Spoilers (Star Trek:) Enterprise

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by uniderth, Apr 14, 2016.

  1. uniderth

    uniderth Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2009
    Taking place in 2154 this series depicts the crew of the Enterprise on mission in deep space. We will see the struggles, triumphs, losses, and growth of the crew as they face the vast unknown. For me this is the CORRECT version of Enterprise. The thread intends to serve as a sort of public notebook for feedback. It is a work in progress, though I make no promises of frequent or consistent updates.


    This is my series bible so far:

    The Ship

    S.S. Enterprise UEV-47

    A run of the mill science ship. Declaration class. There’s nothing really special about this ship. She has no namesake or legend to live up to. The Enterprise is designed to carry out multiple two year scientific research tours into deep space. She has already completed one tour under the command of Captain Lei. The Enterprise has a compliment of about eighty-four. Two thirds of those are civilian scientists while the other third are military personnel.

    Extraordinary adventures await this ordinary ship.


    The Crew

    Note: There are two characters I carried over from B&B’s Enterprise namely Trip and Hoshi. I have cut and paste some elements of their B&B bios.


    Captain Johnathan Stiles

    An experienced UESPA officer, about thirty-eight years of age. His previous assignment was as executive officer of the military ship S.S. Lapu Lapu. He was born and raised in the former Nation of Deseret(great basin region of the US). In his youth Stiles was one of those children who would stare up at the stars longingly. Although faster than light travel has become more common, young Johnathan would imagine the endless possibilities at each of those points of light. From an early 21st century perspective he’s one of those damn lucky souls who was fortunate enough to be born when interplanetary travel was a reality.

    At age twenty-two Stiles joined UESPA, knowing this was the fastest and best was to the stars. Stiles progressed through the ranks serving with distinction.

    Stiles married his wife Emily at age thirty-one and currently has two young daughters. He spent his time between his executive officer post and taking command of the Enterprise, with his family. His greatest strength and weakness is his love for his family. He misses them terribly while he is out on duty, but they are also a great motivator for him. He is torn between his duty to the space service and his duty to his family. One could say they are the two great loves of his life.

    Another of Stiles’ strengths/weaknesses is his curiosity. He’s willing to look into things a little deeper than he sometimes should. However, this attribute is what got him command of the Enterprise. UESPA knows that with a mixed crew of military and civilians Stiles will give the civilians a fair chance, while other officers may be more inclined to favor the military. As this is Stiles’ first assignment as Captain on a deep space vessel, he is eager to see what is out there and explore it in his way.


    Ntsais Lee

    Lee is the executive officer of the Enterprise. She is thirty-four years young and was raised by a very traditional Hmong family. She, on the other hand, failed to see the purpose behind all of that archaic nonsense. This came to a head when, after graduating from college, her parents tried to sell her to the man she was dating. That was the last straw. She wanted to get as far away from her parents, and this planet, as possible. It was then that she joined UESPA Academy to become an officer. She quickly rose through the ranks, and was eventually assigned as executive officer on the S.S. Thunderbolt, patrolling the Kzinti system. She has great potential and UESPA command wants to test her in deep space, so she was transferred to the Enterprise.

    Lee’s strength is her discipline and ability to follow and give orders. She is very loyal to UESPA as they were the ones who helped her escape from, in her eyes, her crazy family. She is very self-reliant and sometimes this comes off as cold or introverted, but this is unintentional. As a result of her history and her time patrolling the Kzinti system she is also very ethnocentric. If there is something new or unknown she is likely to dismiss it in favor of what she already believes.


    Charles “Trip” Tucker III

    At age forty-eight Trip is an experienced and skilled engineer. Trip was raise in Seattle, part of the former Cascadian Republic. He served as an engineer in UESPA mostly working in the solar system.

    Trip was a lead involved in the design and construction of the Declaration class. Having grown tired of being a desk jockey, he wants to get back out into space, so he pulled some strings to get assigned on a ship from the class he helped design.

    While Trip is a brilliant engineer and an outstanding officer, he has very little first-hand experience with alien cultures, and he's often a 'fish out of water' when dealing with new civilizations.


    Jessica Ward

    Ward is the chaplain assigned to the Enterprise. While many religions today might find it odd for a woman to officiate in religious rites this is not the case on 22nd century earth. The face of religion has changed much over the years and Ward is a product of this.

