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ST: Gibraltar - Prophets and Loss

Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 4

Admiral2 said:
Okay, that rocked!

"Gee, I wonder when escape pods started exploding?" :thumbsup: Classic!

And way to say "I toldja so", Yejokk!

That was just cool all around!

I have to agree. Wholeheartedly. The whole chapter was just ... masterful. Truly. I loved your development of the Alshain and their canine attributes and heritage, and the interaction with the Klingon and the clash of their "hunting styles." The scene with Sandhurst in the transporter room was wonderful. I love how you so subtly let us in on their histories, both personal and together, without just "narrating" it to us. And the whole last scene with the Angosians. Classic. Wonderful!

You must've been totally "in the zone" when you wrote this chapter, because it is one of your best ever -- IMHO -- and that's saying something! :thumbsup:
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 4

:) Much obliged, folks. I'm very pleased you enjoyed the chapter. The Alshain and the others are proving to be a great deal of fun to write for. There's much much more to follow.
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 4

DarKush said:
I don't know anything about the Alsatians.

Lol, Alsatians are a breed of dog - AKA German Shepherds, IIRC. ;)
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 4

To quote Ivanova, "Boom...Boom...BOOM!" Nice trick with the escape pods...sneaky...I like it. You're doing a good job developing the Alshain into being more than stereotypical 'space wolves' into a three dimensional race. There are layers and complexities to what's happening in the Briar Patch making Starfleet's intervention here a very tricky business...

Looks like fun! :)
 
Prophets and Loss - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

USS Gibraltar
Docked to Federation Starbase 12


Denise Murakawa strode down the narrow corridor on her way to Sickbay, returning from her meeting on the starbase with the chief medical officers from all the ships participating in the task force. As she navigated the passageways, Murakawa marveled that people could live and work aboard so small a vessel. She was used to the spacious corridors and living areas of a Nebula-class starship, and even though Gibraltar’s crew compliment was a relatively small one-hundred and forty souls, the ship still felt cramped. It was hard to believe that nearly a century earlier this same ship had supported a crew of over four-hundred. ‘They must have stacked them like cord wood,’ she thought sardonically.

She stepped into Sickbay to find the pre-mission staff briefing already underway. Although in her opinion these people were not on par with her hand-picked staff aboard the Sutherland, Murakawa trusted in their skill and professionalism sufficiently that she hadn’t felt it necessary to oversee the more mundane departmental tasks. Heading up a routine pre-operational logistics accounting was something Lt. Taiee could handle.

On her way towards her office, Murakawa paused, noticing the two EMH Mark I’s were activated and present among the nurses and med-techs as Taiee worked through a medical inventory checklist. The atmosphere of the meeting was noticeably casual, with various personnel laughing and joking as the admittedly boring inventory process continued. Denise didn’t object, in fact she worked to keep things light with her own staff to help cope with the pressures of the job.

Murakawa completed her daily quota of datawork, then spent an hour drawing up the ship’s specific operational plans for various contingencies, including planetary evacuation and mass casualty crises. She glanced up to see Taiee standing in the doorway.

The regularly good natured lieutenant was putting up a valiant front, remaining her jovial self for the benefit of her coworkers in Sickbay and the crew at large. Taiee was widely accepted as the ship’s unofficial morale officer, as well as the emotional rock upon which many of the crew anchored.

“You wanted to see me, Doctor?” Taiee struggled to keep her voice inflection neutral.

Murakawa, cognizant of Taiee’s discomfort, tried to choose her words carefully. “I noticed your medical holograms were activated during the meeting. Might I ask why?”

Taiee stepped a bit further into the room, clearly ill at ease with being on this side of the desk. “They’re part of the medical team,” she replied succinctly.

“The EMH is supposed to be a short-term emergency supplement to a ship’s medical staff, Lieutenant.”

Taiee frowned, “Perhaps that’s the case aboard larger ships with more abundant medical resources, Doctor. However, without a physician’s knowledge base, I rely on our holograms for assistance in everything from diagnoses to surgery.”

Murakawa shook her head, “That’s unacceptable. You’re using them as a crutch, one that will ultimately undermine your own skills and judgment.”

“A crutch?” Taiee echoed incredulously. She gestured through the transparent partition towards the EMH that was still online. She’d left it activated to teach a refresher to the medical staff on staunching arterial bleeding, utilizing a holographic victim. The nurses and med-techs looked on with rapt attention, in stark contrast to their earlier levity.

Pointing to the hologram, Taiee struggled to keep the mounting anger out of her voice, “The EHM contains every piece of medical knowledge ever compiled by the Federation, Doctor. Two hundred years of accumulated brilliance… Phlox, Darvanger, Carrington, McCoy, Pulaski… their ideas, their skills, they’re all in there. How could I not use such a phenomenal resource?”

Murakawa nodded, “I agree wholeheartedly that they’re a useful tool, Lieutenant. However, becoming dependant upon them risks not only losing your edge, but ultimately endangers the welfare of your patients.”

Taiee folded her arms across her chest in an unconsciously defensive gesture. “I’ve managed without them before.”

“I’m sure you have, but as acting CMO it’s my job to make sure that you’re prepared to take on a medical crisis without having to rely on the hologram for help.”

The lieutenant stared expectantly, “What are you suggesting, Doctor?”

“Are you familiar with a 24/QPS?” Murakawa studied the nurse-practitioner’s face, aware that her response would demonstrate just what kind of medical professional she was.

Taiee stiffened slightly. “Yes. It’s a twenty-four hour quarantine protocol scenario. It’s a pre-graduation exercise for doctors in their final year at Starfleet Medical Academy. A simulated pathogen infects a starship crew, and the medical staff has twenty-four hours under deteriorating circumstances to identify and treat the infection.”

Murakawa smiled. “Precisely. And to make things more interesting, the simulation takes place in circumstances where the starship in question has lost portions of its computer core memory. As the scenario progresses you’re going to lose access to more and more of the medical database, so time is most definitely not on your side.”

Taiee’s face took on a defiant cast. “When does this begin?”

“Report to Holosuite 2 with these people at 13:00 hours.” The doctor handed Taiee a padd containing the names of eight of the ship’s medical personnel selected at random.

Taiee turned to leave, pausing on the threshold. “Has Captain San—“

Murakawa replied curtly, cutting off Taiee’s line of inquiry. “The captain has already approved this training, Lieutenant.” She directed her most confident smile at the nurse. “Despite what you may think, this isn’t a punishment, or me trying to grind you down. You’re a good CMO, but you could be better. I’d like you to see for yourself what you’re capable of.”

Taiee left without another word, deep in thought and succumbing to a growing sense of anxiety.

