Rename An Episode!
- Thread starter INACTIVESamusAranX
- Start date
Rakes and Shovels
Sisko gets a vision from the Prophets telling him that for Bajor to survive the war, its people will have to give up technology and return to the land. Sure enough, the station is abandoned, the starships left mothballed in orbit, and everyone settles down to become farmers. Two months of hard labour later, the Prophets turn up to apologise, saying that they had been partying, got drunk and made up a prophecy for a laugh.
Sisko gets a vision from the Prophets telling him that for Bajor to survive the war, its people will have to give up technology and return to the land. Sure enough, the station is abandoned, the starships left mothballed in orbit, and everyone settles down to become farmers. Two months of hard labour later, the Prophets turn up to apologise, saying that they had been partying, got drunk and made up a prophecy for a laugh.
Nuns and Fathers
The Prophets realize they actually quite enjoyed taking Bajorans for a ride and decide to pull another prank. In a vision, they tell Sisko that Bajor's fate depends on Bajorans converting to Catholicism. In amazing unawareness of their non-linear nature, the Prophets fail to realize they are really paving the way for their own downfall...
The Prophets realize they actually quite enjoyed taking Bajorans for a ride and decide to pull another prank. In a vision, they tell Sisko that Bajor's fate depends on Bajorans converting to Catholicism. In amazing unawareness of their non-linear nature, the Prophets fail to realize they are really paving the way for their own downfall...
MeanJoePhaser
Admiral
Behind the Times
O'Brien refuses to wear the new First Contact style uniform because it "rides me arse too much". A fashion crisis is averted when Garak discovers that the Chief's new uniform was sized more for a "Geordi La Forge" than a Miles O'Brien. A few alterations later, everyone is happy.
O'Brien refuses to wear the new First Contact style uniform because it "rides me arse too much". A fashion crisis is averted when Garak discovers that the Chief's new uniform was sized more for a "Geordi La Forge" than a Miles O'Brien. A few alterations later, everyone is happy.
"Favor the Bolded Text"
jAKE sYSKO'S WIRTES HIS 1ST NOVUL, BUT SINCE HE WRITES LIKE EVERY KID HS AJE, THE NAVEL IS REGECTED BY EVARY MAJIR fEDURASHON PUBLISHER AND HE WANTS TOO NO WHY SO HE FORSES ALL THE STAFF OFF fEDERATION sPACE bASE dEPP sPACE nINE TO READ HIS MANUSCRIPS AND HE TRIES RO FIGORE OUT WHY NOBODY SEEMS TO BE ABLE TO REED HIS STOHRY AND HE SUSPECTS THEIR MIGHT BR A dOMINYON PLOT BUT noG SAYS HIS RITEING SUX AND EVEN THE GENETICALLY-EMBIGGENED bASHIR CA'N READ HALF OF WHAT HE TYPES, eSCPECIALLY BECAUSE IF THR TIPOS, ANDTHELACKOFSPA CESANDPUNCTUATION ABD THE BIZSRRELY PLACED
EMOTICONS BUT ITS OK BACAUSE HE GETS A JOB WRITTING FIR sTAR tRACK wNTERPRISE ANS EVERYTHIG IS FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tHE END!!!!
jAKE sYSKO'S WIRTES HIS 1ST NOVUL, BUT SINCE HE WRITES LIKE EVERY KID HS AJE, THE NAVEL IS REGECTED BY EVARY MAJIR fEDURASHON PUBLISHER AND HE WANTS TOO NO WHY SO HE FORSES ALL THE STAFF OFF fEDERATION sPACE bASE dEPP sPACE nINE TO READ HIS MANUSCRIPS AND HE TRIES RO FIGORE OUT WHY NOBODY SEEMS TO BE ABLE TO REED HIS STOHRY AND HE SUSPECTS THEIR MIGHT BR A dOMINYON PLOT BUT noG SAYS HIS RITEING SUX AND EVEN THE GENETICALLY-EMBIGGENED bASHIR CA'N READ HALF OF WHAT HE TYPES, eSCPECIALLY BECAUSE IF THR TIPOS, ANDTHELACKOFSPA CESANDPUNCTUATION ABD THE BIZSRRELY PLACED
EMOTICONS BUT ITS OK BACAUSE HE GETS A JOB WRITTING FIR sTAR tRACK wNTERPRISE ANS EVERYTHIG IS FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! tHE END!!!!