    Daughter of a career UESPA officer, Ward joined the service as well. She was a lifelong atheist until an event what, she could only explain as spiritual experiences, caused her to reexamine her views and ultimately enter the Chaplain Corps.

    Ward gathers strength from the multiple religious traditions she is trained in. This helps her to relate to different people and cultures.

    She has spent most of her career safe planet-side. However, a recent spiritual experience in her life inspired her to transfer to a space assignment. Despite her positive attitude and seemingly strong beliefs she’s not prepared for what lies out there.


    Hoshi Sato

    Hoshi is about thirty-eight years old, from Hiroshima, Japan. She is an expert linguist and friend of Captain Stiles. It was because of this she was chosen by Stiles to join the crew. Hoshi is strong, intelligent, and logical. While she is not comfortable with space travel, she does her best to make the most of it.


    Summer Curtis

    Assigned as the Chief Medical officer of the Enterprise. She is about forty-one years old. Summer grew up in Melbourne, Australia where she became a doctor. A defining moment in her life was an emergency when she tried save the life of an alien, but she was unable to. Shortly after this she entered the Interspecies Medial Exchange. Despite anti-human sentiments of many older spacefaring civilizations she has developed a great deal of medical knowledge and is very skilled in her field.

    Summer is quite warm and personable; but can be intimidating, because she has trouble simplifying concepts. She is seen by some as too smart.


    Hayed bint Vega al-Bashir

    Al-Bashir is the chief Helmsman aboard the Enterprise. She is thirty-one years old and was raised in London.

    She holds the enlisted rank of Starman and mans Helm Station 1.


    Solkar

    A male Vulcanian, with a full name unpronounceable by humans. He is known by his common name, Solkar. He is about 35 earth years old. Solkar is a member of the Vulcanian Science Academy and has been assigned to assist the crew of the Enterprise as a Liason Officer.


    Note: There are three more main crew I will include here.


    Governments

    United Earth

    The government of earth. The United Earth was founded as movement in the early 21st century and existed primarily as a minority group. It survived WWIII through a handful of proponents. When the first faster than light ships were launched in the 2060’s the United Earth seized the opportunity to rally and oversaw their construction and operation. Shortly after this in the 2070’s there was increased anti-world government sentiment. This is primarily due to the actions of the New United Nations during WWIII. By this time the remaining nations and post-war micro states had abolished Earth unification movements. As earth regained its footing and communities stabilized, the United Earth was re-established and began uniting communities and micro-nations.

    In the 2140’s the political climate of earth had changed and the United Earth saw an upsurge of public support. By the year 2150 the United Earth successfully accomplished its goal of peacefully bringing the world together under a unified system of laws and rights.

    Today, in the year 2154, the United Earth administers not just earth, but also the Lunar colonies, Martian colonies, and all other solar system colonies and operations.


    United Earth Space Probe Agency

    This is the body in charge of all United Earth space military and scientific operations. They oversee protection of Earth’s colonies, exploration, and colonization operations. UESPA (YOU-spa) is a joint service consisting of military personnel as well as civilian scientists.


    The United Martian Colonies

    A separatist group rebelling against United Earth control of Mars. The ungrateful proponents of UMC perceive the United Earth’s benevolent aid and economic support as restricting their ability to trade and interact freely with the interstellar community. Propaganda from these terrorists, laughingly labelled “Martians,” incorrectly state that Earth is exploiting Mars resources for its own gain and not giving anything back to the people of Mars.


    Tools

    Intelligent Augmented Reality Probe

    A robotic probe equipped with low level artificial intelligence. It is used for exploration of space and hazardous environments. This probe has a variety of configuration modes to allow maximum functionality. Space mode - Condensed configuration allowing for easy launch and recovery, operation in open space environments, and small impact protection. Human mode – Bipedal, humanoid configuration allows for easier functionality in humanoid environments, as well as providing easier interaction with the crew. Spider mode – Octopod configuration for greater functionality in non-humanoid centric environments.

    Studies have shown that most spaceship crews regard these probes as one of the crew. Great affection has been shown for these probes and most crews usually give their probe a name.


    Weapons

    Ship Based

    While the Enterprise is primarily a scientific ship, it does carry a small armaments for defensive purposes. The ships weapons primarily consist of long range torpedoes that can be equipped with a variety of warheads. For typical long distance combat inert “slug” warheads are used as the velocity of the impact is enough to devastate most other ships. The torpedoes are guided and can be used as intercepts to target incoming missiles and torpedoes.