*****

Alshain Heavy Cruiser Venska
In orbit of Son’a administrated Tarlac colony Norfander XII


Captain Yejokk looked on with obvious distaste as Sutahr R’Voss placed the targeting reticule directly over the central urbanized area of the Tarlac colony on the surface. Drawing his lips back, R’Voss exposed his glistening teeth to the Klingon officer. “You disapprove, Captain?”

“Slaying your enemies in battle is one thing, Sutahr. Slaughtering the helpless from orbit may be effective, but it is not the way of the warrior.”

“What would you have me do, Klingon?” R’Voss brought himself to his full bipedal height, though his species was equally comfortable moving on either two or four limbs. “They are the foot soldiers of my enemy. If I leave them, they and future generations might take the lives of my kin in battle.” His smile became ever more predatory. “Besides, they are only Tarlac. If it had not been for the Son’a’s interference, these creatures would still be drawing on cave walls with charcoal. Instead, they have warships and phasers and swear allegiance to their Son’a masters.”

Yejokk stepped forward. “Beam down, and engage them in person, Sutahr. I do not object to your killing them, but at least show them the respect of looking them in the eye as the deed is done. Give them a chance to defend themselves as men, to die on their feet.”

Snuffling with laughter, R’Voss’ ears twitched in an Alshain approximation of a head shake. “Sometimes I find it difficult to believe your people overcame the Dominion, Captain. Your antiquated code of honor belongs to an age where men fought one another with bows and swords.”

Yejokk’s cold smile was tinged with irony, “Perhaps, but it serves us.”

Turning to complete the targeting process, R’Voss aimed the Son’a manufactured isolytic subspace weapon at the planet’s surface, targeting the two-hundred thousand plus inhabitants of the world’s capitol city. “It will appear that the Son’a, fearing that this planet would fall into our hands, decided to cleanse it with fire rather than allow the Tarlac to live under Alshain rule.”

“I’m curious. Exactly how did such weaponry fall into your hands, Sutahr?”

R’Voss grinned fiercely, “Their arms depot at Wuan’bado was the target of our first attack against the Son’a Imperium. We took possession of a cache of these devices.”

“Use of such armaments is a flagrant violation of the second Khitomer Accords,” Yejokk offered, his tone carefully impartial, “to which the Alshain are a signatory.”

The Alshain captain turned to look at his Klingon counterpart. “As is your covertly providing cloaking technology to our government.”

Yejokk found himself returning the Alshain’s toothy smile. “An excellent point, Sutahr.” He moved to a vantage point offering a better view of the main screen. “Do we know what effect this weapon will have on a planetary body?”

R’Voss released control of the weapons console to his tactical officer, moving to sit in his command chair. “In fact I have no idea.” Glancing sidelong at his Klingon advisor, the sutahr said, “Let us find out together, shall we?”

*****

Eiayna City, Tarlac colony Norfander XII

Ancient Tarlac myth told of a Judgment Day, a day on which the demons of old would tear the sky asunder and boil the seas. Although the threat of attack by the Alshain had spurred much of the population to near panic, few would have believed that the day to end all days would have arrived on this day.

The isolytic weapon detonated some thirty kilometers above the city, causing a subspace shear and sending out a shockwave measuring at over one-hundred isotons. Just seconds prior to the overpressure wave annihilating the city, the subspace wave front swept across the surface, a bizarre confluence of energies forcibly pushing peoples’ consciousness out of their bodies. Each and every one of the Tarlac witnessed the demise of their physical forms from a surreal out-of-body perspective. Then the overpressure front pulverized the entire continent and blasted the seas in that hemisphere into superheated steam.

The Venska witnessed the death of Norfander XII as the ship thrust away from the stricken world at half-impulse. A monstrous shockwave swelled out from ground zero, spreading across the planet at thousands of kilometers per hour. The subspace tear upset the gravitational balance of the planet’s orbit, shifting the planet off its axis as R’Voss’ ship was tossed about like flotsam on a tidal wave.

As the Alshain captain pulled himself back into his chair, he stared with near disbelief at the image of the shattered planet, shocked from its gravitational plane. Glancing to Yejokk as the captain struggled to his feet, he exclaimed, “Now we know…”

*****

Forward Observation Post B'hala
Aulerg Moon
The Briar Patch (Klach D'Kel Brakt)


The pressure door hissed open, light pouring through the opening that forced Anij to shield her eyes against the unexpected intrusion. She could discern the form of a man standing in the doorway, but it was not until she heard his voice that the ember of hope in her heart grew to an open flame. “Gallatin!”

He embraced her tightly, picking her up off her feet, happy to know he had at least one friend left in the cruel universe that had so recently claimed most of his dying race. “It’s alright, Anij. We’re safe for the moment.”

“Where are we?”

He lowered her to the floor, taking her hand and leading her slowly out into a bare, cement-walled corridor. “We’re on a moon, though I’m not entirely sure in what star system. Some of the Son’a are here, along with a new ally.”

She looked at him after a cursory examination of her new surroundings. “What’s happening, Gallatin? Why did the Alshain attack our world? What did you and the others do to provoke them?”

It was a perfectly valid question under the circumstances, despite the discomfort it generated within Gallatin. He led her to a small lounge of sorts, though it was bereft of any windows it boasted a dozen tables and some primitive looking food replicator units. They sat, Gallatin trying to find the right words under Anij’s expectant gaze.

“When our group was first exiled from home, we set out to make an empire for ourselves. However, we had nothing but a handful of old ships, and the technology that you, our parents, had abandoned when you settled Ba’ku. We discovered races like the Tarlac and Ellora nearby, primitive by our standards, but they were easily controlled and we convinced them that we were their gods. We forced them to work for us, made them soldiers and laborers, settled them on uninhabited planets so their numbers would grow.”

Anij’s eyes glistened as she absorbed the litany of the Son’a’s crimes.

Gallatin continued reluctantly, “But then we came across the Alshain Exarchate, whose empire hemmed us in and threatened our acquisition of new territories. They were an ancient power, now in decline. Generations ago they controlled a sizeable portion of the Alpha and Beta quadrants, but their empire was now a mere shadow of its former glory. We were still no match for them in a direct confrontation, so we decided to take another path.”

He took a moment to retrieve a hot, heady smelling drink from one of the replicator slots as he struggled to contain his grief and embarrassment. Returning to the table, Gallatin accepted Anij’s offered hand has he resumed the difficult tale. “We manufactured a potent narcotic, ketracel-white, and introduced it to the ruling nobility of the Alshain. We became the sole suppliers of this drug, and we used their addiction to the white to influence and manipulate generations of their leadership. We stole their technology, annexed their territory, and undermined their society at every opportunity. Most of our industrial and military strength came at the expense of the Exarchate.”

