Product Tie-Ins That Never Happened

Discussion in 'General Trek Discussion' started by HIjol, Jun 25, 2014.

  1. HIjol

    HIjol Admiral and Consummate Peacemaker Premium Member

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    For Example:

    "Commodore Crunch; Ships of the Line"

    From the makers of "Cap'n Crunch," "Commodore Crunch; Ships of the Line" features the same yummy (?) cereal you have come to love, now with the crunchy goodness in the shape of the various vessels of the Beloved "Star Trek" series...yes, how you loved them all!...but in each box, a genuine Lincoln Enterprises approved plastic-cast model of one of the "Ships of the Line"...and, for the lucky finder, a select few boxes will hold your very own "Enterprise 1701" Starship...will it be "A?"..."D?"...or the coveted, technically non-existent "C"???...the more you get Mom to buy, the better your chances...and, read all about your favorite Sci-Fi series on the back of the box!!!...
     
  2. Kevman7987

    Kevman7987 Captain Captain

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    Star Trek brand toilet paper; What the Entterprise crew would wipe their butts with, if the Enterprise had any toilets...
     
  3. Push The Button

    Push The Button Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Cardassian Fried Chicken
     
  4. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Star Trek Communicator brand cellular phones.

    Voice only.

    Doesn't not include; e-mail, instant messaging, text messaging, voice mail, music player, video player, GPS, camera, or apps of any kind.

    Get one today.

    :)
     
  5. Captain Ice

    Captain Ice Cookie Constructor Moderator

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    Star Trek brand seat belts. So comfortable that you'll never realize that they aren't really there...
     
  6. Richard Baker

    Richard Baker Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Janeway Finish Restorer- no matter what happens to you, it will be just as good as new the next episode.
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  7. C.E. Evans

    C.E. Evans Admiral Admiral

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    Star Trek Raktajino Coffee
    Made from the finest roasted beans on Boreth.
     
  8. Bad Thoughts

    Bad Thoughts Commodore Commodore

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    Hasperats (Lebanese and Mexican style sandwich wraps)

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  9. Silvercrest

    Silvercrest Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Worf Brand Prune Juice
    A warrior's drink!
     
  10. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Risian massage oil
    Tellarite ham

    Romulan "windex" to cloak your windows, so powerful it should be illegal.
     
  11. Melakon

    Melakon Admiral Admiral

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    Marie Callender's Rokeg Blood Pies. For a taste like home made.
     
  12. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    I wonder what Raktajino tastes like. Seriously.

    I mean, it must be relatively palatable to humans, because we see a lot of them drink it...
     
  13. Melakon

    Melakon Admiral Admiral

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    It probably tastes like scorched Starbucks, and bitter.

    Says me, with another Frappuccino Mocha.
     
  14. HIjol

    HIjol Admiral and Consummate Peacemaker Premium Member

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    Well, you can have your wish;
    Raktajino is a hot, strong black Klingon coffee. Feddies and terrans like it with cream and sugar. There is a coffee company in Las Vegas called Starbase 1 Coffees that sells an officially licenced blend called Raktajino. It is made of Arabica coffee. Esspresso and Arabic coffee without cream and sugar, are excellent examples of what Raktajino would taste like. (Source: Klingon.org).
     
  15. sojourner

    sojourner Admiral Admiral

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    Do not Drink. Non-alcoholic. NOT An Ale despite the resemblance.
     
  16. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Not to be confused with the novel-verse's Janeway temporary death restorer.

    :)
     
  17. C.E. Evans

    C.E. Evans Admiral Admiral

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    There's probably nothing on Earth that's like it.

    Accept no Earth-made substitutions.
    :klingon:
     
  18. scotpens

    scotpens Vice Admiral Premium Member

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    KirkWear Men's Shirts. Guaranteed to rip at the slightest touch!

    For humans, it's probably an acquired taste. Like wine or raw oysters. Or Vegemite. :ack:
     
  19. Melakon

    Melakon Admiral Admiral

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    What was that product that was popular some years ago-- a type of coffee substitute made by harvesting partially digested beans excreted by a particular breed of cat. Probably tastes like that.
     
  20. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Janeway's Hair Salon. You too can have a Bun of Steel!