Pitch terrible ideas for episodes

[RobertScorpio]

TNG-The Big Spin

An alien forces Picard, Riker, Troi, Dr. Crusher to play russian-roulett with a old gun. Before each pulls the trigger a flash back shows them when they were kids dealing with some issue...after flash back is done, they pull trigger and nothing happens..after last flash back it is revealed the gun wasn't loaded and all ends happy ever after...

Rob

 

[bintak]

TNG-The Big Spin

An alien forces Picard, Riker, Troi, Dr. Crusher to play Russian-roulette with an old gun. Before each one pulls the trigger, a flashback shows them when they were kids dealing with some issue...after the flashback is done, they pull the trigger and nothing happens..after the lastflash back, it is revealed the gun wasn't loaded and all ends happy ever after...

Rob

Let's change that premise a little, shall we?

Call it: "Culling the Herd" by Bintak

Synopsis:

The gun is loaded with two bullets. We use a deranged Wesley Crusher, inbued with Q-like powers of coercion, as the one who forces the Russian Roulette issue, instead of some useless alien, Keep it all in the family, so to speak.

Retain the character flashbacks; maybe bring in the Moore, Ron to ghost write those flashback scenes, so that we get a real stinker of an episode. Then add Geordi La Forge to the dead pool, so that everyone principle to the Wesley revenge premise, is involved in our little game.

Beverly: Click
Deanna: Cllick
Geordi: Click
Jean Luc: BANG!

We exit the episode with two chambers left, not function cycled on the revolver; and one Wil Ryker sitting in a Schrodinger's Cat dilemma. Will he, or won't he be back for the next episode, "Shelby Takes Command!"

 

[Forbin]

Forbin's Pointless Dream Episode (TNG):

Robin Leffler, Sonya Gomez, a tub of Jello-O....

 

[RobertScorpio]

TNG-The Big Spin

An alien forces Picard, Riker, Troi, Dr. Crusher to play Russian-roulette with an old gun. Before each one pulls the trigger, a flashback shows them when they were kids dealing with some issue...after the flashback is done, they pull the trigger and nothing happens..after the lastflash back, it is revealed the gun wasn't loaded and all ends happy ever after...

Rob

Let's change that premise a little, shall we?

Call it: "Culling the Herd" by Bintak

Synopsis:

The gun is loaded with two bullets. We use a deranged Wesley Crusher, inbued with Q-like powers of coercion, as the one who forces the Russian Roulette issue, instead of some useless alien, Keep it all in the family, so to speak.

Retain the character flashbacks; maybe bring in the Moore, Ron to ghost write those flashback scenes, so that we get a real stinker of an episode. Then add Geordi La Forge to the dead pool, so that everyone principle to the Wesley revenge premise, is involved in our little game.

Beverly: Click
Deanna: Cllick
Geordi: Click
Jean Luc: BANG!

We exit the episode with two chambers left, not function cycled on the revolver; and one Wil Ryker sitting in a Schrodinger's Cat dilemma. Will he, or won't he be back for the next episode, "Shelby Takes Command!"

Cute...I LOVE IT!!!

Rob
Scorpio

 

[Jim Steele]

Voyager.

Take your pick.

 

[bryce]

"Nelix's Lungs"

See, it's like "Spock's Brain", but instead aliens steal Nelix's lungs, and then...oh...wait... :doh:

 

[Hofner]

"The Emily Post Syndrome" (TNG)

Picard and Co. make first contact with a newly warp capable species. To celebrate the event and the alien foreheads' eventual entry into the Federation, Picard holds a formal dinner. The TNG crew is horrified when the alien foreheads use the wrong fork to eat their salads. Our heroes are grossed out by this brutal, savage animalistic behavior. Picard gives a sanctimonious, snobby lecture on how inferior these brutal animals are and how they'll probably never be civilized enogth to join the Federation. The Enterprise leaves with the crew sadly reflecting on how sometimes there seems to be no hope for some inferiors.

Robert

 

[Dusty Ayres]

Here's one of mine:

Footbiter (VOY) The female members of Voyager are stalked by a male crew member who has a raging foot fetish. He indulges it by way of a holodeck program he's created that involvesswimming and lounging around the pool, but with a sick kink that he's inserted; that of someone or something biting the feet of the female members (he spies on the women whenever they're using the program by means of a special back door that allows him to observe the women from his com unit in his quarters.) Because this program resembles a spa in its setup, the licking and love-biting of the feet happens when the women are being massaged. Only Seven refuses to use this program, and she and the Doctor are the only ones who raise the alarm when things get out of hand due to the program's constant roughing up of the women, which causes them to be in comas.

