergeant also portrayed. Sergeant took the doll from Matt and looked at it.

“This is incredible,” Sergeant said. “My own action figure; I’ve really made it big time now.”

The two Japanese men smiled at Sergeant’s approval.

“How much do I get?” Sergeant asked.

“Well,” Matt told Sergeant, as Sergeant continued to observe the Mylf action figure, “we’re still in final negotiations. I think you might get a blanket contract for around one or two million.”

“Wow,” Sergeant said.

“We spare no expense.” One of the Japanese men said.

“We hope you like.” The other Japanese man added.

Then, without warning, Bill Sergeant lifted up the dress that came with the Mylf android, which was female in appearance. Then he lifted down the little purple panties that were part of the clothing as well. Then, without warning, he threw the doll down.

“Why does this doll have a penis?” Sergeant screamed. “Mylf does not have a penis,” Sergeant continued. “Do you people even watch the show? Mylf wouldn’t know what to do with a penis EVEN...IF... she had one!”

Sergeant stormed out of the office, leaving the two Japanese with frightened looks on their faces.

“Oh,” Matt said, trying to calm the situation. “It’s that time of the month for Mylf,” he added.”

The two Japanese visitors calmed down, and went on with the negotiation.

--
Later that day, Bill Sergeant stood in his dressing room-trailer. He was in his Mylf make- up, and he was partially in the wardrobe as well. He was not wearing the dress or purple panties that came with it. And as he stood there, alone in his trailer, he seemed dazed, and confused, as he looked at himself in the full length mirror. Mylf did indeed have a male-member. Sergeant stared in shock at himself, as Mylf. Where did it come from? It had to go; he had to get rid of it! Mylf could not have one of those; EVER!!!


Continued…
 
SPACE HUNTER ZERO..STAR TREK INSIDE OUT

STAR TREK
Inside-out
Space Hunter Zero



Matt Winston was happy. He was happy and horny. When you’re happy, horny, and when you are the producer of a hit TV show, you can take care of both at the same time. Due to his many years of working with Charlie Sheen, on various projects, Matt knew ‘certain’ numbers to call when the ‘itch’ came. And, on this night, Matt had a very powerful itch.

Using one of the numbers provided by Mr. Sheen, Matt placed an order. And at the smooth cost of $5000, two very attractive women appeared at the front door of his high-rise apartment in one of LA’s many suburbs. He had a home in the hills, twenty miles east of LA, but when he got the ‘itch’ Matt preferred to get it scratched at his downtown apartment.

He opened the door. He was wearing some jeans and a dress down shirt. The women were both wearing the same outfit; a black bra with matching panties. They also were holding whips and various flavors of edible lubes.

“Well hello there,” Matt said with a broad smile as he let the women in. The two women, very attractive women, came into the apartment. All over the walls of the apartment were various posters of Star Trek and other movies and TV shows. One of them showed Captain Benton in bed with a Horta.

“That was my favorite episode,” one of the girls said in a sexy manner.

“Mine too,” the other girl replied, “gave a whole new meaning to the term carpet muncher.”

The girls began to kiss each other, and Stan just sat down and started to watch. This is what he paid his $5000 for; and the women were doing exactly as ordered.

--
ACROSS TOWN

Ian Scott Morrison’s life had changed very much since STAR TREK; THE MISSION went on the air. He was the main writer of the show. His only experience writing up to this point had been writing fanfic on various Trek sites under the ‘pen name’ of Mistrally. And now, thanks to the success of Star Trek; The Mission, Ian was being asked to write movie scripts.

With some of his new found wealth, Ian had bought a four room house in Beverly Hills for a cool 2 million. The house would have gone for 15 million a decade before, but then that was before the economic woes. Two million for 8000 square foot house in Beverly Hills was a bargain. It also included a pool. But Ian had no time to swim, or socialize. He was making the finishing touches on his first movie script. It was for a movie to be directed by Michael Bay, and it was called Pancakes.

