Rescue/Repair The Worst Eps!

[Gojirob]

Without getting into out-and-out fanfic, I propose offering up plot options/replacements that would improve the lot of those eps that are, for the most part, agreed upon as just being plain bad in a majority of the talk you've heard. I mean, the real stinkers. I have a problem with DS9-S2 'Paradise'--but that's far from a universal opinion. That rests more with the Ferengi eps, 'Spock's Brain', 'Threshold' and like that. Yes, they have their defenders, but usually even these defenses are heavily qualified.

I'll start with 'The Emperor's New Cloak'.

Quark, Rom and Zek are under medical care in Sickbay. Each are unconscious/comatose, but Rom awakes first. He describes their adventure in the MU, and it is exactly the one we know from the ep. As he is sedated to rest further, Quark awakens, and tells a very different story. Zek was out-and-out kidnapped, not lured, and absolutely everything that could go wrong did. The MU Terrans took the station, but then Smiley, suddenly looking a great deal less like Miles, declares that this is the re-birth of the Empire. Whether this was his intent all along, or if he were just drained by the war, is not made clear. What follows is a blood-bath, as the Alliance and the Terrans settle old scores, each unwilling to be re-enslaved. Every last alternate dies, and dies horribly, perhaps even pushing the gore envelope of 'Conspiracy'. Zek and Rom are howling, paralyzed with fear and disgust, and Quark is only able to just get them out, using the cloaked ship. As he passes through the portal, he ejects and detonates the cloaking device, sealing that world off from ours-maybe for good, maybe not. Quark passes out after delivering the other two home. This sequence ends with a visibly shaken Quark passing up a clear opportunity to make a pass at Kira.

After Zek awakens, Ishka pensively tells Quark that Zek has news for him. Zek, apparently satisfied to be in the same denial as Rom, 'recalls' how much of a 'stick in the mud' Quark was during their MU 'adventure', and decides to name Rom his successor instead. Quark decides that the only way to change Zek's mind would be to force Rom to remember what really happened, and that he cannot do. Ishka asks him to close the bar and join Rom in a high position. Quark refuses for now, saying that he'll wait for Rom to ask himself, and when he does, he will be there for his brother.

 

[MyCylon]

^
Wow, that sounds freaky It'd probably be better than what we got though that's unfortunately not saying all too much.
I've always thought the events in "The Emperor's New Cloak" should simply turn out to have been Quark's dream. THEN it might actually have been entertaining.


Here's something that could have been changed easily for an episode that's basically quite good but suffers from a rather irritating problem. In "Wrongs darker than Death or Night", it is stated that Kira uses the Orb of Time to ACTUALLY travel back in time which obviously raises major problems and questions as far as her actions are concerned with respect to the timeline. I think they should have simply made this a vision (much like Far beyond the Stars).

 

[egonbeeblebrox]

Get rid of the last ten minutes or so of "The Omega Glory" and it'd be outstanding. Come up with SOMETHING different, I don't care what. Up til the whole 'Constitution' thing, it was a phenomenal episode.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Lose the remote control Spock from Spock's Brain. Just keep the disembodied voice guiding the landing party.

 

[Kegek]

I'm a largely unconditional defender of "The Emperor's New Cloak."

But here's an idea for "Shades of Grey".. have the clips be intercut in confusing and disorienting ways, until recurrent patterns and themes being to emerge - mainly Minuet. Be an artist with the scissors, and the ep is saved. Even if it's a total screw-with-your-head effect.

 

[DumbDumb2007]

The Lights Of Zetar was awfull. It was worse than Spock's Brain.
The Lights of Zetar could be picked up by letting us actually see Memory Alpha and seeing Space Stations and Starships and Civilian ships in orbit of Memory Alpha and around the star system without power and lifeless as a result of the Lights of Zetar passing through the star system.Seeing the Lights actually penetrate the Enterprise's Hull would make sense. I used to cringe once in awhile when that episode was on. I have the season 3 dvds and have never watched it.

 

[Starbreaker]

I wish they didn't do that stupid 'tap the back of your hand' crap in VOY's Waking Moments

 

[Russell Croutear]

I've considered doing a fan edit of a couple of episodes.

My first would be to incorporate Tasha Yar's death into another episode, possibly 'The Arsenal Of Freedom', and make it important by having the opening few seconds of the memorial as part of the teaser and then flashing back.

Another would be to condense two-parter 'Birthright' into a single episode, cutting out some of the Klingon ritual filler and jungle walks from the second part.

 

[HRHTheKING]

I've been thinking about doing this too. Might be fun.

Not just bad episodes, but good ones too. I want to adapt their main plotpoints (not the full script) to DS9, my favourite series.

I got the idea when I read Michael Piller say that to test whether DS9 could work, he took an entire season of TNG episodes and adapted them to DS9's setting. As it happens, he was easily able to adapt them, and DS9 forged ahead.

 

[Forbin]

I'd like to rewrite "Yesterday's Enterprise" to exclude Guinan. First, a civilian bartender doesn't belong on a warship deep in enemy territory. Second, it would ennoble our heroes even more if Tasha chose to go back with the C without any influence from spooky knowledge of an alternate timeline. She's a brave person and should have needed no "you don't belong here" claptrap to do what's right. And Picard is smart enough to figure out what to do without Guinan's prodding.

 

[xortex]

In Enterprise, the one where Trip gets pregnant, he should have had the baby and handed it over to the Xyrillians as it's first half human Ambassador.