Tears streamed down Anij’s cheeks, her eyes wide with shock and revulsion. “So, they have just cause to hate you. To hate us…”

Gallatin nodded ashamedly, “They do indeed.”

“But why now? What brought all this to a head?”

Looking down at his cup, Gallatin said, “After the Federation thwarted our attempts at collecting your planet’s metaphasic radiation, the Son’a allied themselves with the Dominion, an aggressive power from the Gamma quadrant determined to conquer the known galaxy. The Alshain took this opportunity to join the Federation alliance opposing the Dominion.”

He took a long draught of his drink with a shaking hand. “Our side lost, and now the Alshain have set about collecting the spoils of war. They wish to re-establish the Greater Alshain of ages past, and in so doing they’re intent on wiping out the Son’a, our servant races…” He looked up, meeting Anij’s unwavering gaze, “…and our parent race.”

She collected herself, holding her anguish in check for the moment. “What are we to do, Gallatin? Can these new allies transport us to the Federation? Perhaps Jean-Luc and his people can help us?”

Gallatin finished his drink, appearing to have regained some of his composure following his difficult confessions. “The Federation has it’s own problems right now, I don’t think we’ll be seeing them anytime soon. But, the remaining Son’a and these Bajora Tava are planning something big, something that may slow the Alshain advance into the nebula.”

Her countenance darkened, “More fighting. More death.”

“That’s what it’s going to take for us to survive, Anij. The Alshain won’t rest until we’re all dead, or until the last handful of us have been pushed so far away from our homes that we’re no longer a threat.”

She shook her head dejectedly. “This all seems like a bad dream, a nightmare that refuses to end.”

He held her hand more tightly. “It will end, Anij. I promise you that. The few of us that remain will reclaim our heritage and retake our homeworld.”

“But at what price, Gallatin? What will remain of the Ba’ku soul at the end of such a conflict?”

He had no answer for her.

*****

Deck 6, USS Gibraltar
Federation Task Force Peacekeeper
Approaching the Briar Patch, Warp 7


Sandhurst stepped through the parting doors onto the turbolift, mildly surprised to find Ramirez inside. “Don’t you have the midwatch?” He asked.

She smirked, “I do, but Lt. Ashok was determined that I needed to see firsthand the adjustments he’d made to the impulse engines to decrease the likelihood of our overheating the impulse manifolds once we’re in the Briar Patch.”

The captain nodded, “Well, we’re seeing improvements in that respect. On Enterprise’s last visit they were restricted to one-third impulse. With the assistance of the SCE we can now achieve half-impulse, maybe better.”

Ramirez gave him an inscrutable look. “You sure you don’t want to go down there and check Ashok’s work, sir?”

“Bridge,” he ordered the computer. He cast a glance at Ramirez, “I’m sure that’d go over like gangbusters, Commander. The man’s already nursing an inferiority complex; I don’t need to heap any more anxiety on him.”

She smiled approvingly. “Good. I’m glad you’re finally giving him some space.”

“I had to. Have you seen the man? He’s a mountain.”

Ramirez chuckled lightly.

Sandhurst looked momentarily thoughtful, then ordered the turbolift to pause its ascent. Looking to his exec he asked, “Is it just me, or have things seemed a bit tense onboard in the past few days? I don’t mean pre-mission jitters; it’s something else, I think.”

“Let me ask you this,” Ramirez replied cryptically, “Who’s the person that keeps us all on an even keel emotionally?”

“That’s easy, it’s Taiee.”

Ramirez smiled patiently at Sandhurst’s perplexed expression, letting the man work it out for himself.

He winced slightly after a moment, “Oh. Dr. Murakawa’s test.”

“Right.” She chided gently, “From her perspective, you had her replaced by a new CMO who’s now calling her abilities into doubt publicly by putting her through some very difficult testing of questionable necessity.”

Sandhurst frowned, “I thought the 24/QPS sounded like a good idea. Taiee’s very capable, and I felt this testing would only serve to enhance her abilities.”

Looking unconvinced, Ramirez replied, “Your intentions may have been good, sir, but Taiee and her team failed the simulation. Now, she’s angry and embarrassed, and you’re seeing that mood reflected by a large portion of the crew that she’d normally be helping to keep in good spirits.”

He sighed, closing his eyes. “Damn it.”

His exec nodded, “Just so, Captain.”

“Resume,” Sandhurst ordered, and they continued their journey upward.

The two officers, each lost in their own thoughts, exited onto the bridge. The magnificent panorama of Klach D'Kel Brakt filled the main viewer.

Lt. Lar’ragos nodded to the captain and XO from the stand-alone Tactical station as the pair assumed their respective posts. The Chief Security/Tactical officer offered a status report, “ETA to the entry portal is fifteen minutes, sir. Enterprise has ordered us to reduce speed to one-quarter impulse as we approach. All vessels are scanning actively for any sign of threat activity.”

“Acknowledged, Mr. Lar’ragos,” Sandhurst responded, initialing a fuel consumption log with his thumbprint for the Chief Operations officer, Lt(jg). Olivia Juneau.

Juneau resumed her station at the crescent shaped console in the bridge’s well, taking a seat next to the Flight Control officer, Ensign Brett Lightner. The ensign’s gaze remained fixed on the approaching nebula, and he leaned in towards Juneau, remarking, “Can you believe the Klingons and Romulans fought a war inside there?”

Juneau looked up, giving the orange and crimson nebular cloud a dismissive glance. “It was a battle, not a war. And now it appears it’ll be our turn.”

Lightner quirked an eyebrow, “Fatalistic much?”

She laughed without humor, “Simply extrapolating based on our track record to date.”

From behind them at her station in the well, Ramirez cleared her throat loudly, asking, “Would you kids like to share with the rest of the class?”

“No, ma’am,” they replied in unison, using their most petulant child-like tones.

In the command chair, Sandhurst smirked slightly at the exchange. “Let’s keep our eyes open, folks. There’s a lot of people unhappy about our presence here.”

From behind him at the Tactical station, Lar’ragos intoned, “Injun country, aye, sir.”

*****

USS Enterprise
Federation Task Force Peacekeeper
Approaching the Briar Patch, Warp 7


Captain Picard leaned forward in his seat, the anticipation of their arrival at the nebula causing his skin to tingle. He was too much the professional to allow his crew to sense his excitement, however. Anyone other than Counselor Troi. “Mr. Data, order the task force to drop to one-quarter impulse on your mark for nebular entry.”

