Parents. How would you describe yours?

[1001001]

Digits, i remember you once told us a story about your mom (i'm pretty sure it was you) and she sounded absolutely awesome. I wish i could remember what the story was, and if i could, i'd ask you to repeat it for everyone who never read it. Gah. A mind is a terrible thing to lose!

I think you're referring to the weekend she died.

We were all back home in Los Angeles for my grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary. It was a really big deal. Relatives came in from everywhere, catered affair, the whole thing.

My wife, daughter and I were staying at my sister's house, as were my parents. My mom was trying to make it clear to the two of us how important this party was, blah, blah, blah. My sister and I delighted in tormenting her, so we were making up ways to ruin the party, just to get mom's goat. Mom told us to knock it off, which only escalated our hijinks. We went back and forth with ideas of how we could be naughty children (we were in our 30's at the time).

Finally, mom came into the kitchen having had enough of our nonsense, pinned us both to the kitchen and wall and said "You two better behave yourselves!"

Then without an ounce of self-awareness she poked her finger at us and said: "I want it NORMAN FUCKING ROCKWELL AROUND HERE, got it?"



Just typing that makes me laugh again. My dad and I still quote that to each other. A great microcosm of who she was.

She died two days later.

I hope that's the story you were referring to. If not, well...it's still a pretty good one.

 

[Jadzia]

Expanding on what I wrote above.

I have a good relationship with both my parents, but I do have a stronger relationship with my mum.

She knows me better than anyone, and vice-versa. She knows what I like and what I don't. She knows what makes me happy and what makes me sad. We share humor and stories and gossip and never fall out or upset one another. Our relationship is very positive, harmonious and stable.

My father, being a practical man, his natural state is to be doing things. If we're just sat talking, or he has nothing to do, then that's usually when he'll start with his criticizing and mocking people, and I don't find that very cheerful. He's best when his mind is devoted to tasks and doing things, and he can be good company then.

But the situation that this has created, is that I don't always make a strong effort to talk with him unless I want him to do something for me. Sometimes I feel guilty for that, and feel like I should be doing more for him in return for what he does for me.

He's good natured. Always wanting things to be fair and proper and equal. Perhaps more good natured than most people, But I'd prefer it if he was more accepting of people and accept that they have their own reasons for making the choices they make.

Sometimes I do agree with his criticisms though ~ people can do stupid things.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Red & Kitty Forman is a close description of them both,

They are now looking down from above.

 

[T'Bonz]

Mum was ambitious, but a product of her times (the 1950s). Had she grown up years later, she would have wholeheartedly gone to college and tried her hand at a career. As it is, she got some education and eventually made it to work, plus she was the driving force behind Dad going to college.

But she was a good mom to us growing up. Made sure we learned to read young and provided books - either buying them or (when we were younger) instilling in us a love of the library and taking us there weekly.

Her bad traits - a bit manipulative and selfish.

Now that I'm grown, we get along great. She has mellowed out over the years (haven't we all) and we enjoy a lot of things together.

Dad - very intelligent, but emotionally stunted, came from what I would call a Hell family, and that's kind. Mom's family was pretty dysfunctional but this family put 'em to shame. He's kind of like a robot when it comes to emotions, know he should feel but doesn't seem to be able to do so.

He was gentle for the most part (unless provoked, then he had one helluva bad temper), loved animals, was patient at teaching games like chess, ping-pong and card games, and never insulted you by playing any less than his best. I still think of him when I play certain games.

We're estranged now - his 2nd wife's fault. She lost to Mum back in the 1950s, but years after the divorce, hooked up again. She wants none of Mum's kids (his!) around him and he's asshole enough to go along with it.

Both had good points and bad points, I got traits from each (good and bad). I have lots of memories growing up that I cherish and am grateful for the brains, speed-reading and other gifts they gave me, either through the genes or through nurturing me.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Digits: YES! That's the one!! OMG. That is just so funny, and i LOL'd reading it again! I don't remember you telling us that it happened the weekend she died though! Thank you SO MUCH for sharing it again with us. Your mom sounds like she was fantastic. If you don't mind my asking, how did she die? It almost sounds like it was totally unexpected.

 

[1001001]

Digits: YES! That's the one!! OMG. That is just so funny, and i LOL'd reading it again! I don't remember you telling us that it happened the weekend she died though! Thank you SO MUCH for sharing it again with us. Your mom sounds like she was fantastic. If you don't mind my asking, how did she die? It almost sounds like it was totally unexpected.

