Picard’s Tea Order Makes No Sense

[Takeru]

Was Scotty a crew member on that bridge? I'm reaching now. lol

If the computer took into account what ships Scotty was serving on we never would have gotten the "five ships of that name" line. The computer was so pedantic in wanting to know which ship Scotty meant it also should have asked for a specific year or bridge configuration.

For being so advanced the computer was really stupid sometimes, if someone orders water or tomato soup just give them a standard variety and don't ask a million follow up questions. And if Deanna wants real chocolate don't start lecturing her about how unhealthy it is, in that case she made a more specific request and the computer is like "You're sure about that?"

 

[Oddish]

QUOTE: He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

I can see it now...

PICARD: "Tea, Earl Gray, hot."

REPLICATOR: "Share and enjoy."

It produces a cup of some vile liquid that would make Neelix's coffee substitute taste like pure nectar by comparison.

PICARD: "I said TEA! Earl Gray! Hot!"

REPLICATOR: "Share and enjoy." (produces more of the awful stuff)

TV Picard continues to negotiate with it, growing steadily more irritated.

Movie Picard grabs whatever's handy: a bat'leth, a Tommy gun, a phaser rifle, or a personal photon launcher (seriously, Trek needs this) and reduces the replicator to smoking scrap.

 

[Orphalesion]

Guys I think you take that "the computer should be able to predict what you want" thing a bit too far. Yes humans are creatures of habit, but we generally also want to try new things, sometimes we want something different from "the usual", so a system were the replicator just coughs up dishes based on your behavioural patterns, without being prompted, that would be very undesirable.
At most I can imagine that it saves preferences you have for dishes and drinks, like if someone prefers almond milk to cow milk, for example, after a few orders from that same person, the computer would automatically provide almond milk for them in their tea, for example. Those things might also be able to be programmed into your personal replicator (in the Vengence Factor, Riker explains to Yuta that she'll be able to program recipies into the Replicator in the Sovereign's quarters)

 

[CorporalCaptain]

a system were the replicator just coughs up dishes based on your behavioural patterns, without being prompted, that would be very undesirable

Indeed it would.

 

[Tuskin38]

That's where presets come in.

Like if I had to customize my breakfast everytime I went to replicator that would get repetitive. I'd just ask the computer to save a preset as like 'Tuskin Breakfast 1' or something. Instead of having to list out everything I want.

 

[Orphalesion]

That's where presets come in.

Like if I had to customize my breakfast everytime I went to replicator that would get repetitive. I'd just ask the computer to save a preset as like 'Tuskin Breakfast 1' or something. Instead of having to list out everything I want.

Oh, pre-sets definitely. Heh, for all we know "Earl Grey Hot" is Picard's preset for that exact serving of Earl Grey, we usually see him drink on TNG (in a tea glass and without milk)

 

[Swedish Borg]

"Computer chee'lash fruit."

 

[Mojochi]

Guys I think you take that "the computer should be able to predict what you want" thing a bit too far. Yes humans are creatures of habit, but we generally also want to try new things, sometimes we want something different from "the usual", so a system were the replicator just coughs up dishes based on your behavioural patterns, without being prompted, that would be very undesirable.
At most I can imagine that it saves preferences you have for dishes and drinks, like if someone prefers almond milk to cow milk, for example, after a few orders from that same person, the computer would automatically provide almond milk for them in their tea, for example. Those things might also be able to be programmed into your personal replicator (in the Vengence Factor, Riker explains to Yuta that she'll be able to program recipies into the Replicator in the Sovereign's quarters)

Fair point... But Jarok's water? It's just a drinkable glass of H2O lol. There has to be some level of the computer can process a simple request on one demand, & I'd think that bare minimum bar couldn't get much lower than a plain old cup of drinking water.

Sure, some picky folks might want to input an actual degree mark. I'd probably always order mine with ice, but isn't the most common point of plain water from a food slot to refresh you? So obviously cool enough to do that. Nobody is routinely drinking plain hot or warm water, I imagine.

Which is why I think Picard's tea order makes sense. If he'd gotten tired of being asked the temp, like it did to Jarok, he probably just began adding "hot" which is apparently enough distinction for it (I doubt it's a preprogrammed word prompt, if he'd done that, there'd be much simpler commands to say)

So if Jarok had instead just said "Water, cool" or "Drinking water, cold" he might have not been prompted further. So that is fairly simple, but it'd be simpler if it just understood that water requested plain, from a food slot, is probably preferred on the cool side.

