I just rewatched it. And first I have to say I always appreciate someone making the effort to put a film together and for not slavishly doing the typical thing. Kudos for that. Yeah, there are some technical quibbles, but at least there's some sense of directional continuity and framing that a lot of fanfilms just don't have clue one about.
That being said, I'm not super fond of the story and I'll try to articulate why.
I found the pace laggy. I especially found my attention wandering when she goes on about how wonderful he is.
I also found the shipboard and shuttlecraft scenes largely filler. His stealing a shuttle adds nothing to the story except an excuse to have scenes with other characters talking about how clever he is. Which raises...
The whole film is about how wonderful he is. He's so smart, clever, and then when Rose goes on and on about his good points... ugh. Gary Stu is right.
Rose's decision. My problem with this film has always centered around its slotting itself into a tired stereotype about a woman having to choose between love and career, something almost no one ever does with a male character. And how come younger him gets to be in uniform and she has to be "elegant"? It's also uncomfortable that he goes back to talk his future wife into being with him instead of, oh, I dunno, going back to share some special moment with her, or be there for her at a time he should have been but wasn't. She
did marry him ultimately, so he chose this moment to step back in time so he could hear her sing his praises?
That the subplot features yet another female character rejecting love for career reinforces my issues with the main story, and the implication that she's a walking icebox/Vulcan for her attitude, is
ew.
...
Now, I'm not suggesting that the following is
the way to do it, just how I'd have done it had someone had given me this script. I'd have stood it on its head... had him feel that he'd held
her back, and he went back to this crucial moment to give her every chance to make a different decision, then be surprised when she articulates why
she chooses him despite and because of all his faults.
Then again, I'd have cut the all the "universe puts people together" stuff because I chafe at the idea of destiny.
