Egads!
Should I join a dating service?
- Thread starter Emher
- Start date
^You guys crack me up 
Love is important, in several ways and kinds of love, but I'm not gonna build all my happiness on a relationship ever again. I did mistake and it took me a long time to recover from.
Anyway, going home for the weekend tomorrow. Might see her then.
Yeah that's more what I was aiming at. I'm still very romantic at heart and I'm sure I'll do all kinds of romantic stuff once I'm in an actual relationship, but what I meant is more that I used to believe in the one true love. The one for me, the one shot at happiness, that love was the most important thing in the world! And now I'm a bit more realistic about it.Not to disagree with some of my esteemed colleagues, but there's nothing wrong with being a big-time Romantic.
I don't think most of us would disagree with that. Being a "bigtime romantic" probably means different things to us, though.
Love is important, in several ways and kinds of love, but I'm not gonna build all my happiness on a relationship ever again. I did mistake and it took me a long time to recover from.
Anyway, going home for the weekend tomorrow. Might see her then.
^^ Good for that. And, there are many who could be the one. It's not really just one who is one, if you know what I mean.
I think it's fantastic that you asked her out. It's a great first step. I hope it works with Mia. If it doesn't, well, asking the next girl out will be a lot easier.
Mr Awe
I think it's fantastic that you asked her out. It's a great first step. I hope it works with Mia. If it doesn't, well, asking the next girl out will be a lot easier.
Mr Awe
Chatting to girls without even thinking about it - you've come a long way, Emher - don't forget that!
It is a hell of a difference when I think about it Well it only makes sense, I've started improving all the other aspects of my life so well that this is next step really. And I came to the conclusion a bit back that in anything it's often better to have your say that to say nothing.
Well it only makes sense, I've started improving all the other aspects of my life so well that this is next step really. And I came to the conclusion a bit back that in anything it's often better to have your say that to say nothing.
So yeah, she was there. But I think the universe is fucking trying to cockblock me or something. We got to the checkout and she's handling the customer before and that customer is having trouble with something. She's sees me, says "Hi!" and smiles (so I guess a point there) and I say hi back. And then it turns out that whatever it was it meant she had to go with the customer away from the register and someone else had to come over and handle it.
And as we came back it turned out we'd forgotten some stuff (no really) and I though I might as well go back. But she was nowhere to be seen so maybe she wne toff her shift, it was around the time where I think the shifts might switch and there was a alot other people in the registers.
So yeah, maybe tomorrow. At least she doesn't hate me
And as we came back it turned out we'd forgotten some stuff (no really) and I though I might as well go back. But she was nowhere to be seen so maybe she wne toff her shift, it was around the time where I think the shifts might switch and there was a alot other people in the registers.
So yeah, maybe tomorrow. At least she doesn't hate me
If it's meant to be, the opportunity will come - hang in there. 
Well as it turns out, it isn't meant to be. Again, I take the scene for a recap. I didn't get to tlak with her much while paying, but I got lucky and she was relieved by another cashier just then, so just after I'd packed up my stuff she was just leaving.
Me: "Sorry if I was pushy with the whole card thing"
She: "Oh, oh no, but my boyfriend didn't think it was very fun."
Me: "Oh, I see!" *little laugh from me*
She: "And I've been working two jobs the last week so I haven't really had the time to let you know"
Me: "Yeah I know how that is, just got home the other night from a job out of town. Oh well, but I guy's gotta ask."
She: "Yeah, it's good to be forward about it."
Me: "Well, tell your boy he's a lucky guy" I give her a last smile, she returns it and we part ways.
On the walk home I've had some pretty mixed emotions. Both the relief of knowing, the loss of the "battle", thinking that "boyfriend" is such a hateful word if you're not one, and the thought that at least I tried.
So in conclusion, yes progress has been made, but the whole dating site thing still has one big thing going for it: you actually know that the people want to date and are single. Well to a higher degreee anyway.
Me: "Sorry if I was pushy with the whole card thing"
She: "Oh, oh no, but my boyfriend didn't think it was very fun."
Me: "Oh, I see!" *little laugh from me*
She: "And I've been working two jobs the last week so I haven't really had the time to let you know"
Me: "Yeah I know how that is, just got home the other night from a job out of town. Oh well, but I guy's gotta ask."
She: "Yeah, it's good to be forward about it."
Me: "Well, tell your boy he's a lucky guy" I give her a last smile, she returns it and we part ways.
On the walk home I've had some pretty mixed emotions. Both the relief of knowing, the loss of the "battle", thinking that "boyfriend" is such a hateful word if you're not one, and the thought that at least I tried.
So in conclusion, yes progress has been made, but the whole dating site thing still has one big thing going for it: you actually know that the people want to date and are single. Well to a higher degreee anyway.
That sucks, Emher. But, onward and upward, as they say. 
It sucks that it had to go that way.
Just remember that if you continue with dating sites, there are plenty of ones out there that are free if you want to use them. Earlier there was a lot of talk of people getting ripped off on them. I feel as though that can be easily avoided.
Just remember that if you continue with dating sites, there are plenty of ones out there that are free if you want to use them. Earlier there was a lot of talk of people getting ripped off on them. I feel as though that can be easily avoided.