Sacrifice Of Virgins
Intendant Kira, in pursuit of eternal youth and good looks learns of the vampire legend, and takes it a little too seriously. Soon virgins are vanishing from the station, Jake, Nog, Dr Bashir, and to everyone's surprise, Leeta. Armed with crosses, stakes and holy hasparat, a team of ass kicking Vedeks make the journey across the dimensions to rescue them.
Intendant Kira, in pursuit of eternal youth and good looks learns of the vampire legend, and takes it a little too seriously. Soon virgins are vanishing from the station, Jake, Nog, Dr Bashir, and to everyone's surprise, Leeta. Armed with crosses, stakes and holy hasparat, a team of ass kicking Vedeks make the journey across the dimensions to rescue them.
MeanJoePhaser
Admiral
Your Corduroy Ignited...
Worf and Dax's wedding is interrupted by one of Jadzia's former flames, a fire-breating Charronite who claims he's still in love with Jadzia and sets Worf's corduroy suit (the formal wear of a warrior!) on fire.
Worf and Dax's wedding is interrupted by one of Jadzia's former flames, a fire-breating Charronite who claims he's still in love with Jadzia and sets Worf's corduroy suit (the formal wear of a warrior!) on fire.
Bowel Resection
It's his own fault for fucking around with the orb of time, but Dr Bashir finds himself back in 1952 Korea, serving at the 4077th M*A*S*H, where as Major Frank Burns, he finally learns some humility.
It's his own fault for fucking around with the orb of time, but Dr Bashir finds himself back in 1952 Korea, serving at the 4077th M*A*S*H, where as Major Frank Burns, he finally learns some humility.
Lambada
The craze for close dancing has swept the station, and with it has come a sudden baby boom. Nog is incenced, as he is too short to reach.
The craze for close dancing has swept the station, and with it has come a sudden baby boom. Nog is incenced, as he is too short to reach.
MeanJoePhaser
Admiral
Who Mourns for Porn?
A strict new Bajor law bans all obscene materials and programs. Dr. Bashir treats an outbreak of blue balls, while Quark sees his holosuite profits drop and schemes to find new ways to satisfy the adult entertainment needs for the station.
A strict new Bajor law bans all obscene materials and programs. Dr. Bashir treats an outbreak of blue balls, while Quark sees his holosuite profits drop and schemes to find new ways to satisfy the adult entertainment needs for the station.
Fart Beyond The Stars
Worf doesn't do anything small does he? A shipment of Klingon Kabbage causes havoc on the station after passing through Worf's digestive system. With the stations integrity failing, the evacuation is ordered, and Worf sent into the Gamma Quadrant where he can pollute another sector of the galaxy, on the way through the wormhole, his vile flatulence destroys a Dominion invasion fleet that just happens to be passing through. The Prophets are pissed, and seal up Worf's anus as a punishment. Quark has to brush up the old negotiating skills that rescued the Nagus, in order to save Worf before his arse explodes.
Worf doesn't do anything small does he? A shipment of Klingon Kabbage causes havoc on the station after passing through Worf's digestive system. With the stations integrity failing, the evacuation is ordered, and Worf sent into the Gamma Quadrant where he can pollute another sector of the galaxy, on the way through the wormhole, his vile flatulence destroys a Dominion invasion fleet that just happens to be passing through. The Prophets are pissed, and seal up Worf's anus as a punishment. Quark has to brush up the old negotiating skills that rescued the Nagus, in order to save Worf before his arse explodes.
MeanJoePhaser
Admiral
One Little Shit
Worf's bowel problems get even worse, his once-sealed anus caused a back up in his intestines, leading to a life threatening bowel blockage. Treatment requires shrinking a runabout to near microscopic size, inserting it rectally and blasting out Worf's bowels with ionized fiber torpedoes.
Worf's bowel problems get even worse, his once-sealed anus caused a back up in his intestines, leading to a life threatening bowel blockage. Treatment requires shrinking a runabout to near microscopic size, inserting it rectally and blasting out Worf's bowels with ionized fiber torpedoes.
Honour Among Thieves
It's finally happened. Julian Bashir's genetically engineered intellect has cracked. Enraged by the American English being used in every aspect of Starfleet life, he goes through every official document he can find, correcting it to the Queen's English. When he tries to kill an engineer for refusing to pronounce the second 'i' in transparent aluminium, he's locked up with the Jack Pack. Henceforth, when Sisko has to go on a mission, he has to break Bashir out of the asylum like Howling Mad Murdoch. For no reason, Sisko decides that Worf needs to be knocked out before he can set foot on a starship.