“Aye, sir.” Data replied evenly, relaying the instructions to the rest of the starships. As the task force dropped to sublight, the android’s board chirped insistently, and he quickly distilled the incoming sensor information for his captain. “Sir, we have located what appears to be a fixed communications buoy in the center of the entry conduit.” Another chime from the sensors presaged his assessment, “It appears we are being scanned, Captain.”

“Yellow alert, shields to full,” barked Riker from the seat to Picard’s right.

“Incoming transmission from the buoy,” announced the Tactical officer, “Audio only.”

“On speakers,” Picard ordered.

“Federation vessels, be advised that a state of hostilities exists within the nebula between the Alshain Exarchate and the Son’a Imperium…”

“It appears we were expected,” Riker noted sotto voce to Picard.

“…Any attempts to interfere in the internal affairs of the Exarchate will be interpreted as an act of war. It is strongly recommended that you reverse course and avoid the Klach D'Kel Brakt until such time as hostilities have been concluded.”

The message repeated, and Picard motioned for its termination with a cutting gesture at his throat. Standing and tugging at his uniform, he pursed his lips thoughtfully. “Any signs of anomalous activity aside from the buoy, Data?”

“No, sir.”

Lt. Commander N’Saba, the Alshain Starfleet officer turned from the Science station to observe the captain. Unbidden, he offered his thoughts regardless. “You may be assured, Captain, that they mean what they say. They’ve also made a point to avoid clearly establishing exactly what constitutes ‘interference.’”

Riker craned his neck to look at the supercilious lupanoid, “Then how are we to know when we’ve crossed that line, Mr. N’Saba?”

“When they open fire, Commander,” was his terse reply.

“Very well.” Picard crossed his arms, moving to a position between the Helm and Operations consoles. “Inform the task force, all ships to red alert. All ahead at one-quarter, Enterprise has the lead.”

*****
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 5

More solid writing. I really enjoyed all of the character interaction. Gallatin's explanation to Anij gave a lot of backstory in a very succinct way. I like the comparisons between how the Klingons and Alshain conduct war.

I also like how you are fleshing out Taiee, and using Murakawa as something of an obstacle for her.

Your inclusion of N'Saba and his unbidden comments are so very in character.
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 5

You're doing an excellent job with Denise--Taiee's definitely being tested and tempered now, but she'll emerge all the better for it.

The backstory on the Alshain and Son'a is also coming along nicely--in both cases, their actions have and will come back to bite them on the backsides. I have a feeling also that Picard's leading with his heart here is going to have dire consequences indeed.
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 5

And once again, I have to agree, this was another wonderful installment. I really like the whole Taiee-Murakawa-24/QPS sub-plot. Very nice and nicely worked into the story as a whole (rather than making it a stand alone.)

And, again, I thought you did a fantastic job in that scene between Yejokk and R'Voss. I loved Yejokk's line, "Perhaps, but it serves us." It so succinctly described the Klingon ethos and the contrast with the Alshain.

And finally, again, I think you do a wonderful job of capturing established characters (Picard, Riker and Data); their speech patterns, manerisms, etc.

On that note, though, I have to admit I'm just not being thrilled by Anij. She just seems like such a ... wimp. But, in light of what I said immediately above, I'm beginning to think that's because you may well have captured her character perfectly, and that maybe I just don't like that character. I can't recall how I felt about her after Insurrection, but think I may have to go back and re-watch that to get an idea.

I have to add that I thought you handled that scene between her and Galatin very well, by the way. I liked how you got pretty extensively into the Son'a history while avoiding the trap of actually listing for the reader the entire "litany" (as you so appropriately reference). One question in this regard: is the Son'a creation of ketracel-white something you've created or something already established by another writer in your shared universe? An interesting revelation, either way.

Can't wait for Chapter 6!

LOL! And, just so you know how much a part of my life your writing has become, I realized last night that my only regret about my upcoming vacation is that I'll be away from my computer for 10 days and won't be able to keep up with your progress. :cool: I made the mistake of mentioning that fact to "The Hubby" and got this face: :wtf: followed very closely by :rolleyes:

Whadda ya gonna do? I'm addicted. :D
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 5

Thanks for your comments, folks. :) Your feedback always makes my day.

TrekkieMonster said:On that note, though, I have to admit I'm just not being thrilled by Anij. She just seems like such a ... wimp. But, in light of what I said immediately above, I'm beginning to think that's because you may well have captured her character perfectly, and that maybe I just don't like that character. I can't recall how I felt about her after Insurrection, but think I may have to go back and re-watch that to get an idea.
Well, making her a 'wimp' certainly hasn't been my intention. I wanted to show her as being caught up in circumstances beyond her control, having suffered her species being nearly extinguished. She'll find her strength eventually, but it'll take her awhile to find her footing.

One question in this regard: is the Son'a creation of ketracel-white something you've created or something already established by another writer in your shared universe?
Actually, their production of K-white was established in Insurrection, and their alliance with the Dominion was referenced on DS9.

LOL! And, just so you know how much a part of my life your writing has become, I realized last night that my only regret about my upcoming vacation is that I'll be away from my computer for 10 days and won't be able to keep up with your progress. :cool: I made the mistake of mentioning that fact to "The Hubby" and got this face: :wtf: followed very closely by :rolleyes:

Whadda ya gonna do? I'm addicted. :D
Well, rest assured any cruise ship worth its anchor will have an internet library or cafe set up. Sure it'll cost you like $3.00 per minute to use their satellite link, but I'm worth the cost, aren't I? :guffaw:
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 5

I do apologize for my rather blunt assessment of Anij. Probably just me.

I really do have to re-watch Insurrection, as I definitely missed the reference to k-white. And, as I said, I like the idea and the inclusion of its use to overcome the Alshain.

And finally, you're right about the ship having internet access. I think I sort of blocked it out, though, after our last ill-fated trip in March. After the fire, the only way we could get any information or communicate with anyone at home was on the computers in the "business center." I spent so much time in there -- and none of it happy -- I seriously think I must have just completely blocked its existence from my mind. :borg:

But, you're right, that'll be an ideal way for me to get my "fix." I'm "Platinum" now with this cruise line, so the access is free ... but they charge an arm and a leg for printer paper. :p
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 5

Well I certainly don't want to give anybody the impression I'm not still reading this (:lol:) and immensly enjoyin it too.

I'm still a bit worried about the role Picard and the Enterprise is having in all this. Picking the setting of the Briar Patch and brining back the Son'a and co is still inspired though.