Bay had come to Ian with the idea, and needed someone to write it. The plot was very simple, but very different and sure to make tons of money. The basic plot was this;

The year is 2020, and the Earth is running out of Ozone. Skippy (Bruce Willis)Davis is a scientist who figures out that the only way to save the Earth’s ozone, and rejuvenate it, is to launch millions upon millions of pancakes into the atmosphere. But when new-age scientist, and avid fan of Cameron, Samantha (Miley Cyrus) Gordon proves that Pancakes have souls, her father Thomas (Robin Williams) Gordon, a famed lawyer, launches a lawsuit to stop the impending launch of the pancakes that can save the world.

But when her father Thomas is later killed by an angered mob, Samantha and Thomas’s life partner Gil (Jack Black) Hunter try to stop Skippy Davis from launching the Pancakes by appealing to the Pancakes to leave the Earth before they are slaughtered. To do this they enlist the aid of the world’s most accomplished telepath, Rebecca (Barbra Streisand) Mindenthorp, to make contact with the innocent patties of dough.

But, in true heroic fashion, several million Pancakes volunteer to risk their lives to save the Earth, rather than see it be destroyed by lack of Ozone. At the end of the movie, as the Pancakes are shown being destroyed, Robert Redford—Zak Ephron—Howie Mandel—Mr. T and President Barack Obama (in his fourth term) will read a public service statement warning of Ozone depletion.

The script was almost done. In fact, on this night, Ian would make the finishing touches and hand the script into Universal and see if they movie becomes a GO production.

--
However, in the Space Hunter Black Hole, somewhere near Jupiter, the aliens who reside there were well aware of Ian’s script. For it is they who are draining the Earth’s Ozone to save their own! And if Ian raised the awareness factor of the human population, then all would be lost. It was time to send Gigan to Earth to rectify the situation!


Continued….
 
NEWS FLASH!

“…and in local news, this weekend was the annual Gay Pride Parade. It wound its way from through Balboa-Park, through Hillcrest, and back to downtown San Diego. As it passed by the convention center, which will host the Comic-con next weekend, several Comic-con fans joined in on the March. Apparently many scifi books, and comic-books, have addressed the issue of Gay rights, or have had Gay characters, with-in their pages, thus the cause had garnered much support among the Comic-con gathering.

Actor William Sergeant, best known as Captain Dirk Benton on the hit series Star Trek, was also at the Comic-con venue, in his Capt Benton wardrobe, and at first, refused to join in on the march. When reminded that he also plays another character on the show who happens to be a gender-neutral android named Mylf, in drag no less, and is a character whose own sexuality has been, at best, undeclared, Sergeant wanted it to be known what Star Trek is just a TV-show with no real bearing on the real world.

With the realization that Star Trek isn’t real, many of the gathered Comic-con fans collapsed in utter shock. Our camera crews filmed several of them being cared for by local paramedics. We asked one of the Star Trek fans, a young man who went by the name Mistral Watson Tbonzz, of Sweden, if they really thought Star Trek was real. Our reporter was verbally attacked with words we dare not broadcast; but we can show you the beating our camera man took at the hands of Mistral Watson Tbonzz.

When William Sergeant saw how many of the Comic-con fans, and Gay marchers, would stop watching the show unless he marched with them, Sergeant changed his tune and ‘beamed’ into the crowd. We have to wonder if Paramount Pictures, and ABC-TV, will be happy to see that the world will be seeing televised images of Captain Kirk Benton marching along side the likes of Clay Aiken and the Jonas Brothers.

Now, lets get the weather report from….
 
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STAR TREK: INSIDE OUT
The Movie Mission

He was dressed up as a blue skinned, large breasted android; and he loved it. William Sergeant wasn’t gay, but of all the characters he had ever performed as, Mylf the android had become his favorite. And, after four years, and one-hundred episodes, of Star Trek: The Mission, the show was in its final season. Tons of fan mail came in with thousands of middle-aged women very sad that their favorite character in all of science fiction, Mylf, would no longer charm the audience with her wit and humor.

William Sergeant stood in his private trailer, which was located next to the sound stage, where Star Trek: The Mission was filmed. He stared at himself in the mirror, as he began to wind down from the rigorous shooting schedule of that day.

