Some People Are Jerks/Help Me Understand

[Gryffindorian]

I guess I wasn't very friendly because I was put off by what he had initially said, which was totally random. I was wearing very dark sunglasses, a blue dress shirt, and some Dockers pants. So he probably thought I was being arrogant and glaring at his dog? Weird.

Edit:

Nerys has a good point. Somebody must have said something to this guy about his unleashed dog before. When he saw me looking at the dog, he got the wrong impression and got all defensive about it.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

People really don't pay as much attention to you as you think.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Some do ... more than others.

Sometimes, noticing or not noticing in itself can be the source of the problem.

 

[marksound]

People really don't pay as much attention to you as you think.

This. ^^^

 

[rhubarbodendron]

Perhaps he confused you with someone who resembles you?

 

[Lumi]

I'm an overly sensitive person. Was diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and panic disorder when I was a tween. All my life, I've been too worried about what people might be thinking about me, or what they might say if I give them a chance. I even dropped out of school because I felt ill every day from nerves, would even get sick sometimes. I couldn't take it anymore. I regret that now obviously, but I'm working on it. I spent most of my teenage years and early 20's avoiding people at all costs. Never went out with friends, never did the party scene.

I went to my first club at the age of 26. I'm 28 now and I'm realizing that there are always going to be rude people who feel they have a right to be nasty to you for any reason or no reason at all. It is starting to sink in that it really has nothing to do with me, it's their problem. The most recent time someone said something nasty to me I didn't even flinch. It has taken me a long time but I'm getting better, slowly. I even got up and sang at karaoke night a week ago, and did a pretty good job at that.

I also agree with the posters above... in general, people really don't pay as much attention to you as you think.

I guess you just have to develop a thick skin for when it does happen. Five years ago, if someone had said/done something even slightly rude... I would have walked away crying.

No longer.

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

Maybe some of you can explain this to me, but what the HELL is wrong with people?!? What could I have possibly done to upset that douchebag?

I think you need to get that elliptical machine fixed.

Exactly, so you can drag it with you and smash people over the head with it

 

[SmoothieX]

I only ever leash my dog when I'm walking on a sidewalk/street, otherwise I find dog friendly trails and parks.

I went to this one park one time, let my dogs (used to have plural) out of the car, and they ran around and did they're we're in a park happy act. This female (I will not give her the respect of calling her a lady or a woman) walk by, has her dog sniff mine, then her dog bites mine.

She screamed out, "Your dog should be on a leash." I replied, "Yours should be muzzled."

She unleashed all sorts of profanity at me as we walked away, so I simply said have a nice Thanksgiving too (it was TG morning.)

If your dog is not responsive to voice commands, leave him on a leash. If your dog bites other ones, leave him at home.

There are dog lovers and there are assholes. The thing worse than that is an asshole that owns a dog.

 

[Gryffindorian]

Thanks for all the advice and input. And the laughs, too.

Lumi, I wish you the best. I've been on medication for anxiety for a long time now, and sometimes how I react to certain situations or interact with people has a lot to do with my condition. One area of emotional intelligence that I really need to work on is self-management. Although I'm not very gregarious, I'm quite easygoing and easy to get along with. But there are times when I experience "negative self-talk," and it really has an upsetting impact on me that I tend to overreact. I need to work on that.

 

[Gary7]

IMHO, I think you overreacted. Or you just happened to bump into one of the many jerks that walk this Earth (yeah, they're even living in San Francisco, if you can believe it).

First of all, neither of you know each other. Eye contact and facial expressions communicate quite a lot, but not necessarily what you intend. When someone doesn't know you, they can interpret those expressions incorrectly. From what the guy said, it sounds like he got the impression that you were uneasy about the dog, and since it was a docile animal of no imposing stature, he made a remark about there being nothing to be worried about, garnished with some sarcasm.

Now, his tone may have been intended to be funny but came across to you as sarcastic. And then you smirked at him. So, after you're a few more feet away he makes a comment to his friend about it, loud enough so that you can apparently hear it.

Miscommunication could really be the case here, as I see it with the sparse information provided. But, I could be wrong--I wasn't there.

Had you walked back over and said something like "There's no need to be sarcastic. I wasn't afraid of your dog, it's just that there's a city law that all dogs should be on a leash." And he might have apologized. Whatever.

Given this, I wouldn't hang onto this moment and wrestle over it in your mind. It obviously affected you enough to post about it here. Let it go. It's not productive to envision that this person was trying to be rude to a complete stranger. There was a misinterpretation or maybe this person was an asshole. This world is full of them. But there are also plenty of good people. No need to fret about the few that aren't worth bothering with.

 

[Nociod]

Stuff like this happens.

A couple of months ago, I was taking a walk when I saw a group of three women walking, and their dog was running free.

The dog ran up to me, and I stopped so he could smell me. One of the women said something similar, he's not dangerous or something, and I just smiled at them. I wasn't afraid of the dog, I had just stopped to let him have a sniff, and then I walked.

When the women had passed me, the one lady spoke out rather loudly, "Guess some people are just afraid dogs" and had a laugh with the others.

I must admit that I didn't appreciate that, but what are you supposed to do?, I decided to just ignore it and continue walking. In my case, I wasn't afraid, but for the sake of argument that I had been, then the owner should not have laughed at the fact that she let her big dog run up to a stranger (who she perceived of being afraid) without trying to call it back, and definitely not laugh at that said stranger afterwards.

But oh well, why should I care what some strangers think? The walk was nice, and a few seconds after the incident I decided not to let it bug me, and I continued enjoying my walk

 

[MacLeod]

Introverted people can be more sensitive to slights or percieved slights against them, espically if they are the more shy introverted type.

Now if the person did insult you or made negative comments because of some body language you gave out the problem is his not yours. It might simply have been you looking at the dog for a few seconds too long, as if you were keeping an eye on it, wary of it.