Also I'm a sucker for internal tension and you seem to have set up plenty here ... All around terrific stuff.
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 5

When is Chapter 6 coming? I'm all caught up now and can't wait for the next thrilling part. Anymore surprises to come along? Another thing, are you following the DS9 Relaunch series too?
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 5

Actually, in the DarKush/DavidFalkayn/Gibraltar shared Trekverse, DarKush has established his own crew aboard DS9. So, we're true to our own established history, but are not following the canon books.

Thanks for the compliments, Chapter 6 should be up by the end of the week. :)
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 5

Gibraltar said:
Actually, in the DarKush/DavidFalkayn/Gibraltar shared Trekverse, DarKush has established his own crew aboard DS9. So, we're true to our own established history, but are not following the canon books.

Thanks for the compliments, Chapter 6 should be up by the end of the week. :)

Eagerly awaiting the next chapter as well. But I must admit to a quibble. The DS9 relaunch is no more 'canon' than what we are doing IMO.
 
Prophets and Loss - Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Gibraltar’s crew lounge had stubbornly resisted being named since the ship had been launched nearly six months earlier. Various titles, some clever, others not, had been floated and rejected by the senior staff. Other vessels had created elaborate themes for their recreational facilities, modeling them after famous bars of bygone eras or holographically altering them to appear to be in exotic locales like a dense rainforest or a cloud city. The recreation center aboard this ship was utilitarian, and as such was simply referred to as ‘the lounge.’

Pell Ojana entered the rec center, stopping just inside the doors to marvel at the unobstructed splendor of the Briar Patch on the other side of the room’s large rectangular viewports. Tearing her eyes away from the spectacle, she scanned the compartment for a recognizable face, finally settling on the solitary form of Liana Ramirez occupying a table right beside the windows.

Procuring a synthale from one of the replicators lining the inside bulkhead, she approached Ramirez’s table. “Mind if I join you, sir?”

Ramirez had been engrossed in the contents of a padd, and looked up suddenly at the interruption. Deactivating the device, she set it aside, “By all means, Commander.”

Pell slid into the chair, directing a friendly smile at the first officer. “Quite the ship and crew you have here, sir.”

Returning the smile, Ramirez replied, “Thank you, and you can call me Liana. No need for formalities off duty.”

Pell bobbed her head. “Very well, please call me Ojana.”

“How are you settling in, Ojana?”

“Well enough, I suppose. New ship, new faces…” she brushed her hair back, looking chagrined, “… new captain.”

Ramirez studied her. “Is that going to be a problem for you?”

Unable to distinguish how much Ramirez knew of she and Donald’s past, Pell stared self-consciously at her drink. “I wouldn’t have thought so, but it’s turning out to be a bit more challenging than I’d imagined.”

Taking a sip from her mug, Ramirez offered, “One of those complicated relationships?”

“Are there any other kind?” Pell gestured to the padd, blatantly reaching for a change of subject. “Anything interesting?”

Ramirez chuckled darkly, “Speaking of complicated,” she held up the padd. “It’s the sum total of the Federation’s historical and sociological knowledge on the Alshain.”

Pell looked genuinely interested. “I’ve been dipping into that myself, but it’s slow going. Their entire society is like a living mass of contradictions.”

Rubbing her eyes, Ramirez mock groaned in agreement. “Tell me about it. I thought the Cardassians were hard to grasp.”

The diplomatic officer raised an eyebrow. “You’ve studied the Cardassians?”

Ramirez nodded, “And the Klingons. I had a two year Robert Fox fellowship to Harvard’s Kennedy School of Government.”

“Their intercultural studies program?” The Bajoran looked perplexed. “I… thought you were a security officer before going into command?”

“That’s right,” Ramirez said diffidently, watching Pell for a reaction.

Pell blushed, “I’m sorry, the only people I’ve known who’ve been through that course are in the diplomatic corps or are egghead intellectuals. You don’t fit the stereotype.”

The XO smirked, “That’s me. I just leave the tobacco pipe and the tweed jacket in my quarters.”

That drew a blank look from the Bajoran, who stared at Liana questioningly.

“Sorry, Terran collegiate reference.” Ramirez squinted, thinking of an analogous Bajoran example. “Something like a Vedek scholar’s donzl shawl and ear-pick.”

Pell laughed loudly at the image, “Alright, now I get it.” After a moment’s levity, she glanced out the viewport and seemed lost in thought for a brief time. Looking back at Ramirez she inquired, “What’s your take on all this, Liana? How long are the Alshain likely to let us stomp around in their backyard?”

Ramirez grew somber. “Not long, I’m afraid. They’re a proud people, and their feud with the Son’a goes back a long ways. I’m worried Picard’s putting too much faith in our current alliance, and isn’t taking their cultural hubris into account.”

Looking tense, Pell nodded, “That would be my assessment as well. Hopefully, the Federation can make some ground diplomatically with the Exarchate and head off any unpleasantness.” She took a sip of her synthale, “Regardless, we should proceed with caution.”

“Oh, we always proceed with caution, Ojana. Not that it seems to matter much.”

Pell frowned, “Pardon?”

“Like the Aegis and the Enterprise, our ship isn’t forced to go looking for trouble. It usually finds us first.”

Her expression darkening, Pell sighed. “Oh, you’re one of those ships.”

Ramirez raised her mug in response, “Welcome to The Rock.”

*****

Ascent to the Hall of Ministries
Central Ministries Complex, Governance Archology
Alshain Proper


Federation Ambassador Xin Dejong ascended the seemingly endless flight of broad stairs carved from Lurian bloodstone. He paid little heed to the forest of massive columns that bracketed the stairway like a phalanx of giant guards, clearly a gesture meant to inspire wonder and dread.

He could have taken the lift, of course, or beamed in, but the Alshain architects of this monstrous building-city had intended the path to the Hall of Ministries to be a test of endurance for foreign dignitaries. It would be a shame to disappoint them.

The structure was designed to awe the outsiders who shuffled up these steps to grovel in supplication before the Exarch’s throne and the august offices of his Bloodling kin. When Greater Alshain had ruled this region of space millennia before, a long line of slaves, vassals, and clients had made this trek under the menacing gaze and tritanium manacles of their Alshain overlords.

The capitol city was impressive, that was undeniable fact. The famed Alshain arcologies had held a place among the catalogued galactic wonders since before the Romulan/Vulcan schism. Each rising more than five kilometers into the sky, the giant wedge-shaped crescents were fully contained city habitats, each home to millions. All agricultural operations were carried out on nearby client worlds, so that the homeworld would remain unpolluted by the stigma of something so mundane as agrarian toil. The remainder of Alshain Proper was a lush natural preserve, untouched save for the occasional hunting forays by their society’s elite.

