Colonel Green, I want you to know that you have a brother, here, as I too am a recovering alcoholic.
I used to knock over at least a fifth of vodka a day. I'd drink until I passed out, and then I'd somehow drag myself into my office by 8 a.m. at the latest. I thought nobody around me knew, even though I had nearly a liter of vodka on my breath. Of course, that's the denial of the alcoholic -- that we're in control, when in actuality we're controlled by the desire to drink.
I finally started making serious efforts towards getting sober on March 23, 2009. After a serious binge that followed a month of white-knuckle sobriety, my wife and my best friend (and business partner) went to the county courthouse and filed papers to have a judge declare me a danger to myself. I was taken to the local hospital -- the psych ward, in fact -- for a court-ordered 72-hour detoxification and evaluation, after which I had an assignment of 75 hours of intensive outpatient treatment. (And, holy God, the detox was terrible. I honestly wouldn't wish that upon anyone. I had nurses giving me Ativan every two hours to keep me from losing my shit from the withdrawal. Also -- an ex-girlfriend was the charge nurse when I was admitted. Awkward!) I was incredibly fortunate, really: My wife wasn't threatening to leave me, and my job was waiting for me when I got out of the hospital. There was simply a recurring theme from everyone around me: "You need to get a handle on this, because you're self-destructing."
I used to have huge problems with "the God thing" in AA. Massive. It kept me going into the rooms, then leaving and going on a binge immediately thereafter. And then I found a sponsor who really helped me to understand that the only evangelism in AA is what you're looking for -- it's only religious if you make it religious. The second step is about admitting that you are not the most important person or thing in this universe, and that there are forces greater than yourself at work. It's all about accepting some humility and saying, "Okay, I'm not King Shit of the Mountain." It's about letting go of the rampant self-will that drives us to drink, and letting go of the guilt, and the shame, that go with being an addict.
I always say that there is no shame in being an alcoholic. None whatsoever. Addiction is very, very real, and affects a significant subset of the population. Much of it is genetic. You have no real control over whether or not you become an addict. The responsibility is that, once you realize you have that addiction, you need to do something about it. If one fails to do something about it, that's when they're at fault.
But you've made an important first step. Addicts will only get sober when they want to get sober. By checking yourself in for detoxification, you're a lot farther along than any addict who goes in by court order. And it's smart -- alcohol withdrawal is one of the only withdrawals that can very easily kill you. Congratulations.
I'm not saying AA is for you. I'm not saying you can quit cold-turkey. I don't know, because I don't know you -- I only know myself. But please -- please -- do not hesitate to reach out to me to speak further on this matter. The alcoholics who still suffer are my brothers and sisters, and I will never turn down a request for help.
Absolutely not. Addiction is not recognized as a disability. In the absence of a long-term contract (such as a union CBA), employment is at-will, and employer and employee can choose to terminate said employment at any time.
I used to knock over at least a fifth of vodka a day. I'd drink until I passed out, and then I'd somehow drag myself into my office by 8 a.m. at the latest. I thought nobody around me knew, even though I had nearly a liter of vodka on my breath. Of course, that's the denial of the alcoholic -- that we're in control, when in actuality we're controlled by the desire to drink.
I finally started making serious efforts towards getting sober on March 23, 2009. After a serious binge that followed a month of white-knuckle sobriety, my wife and my best friend (and business partner) went to the county courthouse and filed papers to have a judge declare me a danger to myself. I was taken to the local hospital -- the psych ward, in fact -- for a court-ordered 72-hour detoxification and evaluation, after which I had an assignment of 75 hours of intensive outpatient treatment. (And, holy God, the detox was terrible. I honestly wouldn't wish that upon anyone. I had nurses giving me Ativan every two hours to keep me from losing my shit from the withdrawal. Also -- an ex-girlfriend was the charge nurse when I was admitted. Awkward!) I was incredibly fortunate, really: My wife wasn't threatening to leave me, and my job was waiting for me when I got out of the hospital. There was simply a recurring theme from everyone around me: "You need to get a handle on this, because you're self-destructing."
I used to have huge problems with "the God thing" in AA. Massive. It kept me going into the rooms, then leaving and going on a binge immediately thereafter. And then I found a sponsor who really helped me to understand that the only evangelism in AA is what you're looking for -- it's only religious if you make it religious. The second step is about admitting that you are not the most important person or thing in this universe, and that there are forces greater than yourself at work. It's all about accepting some humility and saying, "Okay, I'm not King Shit of the Mountain." It's about letting go of the rampant self-will that drives us to drink, and letting go of the guilt, and the shame, that go with being an addict.
I always say that there is no shame in being an alcoholic. None whatsoever. Addiction is very, very real, and affects a significant subset of the population. Much of it is genetic. You have no real control over whether or not you become an addict. The responsibility is that, once you realize you have that addiction, you need to do something about it. If one fails to do something about it, that's when they're at fault.
But you've made an important first step. Addicts will only get sober when they want to get sober. By checking yourself in for detoxification, you're a lot farther along than any addict who goes in by court order. And it's smart -- alcohol withdrawal is one of the only withdrawals that can very easily kill you. Congratulations.
I'm not saying AA is for you. I'm not saying you can quit cold-turkey. I don't know, because I don't know you -- I only know myself. But please -- please -- do not hesitate to reach out to me to speak further on this matter. The alcoholics who still suffer are my brothers and sisters, and I will never turn down a request for help.
Absolutely not. Addiction is not recognized as a disability. In the absence of a long-term contract (such as a union CBA), employment is at-will, and employer and employee can choose to terminate said employment at any time.