    Handheld

    Handheld weapons during this time consist of polymer cased projectiles. These can be found in pistol, rifle, heavy machine gun, and sniper rifle forms.

    In addition to projectile weapons, large bulky particle weapons called “lasers” are available. These require a backpack or case power pack to operate. These weapons have the advantage of being longer range than standard bullets. They can also maintain accuracy in higher gravity environments. Lastly they are quieter and faster than bullets. These lasers are particle weapons and not the same as the term used in the 21st century. The beams do not propagate at the speed of light.


    Auxiliary Craft

    Shuttlecraft

    The S.S. Enterprise is equipped with three shuttle craft, and two shuttlepods. One shuttle is warp capable, another is equipped for manned scientific missions, and the third is a cargo shuttle. All of these craft are designed to fit in a 2.5 x 5 meter cylinder. The science shuttle is a lifting body design. It can be be fitted with various attachments depending on mission needs. These attachments allow for long range, aquatic, or hazardous environment operations. The two shuttlepods are also lifting body design, but are smaller and must dock back to back to fit in the shuttle carrier pod.

    Becuase these craft (with the exception of the warp powered shuttle) may not be capable of reaching orbital velocity on many planets, the Enterprise utilizes a hybrid-rotating tether system to latch on to the shuttle and retrieve it.


    Enviropod

    The enviropod has been a staple of earth spaceship design since the early days of warp flight. The enviropod is a large detachable, multi-function craft. In normal use it protects the entire crew during high intensity radiation events. During which it allows for limited control of the Enterprise. In addition, the enviropod can be used as a warp capable cargo shuttlecraft. Lastly, the enviropod functions as the ship’s lifeboat allowing for limited warp travel, re-entry and planet-side landing operations.



    UESPA Ranks

    The following are a list of UESPA ranks:

    Enlisted
    E1 Starman Recruit
    E2 Starman Apprentice
    E3 Starman
    E4 Petty Officer 1st Level
    E5 Petty Officer 2nd Level
    E6 Petty Officer 3rd Level
    E7 Chief Petty Officer
    E8 Senior Chief Petty Officer
    E9 Master Chief Petty Officer

    Warrant Officer
    W1 Warrant Officer 1st Level
    W2 Warrant Officer 2nd Level
    W3 Warrant Officer 3rd Level
    W4 Warrant Officer
    W5 Chief Warrant Officer

    Officer
    O1 Ensign
    O2 Lieutenant J.G
    O3 Lieutenant
    O4 Lieutenant-Commander
    O5 Commander
    O6 Captain
    O7 Commodore
    O8 Rear Admiral (LH)
    O9 Rear Admiral (UH)
    O10 Vice Admiral
    O11 Executive Admiral
    O12 Commander-in-Chief


    Sundries not part of the series bible

    Just a few notes about my thoughts for this series:

    Each space civilization to have its own look. The earth ships will primarily be ringship design. Earth ship interiors and uniforms will draw from what I call “clean” or “white” sci-fi. Look at Oblivion for a glimpse at what I’m talking about.

    Vulcanian ships would look similar to that seen in First Contact. They would be radially symmetrical with the wing/bulbous warp pods. The color would be the same as in B&B’s Enterprise. Vulcanians would keep their more robe-like clothing, but the hair styles would be less Spock and more varied like in Kirk’s era.

    Subspace communication is still being developed at this point in time, so it is not used during the first few seasons. The ship communicates at light speed with standard radio frequencies. This means that it is faster to deliver messages by downloading them to a ship and transporting them the same as other cargo. This means that while in known space, a stop at a colony, rendezvous, or visit to a base is also a mail stop. It also means that when the ship is out of known space there is ZERO communication with home.

    I have eight seasons in my lineup. The first and second seasons would be the ship's two year deep space mission. There would be no return visits to earth during these seasons. It would be completely far out space exploration.

    The third season would feature the Enterprise and crew returning home and finding things very different. The Martian rebellion has grown and is causing a lot of problems in the Solar System. About half of this season would be an earth-centric story arc which is the climax of the Humans arc that illuminates cultural transitions in humanity to a more advanced and enlightened state(not Picard snobbery though). The end of this season would have the Enterprise back out in space.

    Season four is where the build up to the Earth-Romulan War starts. It would be a semi-deep space season where the Enterprise is on the way out again, but then the war breaks out.