The shoulder length hair he wore, a wig of course, the red dress, and his blue skin, began to arouse him, as it did every night when he prepared to remove the makeup and wardrobe. He played the same striptease every nigh for himself; he reached up, never taking his eyes of his body in the mirror, behind his back, and unsnapped the bra he wore, and let it fall to the ground.

The fake breasts he wore were stunningly real looking; even the nipples stood erect, thanks to a battery driven device could sense coldness in the air. He stared at his half naked body; and liked what he saw. Sure, he was a little overweight, pushing 250 pounds; it didn’t matter, His character had become the spokes person for women who didn’t believe weighing 120 pounds was required to live a happy and full life, and so he felt very secure with his appearance. There was a knock at the door to his trailer.

William Sergeant opened the door to find his good friend, and executive producer of the show, Matt Winston at the door. Matt was holding to beers in each hand, meaning quite clearly; it was time to drink.

“Can, I,” Matt struggled to say, then burped loudly, “come…in?”

It was clear that Matt was drunk. William Sergeant escorted Matt in, and rested the drunken man on the couch in the main living area. Sergeant sat next to him on the other couch.

“Matt,” Sergeant said, “you have to stop this drinking. Another show will come along for you to produce.”

“No,” Matt Winston said, “I’m done Bill. I’m over fifty, and fifty might as well be a hundred and fifty, for an executive producer.”

“What about porn?” Sergeant asked as he pealed of the fake blue breasts. “Porn makes a lot of money.”

“Can I see those?” Matt asked as his friend prepared to put his boobs away.

“Why?” Sergeant asked, “you’ve seem my boobs a million times.”

“I know,” Matt said, “and their really nice. I just want the chance to hold them at least once before Star Trek is done.”

Bill Sergeant thought twice about it, but then handed his fake breasts over to Matt.

“These feel real,” Matt said. “Even the nipples seem realistic. I forgot; who made them for you?”

“Stan Winston’s company made them,” Sergeant said, “Apparently they had some molds of Linda Hamilton’s breasts, and they fit over mine quite well. They made three sets, this is the set I use for close-ups.”

“What are you going to do when the show is over?” Matt asked as he traced his finger over one of the fake breasts nipples.

“I haven’t decided,” Sergeant said, “I’ve been approached to do a talk show; I think I’ll call it Cooked Wits.”

“I like it,” Matt said with a smile. “Can I come on your show if I have something to promote.”

“Sure,” Sergeant said, “as long as it isn’t porn. I mean, bring the porn, but we just won’t be able to talk about it.”

Suddenly Matt Winston’s cellphone rang. As Stan conversed with the caller, William Sergeant changed into a pair of jeans and a button down shirt. Matt finally finished the phone call, and had a grin on his face.

“Bill,” Matt said excitedly, “that was Paramount. They want to make a Star Trek movie.”

“No way,” Sergeant said as he began to visualize the payday of a movie.

“Star Trek; The Movie Mission,” Matt said, already thinking of a title.

“Who do we get to write it?” Sergeant asked. “Ian is so burnt out; I don’t think he’d want to do a movie.”

“We’ll find someone,” Matt said, “Will you do it? They won’t make it without you.”

Then an idea went off in William Sergeant’s head; DIRECTOR!!!

Continued….
 
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THE SCRIPT IS READY!

It had been a rough three years since Star Trek: The Mission had been cancelled. Matt Winston, the show’s executive producer, had found it hard to find new work. Turning sixty years old, for a executive producer, meant less gigs as the prevailing wisdom around tinsel down was that anyone over 40 was too old, and out of touch with the business.

