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Q episode titles that never were

AachQ! - Q has his powers taken away and catches a cold. The end.
QWERTY - Q transports the crew back to the late 20th century. The crew must get jobs and learn to use this "ancient" technology, or die.
The InQuisitor - Humanity is on trial again with Earth history presented as evidence. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Qanon (alternate title: Qontinuity) - The universe is unraveling with different contradictory versions of events colliding. What is real and what isn't? Did Han really shoot first? Can the disarranged crew, with the help of Q, put the universe back into proper order?
 
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"QT"- Once again stripped of his powers and made human by the Q Continuum, Q is banished to early 21st century Earth, and forced to work as a night shift cashier, at a well-known corporate chain gas station.

"I Q-uit!" - Fed up with his life as a night shift cashier at a well-known corporate chain gas station, Q resigns his job, and goes on public assistance.

"Q-tip"- Down on his luck, out of money, and destitute, our hero reluctantly answers a personal ad on backpage.com, that leads to a starring role in the adult entertainment industry.
 
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"Suzie Q" - Q's on again, off again booty call and baby Q mama, Q, is fed up with Q for being 2 decades delinquent in back child support, and time travels to 2016 to discover the depths of depravity Q has fallen to. Hilarity ensues. Suzie Plakson guest stars.

"Sha-Q"- In order to regain his powers, Q must learn a lesson in humility and help a basketball player who wants to be a ballet dancer, and is worried about what his friends and family will think. Shaquille O'Neal guest stars.
 
"Q.S.S. Enterprise" - Q inhabits the ship's computer
"Qounsellor" - Q decides to take the place of Counsellor Troi (though still uses her wardrobe)
:wtf:

Okay, I am trying to rid my imagination of the sight of John de Lancie in that floaty blue dress with the weird neckline.

And the crew's synthetic meatloaf could be replaced with real turkeys.
Charlie Evans did change the meatloaf to real turkey.
 
"Far-Q" - A one-off special made for the 30th anniversary of TNG has present day John de Lancie spliced into footage of "Encounter at Farpoint", kind of like visual audio commentary.
 
From the Klingon Sector:

Qapl'a!: Q decides on a Qu'ick trip to Qo'noS to mess with the High Council

PetaQ!: Q Queers the deal with the High Council
 
J'aQuse!


The Organians, Douwd, Nagilum's folk, and Metrons (who are taken into the group on an omniscientic scholarship) manage to pool their powers and de-power de Lancie Q. He stands trial for 18,457,820 counts of putting anyone else on trial for their species and for annoying the ever-loving crap out of everyone, which among this bunch is punishable by death or showing Wesley Crusher around the universe for the next 50 years. The god-types are the jury, Picard is judge because when it comes to pompous grandiose declamations, these boys know when they're outclassed, and Gul Dukat is executioner because Mark Alaimo is just too cool. Worf is court stenographer and yes hilarity ensues. After many Wesley jokes, Q chooses death, but, in a brilliant piece of marketing by Marvel, at the last second is saved by The Living Tribunal. The Borg then attack because. Everyone wears funny hats and many lessons are learned about the value of not recycling plots, but are forgotten when the beer arrives.
 
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Q Little, Q Late: Q reduces the Enterprise-D's size, along with all its crew to fit (a la "The Terratin Incident" except the ship shrinks too), which complicates their mission to defend a colony under attack.

Q-rantine - Q carries a virus from the Q Continuum which affects some of the crew of Voyager; they must be treated at a Q hospital and separated from the rest of the crew at a critical time when they can't afford to be off the ship.
 
J'aQuse!


The Organians, Douwd, Nagilum's folk, and Metrons (who are taken into the group on an omniscientic scholarship) manage to pool their powers and de-power de Lancie Q. He stands trial for 18,457,820 counts of putting anyone else on trial for their species and for annoying the ever-loving crap out of everyone, which among this bunch is punishable by death or showing Wesley Crusher around the universe for the next 50 years. The god-types are the jury, Picard is judge because when it comes to pompous grandiose declamations, these boys know when they're outclassed, and Gul Dukat is executioner because Mark Alaimo is just too cool. Worf is court stenographer and yes hilarity ensues. After many Wesley jokes, Q chooses death, but, in a brilliant piece of marketing by Marvel, at the last second is saved by The Living Tribunal. The Borg then attack because. Everyone wears funny hats and many lessons are learned about the value of not recycling plots, but are forgotten when the beer arrives.


Candidate for Treatment for The New Fan Film...!:bolian:
 
"OQtopussy": Q fulfills his EternalLong dream of becoming James Bond...sadly, his. Omniscience temporarily escapes him, as he chooses to emulate the Roger Moore Bond, and not the vastly superior Sean Connery Bond. He also learns that there is already a Q in the Bond Continuum, and he is just as cantankerous and grouchy as Q Prime...plus, he has better toys and gadgets than Q. However, Q does get to drive an Aston Martin VanQuish...
 
"Quilting with Q"

Synopsis: Worf starts a new hobby with and unlikely tutor. Hilarity ensues.
 
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