SCOTTISH COMPASSION.

[Gil T.Azell]

Naughty but a good one… enjoy!

A man was sitting on a blanket at the beach. He had no arms and no legs.
Three women, from England, Wales, and Scotland, were walking past
And felt sorry for the poor man.
The English woman said "Have you ever had a hug?"
The man said "No," so she gave him a hug and walked on.
The Welsh woman said, "Have you ever had a kiss?"
The man said, "No," so she gave him a kiss and walked on.
The Scottish woman came to him and said, "'Ave ya ever been fooked, laddie?"
The man broke into a big smile and said, "No"...
She said, "Aye, ya will be when the tide comes in.

Spoiler: SCOTTISH COMPASSION.

I'm part SCOTTISH.

 

[iguana_tonante]

Spoiler: SCOTTISH COMPASSION.

I'm part SCOTTISH.

That could explain the drunkl.

 

[Switch]

I laughed. More!

 

[ThankQ]

That's pretty good.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Spoiler: SCOTTISH COMPASSION.

I'm part SCOTTISH.

That could explain the drunkl.

^ ???
What?

A true Canadian joke...





A female Mountie pulled over a drunk Newfie fisherman driving home down a back road.



She said, ''You're under arrest... anything you say, can and will be held against you.''




''Tits!'' replied the Newfie.

and
Men do remember
A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall She watches as he wiped a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. 'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?
The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met.'
She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up. The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating?
I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.
Once again, the wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. 'Yes, I do' she replies.
The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?' 'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.. The husband continued. 'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years?'
'I remember that, too' she replied softly.
He wiped another tear from his cheek and said 'I would have gotten out today.

 

[Haggis and tatties]

 

[ManOnTheWave]

Shhcotissh Compassshion:

 

[Deckerd]

It's yer maw, not 'your mom'. Sheesh.

 

[ManOnTheWave]

I shtand colrected.