Six months before he’d replaced her, Dejong’s predecessor at this post had recommended he familiarize himself with the history and politics of the Terran Roman republic and early empire. Xin had obligingly done so, despite being confused as to the connection between the two. Now entering his second year of this ambassadorship, he understood what the woman had been getting at.

Alshain politics were a complex web of familial, clan, corporate, and military relationships that defied the ability of Federation exosociologists to easily classify. The great houses, or Septs as they were called, were the primary focus of Alshain society, especially among the elite nobility. And despite their haughty demeanor and militaristic bent, buried deep within the Alshain psyche was an almost pathological need to be accepted within the greater galactic community.

For untold generations, the Alshain had been viewed by their neighbors as little more than mindless space-faring predators, an irregular evolutionary combination of primitive barbarity coupled with high technology. As a result, the ruling nobility of their species had made a point to transform themselves into the pinnacle of civilization. They’d establishing elaborately codified laws regulating behavior, speech, dress and all other aspects of their social interactions.

It had been the pursuit of such ideals that had eventually led to the neglectful collapse of their empire. The great, avaricious eye of Alshain society had turned inward, growing increasingly obsessed with the trappings of power and prestige. Their dominance over neighboring systems had begun to crumble at the edges, helped along by repeated incursions by the nomadic Hur’q horde as well as uprisings among their own vassal worlds.

Dejong paused a moment to catch his breath, having reached the top of the nearly quarter-kilometer tall stairway. He made sure to straighten the folds of his formal tunic and make himself presentable for his meeting with the Minister of War. It was a testament to Alshain obstinacy that they had no foreign ministry. All diplomatic matters, as well as military ones, were handled by the Ministry of War.

Whisked through additional security check points, the ambassador soon found himself in the antechamber just outside the war minister’s private office. Dejong had learned early on to judge the seriousness of diplomatic situations between their peoples by how long he was forced to wait before his audience with members of the Alshain leadership.

His wait was startlingly brief, clearly not a good sign. The minister’s aide ushered him inside the extravagantly large office. It was adorned with the spoils of millennia of Alshain conquest. Death masks from Itrob, an ancient Klingon projectile rifle, and the gauntlet of some unfortunate Gorn captain were but a few of the trinkets on display for his edification.

“Ambassador Dejong, welcome.” Xin turned at the sound of his name, bowing formally as the Minister of War, Orthlin C’Oemnm entered, clad in ornately flowing robes dotted with runic script, each symbol an allusion to an ancient Alshain victory over their enemies. He was tall, even for an Alshain, and his fur was a mottled grey now running to white in his declining years.

Dejong, on the other hand, was of medium height for a human. In his sole to concession to vanity, he colored his hair to retain the jet-black hue of his youth. Of Chinese ancestry, Dejong’s forebears had immigrated to Malaysia in the mid 21st century, thus avoiding the thermonuclear holocaust visited upon China in the Third World War. His family had narrowly avoided being wiped out by a scant matter of months, a fact that had been passed on from generation to generation. As a result, Xin was especially sensitive to the kinds of horrors taking place at present within the Briar Patch.

C’Oemnm moved past the enormous desk to a sitting area, gesturing for Dejong to take a seat in a chair clearly designed for the body type of visiting humanoids. The minister sat across from him, gathering his robes over one arm and lowering himself into the chair with all the delicacy of a 17th century French courtier.

“We appreciate you seeing us on such short notice, Mr. Ambassador.” C’Oemnm spoke in the royal second person, yet another bizarre affectation of the Alshain ruling class.

Dejong bobbed his head, “I am at your disposal, Minister.”

“We are greatly concerned with this unexpected Federation intrusion into the Klach D'Kel Brakt.” Xin still marveled that for all their audacity, the Alshain insisted on calling the nebula by its Klingon designation. It was, he’d been told, an intentional reminder among the Alshain of the crushing defeat they’d suffered there at the hands of the Klingon Empire centuries earlier. That battle had marked the end of the Alshain hegemony over the region and brought home to them the reality of their nation’s decline.

“Respectfully, Minister, we announced our intentions to your ambassador on earth a full three weeks ago. As you already know, the Starfleet presence entering the nebula is there solely to try and stop what we see as unfortunate and unnecessary bloodshed.”

The Alshain’s ears twitched with irritation, “What you call unnecessary bloodshed, Mr. Ambassador, we call justice.”

Touching his fingertips together, Dejong steepled his hands as he considered his reply. “I understand the reasons for your people’s deep-seated animosity towards the Son’a, Minister, but they are already beaten. After the armistice, they’d agreed to territorial concessions, both to you and to the Klingon Empire before the Alshain Starforce began this new campaign of ethnic cleansing.”

C’Oemnm gestured pointedly at the human. “No. Not ‘ethnic cleansing.’ We are retaking territory that is rightfully ours. It was ours before the Son’a settled in the nebula, and it remains ours. We gave them an ultimatum before our attacks began, leave or be destroyed. They elected to stay and fight.”

Wisely conceding the point with a nod, Dejong replied, “Be that as it may, Minister, the Federation would hope at the very least to be allowed to evacuate the Son’a, Tarlac, and Ellora survivors from the war zone.”

The minister drew back his lips, exposing a mouthful of fearsome teeth. “To what end, Mr. Ambassador? So they can regroup under the umbrella of Federation protection and return generations from now to avenge themselves upon us?” C’Oemnm traced the lines of one of the runic symbols on his robes with a wickedly honed claw, “You Federation types think in such limited time spans. The Exarchate has endured for thousands of years. Thus, we seek to predict the motivations not only of our current enemies, but those who might oppose us centuries from now.”

Dejong smiled, rising to meet C’Oemnm’s implied challenge. “And where does the Federation figure into your long-range predictions?”

The minister sat back, taking a good half minute to ponder the question. “We have been allies of necessity, opposing the Dominion assault on the Alpha quadrant. Now that the war has ended, it is clear that the Federation’s adherence to its democratic ideals are incompatible with the Exarchate’s monarchical system and political goals.” He leaned forward, ears flattening in an aggressive gesture, “Rest assured, you may have brought the Klingons to heel, but we will never submit.”

Laughing dismissively, Dejong shook his head. “I very much doubt the Klingons see themselves as having been conquered, Minister. Just four years ago, we were at war with them.”

C’Oemnm smiled mercilessly, “The last, dying gasp of the empire’s independence, encouraged by Dominion intrigues. The Klingons, like us, are hemmed in on all sides.” Sitting back slightly in his throne-like chair, he continued. “The Exarchate realizes that the Federation will ultimately seek to strangle us into submission. Once our home systems are engulfed and surrounded by Federation members, you will seek to undermine our monarchy and spread your democratic ideals among the lower strata of our population.” Baring his glistening teeth, he said in a low voice, “You are to be congratulated on your cunning. In your own way, you are as insidious as the Borg.”