Aunt Flo (VOY): After years in space, the women of Voyager are all on the same cycle, and it's that time of the month! Hilarity ensues as the men of Voyager are blamed for everything that happened during their voyage. In a "B" plot, Harry tries to act all moody to fit in, but no one notices.

What? That plot is insane, and impossible as well. It might work as an episode of X-Men: Evolution (Misuse of Cerebro by Jean causes all of the female students at the Academy to have the same cycle as her, due to a low-level telepathic link that she shares with them) and maybe also Grossology, but Voyager? I'm not so sure!

 

[RobertScorpio]

TNG; For You
(a CHRISTMAS episode)

The Enterprise celebrates the season of giving which makes everyone want to give something. Picard gives Geordi a book about the life of Martin Luther King. Worf gives Riker a collection of Klingon opera. Troi doesn’t know what to give, so she gives Ensign Ro a very sensual full body massage. But no one gives Data anything. At the end Picard recalls a time, when he was a kid, and he didn’t get anything, and that it was wrong to make Data endure this feeling of being an outsider. From that moment on, gift giving is against the rules, punishable by a reprimand if ever done again.


Scorpio

 

[Triskelion]

"Convergent Evolution"

A trade negotiation over rights to use the Bajoran wormhole brings various species together from all over the quadrant, and with Q's help, even the timeline.

Brunt and Weyoun argue business tactics over warp core breaches at Quark's, while Quark secretly negotiates with the Ferengi from The Last Outpost and Menage a Trois; Neelix also turns up to barter with the nefarious Ferengi. The bespectacled security guy from First Contact (TNG Season 4) meets the eyepatched busking bard from Voyager's False Profits to discuss their political votes. Leah Brahms and Captain Erika Benteen of Paradise Lost become arch enemies and lovers. Martok arm wrestles the Vulcan captain of the Saratoga from Emissary, the winner being taken on by the Tsunkatse Hirogen warrior, and after that, Laas, the shapeshifter from Chimera.

Meanwhile, Lwaxana Trois and the computer have it out, while Sela and Tasha Yar look on eating donuts.

It's all seen through the eyes of old Will Riker and old Deanna Trois squeezing into their spandex uniforms during a past mission, but it's the future, but in the past. Thomas Riker and Trip's clone get drunk.

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

"Juggerdread" (VOY)

Seven's breasts start going mad after being infiltrated by minituarized Malon Raiders. Now B'Lanna must minaturize herself and a shuttle in order to route out the Malon. Along the way, she finds that Seven's Buxomium Containment Implant has gained sentience and aims to destroy Voyager by releasing the containment field, crushing the crew under her jugs.

Also, B'Lanna gets greased up and puts on a tanktop for her best Ellen Ripley impression.

 

[jgdst]

Star Trek XI II: The Wrath of Lil' Khan

Following the new timeline established in Star Trek XI, the Enterprise accidentally rear-ends the Botany Bay at the Rigel XII Sonic. Khan--now played by Wilmer Valderama--challenges Kirk to an all-out, pink slip drag race.

LOL

"I said good day!"
"KHAAAAAAAAN!"

 

[RobertScorpio]

ST-TNG
FREE LOVE

The Enterprise finds a long lost sleeper-ship. The crew of the sleeper-ship awakens and they are followers of a man named Jenith. He, and his sexy followers, men and women, produce a scent that makes the entire crew of the Enterprise horny for sex. Soon all of the crew, except Data, are involved in various sexual combinations. Riker with Troi-Crusher. Geordi, Reg, Wesley are together with Ro. Picard is with (we never know. Its left to the ‘imagination’ of the viewer)…finally Data is able to do something in sickbay and using the ships ventilation system he is able to free the crew from their orgy of passion. Mr. Jenith and his crew are sent on their way…

 

[ToddPence]

Heck, half of these pitches would have had Braga/Berman writing you a check on the spot.

 

[RobertScorpio]

TNG-
To Bloom In the Eyes of Love

Episode opens up with Picard reading a book about how to properly grow roses...next thing you know he is inside of his dream. But he is now a teenager (played by a teen actor). It turns out that young Jean-luc likes to grows roses on the wine farm, for a hobbie. His older brother and father frown upon the hobby, but Mrs. Picard encourges him. The yearly contest is drawing near and Picard wants to win. He befriends a very sexy MILFish woman, a friend of his mom's. While showing him the ins-and-outs of growing roses, she secudes Picard and has sex with him at her house.