Matt had been able to get by, barely, by producing soft porn and commercials. He didn’t expect it to be this way after the studio offered to make a motion picture based on Star Trek; The Mission. But that been three years ago, and everything came to a halt when, alas, William Sergeant, the star of the show, demanded to not only star in any movie version, but to write it and direct it as well. The studio knew they had to give in to Sergeants demands, and Matt Winston couldn’t blame them. Sergeant did play all four leading roles. Each one had landed Sergeant well deserved Emmys;

There was Captain Dirk Benton (played by William Sergeant); He was the captain of the Uss Explorer. He was brave, and had all the answers. He was the all-American (though Sergeant came from Australia) hero. And, thanks to his well known manhood (a specially made ‘cup’ that was sewn into the front area of William Sergeant’s pants) he was well known for bedding many women in his adventures. He was also a secret follower of the Zigog religion. And, because of that, he wore a lucky necklace with an IDEC emblem on it. The IDEC emblem was that of a rose, with one black pedal, and one white pedal, clasped together like hands, with a unicorn in the center, that seemingly wore a sweater. (This item would be sold on QVC once a month)

Soyak (played by William Sergeant): This character came from Vulcan, had green skin, and pointed ears. He was very smart and a know it all. He was also a vegetarian, and though it would never be a plot point, he was also gay. (This was done to make it seem as if this Star Trek show would finally have a gay character, but never really show anything ‘gay’ about the character. This strategy had worked before, and got the Gay and Lesbian groups off Paramount’s back, and no doubt, it would work again.)

Leon Denver (played by William Sergeant). He was the ship’s African-American engineer who knew how to keep the little ship together, sometimes even using rubber-bands, and snot; the original rubber cement.

And finally, M.Y.L.F.: (played by William Sergeant) Mylf was a proto-type female android, but unlike earlier models; the Mylf had the outward appearance of a woman in her late forties. (This was due to the fact that, like Leon, Soyak and Dirk Benton, the Mylf would also be portrayed by William Sergeant).

--
After three years, Matt had finally received a call from William Sergeant with great news; the script was ready! Matt, who was directing a same sex scene between two big and beautiful women for a new soft porn movie he was making, yelled “cut”, ran out of the cheap studio in Pasadena, jumped into his 1968 red mustang, and zoomed over to Sergeant’s home, which was located in the foothills of northern Los Angeles. Matt Winston knocked on the door of a luxurious home located in the northern area of the San Fernando Valley. Many of the top celebrities had migrated from Bel’Air and Hollywood in the mid 90s, to the gated communities of San Fernando. William Sergeant, star of Matt Winton’s STAR TREK series was one of them. Matt could see the appeal, rolling foothills and a more relaxed atmosphere, but it just couldn’t compare with Malibu, which was wear Matt lived.

Matt walked up to the front door, and rang the doorbell, and as usual, on of William Sergeant’s servants opened the door. The servant, large former Chinese sumo wrestler, named Liato, opened the door. Matt had visited Sergeant’s house enough times to know that Liato had no long term memory; the result of a cocaine addiction.

“Hello,” Liato said, “are you Selena Gomez?”

“No, Liato, its me,” Matt said, “Matt Winston. Do I look like I have two perky breasts?”

Liato reached out and groped the front of Matt’s shirt. Matt let him do it, as he had many times before.

“You have no boobies,” Liato said. “You are not Selena Gomez. Please come in,” Liato added as he opened the door.

“Thank you,” Matt said, not wanting to admit that the groping had a strange affect on him, as it always did.

Matt found his way to the main den, where William Sergeant awaited. William was dressed in a woman’s red evening gown, with a plunging neckline, and a necklace of white pearls around his neck, and a red wig, not his usual hair piece, but a red wig draped over his head.

“You look stunning,” Matt said.

“I didn’t ask,” Sergeant replied.

William Sergeant took a drink from the glass of wine he was holding, then set the glass down on the fire mantle he was standing near, and then reached back to adjust the thong under his dress, which had ridden to an area of his behind that wasn’t comfortable.

“Why are you dressed up like Mylf?” Matt asked, as he sat on one of the two couches.

“I haven’t played Mylf in over three years,” Sergeant replied as he sat on the other couch across from Sergeant. “And since, in my script, she plays an important part, I decided to start dressing up like her so as to get back into character. By the way, she’s going to have a love scene with Captain Benton.” Sergeant said.

