Star Trek - excerpt of a script leak!!!!

[StarTrek1701]

WARNING!!!


The following is a script leak that I found on another discussion board. It is an excerpt of a scene from Star Trek. I cannot verify its authenticity nor can I provide definite proof that it is the "real deal". But reports are that Paraborg asked website JoBlo to remove it, but another person in another board captured it.


WARNING!!!


I DO NOT know how to work the spoiler button, or so I forgot. I will provide ample space for those that do not wish to see it, but for those who do, please scroll down.

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FINAL WARNING! TURN AWAY NOW

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33 Int. corridor outside Spock’s quarters

Lt. Andy Lin approaches, this time he is alone and carefully looks around.

Spock’s voice

You may enter

34 Int. Spock's quarters

In contrast with his spartan personality, the room is a cryptically incense-laden lair, filled with curtains and strange paintings.

Spock stares at him. He is covered in sweat, looking pale, and out of uniform. The poison had worked.

Spock

Why are you here this time? I thought the last conversation was quite straightforward.

Lt. Andy Lin

You can’t believe what the Captain said. We’ve known each other for how long now, Spock? Let me be blunt. Damn the formalities.

34 Continued

Spock

This is within your duties?


Voice (Filtered)

Klingon battlecruiser off the port bow. Man all stations.

Lt. Andy Lin is unphased.



Spock

You’re not to your station?

He starts to get into uniform.



Spock

(Continuing)

If you don’t act on a call, you could face…



Lt. Andy Lin

Don’t worry. It has been taken care of… personally.



Spock

(frantically looks around the room)

Why are my security devices off?



35 Int. Bridge, U.S.S. Enterprise



The cruise is proceeding evenly as Kirk arrives out of one turbo-lift. Spock and Lt. Andy Lin emerge.

Captain on the bridge.



Lyra

Captain, the shields are still weak.


Spock

Step down, Lyra. Let the Lieutenant take care of it.


35 The main viewscreen


A Klingon battlecruiser appears near. It is larger and more sinister looking (Prod. Note Sketch- #4535)



Kirk

(Finally)

You can’t instate him. Not on this.

35 Continued:



Spock

You have to trust me.



Kirk (yelling)

I don’t know what the hell’s gotten into you, but I’m not dealing with it here! Not now!



Lt. Andy Lin

Perhaps you should settle down.



Kirk

Shut your mouth. That’s an order.



Lt. Andy Lin

This is the Starship Enterprise,

Captain Andrew Lin, Commanding. It appears as we’ve lost our captain.


Kirk (yelling again)

What are you doing?

A sudden thrust has him fall over.

Lt. Andy Lin

Spock? Do it now.

Spock

I’m sorry, captain.

Lyra (frightened voice)

Spock, why do you have that look in your eyes?

What are all of your thoughts? I am thinking FAKE, but you never know.


For reference

 

[Michael]

Ahem.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

One thing that marks amateurish scriptwriting is a lack of brevity - lengthy, overly specific stage directions and descriptions as well as big chunks of dialogue.

Of course, there have been a lot of produced scripts that have those problems.

This passage is surprisingly lacking in those faults.

OTOH, the use of a character's full name in the dialogue heading - "Lt. Andy Lin" rather than "LIN" is not standard (it's also different from the treatment of the other characters). It reads like an in-joke between the poster and someone else.

Other than that, I've no opinion.

 

[Kegek]

Got to agree with Senator Vreenak on this one. The passage contains fairly significant speaking roles for an Andy Lin and a Lyra. I'll accept as given that there are speaking roles whose names we don't know in this film, but two in one scene - and Lin's role seeming particularly meaty - I bet we'd know something about this character by now or at least have a known actor attached to an unknown role which fit his description.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

I do know this: I'm thoroughly sick of Vreenak. A joke repeated fifty times isn't funny, even if one is stoned on one's ass - which, I add with a little regret, I have not been in many years.

 

[Kegek]

A joke repeated fifty times isn't funny,

Aren't you the guy who posts groundhogs?