 

[stj]

Year of Hell would hold up better if they didn't have the battle damage left unrepaired. There's no way that wreck could fight a battle! The last battle looks more and more unbelievable.

Equinox may have been better without the nonsense about dream Seven redeeming the Equinox' captain. Also, Chakotay's intervention in the infamous torture scene should have allowed Equinox' escape. Which should have been resented by some of the Voyager crew! The subspace aliens could then have made contact and told Janeway where Equinox was.

 

[JiNX-01]

The Laughing Vulcan said:
Lose the remote control Spock from Spock's Brain. Just keep the disembodied voice guiding the landing party.

Actually, I think Spock's Brain should have been played for laughs (odd as that sounds) like A Piece of the Action.

Playing that ridiculous plot seriously made it laughable in a bad way.

xortex said:
In Enterprise, the one where Trip gets pregnant, he should have had the baby and handed it over to the Xyrillians as it's first half human Ambassador.

I agree, Trip should have carried the baby to term.

It would have been easy enough to achieve. Phlox said the pregnancy would last 5-6 weeks. The Xyrillians decided to go home on impulse (which will take about 6 weeks) after their encounter with the Klingons. So instead of taking the easy way out with the "oh, sure, we can remove the fetus" plot device, they tell Trip they can't.

Archer decides the best course is to have Enterprise escort the Xyrillians home: Enterprise can protect them since they won't have the maneuvering power if they come across aggressors; it gives them more time for cultural and scientific exchange; and Trip can have the child on the Xyrillian ship (I always thought it was odd that no one concerned themselves with creating an environment suitable for a Xyrillian baby -- considering the trouble Trip et.al. had to go through to go on the alien ship. This would be a logical solution.)

And it would have been so much fun seeing Trip sprout a birth canal (I wonder where that would have turned up after the nipples popped up on his wrist?) and go through labor.

As an aside: The baby wouldn't be half-human. The Xyrillian females provide all of the genetic material. The males just carry the fetus.

EDITED TO ADD QUALIFIER: In light of the thread's title, I just want to add I don't actually consider "Unexpected" to be a bad episode. It's one of my favorite episodes. It was funny and I really enjoyed Trip's reaction to his predicament.

 

[Ghel]

In the eposode where Sisco builds his own Bajoran solar sail ship, make it a two parter and alter the ending in this way:

Sisco and son build the solar sail vessle and they "find" the subspace slipstream which takes them to Cardassia.

The Cardassians, being none to happy, summarily capture the ship and imprision the Ben and Jake.

Meanwhile, back on the station, the ship seems to have merely disappeared. O'Brien is tasked with re-creating the experiment while the rest of them scan the system looking for clues as to what happened.

On Cardassia, Sisco and Jake are put in a show trial in which they are convicted of entering Cardassian space and espionage.

Kira begins to suspect the slipstream and begins to talk to neighboring starsystems including Cardassia about the whereabouts of Sisco--all deny any knowledge.

Sisco and Jake are separated and Sisco is tortured in a manner similar to Picard in Chains of Command (perhaps even by Dukat).

O'Brien finally completes the Solar Sail vessle and sends it on the same course and heading with tracking devices within it. The vessle is launched and this time, is tracked to Cardassia.

Cardassians, caught red handed, begrudgingly release both Siscos and admit that Bajorans may have landed on Cardassia before. . .

 

[xortex]

Oh yea, and the Xyrillians should have been a higher race only appearing human and faking an engineering problem to understand them and test them. The baby should have Trips memory and be an ambassador between the two races.

 

[Cranston]

Kegek said:
But here's an idea for "Shades of Grey".. have the clips be intercut in confusing and disorienting ways, until recurrent patterns and themes being to emerge - mainly Minuet. Be an artist with the scissors, and the ep is saved. Even if it's a total screw-with-your-head effect.

I agree.

What I'd do with "Shades of Gray" is something like this, but go even further: reshoot the "flashback" scenes entirely, with new/additional dialogue and new viewpoints. In other words, rather than just see the old clips, provide actual new information about past events by showing them from a different point of view. In other words, revisit some of the previous episodes, but without using old clips.

(Of course, that would completely negate the whole *point* of a clip show, which is to save money by using old footage ).

 

[sbk1234]

Manhunt. Lwaxana Troi comes on board. Picard shoots her with a phaser. They spend the remaining 43 minutes swapping stories in Ten Forward.

 

[C.E. Evans]

"Threshold." The episode would have been about the attempt for the Voyager itself to reach Warp 10, but never actually reaching it. That way Janeway and Paris don't evolve/de-evolve into lizards that immediately do the nasty and have lizard children...

 

[Gojirob]

Or do have them reach it, only to find that once inside the Infinite Warp field, the navigation shuts down and bipedal sentient senses (even the special ones) are blasted into uselessness by the energies there. With no way of knowing where forward will take them, back is the only option. Throughout the series, all of the miracle solutions are tried from time to time, but in effect it would take even a full starbase facility years to negate the disorientation. Once they contact the AQ, even that is delayed as development of Warp 10 Tech has to be measured against certain treaties the UFP signed while they were gone.

If the network still wanted Lizards, name one of the redshirts Curt Connors and call it a day.

 

[xortex]

I happened to like 'Threshhold' the concept that is. It goes to Dannikken's theory of the chariot of the gods idea.