No friendships with Exes

[nevermore]

Ah, I get ya. In my experience, it's been hard to either keep myself from being wistful about what was or keeping him from trying to re- ignite the flame. Been on both sides of that, and with someone I spit on friendly terms with, it was always uncomfortable to the max.

I also think a lot of it has to do with how your relationships tend to develop. I've always just "ended up" in relationships with people I was already friends with, so going back to that once the relationship has played itself out is probably easier than establishing an entirely new sort of relationship...

 

[TorontoTrekker]

So from, my experience and personal preference, once your broke up you're broke up and it's best not to try to do the whole "let's be friends" thing.

I agree, even if the breakup was a fairly civil one. It's best just to put the past behind you and move on.

I don't get this attitude at all.

You date someone presumably because there is something about them that you like, and unless it's a completely shallow relationship, that something is not just sex. Just because you stop fucking a person, should therefore not mean that they are no longer worth knowing. There are so few people in the world who are really worth knowing that cutting one off just because the relationship has changed seems idiotic and short-sighted.

Speaking for myself, there is no way in hell I could ever be friends with my ex-husband. Not after what he did to me and what he put me through. Not to mention that he had the audacity to stand up in public and claim that he was never married to me so that he could marry the guy he cheated on me with.

Then there was the one who had the ecstacy and crystal meth addictions... I'd rather not see him again because it took me months to get him out of my life in the first place. (I didn't know he was a drug addict when we met, or I would never have gotten involved in the first place.)

Others, I've stayed friends with or just never seen again, but not out of any particular desire to avoid them - our paths have just never crossed again.

In short, it all depends on why the relationship ended. There are sometimes very good reasons for cutting off an ex.

The particular reason cited in the OP, however, is one of the worst reasons I've ever heard. Either the pastor has a very odd view of what constitutes a friendship, or the spouse is extremely jealous and controlling. Not good, in either case.