Self-Deprecate!

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

This is a thread for telling funny and embarrassing stories about how stupid you are.

Yesterday I was out in a shopping center when I suddenly became aware that the cross over shirt I was wearing was gaping open and there was a big hunk of bra hanging out of it. I hadn't worn this shirt in many months. I spent the day clutching at it periodically to try and keep the bra area covered but the whole time I was gloating, GLOATING because all I could think was "wow, I really must have lost some weight since last time I wore this shirt! I wore it all last winter and this never happened!" Now sure it is sad to loose boob fat but this is the price one pays for weight loss and I was very happy with that price even as I wished I had put on a less dingy bra that morning.

That evening I remembered that last year when I wore this shirt I had had a small safety pin holding it discreetly together. The safety pin was now missing.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Once I was beginnning the washing up and I discovered that only cold water was coming out of the tap. I began to tell my sons off for using up all the hot water while taking long showers when my youngest son told me "Mum that is the cold water tap".

 

[Gryffindorian]

This is a thread for telling funny and embarrassing stories about how stupid you are.

Yesterday I was out in a shopping center when I suddenly became aware that the cross over shirt I was wearing was gaping open and there was a big hunk of bra hanging out of it. I hadn't worn this shirt in many months. I spent the day clutching at it periodically to try and keep the bra area covered but the whole time I was gloating, GLOATING because all I could think was "wow, I really must have lost some weight since last time I wore this shirt! I wore it all last winter and this never happened!" Now sure it is sad to loose boob fat but this is the price one pays for weight loss and I was very happy with that price even as I wished I had put on a less dingy bra that morning.

That evening I remembered that last year when I wore this shirt I had had a small safety pin holding it discreetly together. The safety pin was now missing.

Pictures, please.

 

[Melakon]

Yes, we need a picture of that missing safety pin in case somebody finds it.

 

[Captain Kathryn]

Oh man I have a lot...

I've managed to ruin two laptops at work in the few years I've been here by spilling coffee all over them... then trying to lie and cover it up... then being found out. It's against the law to penalize people for that kind of thing here, but still embarrassing because it happened twice! Now I keep my coffee FAR away from my computer.

I've farted in the elevator on an odd floor thinking no one would come in... and they have come in. I stopped doing that finally.

I only shave my legs if I know someone will see them.

Once I had a similar thing to Teacake... where I was talking intently at work to someone and I had NO IDEA my dress (in the boob region) was ripped open wide. When I went to the bathroom I saw it... and was like shit... so embarrassing.

Oh also I've went out to eat thinking I had money on my card and then... oops doesn't go through so need to bum off of peeps.

 

[Mr Awe]

I've farted in the elevator on an odd floor thinking no one would come in... and they have come in. I stopped doing that finally.

Why did you think people would only board the elevator on even floors?!

Mr Awe

 

[Captain Kathryn]

I've farted in the elevator on an odd floor thinking no one would come in... and they have come in. I stopped doing that finally.

Why did you think people would only board the elevator on even floors?!

Mr Awe

It's hard to explain! Not odd as in the number! Less a weird floor and more a weird time. We work later hours than any other office in the building so its rare to leave work while other people from other companies are getting out.

Also certain floors are considered in non-use at certain times. Like the cafeteria at night.

 

[Mr Awe]

^ I knew what you meant, just being silly!

 

[Captain Kathryn]

I think I am embarrassed all over again....

 

[Mary Ann]

I did the toilet-paper-trailing-from-the-heel-of-my-shoe thing on my first day of college. Good thing I had no street cred to begin with.

 

[Owain Taggart]

I've probably posted this several times before, but here goes. My Dad, my Brother, and myself, were on our way to Vermont to our favourite congregational camping spot. By this time, we were all used to the routine as we had been doing this for at least a decade. So, nothing could go wrong, right?

We had rented a minivan that time, and both my Brother and I were deep into our books. I was sitting in the front passenger seat while my Dad drove, and my Brother had the whole back to himself. About several hours away from our destination, we pull into a gas station. My Brother's always been the quiet type, often keeping to himself. I was so intent on following what was going on in my book that I never noticed my Brother slipping out through the sliding door, heading for the restroom.

Well, at that time, my Dad had gone inside to pay for the gas, and when he came back, we promptly left. Fast-forward to an hour and a half later, and we have lights and sirens behind us. I look over to my Dad and think, "Gee, is it legal to get gas in Vermont?" We pull over to find out what these officers want. They had apparently sent two cars to search for us. What in the hell did we do?? As the second car left and one of the officers approached us and we rolled down our window, he asked, "Would you by any chance have left your son at a gas station?"

