Nursing homes

[Owain Taggart]

My dad is almost 85 and in reasonably good health for someone his age (my mother died of cancer 11 years ago). He still lives independently but my brothers who live close to him (Dad's in Canada and I'm in the UK, with another brother living in the Netherlands) tell me he's becoming more forgetful and is beginning to have mobility issues. He's too stubborn to accept Meals on Wheels or a housekeeper, never mind home help for intimate care, so if he does deteriorate to the point where he cannot look after myself he would be better off in a home, because he doesn't allow any of his children to do anything for him.

You know, aside from the age, that's pretty much the description of my Grandfather and how he came to be in a nursing home for those very same reasons.

 

[Holdfast]

^Good point, Holdfast. I didn't include it in my own post above, but the rehab facility that I just spent six weeks in had almost as many long-term-care (nursing home) patients as rehab patients. It was considered an excellent facility, and superficially it was, but those who've been following my thread know that I am in the process of looking for a medical malpractice lawyer because of what went drastically wrong there. It scares me that someday I could have to spent far more of my life than six weeks in a similar place.

I hadn't been following the thread; I'm sorry to hear this.

Yes, the thought of spending the final years of my life in a dire and depressing environment is simply unacceptable. Unfortunately it is extraordinarily difficult to find a way of guaranteeing it does not happen as good governance is extremely hard to ensure.

Ideally, in the absence of family knowledgeable/capable/willing to do the job, one would employ someone (or better, multiple people) to intensively monitor/verify good practice. A dedicated professional advocacy service, as it were.

As I don't plan on having children, I won't have family available to check on this when the time comes, so I'm going have to seriously think about constructing some sort of contract, with checks and counter-checks, involving different independent professionals (lawyers, accountants, healthcare staff and so on) to ensure adequate oversight/quality control, should I ever lose the ability to manage the situation myself.

I haven't got round to doing this yet, but at some point I'll have to face it. I just hope I get round to doing it before it proves necessary. Hopefully all still several scores of years away. Touch wood, and all that!