Okay... so I have seen the film... formed my own opinions, and read some thoughtful reviews to solidify my thoughts on how STID could have been significantly improved. I am trying to retain as much of the film, and as many significant VFX concepts as I can...
TEASER:
On a mission to a primitive planet, Kirk and McCoy have been undercover, learning about the natives. As dusk falls, Kirk grabs a religious scroll, incurring the wrath of the natives. As he and McCoy are attempting to escape, Spock, Sulu, and Uhura are working to try to stabilize a volcano that threatens to wipe out the nascient civilization. Spock is lowered into the volcano with his 'ice cube' to chill the volcano off. The shuttlecraft is damaged by the volcano and misses its check-in with the ship.
The Enterprise, which has been in hiding behind the planetary moon appears over the limb of the moon, with Scotty in command. When the shuttle makes contact, they reveal Spock is stuck and they are going to ditch. Kirk and McCoy have their problems too. Kirk orders Scott to bring the Enterprise into orbit and rescue the crew. With Kirk, McCoy, Sulu, and Uhura safely aboard, the transporters cannot lock on to Spock because of the volcano. Scotty says they need to get closer. Kirk, weighing the options, chooses to take the Enterprise into the atmosphere and, flying low, rescues Spock and escapes.
OPENING TITLE
I CAN SAVE HER - I could see leaving this alone.
KIRK, PIKE, SPOCK CONFAB - I can see leaving this alone, with a few exceptions: The interference with the volcano was Spock's idea, and executed by him. He gets demoted to Lt.Cdr. (homage to TOS season 1). Kirk, as commander, is threatened with court martial.
BIG BOOM IN LONDON - Leave it alone
TRACKING KIRK - Kirk is in a seedy bar, Pike comes to visit. He's persuaded Admiral Marcus, the Sector Commander, to assign Kirk to Pike as Enterprise XO. Kirk opines that he isn't interested in the job, to which Pike responds he needs to learn more than an ounce of humility, and that he will take the job or Pike will go back and ask Marcus to court martial him. Pike's communicator goes off, he gets the message about the meeting, and he tells Kirk he has 10 minutes to make up his mind, because they are going to see Marcus at a meeting.
MEETING HALL - Essentially as filmed.
INVESTIGATION - Drop the transwarp beaming bit. Instead, Harrison beamed out to coordinates in earth orbit. When a shuttle investigates, nothing is left behind except a bomb which damages the shuttle.
MARCUS' OFFICE - Marcus reveals the existence of S31 to Kirk, and discloses that Harrison is a shadow operative for the group. He cannot ask his own to go after Harrison because many are sympathetic to his cause. He asks Kirk to covertly do some bloodhounding while the Enterprise is completing repairs.
NEW MONTAGE SCENE - A few weeks pass in the montage... Harrison meets people covertly, trading things, and leaving breadcrumbs. Kirk meets some of the same people, some are helpful, others are not. Finally Kirk gets a hold of some kind of evidence that shows he is in hiding on a remote Klingon outpost.
NEW MARCUS OFFICE SCENE - Kirk presents his evidence, and asks Marcus to pursue Harrison. Marcus grants the request. He offers Kirk some advanced weaponry too... weaponry that would be untraceable by the Klingons if employed in their space.
SHUTTLE TO ENTERPRISE SCENE - Leave mostly alone, but drop the intro of Carol.
ON ENTERPRISE - Scotty is gone. He refused to sign for the ordnance, so Marcus replaced him with Carol Wallace, a weapons specialist. The ship heads out for the Klingon border.
ON THE KLINGON OUTPOST - Harrison is up to something. No idea what, but he is up to something.
ON ENTERPRISE - A briefing room scene where Harrison's dossier is reviewed, highlighting various identities he has had while working for S31. All this is compliments of Marcus. The bridge calls, and the border is ahead. Kirk and co. take a 'borrowed' vehicle for plasuable deniability's sake.