She was fantastic.



It was indeed a sudden and unexpected death. She had a massive heart attack in her sleep. She was 54.

 

[Trekker4747]

My dad I'm pretty sure is insane but is nice enough, I guess. But damn if he isn't too nuts about things at times. (His line of thinking: If it's on sale: buy as much of it as you can, whether you need it or if anyone likes it or not.)

My mom, a step or two short of a religious nut. She's not quite "Earth was made 6000 years ago when it was masturbated into existence by God's angels" nuts but she is "God loves you and alway will, and always will and I'm really offended by other people expressing their beliefs, using the Lord's name in vain, or anything even slightly offensive around me." Fair enough, she found religion when she was battling cancer but she's let it change and control her life now. Otherwise a typical, warm, polite motherly type.

Both parents look and act 10 years younger than their true age of 60 and I love them both and have only good memories of both their various quirks, and emotional outbursts, aside.

 

[Vinkula]

My parents are over protecting and it sucks in my opinion. My dad is neurotic about my safety and always asks what I've done, where I am going, what I am going to do when I go out etc. >_>.

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Digits: YES! That's the one!! OMG. That is just so funny, and i LOL'd reading it again! I don't remember you telling us that it happened the weekend she died though! Thank you SO MUCH for sharing it again with us. Your mom sounds like she was fantastic. If you don't mind my asking, how did she die? It almost sounds like it was totally unexpected.

She was fantastic.



It was indeed a sudden and unexpected death. She had a massive heart attack in her sleep. She was 54.

O M G. She was MY age. I am so sorry! I love that story. It is just so funny. Thanks for sharing it with us again.

 

[RandyS]

My mom was a woman of good intentions, but was a horrible judge of character, and as a result, her good intentions caused alot of uneccessary grief and destruction, and, I believe, accelerated her depression and sent her to an early grave.

My dad was a complete waste of space and time and we never had a good relationship. We only stayed in touch for as long as we did because my mom wouldn't allow me to cut him out of my life. This, despite the fact that they had been divorced for the last twenty years of her life. When she died eight years ago, I cut off all contact with him, and never plan to speak to him again.

 

[TheBrew]

I have great parents.

My dad is an asshole, always doing what he thinks is best even when everyone says that it is a bad idea. He is stubborn and has a terrible temper. One of the few people I have actually punched in my life.

My mom is crazy. She acts like a paranoid bird, always worrying and flitting around from one problem to another. She forgets what you just told and important events.

They are also some of my best friends. I can talk to them about anything and I enjoy their company. I did not realize how lucky I was until I was exposed to more of my friends' parents. We connect on many levels and we hang out a lot. My dad and I go to hockey games and hit the bars. My mom and I will go to museums and hikes (and then drink margaritas). They are loving and forgiving, more than I would ever expect them to. I want to make them proud (and I think I do).

I love them very much and they love me.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Jadzia what a wonderful thread. I love reading all the stories ~ good and not so good!

I was bought up by my Grandparents and didn't really get to know my Mum and (as I found out later) my step Dad, until Son was born and I felt I should create family ties.

My Mum is very distant. She is dreadfully pessimistic and mostly wingey. Her favourite phrase would seem to be 'I told you so'.

My 'Dad' is a 'man's man'. Manual work all his life, loves his motorbikes, the pub on Friday night and Sunday lunchtime. Never read a book in his life.

Both are badly racist, homophobic and (this sounds really bad) uneducated.

They have now moved to a 'static caravan' on a site in the middle of nowhere. Dad has given up work ~ they will end up driving each other mad.

My real Dad is a spineless git who left my Mum when she found she was pregnant (60s ~ v bad!) and his Mother sent him off round the world to save him from marrying her!

My Grandparents ~ Nan was a total martyred control freak (seems to be common) who left school at 14 and spent the rest of her life interferring in others. Grandad was a well meaning but weak man.

And my son questions why I think education and 'bettering' yourself are important

 

[Finn]

My parents are over protecting and it sucks in my opinion. My dad is neurotic about my safety and always asks what I've done, where I am going, what I am going to do when I go out etc. >_>.

How old are you? It makes a huge difference if you are 15, 20 or 30.