 

[Swedish Borg]

The computer on the Enterprise D is written way too stupid to be even believable. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in a writer's head.

 

[Oddish]

The computer on the Enterprise D is written way too stupid to be even believable. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in a writer's head.

And how it was able to somehow generate a highly intelligent and sentient AI like Moriarty, given it's own lack of sentient intelligence.

 

[Swedish Borg]

And how it was able to somehow generate a highly intelligent and sentient AI like Moriarty, given it's own lack of sentient intelligence.

Indeed, you tell the computer, create a highly intelligent character, and the computer says to itself "Intelligence, huh? Oh, yeah, I have it stored there somewhere. Never use it for myself though."

 

[Oddish]

Indeed, you tell the computer, create a highly intelligent character, and the computer says to itself "Intelligence, huh? Oh, yeah, I have it stored there somewhere. Never use it for myself though."

Of course, if they did otherwise, certain things might be a problem...

PICARD: "Computer, set autodestruct sequence."

The computer laughs at him.

PICARD: "Computer, set autodestruct sequence now, authorization Picard lambda eight four..."

The computer gives him a raspberry.

RIKER: "Computer, I concur. Set autodes..."

COMPUTER: "Set it yourself, you bearded muffinhead."

 

[Orphalesion]

For being so advanced the computer was really stupid sometimes, if someone orders water or tomato soup just give them a standard variety and don't ask a million follow up questions. And if Deanna wants real chocolate don't start lecturing her about how unhealthy it is, in that case she made a more specific request and the computer is like "You're sure about that?"

From what I remember the computer just didn't understand what DeeDee meant by "real". And honestly I don't quite understand it either, she was basically asking for a non-replicated ice cream sundae from the replicator (following that nebulous idea TNG had that non-replicated food is, somehow, "better")

 

[fireproof78]

Of course, if they did otherwise, certain things might be a problem...

PICARD: "Computer, set autodestruct sequence."

The computer laughs at him.

PICARD: "Computer, set autodestruct sequence now, authorization Picard lambda eight four..."

The computer gives him a raspberry.

RIKER: "Computer, I concur. Set autodes..."

COMPUTER: "Set it yourself, you bearded muffinhead."

This is why the M-6 computer was considered a failure.

 

[Takeru]

From what I remember the computer just didn't understand what DeeDee meant by "real". And honestly I don't quite understand it either, she was basically asking for a non-replicated ice cream sundae from the replicator (following that nebulous idea TNG had that non-replicated food is, somehow, "better")

I think she was asking for chocolate with real sugar and real fat and not some replacement that tastes similar but doesn't make you gain weight. Real does not mean unreplicated in this case, it means no healthy replacements for unhealthy ingredients.

 

[flandry84]

It was a vocal tic.
Big deal.

 

[Orphalesion]

I think she was asking for chocolate with real sugar and real fat and not some replacement that tastes similar but doesn't make you gain weight. Real does not mean unreplicated in this case, it means no healthy replacements for unhealthy ingredients.

I looked up the script and you are right, she does ask for "real whipped cream" and "real chocolate" and is told that it doesn't fall into the nutritional parameters that are allowed.
Makes you wonder what the replicated ice cream sundaes are made of...

Though to be honest, I wouldn't mind chocolate sundaes that have enhanced nutritional worth. Imagine a chocolate sundae that's just as healthy as a bowl of vegetables.

 

[Takeru]

Makes you wonder what the replicated ice cream sundaes are made of...

Cardboard and artificial chocolate flavor.

 

[Tuskin38]

Of course, if they did otherwise, certain things might be a problem...

PICARD: "Computer, set autodestruct sequence."

The computer laughs at him.

PICARD: "Computer, set autodestruct sequence now, authorization Picard lambda eight four..."

The computer gives him a raspberry.

RIKER: "Computer, I concur. Set autodes..."

COMPUTER: "Set it yourself, you bearded muffinhead."

Reminds me of the voyager episode where Kid Q decided to give the computer a better personality

Janway: Coffee, Black
Computer: Get it yourself

The computer on the Enterprise D is written way too stupid to be even believable. Sometimes I wonder what goes on in a writer's head.

Yes we get it, don't need to repeat yourself.

The show is written for everyone, not just you.

 

[Orphalesion]

Cardboard and artificial chocolate flavor.

Considering how happy she usually is to eat those replicated sundaes, not very likely.

I still think that this whole "non-replicated food tastes better" is a case of "hand-kneaded bread has more soul"