    Between season four and five would be the first movie of an Earth-Romulan War Trilogy. I think featuring the war in a movie trilogy would be better than drawing it out as part of the series.

    Having said that I’m not sure what stories would fit into season five. I suppose that will depend on the story of the trilogy. I would like the war to be more of a background piece than center stage. Like how it was done in Deep Space Nine. But that might mean following different crew members off the Enterprise.

    The second film would be in the middle of season five. The third would be between seasons five and six.

    Season six would include post-war recovery, stories of humanity's triumph, and the challenges leading up to the founding of the Federation. The season finale would be the founding of the Federation.

    For seasons seven and eight the show would be renamed Star Trek: Enterprise. The ship would be given to the Federation and relaunched as the U.S.S Enterprise XCV-330.

    During season seven we would be back out in deep space. We would be able to see the struggles of the newly founded Federation; and the crew finding their place in new system.

    Season eight would still be out in deep space finding new strange unknown things. The new Federation and the enlightened version of humanity would be tested.

    That’s about it for now. I’m sure I have some spelling and edit errors, but I’ll update this as times goes on. I appreciate any comments and feedback.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2017
  2. admiralelm11

    admiralelm11 Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jan 17, 2009
    Location:
    Vancouver, WA
    Mhmmm... some interesting attributes.
     
  3. psCargile

    psCargile Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 4, 2010
    Location:
    GA
    Take all the Star Trek out of it and make it your own, and it might be more interesting.
     
  4. STEPhon IT

    STEPhon IT Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2010
    Location:
    Sunny California
    uniderth, have a blast with it. Just write stuff which will catch a readers' mind. Create characters which will open the door to potential plotlines and stories and if some little minds can't handle what you write? Tough! At least you know you're writing something which is truly special. May I ask, could you create a tall character, and something out of the box--like Arex; an Edoan character I found extraordinary and very Star Trek. Star Trek doesn't need any creative characters being discriminated on.
    Keep up the imaginative work.
     
  5. Sgt_G

    Sgt_G Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2013
    Location:
    USA
    I meant to comment on this thread a while back. Interesting ideas. Lots of potential. I love this tag-line:

    Extraordinary adventures await this ordinary ship.

    Personally, I'd drop Tucker and Hoshi and replace them with new, original characters. psCargile has a valid point. You're already on the "edge" of what Star Trek is, it would be so easy to drop some of the obvious references (Romulans / Vulcans, etc.) and make it your own universe.

    If you decide to stay with the Trek theme, and being this early in the history pre-dating Star Fleet and the UFP, it makes sense that most of the crew are humans. The problem then become one of making sure the non-humans don't become cliché and appear to be inserted just for the sake of having non-human crew members. You want a logical reason why they're on this Earth Agency ship.

    Speaking of crew, you listed eight known character and said you have three more to list. I presume that these are just the main characters and not the entire crew complement. Oh, opps, I just saw it. Eighty-four crew members. That's about right, by my estimations.
     
  6. uniderth

    uniderth Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2009
    I've considered that, but this is a story I really want to tell in the Star Trek Universe. However, I did take my idea for a Valiant series out of the Star Trek universe, it was so loosely connected anyway that it doesn't lose much.

    Thanks. That is my goal is to get the characters fleshed out and "living" in my mind, then let the characters tell the story. that's why I don't have any stories flesh out yet. I do have some main plot points and story/character arcs, but the Characters are what i want to get flesh out first. Also I want each character to have their own story. I would rather not have them be caricatures with cliched histories and attributes. Obviously some common threads are unavoidable, but I want to avoid checklist cliches.

    Yes I do have an idea for tall characters they would appear in season three. However, with the ship being as cramped as it is an excessively tall character just wouldn't fit in the ship as part of the crew. As far as aliens go I would like to break the "Class M" addiction and show some truly strange stuff. So I would like to depict some really alien, aliens(which isn't so hard in a written medium). Also If you look up real astronomical phenomenon and exo planets some of those places are stranger than fiction, why not include them in a story? My goal is to have this crew take us along on their exploration of the truly amazing and strange place that space is.

    Yeah, I can really see your point about replacing them with new characters. There's just something that makes me want to keep them. I'm not sure what it is considering my disdain for B&B Enterprise.

    But as far as being on the edge of what Star Trek is, that really what I'm striving for. With this idea I'm really pushing it into a much more Hard Scifi. Hopefully I'm also pushing it with what stores will be told. But at the same time it needs to be a prequel for everything else. It has to walk that knife's edge that all prequels face.