Dejong shifted uncomfortably in his seat, shocked at this new insight into the Alshains’ collective paranoia. “Minister, the Federation has no plans, be they near-term or long-range, for the destruction of the Exarchate. I’m sorry if you see our actions in the Briar Patch as being indicative of a plot against you, but that’s simply not the case.” He sat forward, determined not to be cowed by the minister’s bluster. “To be perfectly blunt, despite the fact that your people were stalwart allies to us during the war, your current behavior towards the Son’a and their client peoples is an embarrassment to the Federation. What you’re doing in the Briar Patch is a violation of every tenet of civilized conduct.”

The minister’s upper lip quivered in an approximation of a sneer, “You needn’t worry yourself about the vagaries of our alliance anymore, Mr. Ambassador.” Reaching into the folds of his robes, C’Oemnm produced a parchment scroll, and handed it over to the Federation ambassador.

Opening the document slowly, Dejong found that like all important official government papers of the Alshain, it had been written in the blood of some unfortunate member of the lower nobility whose name had been drawn by lottery. Xin fumbled for his optical translator unit, but C’Oemnm summarized its contents for him.

“It says that the non-aggression and mutual defense treaty between our peoples is in abeyance until such time as the situation in the Klach D'Kel Brakt has been resolved. Furthermore, any attempts by Starfleet to interfere in what is clearly an internal matter of national security for the Exarchate will be interpreted as an act of war against the Alshain people.”

Dejong frowned, exuding displeasure at this obvious political gambit. “This is an unfortunate and dangerous step backwards for both our peoples, Minister.”

C’Oemnm was unmoved. “If that is the case, then it is your Federation’s doing, Mr. Ambassador. We warned you repeatedly that the Exarchate would brook no interference in this matter, but you refused to listen.” Leaning forward even further, he emitted a low growl that raised the hairs on the back of Dejong’s neck. “A single misstep within the nebula and we’ll destroy every starship in your task force before gorging ourselves on the survivors.”

The ambassador was smart enough to detect the sudden and potentially lethal shift in their relationship. The importance of the information he now carried was a physical weight on his spine. Standing, Xin Dejong bowed again, more curtly this time. Forgoing any diplomatic pleasantries, he said simply, “I will convey your message, Minister.”

*****

Task Force Peacekeeper had threaded the needle and transitioned into the Briar Patch without incident. Enterprise had given the various ships their operational orders, and the flotilla had broken up, going their separate ways. Some would reconnoiter known Son’a colonies and suspected strongholds. Others would concentrate on the Tarlac and Ellora settlements, searching for survivors.

*****

Ready Room, USS Enterprise
Federation Task Force Peacekeeper
The Briar Patch (Klach D'Kel Brakt)


Picard was standing with his back to the door, gazing out the viewport as Riker entered. The strains of Donizetti’s Lucia di Lammamoor wafted through the air, giving Will pause. ‘That’s a tragic romance,’ he mused, trying to gauge his captain’s mood. ‘Definitely not a good sign.’ Picard had grown increasingly somber as the scope of the war crimes being committed by the Alshain was uncovered.

Riker cleared his throat, catching Picard’s attention. The captain turned, accepting the proffered padd in his XO’s hand. “Status?” he inquired as he muted the operatic tune.

“All ships are away with the exception of Bethesda and Gibraltar.” Riker gave Picard a questioning look, “And you’ve yet to tell us where we’re going.”

Picard favored his first officer with a smile that appeared to require a great deal of effort. “Captain’s prerogative, Number One.” He took his seat. “Did you have a destination in mind?”

Riker looked nonplussed, “I thought the Ba’ku planet would be a reasonably good place to start. Don’t you, sir?”

Looking up at Riker, Jean-Luc’s expression hardened. “We both know that’s not possible, Will. If I take the Enterprise anywhere near there, I’ll be accused of fabricating this entire mission to fulfill a personal agenda.”

Riker crossed his arms, “Respectfully, Captain, you’ve already been accused of that. It doesn’t change the fact that now Ba’ku’s therapeutic energies are common knowledge, the planet has taken on real strategic value.”

Giving his exec a curious look, Picard queried, “How so?”

“You don’t think the Alshain oligarchy already has plans to build a colony on Ba’ku? Their ruling class will add years to their lives frolicking in the literal fountain of youth. That alone would make this military offensive into the nebula worthwhile.”

Picard considered his words. “Perhaps, Number One. But there are planets out here supporting tens-of-thousands of inhabitants. I can’t very well justify making our first stop a colony of six-hundred, no matter its strategic value.” He closed his eyes briefly, “This is a mercy mission, after all.” The image of Anij floated in his mind’s eye. He’d never taken that promised shore leave among the Ba’ku; the war and its tumultuous aftermath had conspired to keep him firmly planted in the captain’s chair.

Riker nodded, “Understood, sir. The needs of the many…”

“Data to Picard.”

Grateful for the interruption, the captain tapped his compin. “Go ahead, Data.”

“We are receiving a priority communiqué from an Angosian vessel on approach. It appears to be a non-aligned medical ship, but its captain is utilizing a valid Starfleet Intelligence identification code.”

Picard reached out and toggled on his computer workstation. “Very well. Put it through to my terminal.”

“Aye, sir.”

Motioning for Riker to join him, both men read the brief yet disturbing report of the attack on the orbiting relief ships at Norfander XII. Picard scooted back from the desk, “Picard to Data. Thank our operative for his information, and have the Bethesda inquire as to whether they need to transfer over any of their patient load.” After a moment’s consideration, he added, “Tell them we’ll provide an escort out of the nebula.”

Glancing at Riker, Picard nodded toward the monitor. “There’s our mission. Once we’ve seen the Angosian vessel safely away, set course for the Norfander system, best speed.”

Riker moved for the exit, “Aye, Captain.” Pausing as the doors parted, the XO looked back over his shoulder, “And the Ba’ku planet?”

“Dispatch the Gibraltar, Commander.”

*****

USS Bellerophon
Federation Task Force Peacekeeper
Delta Arigulon System
The Briar Patch (Klach D'Kel Brakt)


Captain T’Agdi of Cait stood preternaturally still on her shaking bridge, seemingly unmoved by the fluctuations in the inertial dampeners as well as unaffected by the blaring klaxons. “Report,” she ordered stolidly.

Her Chief Engineer turned from where she’d been conferring with the duty officer at the engineering console, only to lose her footing and stumble face-first into the safety railing. T’Agdi winced sympathetically as the engineer writhed in agony on the floor, clutching at her broken nose and bemoaning her dislodged teeth.