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

A joke repeated fifty times isn't funny,

Aren't you the guy who posts groundhogs?

Motivated by exasperation rather than any interest in amusing you.

 

[StarTrek1701]

Agreed with Sen. Vreenak as well. Sorry to waste the bandwidth of this site. Mods please close this if you want.

 

[Nowhere Man]

Sen. Vreenek is right, he's good at spotting these kind of things, besides K irk wouldn't say " Shut your mouth", unless they are talking about Shaft ofcourse.

 

[Cranston]

Meh, I think it's probably fake too. I agree with Polaris about the "Lt. Andy Lin" bit.

The one thing that makes me wonder, though, is the fact that...well...it doesn't make any sense, as though it had been lifted right out of a larger context. Granted, that might just mean it's poorly written. But I would expect intentionally faked screenplay bits to have (a) at least one thing that's already been leaked, like Pike, or Sarek, or the Academy -- something that smells of desparation in trying to convince people it's legit; and (b) some significant story point that makes the fans all atwitter with discussion and argument. This has neither.

So...I agree that it's very likely fake, but I'm mildly interested in its actual origins.

[EDIT] Well, I've reread it, and I guess it does have a "big plot point." But it still strikes me as off-key for a faker who's really trying.

And therein may lay the truth.

 

[FabiusMaximus]

Read Andy Lin as Lin Nimoy's Spock...

 

[xanderwess]

A vulcan named ANDY?

 

[CommanderRaytas]

That at least would make some sense.

 

[Rat Boy]

A vulcan named ANDY?

Were you expecting Carl?

 

[ancient]

"Shut your moulth! That's an order!"

lol, too funny.

Now drop down and give me 20! Make it 50!

 

[captcalhoun]

i love the caption on that YouTube clip 'Senator Vreenak Resident Expert'

 

[BolianAuthor]

I have written some spec scripts for various Trek shows, and have exhaustively studied the "Trekkian" style of scriptwriting, and have a number of real production Trek scripts. This is an obvious fake.

For one, the dialogue is too "uncohesive", meaning the focus of each given scene seems too random, and does not focus or linger on one theme for more than a few moments. Also, the reference in brackets to the production sketch of the Klingon ship... heh... that is not how things are done in Trek scripts, when describing a new alien ship... not at all. That was obviously put there to start a supposed buzz about what a new Klingon ship may look like. Additionally, the dialogue is so low-brow, it truly feels like a 6th grader wrote it, which may even be the case. Lastly, the scene reminds me too much of the scenes from "The Undiscovered Country", where Spock is meditating in his quarters, when the signal comes in over the comm that the Klingon battlecruiser is... yep, that's right, boys and girls... off the port bow!!!

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

Of course, there's no reason based on what we know, to expect the style of this script to resemble the old "Trekkian" style of scriptwriting. The book on that...has been thrown out. This movie is being written in a contemporary style by guys who write very modern movie scripts.

The fact that the script style isn't imitative of previous Trek, in fact, is one of the plausible things about it - and Cranston is right, the fact that it appears to have been lifted out of some larger context is similarly persuasive.

All of which means only that it's a better job of faking than someone too steeped in "Star Trek", like a fan, would do. It was made up by someone who understands scripts and scriptwriting, if only by close observation. It may in fact be a pastiche of a scene lifted out of some existing script somewhere, dialogue altered, that we don't recognize.

 

[ancient]

If anyone can get ahold of the Transformers script or some other work by these writers, there's you're basis for comparison.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

If anyone can get ahold of the Transformers script or some other work by these writers, there's you're basis for comparison.

Oh, I don't think Orci and Kurzman wrote this - at least, there's no reason as yet to think that they did. I'm just saying that in most ways it's a better job of faking than most Trek fans would do - they trip over stuff not because they don't know enough, but in some ways because they're too observant of details that would be irrelevant in scriptwriting.

The "Lt. Andy Lin" thing is strange - it stands out in a page that's otherwise a very reasonable facsimile of script format.