Product Tie-Ins That Never Happened

[Armored Saint]

Chekov's Encylopedia Russica

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Archer's Gazelle Hunting Vacations

Ads for Sisko's Creole Kitchen: We created our entrees! And they're REEEEAAAALLL!!

Picard's Earl Grey Tea

Borg self-help novel: Calm, Cool & Collective

 

[Armored Saint]

Leslie & Galloway multivitamins to literally defy death.

 

[HIjol]

Star Trek Raktajino Coffee
Made from the finest roasted beans on Boreth.

I wonder what Raktajino tastes like. Seriously.

I mean, it must be relatively palatable to humans, because we see a lot of them drink it...

There's probably nothing on Earth that's like it.

Accept no Earth-made substitutions.

KirkWear Men's Shirts. Guaranteed to rip at the slightest touch!

I wonder what Raktajino tastes like. Seriously.

I mean, it must be relatively palatable to humans, because we see a lot of them drink it...

For humans, it's probably an acquired taste. Like wine or raw oysters. Or Vegemite.

What was that product that was popular some years ago-- a type of coffee substitute made by harvesting partially digested beans excreted by a particular breed of cat. Probably tastes like that.

See my post on page 1 for the recipe...and, Melakon, the cat was an Ocelot, and the coffee is called "Kopi Luwak"...yikes...kittypoop coffee...no...hell no...

 

[HIjol]

Federation Certified Dilithium Crystals...accept no substitutes!!!

On the way back from a far away planet?....in a ship that is unfamiliar...?

...does your Chief Engineer report "a serious problem"...and ask, "Would you please come down? It's these Klingon Crystals...they're giving out. De-crystallizing."

Don't get caught with your warp drive offline...insist on Genuine Federation Certified Crystals...the Crystals of Cochrane!

 

[Armored Saint]

Mudd's Venus Drug...DAMN NOW I'VE THAT STUPID "I'M YOUR VENUS" SONG STUCK IN THE HEAD!

 

[cardinal biggles]

I still think it was a major lost opportunity that Paramount and Plymouth didn't do something with the launch of Star Trek: Voyager.

 

[C.E. Evans]

I wonder what Raktajino tastes like. Seriously.

I mean, it must be relatively palatable to humans, because we see a lot of them drink it...

There's probably nothing on Earth that's like it.

Accept no Earth-made substitutions.

KirkWear Men's Shirts. Guaranteed to rip at the slightest touch!


For humans, it's probably an acquired taste. Like wine or raw oysters. Or Vegemite.

What was that product that was popular some years ago-- a type of coffee substitute made by harvesting partially digested beans excreted by a particular breed of cat. Probably tastes like that.

See my post on page 1 for the recipe...

No Earth-made substitutions!

 

[HIjol]

There's probably nothing on Earth that's like it.

Accept no Earth-made substitutions.

...I stand Discommodated at the impudence...

 

[2takesfrakes]

... I admire the courage of anyone willing enough to put this in their mouth!

 

[Armored Saint]

Chocolate? Troi would eat that anytime.

Worf's condom, ridged for her pleasure with Alexandericide gel

 

[HIjol]

... I admire the courage of anyone willing enough to put this in their mouth!

" I had a guaranteed military sale with ED209! Renovation program! Spare parts for 25 years! Who cares if it worked or not!"

'Frakes, I am on my knees! Genuflecting at your Magnificance...this may well be the Post of the Year!!!

 

[Push The Button]

... I admire the courage of anyone willing enough to put this in their mouth!

This gave me a much needed laugh after a really bad week, thank you.

 

[T'Girl]

Sub-commander T'Pol's breast enlargement clinic.

Implants so "real" that your lover will never cry out ...

 

[Nerys Myk]

Voyager Shuttles.

"We Got A Million of Them"

 

[2takesfrakes]

... Wear it for her. You might get Lucky!

 

[Armored Saint]

Mot's hair and beard products, because you should always trust an hairless barber

 

[Armored Saint]

Klingon Augment Pills

 

[T'Girl]

I still think it was a major lost opportunity that Paramount and Plymouth didn't do something with the launch of Star Trek: Voyager.

Wasn't it already Dodge by that time?

 

[publiusr]

Pakled strength Ex-Lax

"We look for things to make us go."

yeah--I stole that.