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Pitch terrible ideas for episodes

"Star Wreck"

Picard accidentally bumps into another starship and spends the episode looking for his insurance card.
 
"Star Trek: Mandela"
"The Fallen"

Kirk has The Head in his quarters aboard the Legacy-Class U.S.S. Mandela fit with wheelchair access handlebars around his sonic shower. Meanwhile, during a repair/resupply layover at Earth after a fierce encounter with Cardassian Augments, Kyle Riker stumbles upon Dr. Pulaski's sex swing and other paraphenalia while he's setting up a surprise intimate dinner for two in her quarters.
 
"Notebook" (TNG)
The Enterprise encounters world where someone is using a "Death Note" to impose his brand of justice on the world. Picard must decide whether to abide by the Prime Directive or to intervene.
 
Lex Luthor, released from his carbonite tomb, takes control of the Enterprise, and only Superman can stop him.

It's also a musical episode.
 
Star Trek: The Grapes of Worf

Trouble in France calls Captain Jean-Luc Picard back to his family vineyards. It seems that while he was away his elder brother had turned the winery into a halfway house for Risan runaways, and managed to squander the entire stock in a year-long Hefnerian party. His once stalwart brother is now a broken husk of a man, but with a bigger smile than Jean-Luc had ever seen.

In order to save the family business Picard enlists the help of Worf as chief winemaker, who not only motivates the young staff with Klingon discipline (nightly), but introduces a new recipe of bloodwine, made from the blood of free-range targs. The business is saved, and everyone revels in the gore of the slaughter of thousands of the beasts, singing French harvest songs. Jean-Luc's only regret is his wish that his nephew René were there to man up an' sing a space shanty with.

In the end, Jean-Luc is called away to save Wesley, who had returned to Edo and fell into another flowerbed. Worf ignores the problem saying that "the boy lived a long and full life", and that he would "drink a glass in his honor", but could not "rescue him from his own idiocy."
 
lol. some of these are hilarious. im going to get my thinking cap on for this!
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Any Trek series:

[Tech] breaks down.

The [Tech] breaks down causing [Tech] to threaten to turn the crew into vanilla ice cream. The engineer uses [Tech] and [Tech] to partially neutralize the effect of [Tech] so the crew is only turned into orange sherbet.

A [plot device] created by [Deus ex machina] turns the crew back to normal. Except for the fact everyone now has a bronze tan.
 
"Services"

Kira insists that the Senior Staff of DS9 all go to Services at the Bajoran Temple. It turns out to be even more boring than originally expected. Worf, O'Brien and Bashir end up being arrested for throwing darts at the monk leading the services.
 
The Trouble With Nadya Suleman, Jon & Kate, and the Duggars (movie with characters from all the shows)

In this delightful continuation of the "Tribbles" saga, we discover the origin of these creatures. Twenty-first Century Earth got so sick of Suleman, Jon & Kate, the Duggars, and their various progeny that they put them all on a rocket and blasted them into space. Of course, they crash landed on a Class M planet, and each and every one of them survived. Over the centuries, they interbred, inbred, and mutated, resulting in what we've come to know as the tribbles...billions of them. In the Twenty-Fourth Century, the tribbles have become such a threat that the Federation, led by Captain Sisko, and the Borg, led by a temporarily re-Borgified Captain Picard, band together to try to defeat the greatest enemy ever known. But Sisko and Picard have little success and things are looking pretty bleak for our heroes. However, Captain Kirk saves the day when he beams in from the past, and hilarity ensues when he offers them all spots in Priceline commercials, with unlimited use of all Priceline-affiliated accommodations. The "tribbles" ask Kirk to throw in auditions for all of them on Galaxy Idol and, for the 100 most obese of the tribbles, 1000 quatloos each. All parties agree to this sweetened deal, and the tribble problem is solved. The movie ends with Picard, Sisko, Neelix, Kirk, and an also time-transported Spock, Scotty, and Porthos the Beagle on the bridge of Picard's Enterprise. They are all jostling and laughing with each other. "That was sure a close one," says Kirk. "And the worst thing is that the tribbles have never heard of deodorant," says Neelix. "Aye, that problem wasn't tribbial," says Scotty. "But no more tribble from them," say several of the characters in unison. The end (we hope!).
 
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"Services"

Kira insists that the Senior Staff of DS9 all go to Services at the Bajoran Temple. It turns out to be even more boring than originally expected. Worf, O'Brien and Bashir end up being arrested for throwing darts at the monk leading the services.
This is at least as interesting as many of the Bajor-centric episodes.
 
"Up Yours, Fans" (any show)
The producers of the show get sick and tired of fans constantly bitching and moaning about minor nitpicky inconsistencies so they decide to stick it to the fans and give them something to REALLY complain about. They make an episode that violates every continuity they can think of knowing full well it'll become Holy Official Onscreen Canon.

