Should I join a dating service?

[Emher]

Things have been going great for a while now and I've been feeling just loaods better what with work being aplenty and taking my happy pills every morning, losing weight, and I've even got some fun stuff to do in my spare time. So I shouled be feeeling great, right?

Wrong. Somethings amiss. After a lot of thinking I came to the realization that I miss someone special. I have a lot of people around me but I still feel a bit lonely. So naturally I came to the conclusion that I should try and start dating again. Only thing is that I've always been hopelessly impaired on the subject. Sure, the few times I'm actually gotten it across that I'm intrested things have gone well and I know how to act (things have just fallen apart for other reasons). Basically I suck at the start.

So I thought I'd might sign up for a dating service, to make the start easier. Find someone who also wants what I want and meet up. I'm pretty sure I could take it from there, it's the troubleshooting beforehand I have trouble with.

Is it a good idea? I know there people here with experience of dating services and I'd like to get their and other peoples input.





Unless there isn't any lovely ladies here who'd like to confess their love for me?





No one? Okay.

 

[Marie1]

If you're very, very, very careful, maybe you could try to use it to find people in your area.

But you're probably better off pursuing your hobbies, and meeting people that way- so you already know you have similar interests.

 

[sidious618]

Go for it. I signed up for one recently and met some cool people and some odd people. It can't hurt, right?

 

[Kestra]

Go for it! I have a few friends who have met their significant others through online dating services. One of them met a lot of crazies first, but it made her that much more confident in the relationship she formed with her now-husband. If nothing else, it's good experience, I would think.

Good luck!

 

[Colonel Green]

I met my wife on a dating site 5 years ago, coming off a bad break-up which had kinda poisoned the well as far as my existing female acquaintances were concerned.

I encountered a couple crazies at first, but I lucked out pretty quick; she was the 3rd person I met through the site.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I'd say go for it. If you're going to engage in activities for the express purpose of finding a romantic partner, a dating service is far better than going to bars. Just be sure to be completely honest on the application.

 

[Amaris]

Certainly, give it a chance. While I have yet to find happiness or a relationship, I have met a few interesting people in the past. You won't know until you try.

 

[Arthur Frelling Dent]

My wife and I met on Chemistry.com!

 

[Danny99]

I say go for it!

I met my current girlfriend on plentyoffish.com. It's been 4 months now and it's been the happiest 4 months of my life.

You never know where you'll meet someone, but this is someone who was made a believer out of online dating.

 

[AstroSmurf]

Please understand I say this with much trepidation... it couldn't hurt to try it and see what happens.

But to be honest, I have met some real nuts doing online dating so I guess I am not the person to ask. There was the weird guy who talked about Buffy the Vampire Slayer nonstop and rhythmically beat his head on the back of the booth. Then there was the ass-hat who yelled at the waiter for not refilling his coke when he asked. He had ordered iced tea. We also have the thumper; the dude who only talked about his mom; the guy with the coke habit who went to the bathroom eight hundred times and wouldn't stay off his cellphone; the one that ate like a rat and kept kicking me under the table; the guy who screeched his fork and kept scratching his balls in public... I could go on and on. Actually I could write a frakkin book at this point. And reading over all that, I swear I could have written for Seinfeld.

The best relationships I have been in are the ones where I struck up a conversation with someone somewhere. The last long term guy was one I met in the grocery store. I also seriously dated a guy who worked at my bank and another was someone I kept seeing at the bookstore and finally introduced myself. Of course, for someone shy, doing that is difficult I know. (I could talk to a fence post so that doesn't apply to me... at all. )

 

[Tribbles]

I think trying it with caution, as others have said, can't hurt anything. One of my friends met her husband online, but her mother had a very bad experience with a man she met from a dating site.

However, isn't that true of people you meet in daily life, as well? It can always go either way. Good luck to you!

I do feel that I should also second Marie1's advice about trying to find someone by pursuing a hobby because that's what worked for me. I was kind of lonely myself, so I went to a comic book store discussion group one night hoping to meet some friends who shared my love of Batman-- five years later, and one of those friends is now my husband. You never know when it will happen!

 

[sidious618]

Yeah, do both. Look at the people around you and at the people online.

 

[RandyS]

I wouldn't recommend it. In fact, stay the hell away from it for your own good. Before my girlfriend and I got together last year, I tried two different services (which I will not name here in order to avoid even more legal hassles).

The first one, I signed up, created a profile, then within seconds, I was chatting with some girl who "shyly" or, "Slyly" admitted that she wanted to get into the porn industry, and wanted me to go to an area of the site to cast my vote for her. It seemed harmless, so I tried while she waited on the chat thing. The vote thing wanted me to pay an addition $100.00 beyond what I'd already paid to sign up. When I went back to the chat and told her I was unable to spend any more money, she cut off contact. At first, I didn't think anything of it, but a few days later, I started noticing charges on my ATM card that I didn't recognize. An investigation didn't take long to prove that dating site was the guilty party. It took months to reclaim my money.