ON THE OUTPOST - Kirk evades the Klingon patrols and finds Harrison. Landing, he and Harrison have a tearse exchange, bordering on violent, when the Klingons find them and assault. Harrison virtually single-handedly fights them off, with some advanced weaponry and hand to hand combat. He specifically saves Kirk from being decapitated by a bat'leth. Afterwards, in a moment of two-dimensional thinking, Harrison turns his back to Kirk to pontificate, at which time he picks up the bat'leth and whacks Harrison on the back of the head with the blunt end. Harrison is taken into custody.
MARCUS' OFFICE - Marcus receives a report about Harrison's capture. He leaves for the Vengeance.
ENTERPRISE - The ship is about to leave the border when she looses power. Something is wrong in Engineering. Kirk calls Carol who says she thinks that it is a coolant leak, but that it will take time to track down. Spock goes to assist her. She makes several subtle mistakes in her processes that Spock has to fix. A lengthy repair estimate comes back. On his way back to the bridge, Spock ducks into a conference room and pulls up some data on the new engineer.
KLINGON SECTOR COMMAND - The Enterprise, her power failed, is revealed.. and the Klingons are going to strike.
BRIG - Kirk goes to confront Harrison alone. Harrison reveals his true identity as Joachim, right hand man to Khan Noonien Singh. Khan died because his discoverers didn't include a doctor. Joachim was revived later, at Starfleet. The Botany Bay was found on its course by a survey mission, and was taken back to Earth. When Starfleet figured out who they were, Marcus decided to start reviving them. War is inevitable, Marcus wants an advantage. Joachim is his best hope.... but Joachim speaks of Marcus as a traitor, and Kirk won't hear of it. Just as he prepares to storm out of the brig, the Klingons attack.
ATTACK SEQUENCE - Culminates in the USS Vengeance rescuing the Enterprise under Marcus' watchful gaze. Marcus wants Joachim, and is disappointed that Kirk has listened to him. He tractors the Enterprise, and heads back for earth.
That's all the time I have for now... will finish up later.
TEASER:
On a mission to a primitive planet, Kirk and McCoy have been undercover, learning about the natives. As dusk falls, Kirk grabs a religious scroll, incurring the wrath of the natives. As he and McCoy are attempting to escape, Spock, Sulu, and Uhura are working to try to stabilize a volcano that threatens to wipe out the nascient civilization. Spock is lowered into the volcano with his 'ice cube' to chill the volcano off. The shuttlecraft is damaged by the volcano and misses its check-in with the ship.
The Enterprise, which has been in hiding behind the planetary moon appears over the limb of the moon, with Scotty in command. When the shuttle makes contact, they reveal Spock is stuck and they are going to ditch. Kirk and McCoy have their problems too. Kirk orders Scott to bring the Enterprise into orbit and rescue the crew. With Kirk, McCoy, Sulu, and Uhura safely aboard, the transporters cannot lock on to Spock because of the volcano. Scotty says they need to get closer. Kirk, weighing the options, chooses to take the Enterprise into the atmosphere and, flying low, rescues Spock and escapes.
OPENING TITLE
I CAN SAVE HER - I could see leaving this alone.
KIRK, PIKE, SPOCK CONFAB - I can see leaving this alone, with a few exceptions: The interference with the volcano was Spock's idea, and executed by him. He gets demoted to Lt.Cdr. (homage to TOS season 1). Kirk, as commander, is threatened with court martial.
BIG BOOM IN LONDON - Leave it alone
TRACKING KIRK - Kirk is in a seedy bar, Pike comes to visit. He's persuaded Admiral Marcus, the Sector Commander, to assign Kirk to Pike as Enterprise XO. Kirk opines that he isn't interested in the job, to which Pike responds he needs to learn more than an ounce of humility, and that he will take the job or Pike will go back and ask Marcus to court martial him. Pike's communicator goes off, he gets the message about the meeting, and he tells Kirk he has 10 minutes to make up his mind, because they are going to see Marcus at a meeting.