Some examples:
Kirk: My middle name is Henry.
Spock: My mother is a Vulcan and my father is human.
Picard: Starfleet is a military, pure and simple.

One gem from a particularly sadistic producer:
Picard: It's a good thing we'll never encounter the Star Wars universe. There's absolutely no doubt the Empire would nost certainly kick our asses big time.

Robert
I'd pay to watch this one. Well done, neighbor!:techman:
 
Star Trek: The Grapes of Worf

Trouble in France calls Captain Jean-Luc Picard back to his family vineyards. It seems that while he was away his elder brother had turned the winery into a halfway house for Risan runaways, and managed to squander the entire stock in a year-long Hefnerian party. His once stalwart brother is now a broken husk of a man, but with a bigger smile than Jean-Luc had ever seen.

In order to save the family business Picard enlists the help of Worf as chief winemaker, who not only motivates the young staff with Klingon discipline (nightly), but introduces a new recipe of bloodwine, made from the blood of free-range targs. The business is saved, and everyone revels in the gore of the slaughter of thousands of the beasts, singing French harvest songs. Jean-Luc's only regret is his wish that his nephew René were there to man up an' sing a space shanty with.

In the end, Jean-Luc is called away to save Wesley, who had returned to Edo and fell into another flowerbed. Worf ignores the problem saying that "the boy lived a long and full life", and that he would "drink a glass in his honor", but could not "rescue him from his own idiocy."

That would actually be an awesome episode.
 
Its funnier if people pitch episodes that actually seem half way connected to what normally happens in the show rather than saying something like "Troi eats nutella then farts on Worf's hand, because that's just stooopid".
 
"The Illustrated Vulcan" - VOY

After another of Tom Paris' experiments to improve [tech] goes awry, Tuvok is transformed into a mass of colourful yet stubbornly stoic doodles. Neelix spends the rest of the episode tormenting Tuvok with an eraser and pencils, determined to turn him into a 1970's happy face symbol.
 
"Machinations" (ENT)

Whlist visiting a pre-warp civilization the crew of the Enterprise encounters a computer generated menace which is in fact from the future. The machine wishes to destroy Enterprise in order to alter the timeline so that the Federation doesn't turn out to be a bunch of smug pseudo-euroimperialist jerks with a slight case of doublethink. Hoshi is frightened by said machine.

We see someone's tits.

The guest star (Seth McFarlane) dies a heroic death in order to preserve the future of the shiny perfect awesome human race, which means everything turns out okay, and everybody forgets it ever happened. Then, finally Archer says something cliche which lamely foreshadows something from a classic TNG episode and they leave at warp factor three.

"The Serpent's Coil" (ENT)

Enterprise enters the space of a mysterious alien race( Cardassians) who capture them, interrogate them and wreck all the cultural and character development the Cardassians got in DS9, reducign them to cackling one-dimensional parodies.

The crew manage to escape (somehow).

Despite the fact that they kicked the NX-01s ass and nearly killed them all, they don't bother to record the incident in the ship's log.
 
"Univixens" (TOS)

The Enterprise speeds at warp 17 to get to the planet of the naked busty women.
This episode is written and directed by Russ Meyer.

"Dream Planet" (ENT)

Archer's Enterprise comes across the planet of the sentient gazelles.

Robert
 
ENT: The Great Escape..
After passing through a Pathogenic cloud the crew falls asleep and wakes to discover all the doctors critters have become sentiant. Escaping by stealing all the ships shuttle pods.

TOS: The Oops factor..

After sending Star Fleet his report on marooning Kahn on Ceti Alpha V. Kirk forgets to save the file and thus setting himself up for forgeting about it for 30 years.

TNG: The Ghost of Tribbles past..

Seems the Klingons missed a few and now they are back. And they are pissed. Picard must arbatrate a peace treaty before the Enterprise is filled with a Billion furry Ninjas.

DS9: Egg Nog?..

While trying to be One of the fellers at Star Fleet Academy. Nog becomes aquainted with Christmas and is repulsed at "giving" away gifts. Tensions mount when he charges for garland and fruitcakes.

VOYAGER: Do you know the way to San Jose?..

Tom Paris develops a increadable new navigation system that he claims will get the ship home in Two weeks. Unfortunatly while setting the destination he puts in Rarth instead of Earth. Seending the ship and hapless crew directly in to a massive Black hole where they will imerge in the next STAR TREK movie.
 
"Happy Trees"(TNG)
To forward his hobby of painting, Data retreats to the holodeck and calls up a program featuring Bob Ross from PBS to teach "The Joy of Painting".

I would much, much rather watch this one that the Data/Joe Piscapo episode any day of the week. I especially loved the classic Worf line in this episode "I AM NOT a happy tree!"
 
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