A week later he wins the rose growing contest and is the happiest young teenager in the world. Uknown to him his mom and her friend, the one seduced him, share a knowing glance and both smile at each other.

We come back to the present just as Bev knocks on the door and comes in to Picard's room in her workout outfit, all hot and sexy looking. Picard looks at her approvingly..we now know why he is attracted to Bev..she looks much like the woman who took his flower years ago...

Rob

 

[Leroy]

"QQ" (VOY) Q appears on the ship distraught over the death of his son it seems he was killed in a battle with some rogue Organians. Most of the episode features the crew wasting time and resources in order to cheer Q up.

"Ring in the New Year" (VOY) Voyager flies though what appears to be a vortex leading to the Alpha Quadrant, to their horror they discover they have flown into fluidic space and have also traveled back in time over a hundred years, worse still the Borg appear to be behind it all, and the ship is not just in fluidic space but a pocket dimension resting inside the inner ear of James T. Kirk! The resulting adventure induces Tinnitus in the much beloved captain. This episode doubles as a new year episode and a Tinnitus awareness episode.

 

[KJM]

"Battle of the Odd Couples" (TNG)
The Enterprise is suddenly and inexplicably infested with nanites that threaten to destroy it. Picard calls Starfleet for help, only to find that all their ships and stations have the same problem. Q then appears and reveals he's responsible for this. He's also done this to all other spacefaring powers. Why? He was bored. He's willing to put everything back to normal, but only if Riker and Worf can win a three-legged race against their evil duplicates.

"No Turning Back" (DS9)
The crew learns that Section 31 has been using some sort of technobabble device to mind-control the Federation government, and they start a covert resistance movement.

"The Real Prime Directive" (TNG)
A crewmember is put on trial when he admits to being gay, which is the only crime still punishable by death in the Federation. He loses the case, and in the final scene Picard has him beamed down to Earth to meet his fate.

*episode title*, Parts I, IV, VI, III, V, II (any series)
A standard multi-parter, except the parts are meant to be shown out of chronological order.

"Brown Note" (Voyager)
Voyager somehow triggers a device that emits a "delayed brown note". The crew has 10 hours to modify the deflector to emit a "brown anti-note".
(Just in case you don't know what a brown note is...)

 

[Good Will Riker]

"Blade in Hand." (TNG.)
This episode takes a heavy-handed allegorical take on modern gun-law problems and second amendment rights. However, they do this through a race of Ninja-aleins who only use bladed weapons. Yet they awkwardly try to plough on, getting their muddled point across.

Set this during TNG's season 1 with Commander Riker leading the away team with Tasha Yar and Worf behind him, and I am so there!

 

[euphorik]

"The Starfleet vessel USS Voyager, which becomes stranded in the Delta Quadrant 75,000 light-years from Earth while pursuing a renegade Maquis ship. Both ships' crews merge aboard Voyager to make the estimated 75-year journey home."

oh, wait. sorry. that's a terrible idea for a series.

 

[Newspaper Taxi]

"The Vulcan Host." (VOY)
Tuvok and Harry Kim land on a planet to collect some plant samples, as the plant life there is supposed to be good for medicene. However, it turns out the planet is inhabited. Tuvok makes contact with the village elder who has a broken leg and when Tuvok accidentally touches him the guy's leg shimmers and is healed. Somehow Vulcan's psychic energy can heal the planet's people by touch -- and they're not going to let their new miracle healer leave.

"The Pipeline." (TNG)
Something odd is happening to the Enterprise. Pipes are starting to appear in all of the corridors of the ship. Pipes, as in archaic plumping systems. At first this anomaly is considered harmless, but then some pipes start breaking and letting out water/acid, or steam. As time goes on so many pipes appear that there will be no room for anybody to move -- they'll be entombed in pipes! Turns out to be an alein that needed life-energy from the Enterprise and could only communicate it's need through the pipe metaphor.

"Love's Quandry." (TNG)
A Horta ambassador comes on board the Enterprise while en route to a peace meeting. Data is assigned to give her a tour of the ship...and the two fall in love! It seems the Horta think in hihgly advanced mathmatics and the two write mathmatical poetry to each other. However, their new found romance will test the limits of inter-species and artificial/non-articial tolerance amongst the crew. At the end, they marry, and the Horta stays on as a permenant cast member.