Again, she uttered, “Report.”

The Tactical officer proved more efficient. “It appears we were struck by a gravitic mine, Captain. We’re registering serious damage to our starboard warp nacelle and impulse engine.”

The Operations officer chimed in with, “Initial casualty report is three confirmed dead, eight injured and two missing, sir.”

T’Agdi moved to a flickering auxiliary console, attempting to access data from the damaged panel without success. Looking back at the duty engineer, she inquired, “Status of transporters?”

“Offline, sir” came his apologetic response.

T’Agdi turned her attention to the main viewer. The planet they orbited was home to an Ellora colony of some fifteen-thousand people. Her first officer and a landing party of twenty-five had beamed down to begin arranging a limited evacuation of those most at- risk persons in their population.

Returning to her command chair, T’Agdi growled to the surrounding officers, “Find out how we missed that mine, and if there are any more out there.” Toggling the comms, she opened a channel to her executive officer on the planet. “This is the captain. We’ve struck a mine in orbit and taken heavy damage. We’re going to have to withdraw for the time being and effect repairs. As it stands, we’re practically defenseless.”

There was a long pause before her exec replied, “Understood, sir. Shall I assemble the team and beam back?”

“Transporters are out. We’ll have to shuttle you back aboard.”

There was another delay before he continued in a grave tone, “With respect, sir, our team would like permission to remain behind. The colony’s leaders and police force have already fled on the last of their ships, and the rest of the Ellora down here have nothing in the way of protection.”

The captain frowned, “You realize once we leave orbit, you’re on your own. An Alshain raiding party won’t take the time to differentiate targets down there.”

“I… we understand that, sir.”

Against her better judgment, T’Agdi acceded. “Permission granted, Mr. Sommerset. May fortune favor you all.”

“And you as well, sir. Away Team, out.”

*****

Main Bridge, USS Gibraltar

Lar’ragos was pulling the nightwatch duty officer’s post, seated comfortably in the command chair as he gazed at the image of their younger, larger sister ship on the main viewer. He idly studied the graceful lines of the Sovereign-class Enterprise, wondering how his career might have been different had he taken the post of Chief of Security/Tactical aboard that ship. Captain Picard had interviewed him for the job, and had seemed reasonably impressed with his credentials. But when the offer had finally come through, Lar’ragos had politely refused, taking the position aboard the Gibraltar instead.

It had been an interesting ride so far. He’d joined Sandhurst’s crew out of a sense of obligation to his old cadet classmate, the young man he’d tutored and shepherded through four tumultuous years at the academy. Lar’ragos had figured that Sandhurst would need his help and experience on his first command, and he’d been right. But the man who had once been his protégé has surpassed Lar’ragos both in rank and ability, demonstrating an affinity for command that the El-Aurian would not have believed possible only a few years before.

However, since his return from Betazed, Sandhurst had been reclusive and aloof. He’d met briefly with Lar’ragos, thanking Pava for saving his life, but had since avoided him in anything other than on-duty interactions. Lar’ragos supposed that was part of his healing process, perhaps an unconscious decision to avoid the people he most closely associated with his abduction and torture.

A series of beeps at the Tactical station behind him pulled the El-Aurian from his reverie. He glanced back, finding Tark looking at him with an inscrutable expression. “What do we have, Master Chief?”

“Our marching orders, Lieutenant.”

Giving the surly Tellarite an expectant look, Lar’ragos inquired, “Good news?”

Tark shrugged indifferently, “They’re all round rocks to me, sir.” He transferred Enterprise’s orders to a padd and handed it to the lieutenant.

Lar’ragos perused the information, faintly recalling a wartime report of the flagship’s encounter with the progenitors of the Son’a and a pitched battle in the nebula. He hummed softly to himself as he read, the words to the song echoing in his mind. ’Over the hills and o'er the main, to Flanders, Portugal and Spain… King George commands and we'll obey, over the hills and far away.’

*****
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 6

The die is cast. Picard and the Alshains have crossed the Rubicon. Very good character development here. I like how you've handled the canon characters--Picard and Riker's dialogue could easily have come from the series. The meeting between the Alshain minister and Federation diplomat was very well done with the Federation diplomat refusing to be intimidated. You're also doing an excellent job in world building with the Alshains.

Very nicely done.
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 6

Another great chapter. You've really taken my brief sketches/mentions of the Alshain and turned them into a viable, dangerous foe. Great job.
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 6

^^^Agreed. Nicely done, and looking forward to seeing more of them.
 
Re: Prophets and Loss - Chapter 6

I wish I could think of something to say other than “wow”. But, well …, wow.

First, I’m absolutely loving -- and SO impressed with -- what you’re doing with the Alshain. I was actually going to ask how much of the characterization and history was from Darkush and how much was original with you, but gauging by his post above, I gather most of this is you. I am positively awed by your subtle application of canine characteristics to this race. Everything from the description of their fur (and the graying), to the motion of their ears as it relates to their mood to the more subtle, “personality” traits, ranging from the feral ferocity to the “desire to please” (if you will) that is so common to so many domesticated canine species (I’m thinking here of the changes in their social structure that, apparently, led to their ultimate “demise”). I also thought the little bit about why they retained the Klingon name for the Briar Patch was a very nice touch and, again, added insight into the Alshain psyche. And finally (though I could go on much more), I thought it was a very nice touch making the comparison with Ancient Rome. It was a nice and concise way to give the reader an instant grounding in Alshain culture. Even readers with only the most rudimentary knowledge of Roman culture will at least have something to use by way of comparison.

In addition, one of the things I’ve always loved about your writing is how you explain and reveal so much through dialogue, instead of straight narration and exposition. The conversations between Ramirez and Pell, and that between C’Oemnm and Xin were prime examples of your talent in this regard at its best. By contrast, however, I think you also make very nice choices of when and how to simply narrate, such is Xin’s ruminations while climbing the steps. Just very nicely done.

Finally, as I mentioned before, I really appreciate your ability to capture the essence and “voices” of established characters, such as in the scene between Riker and Picard. It was a very nice set up, and gave us a good and compelling reason why Gibralter would end up at the Ba’ku planet. I think you’re also doing a wonderful job so far of sprinkling in small scenes with the Enterprise crew (and others), while clearly establishing this as a story about Gibralter and her crew.

LOL!!! Oh -- and this really is my last observation – I loved Tark’s last line: “They’re all round rocks to me, sir.” It just struck me as so incredibly apt.

Bravo! What a great gift to return to from vacation. Can’t wait for Chapter 7.
 
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