pilots passed on this year sound dreadful!

[Temis the Vorta]

The Futon Critic has been dishing on the pilots that weren't picked up this year. He hasn't made his way to the big kahuna - Wonder Woman - yet, but here are the reviews of many other genre pilots, as well as the non-genre stuff, going all the way back to 2005.

Overall, Locke & Key is only one we should be sad we didn't get a chance to see. (And the pilot may be shown at ComicCon anyway, so it'll end up in our clutches one way or the other.) So don't diss the evil suits, they do good work sometimes helping us viewers dodge some pretty painful bullets.

Highlights (or lowlights):

Poe - Wow, that is some dreadful dialogue. You really can't afford to write badly when the character you're writing for is a writer. Apparently Mr. Poe scribbles very well, but his talent utterly deserts him when when the words are issuing from his mouth. How odd.

Very cool concept, but they were galumphing off in completely the wrong direction with that one.

Halleluljah - I had high hopes for this one, but if the characters were being written as cornpone hicks, I guess I can wait till next year for Terry O'Quinn's next pilot. Apparently the dialogue on this one was so bad, The Futon Critic didn't even want to quote it - you'd have to hear it to get the full effect. Yikes.

17th Precinct - I'd heard it was "a mess." This review provides a lot more details about the kind and scope of mess. I'm sure it would have been fascinating but shows like this don't last ten minutes on network TV. Might as well give the timeslot to something else.

But I can't help feeling cheated at not getting to see Esai Morales as Stockard Channing's ex-lesbian lover (or something like that...?)

There are also reviews of the pilots that were picked up, but no genre shows have popped up yet. Anyway, we'll find out about those in the fall.

 

[Kegg]

So, no Ron D. Moore series eh? Shame. I wasn't looking forward to 17th Precinct (just what TV needs: More cop shows!), but I do like RDM. The description of the series makes it sound like half tired TV cliche (rookie cop, veteran cop) and half what the hell (a terrorist group called Stoics valuing a mystical concept known as science over the humdrum, concrete reality of magic).

 

[bullethead]

Poe - Wow, that is some dreadful dialogue. You really can't afford to write badly when the character you're writing for is a writer. Apparently Mr. Poe scribbles very well, but his talent utterly deserts him when when the words are issuing from his mouth. How odd.

That happens in real life. It's a lot easier to put out something on the level of Nabokov when you aren't being forced to divide your attention between what another person is saying and how you will respond.

 

[Temis the Vorta]

I've never met anyone in real life who can write like Nabokov (or Poe) but I'd expect them not to spout awful babble like this:

"I don't need you to believe in the things that I believe to know I'm good at solving the out of the box crimes that have been coming across your desk."

I'm willing to bet serious money the phase "out of the box" did not exist in that sense in the 19th C. Maybe Poe can also use his core competencies to change some paradigms and push the envelope while giving 110%.
​

 

[Klaus]

That almost has a Sarah Palin ring to it.... *shiver*

 

[Jetfire]

I remember reading 'Awakening' for The CW had a strong script...but they passed...I am guessing picking up 'Ringer' had something to do with it. I know Temis was looking foward to seeing sexy teen zombies.

 

[Dream]

You forgot to mention Wonder Woman, the worst pilot of them all!

 

[A beaker full of death]

I've never met anyone in real life who can write like Nabokov (or Poe) but I'd expect them not to spout awful babble like this:

"I don't need you to believe in the things that I believe to know I'm good at solving the out of the box crimes that have been coming across your desk."

I'm willing to bet serious money the phase "out of the box" did not exist in that sense in the 19th C. Maybe Poe can also use his core competencies to change some paradigms and push the envelope while giving 110%.
​

ugh. Such sheer ignorance of the origins of words and expressions in Hollywood always offends me. I mean, these guys are writers - they should have greater familiarity with the tools of their trade. I had to turn off the remake of 3:10 to Yuma when a character said "Here comes the cavalry" - in reference merely to rescue, not to the cavalry.

 

[scnj]

(a terrorist group called Stoics valuing a mystical concept known as science over the humdrum, concrete reality of magic).

That sounds completely awesome to me.

 

[Temis the Vorta]

ugh. Such sheer ignorance of the origins of words and expressions in Hollywood always offends me.

I did a test: how long would it take me to find out the approximate year when of "out of the box [thinking]" was first used? Answer: about 20 seconds. Maybe the Poe writers have never heard of this newfangled thing called Google?

PS, the origin is earlier than I thought: 1960s/70s. I figured it for more like the 80s. But not the 1880s!

'Think outside the box' originated in the USA in the late 1960s/early 1970s. It has become something of a cliche, especially in the business world, where 'thinking outside the box' has become so hackeyed as to be rather meaningless.