“How are we going to do that,” Matt said, “you play both parts.”

“Hey, its all green screen these days,” William Sergeant countered. “Look, if Cameron can create blue CGI creatures, then we can create a CGI of both Benton and Mylf, and have them finally make love, which has always been the back tension of the TV show.”

“I can’t argue with you there,” Matt said. “So, do you have the script? I want to read it.”

“I do indeed. But first I want you to meet the two stars that will playing pivotal roles in the movies.” Sergeant said, with a ting of awe in his voice. “I found them in an ally in Chino; they are going to make everyone forget about Pitt, Bale and Dicaprio.” And then William Sergeant made a soft whistling sound.

Matt was excited. If William Sergeant was this excited about new talent, then it had to be good. Matt’s smile became a forced, almost crumbling smile, as two dogs, wearing gangland clothes no less, came into the room and came to stand next to Sergeant.

“I give you,” Sergeant said with total awe in his voice, “Muff Dog and Lee Hound.”

Yo; its all good man!
 
Once again, I'm left shaking my head and smiling. :lol:

Thanks Nigel and Kes.

I will be writing this story, and crazy ideas come into my mind, and I say "oh hell why not"? Its a story that really helps seeing in my mind the main characters, in this case Matt (steve martin) and william shat..I mean, William Sergeant (Cary Elwes).

Rob
 
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Matt Winston looked at the two dogs as they both were panting, and then he looked back to William. Matt could tell immediately that William was really serious about having these two dogs co-star in a multimillion dollar movie production.

“Dogs?” Matt asked. “You want our movie to star a couple of dogs? Brad Green (the head of Paramount Pictures) may be nuts, but he’s not that nutty.”

“What if I told you that Muff Dog and Leon Hound were devoted followers of the Zigog religion, just like Brad is. And, on top of that,” William said, “they’re gay dogs.”

Matt looked at the two dogs, visualizing what William had just said, and shook his head to get the image out of his mind.

“They’re dogs, William.” Matt repeated. “Dogs are not gay.”

“And that’s the beauty of it,” William said, trying to make a point. “They just do whatever or whom ever they want to do, and no one says anything.”

“And they’re Zigog believers?” Matt asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I have been reading up on the Zigog religion.” William said. “Not only do they believe mankind came from space, they also believe that dogs carry the souls of unborn followers who will be reborn as humans in the future. In fact, Muff Dog here, according to his owner, Alan Alda, will be the President of Peru two hundred years from now when he’s reborn.”

“Really?” Matt asked softly. “What about Leon Hound?” Matt asked. “What is he destined to become?”

“According to his Zigog priestess, he will be reborn as a blond transgender prostitute in Amsterdam and her name will be Lilly,” William said, with leering eyes and lust in his voice. “I’ve been thinking about plying Leon with wine and kibbles and bits. Maybe he and I can...”

“I don’t want to hear about it,” Matt said. “Okay, well great, the dogs are Zigog followers. That should get us the funding. Zigog followers are the second most represented religion in Hollywood among the big money players.”

“Exactly,” William said.

William stood up, and walked over to the writing desk in the corner of the den. Matt found it hard to keep his eyes off of William’s well shaped nylon covered legs and fought back the urge to lick his lips. William opened up his desk and brought back the script and handed it to Matt to read.

“Did you write this?” Matt asked.

“Of course,” William said, “and I think you will agree with me that its an instant classic.”

“Why am I not surprised; you wrote it.”

“Exactly,” William said casually.

Matt read the title of the script.

“Star Trek; The Movie Mission, DOD’ger,” Matt read it out loud, and then repeated. “I like the title,” Matt said. “Do you have a director in mind?”

“Yes, and I already spoken to him and he’ll do it.” William said, excitedly.

“Who?” Matt asked.

“Now, before I say who it is, you have to trust me that I know what I am doing. This guy has never directed a movie before, but I really think he has the chops for this; I trust his vision.”

Matt sat back, preparing to hear who William had in mind to direct the movie. Matt closed his eyes, hoping to God, or Zigog, that this person was a real power name, someone who could do the movie justice. Matt hoped it was someone who could work with not only William Sergeant, but with Muff Dog and Leon Hound.