It's finally happened. Julian Bashir's genetically engineered intellect has cracked. Enraged by the American English being used in every aspect of Starfleet life, he goes through every official document he can find, correcting it to the Queen's English. When he tries to kill an engineer for refusing to pronounce the second 'i' in transparent aluminium, he's locked up with the Jack Pack. Henceforth, when Sisko has to go on a mission, he has to break Bashir out of the asylum like Howling Mad Murdoch. For no reason, Sisko decides that Worf needs to be knocked out before he can set foot on a starship.
Range of a Dart
A visitor to DS9 is killed with a dart in full sight of everyone on the promenade. Since nobody seems to have seen the thrower near the victim, DS9's very own CSA (Crime Scene Aliens) is brought in to determine just how far a dart can be thrown aboard a space station...
A visitor to DS9 is killed with a dart in full sight of everyone on the promenade. Since nobody seems to have seen the thrower near the victim, DS9's very own CSA (Crime Scene Aliens) is brought in to determine just how far a dart can be thrown aboard a space station...
Thongs Tighter Than Heck are Right
Quark's skimpy new dabo girl outfits are a big hit with DS9's loneliest losers (Bashir) but violate Bajoran decency laws. Quark lobbies Sisko, the Vedek Assembly, and even the Kai for permission to keep the outfits, but to no avail. However, when Kasidy departs on a 3 month assignment, Sisko unexpectedly decrees that the costumes are perfectly okay by him! In completely unrelated news, Will Riker and Geordi LaForge request immediate transfers to DS9.
Quark's skimpy new dabo girl outfits are a big hit with DS9's loneliest losers (Bashir) but violate Bajoran decency laws. Quark lobbies Sisko, the Vedek Assembly, and even the Kai for permission to keep the outfits, but to no avail. However, when Kasidy departs on a 3 month assignment, Sisko unexpectedly decrees that the costumes are perfectly okay by him! In completely unrelated news, Will Riker and Geordi LaForge request immediate transfers to DS9.
Ink Physician
Bashir and O'Brien celebrate the engineer's wedding anniversary by not telling Keiko, going to Quark's and getting drunk, as all red blooded males are wont to do. The trouble is that in their drunken haze they wind up getting tattoos. O'Brien's "I love Keiko" design is pretty innocuous, but Bashir tries to get a likeness of Ezri, but winds up with a design offensive to all religious Bajorans.
Bashir and O'Brien celebrate the engineer's wedding anniversary by not telling Keiko, going to Quark's and getting drunk, as all red blooded males are wont to do. The trouble is that in their drunken haze they wind up getting tattoos. O'Brien's "I love Keiko" design is pretty innocuous, but Bashir tries to get a likeness of Ezri, but winds up with a design offensive to all religious Bajorans.
MeanJoePhaser
Admiral
In the Cell, Dark Knight!
A bump on the head causes Sisko to believe he's Batman, and he imagines the rest of the cast are Bat-villains (Quark does a great Penguin, and Kira's a real Catwoman!). However, Odo finally gets tired of being called "Clayface" and locks up Sisko until he comes to his senses.
A bump on the head causes Sisko to believe he's Batman, and he imagines the rest of the cast are Bat-villains (Quark does a great Penguin, and Kira's a real Catwoman!). However, Odo finally gets tired of being called "Clayface" and locks up Sisko until he comes to his senses.
His Sway
The question of whether Garak is or isn't gay comes to a head when Sisko sees him sashaying down the promenade one too many times. Imprisoning Garak, he decides to torture the truth out of him, but as Garak says, he isn't a pale shadow of the Cardassian Inquisition. By the end of the two weeks of thorough interrogation, Garak has Sisko convinced that he was gay all along, and that Jennifer and Kasidy were just a way to justify the lie to himself.
The question of whether Garak is or isn't gay comes to a head when Sisko sees him sashaying down the promenade one too many times. Imprisoning Garak, he decides to torture the truth out of him, but as Garak says, he isn't a pale shadow of the Cardassian Inquisition. By the end of the two weeks of thorough interrogation, Garak has Sisko convinced that he was gay all along, and that Jennifer and Kasidy were just a way to justify the lie to himself.
Similar threads