After I calmed down, I decided to try again. BAD mistake. The encounter on the second site went like this: A woman contacted me telling me how much she liked my profile. While reading her email, alarm bells went off in the back of my mind. Her horrible spelling, and total lack of good grammar stood in stark contrast to what was on her profile. Anyway, I wrote back, assuming that maybe she was mentally disabled in the same way that I'm pysichally disabled. Her answer to this letter was filled with her gushing about how much she loved me and how I was the right guy for her. She strangely ignored all my inquiries, or anything I had to say, and just filled the next four emails with how wonderful I was, and how I was the man for her. Her last email mentioned that she was coming to my area by plane to meet me, and she needed help with the air fare. He exact words were "I can afford Some amount with me, but need to know if you can send some Amount". I told her I could not send any money, and never heard from her again. Well, this incident prompted me to look in my bank account, and sure enough, there were a few charges that I didn't recognize. Once again, I spent some time recovering my money.

Rather than risk a third time, I swore off online dating. For your own good, I recommend you do the same. Maybe there are some honest sites out there, but my experience has taught me the value of that old saying "better safe than sorry".

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

It seems like a logical next step in the pyramid of feeling better. I think a good advantage of dating services is they are like a buffet, you can pick what you want, and if you don't like it, no biggie, just toss it and go back for something else. You don't have an lasting entanglements like you would f friends or families fixed you up or you dated someone you know first. You could even use this as a practice run. Maybe this isn't how you'll meet the love of your life, but it will get you in the game.

 

[TheSeeker]

I met my wife on Match.com so I say go for it! Just be honest and be yourself when corresponding with any potential dates and you should do well. Good luck!

 

[Rii]

Couldn't do it myself. I'm not interested in perusing people like dishes at a smorgasboard, or being perused in the same fashion. And besides, I wouldn't wish me on anyone.

 

[MeanJoePhaser]

Be prepared for the usual contradictions, cliches and perfectionist profiles from women.

About Me:
I am looking for a man that is loyal, honest, faithful, caring, romantic, likes to have fun, enjoys life to the fullest, is looking for something slow to get the know each other and see where things go. (If you meet my ridiculously high standards, you might get some.)

I'm adventurous and easy going (I'm probably a conformist or a total bore) just looking for someone to get to know and have some fun with (don't expect sex right away). I love to travel (I have expensive habits). I go to school and work, both full time, so I don't have tons of free time (I have good alibis and excuses to not return your phone calls).

Favorite Hot Spots: [brags about places she's been, the more exotic the better, as long as someone has heard of it.]

Favorite Things: Music (as opposed to people who hate music), dining (I'm high maintenance), shopping (HIGH MAINTENANCE),

Kids: Have kids (YOU = STEPDAD), Want more kids (I WANT TO RUIN ANOTHER MAN'S LIFE.)

Ethnicity: "I'm a mutt." (one of my friends said that I thought it was cute...like thousands of other goofy white girls)

Religion: "Spiritual/not religious" (Into goofy new age crap and astrology)

Politics: "Some other viewpoint" (watch out, this could mean anything or nothing.)

Drink: "Social Drinker" (Lush)

My Pets: (If she has more than one, you better like the smell of animal feces and competing for her affections with the entire animal kingdom.)

My ideal Match:

Someone is supportive but not controlling. Sensitive but manly. With plans for life but spontenaeous. Someone who will motivate me (I want a life coach/personal trainer that I don't have to pay). Some who like to spend time with me doing things I like (I.E. NOT WHAT YOU LIKE). Family is important to me (If my folks hate you, you can fudgin' forget it).

I'm looking for someone to share a lifetime of great conversations and adventures with (I never shut up). A man who's honest and direct, yet considerate and respectful of others (a well-mannered sychophant who knows his role). A sharp wit and great sense of humor are fantastic (amuse me, but don't embarass me in public doing goofy shit).

Age: No one over ____ (unless you have lots of $$$$)


Income: Over mine, and enough to support me when I don't want to do shit.

Height: At least 12 inches taller than me. Guys under 6' 2" need not apply.

Relationship Status: "Never Married" (NO DAMAGED GOODS.)

 

[JarodRussell]

Just go out into the real world and ask the next hot girl (or hot guy) you see out for a coffee. It works.

If you can blind date unknown strangers that you only know from photos from the interblag, why don't you just ask unknown strangers that stand right in front of you?

 

[Kestra]

Just go out into the real world and ask the next hot girl (or hot guy) you see out for a coffee. It works.

If you can blind date unknown strangers that you only know from photos from the interblag, why don't you just ask unknown strangers that stand right in front of you?

Because you don't know if they're looking to date someone. At least knowing that the other person is looking for the same thing as you breaks down a lot of initial barriers.

 

[Emher]

^Ding! Kestra hit it right on the head! And that's basically my main problem. I don't know how to communicate that well and don't know how that's formulated when communicated to me so I don't really know if there have been anyone intrested in last few years ^^;

And Rii, I definetly do not consider it a "smörgåsbord". I am aware that I would definetly be taken of someones "list" pretty quickly, but then again I'd not be intrested in them if they'd dismiss that quickly so it kinda works both ways. As for me, sure I have some standards and preferences. But I'm mature enough to know not to disimiss anyone just because they're say, a few inces too tall.

Oh, MeanJoe. I consider myself spiritual and don't really follow any main religion, so that might work for me