“Ozzy Osborne,” William said.

Matt slowly opened his eyes, and again, found himself having to force a smile on his mouth instead of yelled “f” word seven million times.

“Ozzy Osborne?” Matt said. “You trust his vision? No one can even understand a word that man says anymore.”

“I had Ozzy read my script at a Lakers game, and he loved it.” William said.

“Was he sober?” Matt asked.

“He was able to get the message that the movie tells,” William said. “Then he told me the things he wanted to do with the story, and the guy is a total genius. There‘s a subplot about Lee Hound finding out that his foster father is actually, get this, his real father.”

“He does?” Matt asked.

“Yes, he does,” William continued, as a tear came from his left eye. “Lee Hound has a scene where he is licking his balls, and then he has a memory of being a puppy. In this memory we see Lee Hound playing with his father on Talos V, and we see that his father has a unique stripe behind his left shaggy ear. And, when Lee Hound is a older and mature dog, he sees that same stripe,” William says, breaking up crying as he does, “on his foster father’s ear too.”

“And Ozzy came up with that idea?” Matt asked.

William dabbed at his now running eye liner, and shook his head.

“No, I came up with the part about the foster father being his real father. Ozzy said something to the effect that it sucked balls, and so I changed the scene, and now it all works. The man’s a genius!”

Matt, speechless, looked at the script. He had to remind himself that what he was about to read came from the warped mind of William Sergeant. But, if the movie was going to get made, and Matt was going to executive produce it, and get paid for it, he had to set aside any trepidation and just push forward.

“Alright,” Matt finally said. “I’ll read it tonight in bed, and I’ll let you know tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” William said, as he tried to compose himself. “I think its going to touch you in ways you can’t even imagine.”

“I bet,” Matt said with sarcasm. “I’ll get back with you tomorrow.”

William snapped his fingers and the dogs ran out of the room, and up the stairs. William walked over and pulled a bottle of Captain Morgan out of the collection alcoholic beverages contained inside of it, as well as a glass for him, and a dog bowl for Leon Hound.

--
Two hours later, in his own bed in his house that over looked the Pacific Ocean, Matt closed the script, having just read the final word. He breathed in a deep breath, and made his hands into two tight fists. William Sergeant had written a classic! And Matt would have his name attached to what would be considered one of the greatest movies of all time. Now that he had read William’s masterpiece, Matt was now very sexually aroused.

Matt reached over and picked up his phone and called a number.

“Sally, its me, Matt.” Matt said to the voice on the other end, “want to come over and play around?”

Matt listened to what she said to him on the other end.

“Yes,” Matt said as he opened reached over to medicine bottle on the side of the bed on a night stand, “I have three of them left,” Matt said as he looked inside of the bottle that contained three blue pills.

Then he listened more.

“Yes,” he told her, “I’ll take all three right now; just hurry up and get over here.”

He listened further.

“Yeah, I have cash.” Then he paused. “500$? Last week it was 200$.” She spoke more. “Oh yeah, I forgot about the Saturday rate. Alright, I’ll go down to the ATM, just hurry up and get over here.”

Matt hung the phone up, popped the three Viagra pills into his mouth, and put on his Pajamas and gathered his car keys, and zipped out the door to head down the street to the ATM and get Sally’s payment. Sure, Sally was a prostitute, and it wasn’t true love, but Matt didn’t care. Whenever the thought of making large sums of money came into his mind it aroused him; mentally at least, and he had to act on it. The three Viagra would turn that mental arousal into physical arousal. His Erectile Dysfunction posed a problem for most men his age, but thankfully God, or Zigog, had created Viagra.

As Matt sped away in his Mustang, and blew the stop sign at the end of the street, he was unaware that he was now being followed by a black and white cop car.

--

Continued…

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I have deemed this 'installment' to over the top...you can send me a private EMAIL (scorpianram@aol.com) if you want to read it...but after consideration, I have decided to pull it.

Rob
 
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