I had to turn off the remake of 3:10 to Yuma when a character said "Here comes the cavalry" - in reference merely to rescue, not to the cavalry.

Now that one did stump Google. Any idea where and when it originated? (I'm guessing Hollywood Westerns, 1920ish).

You forgot to mention Wonder Woman, the worst pilot of them all!

He hasn't reviewed that one yet! (Or Awakenings...)

 

[Mr. Adventure]

I could've sworn I saw an add for Poe on TV. I must have conflated it with something else (Grimm?)...

 

[Temis the Vorta]

Yeah, bet it was Grimm.

 

[Christopher]

I wasn't looking forward to 17th Precinct (just what TV needs: More cop shows!), but I do like RDM. The description of the series makes it sound like half tired TV cliche (rookie cop, veteran cop) and half what the hell (a terrorist group called Stoics valuing a mystical concept known as science over the humdrum, concrete reality of magic).

Sounds like a rehash of Caprica, where the "acceptable" religion was polytheism and the monotheists were a fringe cult with a terrorist branch.

And really, it sounds to me like a misunderstanding of what the word "science" means, the same one that's all too pervasive in the media. Science isn't a specific set of ideas, but a process for observing and understanding how the universe works. In a universe where magic was demonstrably real, there could easily be a science of magic, a discipline applying observation, deduction, and experimentation to derive the rules of magic and how it interacts with the other laws of nature.

 

[RoJoHen]

I've never met anyone in real life who can write like Nabokov (or Poe) but I'd expect them not to spout awful babble like this:

"I don't need you to believe in the things that I believe to know I'm good at solving the out of the box crimes that have been coming across your desk."

I'm willing to bet serious money the phase "out of the box" did not exist in that sense in the 19th C. Maybe Poe can also use his core competencies to change some paradigms and push the envelope while giving 110%.
​

It sounds like something Mulder would have said to Scully in some shitty deleted scene from the X-Files pilot.

 

[A beaker full of death]

I had to turn off the remake of 3:10 to Yuma when a character said "Here comes the cavalry" - in reference merely to rescue, not to the cavalry.

Now that one did stump Google. Any idea where and when it originated? (I'm guessing Hollywood Westerns, 1920ish).

Bingo. You win a kewpie doll. Which is actually older than that cavalry expression.

 

[Kegg]

Sounds like a rehash of Caprica, where the "acceptable" religion was polytheism and the monotheists were a fringe cult with a terrorist branch.

A bit. But a fringe terrorist branch of monotheists is only fiction because they don't have Qur'ans, as it were, while if there are scientifically-inspired terrorists I'm not aware of them.

And really, it sounds to me like a misunderstanding of what the word "science" means, the same one that's all too pervasive in the media.

I assume 'technology' just didn't have the same ring to it.

In a universe where magic was demonstrably real, there could easily be a science of magic, a discipline applying observation, deduction, and experimentation to derive the rules of magic and how it interacts with the other laws of nature.

In fairness to the series they do seem to suggest that's the case. The recap refers to 'magical engineers' and the like. Magic also appears to be used for practical purposes, like fuel.

 

[Christopher]

A bit. But a fringe terrorist branch of monotheists is only fiction because they don't have Qur'ans, as it were, while if there are scientifically-inspired terrorists I'm not aware of them.

First off, every religion has its terrorists, so please don't single out just one.

Secondly, I was referring to the overall pattern, creating a fantasy world in which a belief system that we consider normal in our society is instead the extremist fringe. My point was that Moore seemed to be repeating that pattern.

 

[Temis the Vorta]

I had to turn off the remake of 3:10 to Yuma when a character said "Here comes the cavalry" - in reference merely to rescue, not to the cavalry.

Now that one did stump Google. Any idea where and when it originated? (I'm guessing Hollywood Westerns, 1920ish).

Bingo. You win a kewpie doll. Which is actually older than that cavalry expression.

Do you know which specific movie it's from?

 

[Kegg]

First off, every religion has its terrorists, so please don't single out just one.

Muslims are monotheists.

I was observing that there is such a thing as real-life monotheist terrorists (and the Muslim ones are almost certainly the main real world influence on STO).

So it's not quite as simple a pattern as Precinct 17.

 

[A beaker full of death]

Now that one did stump Google. Any idea where and when it originated? (I'm guessing Hollywood Westerns, 1920ish).

Bingo. You win a kewpie doll. Which is actually older than that cavalry expression.

Do you know which specific movie it's from?

I don't believe it's from a movie (though, in fact, there was a short film that used the expression as a title). It was (and remains) a cliche that referred to movies -- to the deus ex machina of the cavalry charging up the hill just as everything seemed lost. It's a cliche about the Western movies.