MEETING HALL - Essentially as filmed.
INVESTIGATION - Drop the transwarp beaming bit. Instead, Harrison beamed out to coordinates in earth orbit. When a shuttle investigates, nothing is left behind except a bomb which damages the shuttle.
MARCUS' OFFICE - Marcus reveals the existence of S31 to Kirk, and discloses that Harrison is a shadow operative for the group. He cannot ask his own to go after Harrison because many are sympathetic to his cause. He asks Kirk to covertly do some bloodhounding while the Enterprise is completing repairs.
NEW MONTAGE SCENE - A few weeks pass in the montage... Harrison meets people covertly, trading things, and leaving breadcrumbs. Kirk meets some of the same people, some are helpful, others are not. Finally Kirk gets a hold of some kind of evidence that shows he is in hiding on a remote Klingon outpost.
NEW MARCUS OFFICE SCENE - Kirk presents his evidence, and asks Marcus to pursue Harrison. Marcus grants the request. He offers Kirk some advanced weaponry too... weaponry that would be untraceable by the Klingons if employed in their space.
SHUTTLE TO ENTERPRISE SCENE - Leave mostly alone, but drop the intro of Carol.
ON ENTERPRISE - Scotty is gone. He refused to sign for the ordnance, so Marcus replaced him with Carol Wallace, a weapons specialist. The ship heads out for the Klingon border.
ON THE KLINGON OUTPOST - Harrison is up to something. No idea what, but he is up to something.
ON ENTERPRISE - A briefing room scene where Harrison's dossier is reviewed, highlighting various identities he has had while working for S31. All this is compliments of Marcus. The bridge calls, and the border is ahead. Kirk and co. take a 'borrowed' vehicle for plasuable deniability's sake.
ON THE OUTPOST - Kirk evades the Klingon patrols and finds Harrison. Landing, he and Harrison have a tearse exchange, bordering on violent, when the Klingons find them and assault. Harrison virtually single-handedly fights them off, with some advanced weaponry and hand to hand combat. He specifically saves Kirk from being decapitated by a bat'leth. Afterwards, in a moment of two-dimensional thinking, Harrison turns his back to Kirk to pontificate, at which time he picks up the bat'leth and whacks Harrison on the back of the head with the blunt end. Harrison is taken into custody.
MARCUS' OFFICE - Marcus receives a report about Harrison's capture. He leaves for the Vengeance.
ENTERPRISE - The ship is about to leave the border when she looses power. Something is wrong in Engineering. Kirk calls Carol who says she thinks that it is a coolant leak, but that it will take time to track down. Spock goes to assist her. She makes several subtle mistakes in her processes that Spock has to fix. A lengthy repair estimate comes back. On his way back to the bridge, Spock ducks into a conference room and pulls up some data on the new engineer.
KLINGON SECTOR COMMAND - The Enterprise, her power failed, is revealed.. and the Klingons are going to strike.
BRIG - Kirk goes to confront Harrison alone. Harrison reveals his true identity as Joachim, right hand man to Khan Noonien Singh. Khan died because his discoverers didn't include a doctor. Joachim was revived later, at Starfleet. The Botany Bay was found on its course by a survey mission, and was taken back to Earth. When Starfleet figured out who they were, Marcus decided to start reviving them. War is inevitable, Marcus wants an advantage. Joachim is his best hope.... but Joachim speaks of Marcus as a traitor, and Kirk won't hear of it. Just as he prepares to storm out of the brig, the Klingons attack.
ATTACK SEQUENCE - Culminates in the USS Vengeance rescuing the Enterprise under Marcus' watchful gaze. Marcus wants Joachim, and is disappointed that Kirk has listened to him. He tractors the Enterprise, and heads back for earth.
That's all the time I have for now... will finish up later.