    Yes. The only non-human I have on the ship right now is the Vulcanian Solkar. But I'm not necessarily attempting to have a Spock analogue. In this series humans and vulcanians are not adversarial, instead they have gotten along fairly well over the years. Solkar is a liaison officer but he probably wont be on the ship all the time. Other aliens will be on the ship and join the crew(put Neelix out of your mind) through out the series, but as you said, they will join for logical reasons. this is part of my attempt at avoiding the reset button after each story. There will be things that happen to crew members and aliens that have long term or permanent consequences.

    Yes, I have a select group of main characters that I will deeply flesh out. But, I actually plan on coming up with the entire crew of eighty-four. I wont go into as much detail with them, but when a crew member dies, it should hurt. That's especially true with a crew this small.
     
  7. STEPhon IT

    STEPhon IT Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2010
    Location:
    Sunny California
    It's one of the great things about creating and interpreting characters. I think Tucker and Hoshi could be handled a lot better if someone has the imagination for it. I'm happy you're taking the challenge to actually do something with them which will give their characters a proper place in the Star Trek Universe. Go for it. Lets see where your mind goes? And don't be afraid to take them places some critics who's minds are just too small to comprehend.

    As for your Captain, I like the character, but is it possible you could reduce is name from Johnathan to NATHAN STILES, Captain of the Enterprise? Just because we've had a Johnathan Captain already and there's never been a Nathan or Nathaniel or Nathanial as a first name for a Commanding officer of the Enterprise on Star Trek.
     
  8. Sgt_G

    Sgt_G Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2013
    Location:
    USA
    Yeah, Captain Jonathan is on the TIME BANDIT. Oh maybe not, because it's not King Crab season. :biggrin:

    I do like the idea of making "John" into "Nate".

    By the way, did you happen to notice the thread I opened recently: "Crowd-source project: Create a character and help build a crew." If you had a character that didn't quite fit your ship, feel free to drop him/her on the list in the other thread.
     
  9. uniderth

    uniderth Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2009
    I'm still on the fence about renaming the Captain. I really want to to be the real version of Enterprise so I kind of want to have some sort of connection with the Captain's name. But at the same time I like that Nathan is shorter, and it is a tip of the hat to seaQuest.

    I haven't done much writing for this project, but in my spare time I've been creating a 3D model of the Enterprise and figuring out where everything goes. Because of this I've revised my shuttle compliment. It used to be two shuttles that could be fitted with a variety of attachments.

    Now it says this:

    Shuttlecraft

    The S.S. Enterprise is equipped with three shuttle craft, and two shuttlepods. One shuttle is warp capable, another is equipped for manned scientific missions, and the third is a cargo shuttle. All of these craft are designed to fit in a 2.5 x 5 meter cylinder. The science shuttle is a lifting body design. It can be be fitted with various attachments depending on mission needs. These attachments allow for long range, aquatic, or hazardous environment operations. The two shuttlepods are also lifting body design, but are smaller and must dock back to back to fit in the shuttle carrier pod.

    Becuase these craft (with the exception of the warp powered shuttle) may not be capable of reaching orbital velocity on many planets, the Enterprise utilizes a hybrid-rotating tether system to latch on to the shuttle and retrieve it.
     
  10. uniderth

    uniderth Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2009
    So I've been developing a website where I can bring all the information about this project together in one place. On this website I will have a section about what the state of humanity is. In there I have a blurb about one of the growing movements among humans. Here it is:

    UNARIUS
    The Universal Articulate Interdimensional Understanding of Science was founded in 1954 by Ernest Norman and his wife Ruth Norman. UNARIUS teaches that people can improve their lives in the present by dealing with trauma from their past lives. Through out the late 20th and early 21st centuries this group believed that humanity was just one among many other intelligent species in the galaxy. It was also believed that when humanity had improved itself a fleet of saucer-like spacecraft from 33 worlds would land atop one another on earth, interlocking to form a university to teach humanity the mysteries of the universe.

    This group remained largely obscure until after first contact with the Vulcanians in 2063. Following this event, UNARIUS rapidly acquired new members. In 2154 UNARIUS has grown to millions of members.


    Here is the 2154 UNARIUS logo I created.

    [​IMG]

    Yes, UNARIUS is a real group. They're really interesting. I'd like to think that if we make contact with extraterrestrials, we'd see a surge in ufo/extraterrestrial movements like we had in the 50's and 60s.