At least you tried! You should be proud of yourself.
And who knows, maybe she wasn't right for you anyway.
And who knows, maybe she wasn't right for you anyway.
That's why I joined a dating site. I hate having to suss out if someone is actually single or not. I had the worst luck when it came to that in the real world.
You handled that very well; you should be very happy with yourself. I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you, but don't let it get you down too much. Getting a date or finding a girlfriend is no different than looking for a job-- you get one maybe for every ten no's. You must persevere.
Well I'm having my night of feeling bad for myself. I think I'm entitled to that. I'm just getting rather tired of falling for/being interested in the ones that are taken
As it is, it's gonna leave me stronger and richer in experience and confidence. I guess that with this I only have more options to try. I'll keep losing weight, building my financial security, gaining in stability in general...and hopefully find someone that is avaiable and likes me back at some point. And who knows? In a few weeks I'm going to party to celebrate a female friend of mines birthday. I know there probably be a lot of girls there, myabe I'll hit it off with one of them? It doesn't have to be a potential relationship, but dang I could use at least some kind of action at this point.
As it is, it's gonna leave me stronger and richer in experience and confidence. I guess that with this I only have more options to try. I'll keep losing weight, building my financial security, gaining in stability in general...and hopefully find someone that is avaiable and likes me back at some point. And who knows? In a few weeks I'm going to party to celebrate a female friend of mines birthday. I know there probably be a lot of girls there, myabe I'll hit it off with one of them? It doesn't have to be a potential relationship, but dang I could use at least some kind of action at this point.
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
Well I'm having my night of feeling bad for myself. I think I'm entitled to that. I'm just getting rather tired of falling for/being interested in the ones that are taken
No. No no no no no no no! Fuck this girl, man. This is exactly what I mentioned last time about letting her control whether you are happy or not. Don't spend tonight feeling bad, even if you do feel bad. Call up your buddies, go out and have fun. That's what friends are for. You don't have to tell them your reasoning for it tonight. Just go out and have a good time. Sitting at home and wallowing in your own self-pity will do one thing and one thing only: add momentum to your own wallowing in self-pity and that's the last thing you want to be doing right now. Detach yourself from it. Recognize that whatever it is that's getting you down is probably based on how much you let yourself build this up in your head, reconcile that, and move on. No need to waste an evening lamenting it or any of the 'what if' permutations that might be creeping in your head.
Look, I'm not trying to be down on you. I think you've done really well with this. I just don't think sitting at home will be productive, and certainly not if it's over a girl you don't have a shot at right now. I guarantee you she's not going to be sitting at home feeling bad about it. Why should you? So she has a boyfriend. Big fucking deal. Your response shouldn't be "dammit" it should be "NEXT!"
This is better.A good corollary to that is that you generally, in the long run, you will regret the things that you didn't do, rather than the things that you actually do. In other words, you won't regret asking a girl out but getting turned down but you would regret never asking her out.
It's great that you're doing just that!!
Mr Awe
Well as it is, I did feel sorry for myself least night. But not more then that, when I got up this morning I was okay. Which is a BIG step forward for me. Used to be that this kind of thing would have me down for weeks, spinning further down in my mental pit, but no more.Well I'm having my night of feeling bad for myself. I think I'm entitled to that. I'm just getting rather tired of falling for/being interested in the ones that are taken
No. No no no no no no no! Fuck this girl, man. This is exactly what I mentioned last time about letting her control whether you are happy or not. Don't spend tonight feeling bad, even if you do feel bad. Call up your buddies, go out and have fun. That's what friends are for. You don't have to tell them your reasoning for it tonight. Just go out and have a good time. Sitting at home and wallowing in your own self-pity will do one thing and one thing only: add momentum to your own wallowing in self-pity and that's the last thing you want to be doing right now. Detach yourself from it. Recognize that whatever it is that's getting you down is probably based on how much you let yourself build this up in your head, reconcile that, and move on. No need to waste an evening lamenting it or any of the 'what if' permutations that might be creeping in your head.
Look, I'm not trying to be down on you. I think you've done really well with this. I just don't think sitting at home will be productive, and certainly not if it's over a girl you don't have a shot at right now. I guarantee you she's not going to be sitting at home feeling bad about it. Why should you? So she has a boyfriend. Big fucking deal. Your response shouldn't be "dammit" it should be "NEXT!"
I did however go on with my night with what I had planned and that probably helped.
So not quite at level of going "Next!", but getting there
And now I'm actually a bit psyched about this party thing, think I might entail the help of my friend we're celebrating, think she might help me out a bit with who I might have a shot at. And yes, she'd totally do that
Yeah, I have more then my fair share of those in my past! Like that girl in junior high who made it very clear that she wanted to sex me up, but I was all hung on the unattainable other girl. Boy have I regretted that one
A good corollary to that is that you generally, in the long run, you will regret the things that you didn't do, rather than the things that you actually do. In other words, you won't regret asking a girl out but getting turned down but you would regret never asking her out.
It's great that you're doing just that!!
Mr Awe
Similar threads