Uh, well no, seriously that's not possible, I think. "No, he's right here -" I say while turning to look behind me, and to my horror..."Wait a minute, no he's not!" The officer chuckled at this and sent us back on our way, in the opposite direction. Surprisingly, my Brother was in good spirits and wasn't angry about it, and we found him joking around with the station attendant. That was about ten years ago.

Last year, we happened to stop at that same gas station, and surprisingly that same attendant was there. I told him the story. His eyes lit up. He said he didn't remember, but laughed hysterically. "That's a real good one. I'll have to remember that.", he said.

 

[Melakon]

. . .I was talking intently at work to someone and I had NO IDEA my dress (in the boob region) was ripped open wide.

You thought they were intently staring because they were captivated by your compelling argument.

Putting groceries in a cart and then finding out the credit card and the cash card are both out of funds is not a lot of fun.

 

[Miss Chicken]

You can't make certain things up.

I've only been stung by two bees in my life. But, as God is my witness, the first one was dead at least two minutes before I sat on it. Zombies I can deal with, but dead bees? No.

I have only been stung by wasps twice in my life. The first time I was semi-asleep in bed, the wasp was on my pillow and i rolled over and it stung me on the eyelid. My friends and family and even the local shopkeeper said that this was a once in the lifetime occurence.

Three days later I was again on the bed but this time with my boyfriend. We were having a very passionate moment when I rolled over and was stung on the bum. I jumped out of the bed screaming and the boyfriend was asking if he had hurt me.

 

[USS Triumphant]

I am a computer tech with 32 years of experience.

Once, when I had only about 20 years of experience, I took a desktop computer entirely apart and reassembled it, replacing one part at a time, including power supply - everything except the case itself, unable to figure out which part had gone bad that was keeping it from being able to turn on. When I finally realized that as a precaution when I was initially changing the RAM, I had for some damned reason unplugged the power cable from the outlet. (I normally unplugged the cable from the back of the power supply and left the cable plugged into the outlet.) So I spent 30 minutes unable to fathom why a computer with no power would not come on.

I've always tried to be polite, anyway, but since then, I don't generally mock users even in my own head.

 

[Haggis and tatties]

I am 10 years on the board, the other day i went to change my email, simple enough, 10 mins later my account was locked out, i had half a dozen windows open looking for passwords, i had a thread in the mod section asking for help, and i had signed into a account i had no idea existed.

And i call myself computer litir....lite...literit.....savvy.

 

[Taylirious]

Every moment of my life.

 

[Owain Taggart]

I've always tried to be polite, anyway, but since then, I don't generally mock users even in my own head.

Funny, and here I thought you were going to say you were mocking your computer for not turning on... Always nice to be nice to a computer since one relies on it so much

 

[thestrangequark]

I got into a fight on Facebook once. It is truly the height of my shame.

 

[Taylirious]

All of my enemies are on Facebook. No, just NO! Seriously. No.

 

[Toxteth O´Grady]

18 years ago I was a Freshman in high school. Now, I wasn't familiar with this school. There was a junior high in the same building. One half of the school was the junior high and the other half was the high school. I had never been in this building before as my junior high was another school in the same district, so I had no idea where I was going. It was the very first day of school, my class was much bigger so there were a lot of new faces that didn't know me from junior high school. I'm trying hard not to look like an idiot. I had the number for my home room class. I'm walking around looking for it and finally I find it. It was still a few minutes before the bell was supposed to ring so I'm in good shape. I'll get a chance to meet some new people, greet the kids that I already knew, pick out a primo desk, I'm feeling pretty good. I open up the door and the classroom is filled and the teacher is talking in front of the class. Every eye turns around and looks at me. I don't know ANYbody in the room. The teacher asks me if I'm in the right room. I tell him the room number and sure enough this was it.

Then he asks me what grade I'm in.

I say 9th.

He tells me that I'm in the wrong part of the building and that the high school is on the other side.

My quest to not look like an idiot failed. I'm pretty sure nobody else made the same mistake and I'm glad that nobody in my class witnessed it, but I never forgot that experience.

Sidenote: I have no idea why they repeated room numbers in both parts of the school. Maybe they thought that nobody would be dumb enough to mistake the junior high for the high school. Guess I proved them wrong.