I decided to take some down-time and watch WEAT once again--straight through. First of all, very very nicely done effort by all involved. The end paid off emotionally and the stars of the story were definitely Takei and Moses. Both brought heaps to the story and were magnitudes above the rest of the cast--and Moses in particular brought such tenderness and believability to her character that it was both the anchor of the emotional arc and the jumping off place for suspension of disbelief. It was also a nice homage to Takei and to the character of Sulu that's long been missing. He's been ''under-employed'' since TOS and is finally getting his due, albeit in an unofficial fan episode.
Now let me qualify fully up front that I know and appreciate the extraordinary efforts that went into this project--that part is recognized. However, there seems to be a need to give the script just a little more time before cutting it loose. Dialogue polish--continuity polish--whatever. Too much time spent on the mechanics of getting one of these episodes done and too little on script--but yes I appreciate that valiant people are contributing valuable time and effort away from their ''real'' lives.
James T. Kirk: Kirk's character is far too reactive and needs to be more proactive, confident and commanding. This same issue occurred in the Chekov/Koenig episode. Oh, and James, please quit smirking. It makes you look like Beavis (Beavis & Butthead). Anyway, when the pivotal moment came where Alana made her choice to sacrifice herself for the good of the many, Kirk just stood there. It was his place to say ''that's not good enough!'' instead of just accepting things. Kirk absolutely never ever accepted ''good enough.'' Since Kirk has already experienced COTEOF, he would be even more driven to ''make things right'' this time--even to the risk of his crew. More of a dilemma is needed for Kirk. It can't all be Sulu even though he's the ''showcase.''
Kirk's dialogue was--sorry for my frankness--completely off-character. He said ''extra things'' that just never got said in TOS. Kirk was succinct. He never qualified. Kirk issued orders. He didn't use colorful language in his official duty capacity (or in his ship's logs ''...like a fly caught in amber'').
Kirk's conversational dialogue with Sulu--completely wrong (''...fancy flying'' and so on). Also--would he really risk sending the number one helm officer off-ship?
Sulu would never answer his captain ''...when do I start?'' Sulu was a professional all through his TOS years (except for the Psi 2000 event).
Edith Keeler and references to that story should not have been brought up for three reasons: First, it is going to risk comparisons (when there is none frankly), and secondly, it is far too personal to Kirk--and thirdly and most importantly, I don't believe Sulu would have been privy to the details of that particular ''episode'' as much like the Talos IV incident, the Guardian logs would probably have been locked and sealed for ''Starfleet eyes only.'' Imagine for example if that information got to the Klingons or Romulans? They would be there in a heartbeat to go back in time and (ala Terminator) ''fix'' a few things to ensure better success in their ongoing battles with the Federation. It's just far too important a discovery and critical security concern to throw around in casual conversation between a helmsman and Kirk.
Also, would Kirk really take time out of the critical situation--in the middle of a classic ''ticking clock''--to show Alana around the ship? Would this happen on Titanic? Can you see this happening during ''The Naked Time'' or ''The Enterprise Incident?'' Would anybody really be spared from engineering to rig up a tour of the ship? Not credible and too manufactured to create a nice scene between Alana and Kirk.
Spock had some issues as well both in character and dialogue. He said Alana was a ''charming young woman.'' Not TOS Spock unless he was engaged in some sort of plot, for examle like his ''charming'' dialogue with the female Romulan commander when he was buying time for Kirk (TOS ''The Enterprise Incident'') to steal the cloaking device.
While I back off Scotty as far as his accent, a voice coach needs to teach a little less slurring and more clarity in enunciation--especially if you're going to employ an accent. As for Scotty's character, whether written in the script or ad-libbed is missing the edge Scotty had. There is again some dialogue that is off-Scotty. Too much brogue and colorful language--especially in critical situations. Scotty was generally succinct when speaking to Kirk and fell into his brogue only when talking to himself or his machinery--and always when he was by himself. He, just like Sulu, was a professional, and with years of Starfleet experience under his belt.
How come Sulu didn't recognize his old buddies at the beginning? Thirty years or not, I'd have never attacked my friends. Didn't make sense for some reason.
The Uhura visiting Sulu in sickbay--good opportunity wasted. Felt like ''filler'' when it could have been so much more than a ''throw-away'' scene.
The Kirk-Alana apex of the love triangle--opportunity wasted because Kirk was too reactive during the last act.
I also believe that Kirk should have excused himself from the last scene so that Sulu and Spock could have had a private moment. His presence completely neutralized another memorable moment. I also wanted to hear Spock say, ''remember'' for some strange reason.
The Excelsior looked very very good. Bring more of that quality of CGI to the Enterprise and you got it. I present Starship Exeter as an example of almost perfect SPFX that captured the spirit of TOS but managed to be acceptable currently. STE also puts the CBS SPFX re-do of TOS to shame.
The music was great and seems to have left it's TOS inspirations (either for good or bad). I would, however, suggest it doesn't have to be end-to-end. Some scenes work without music (like the ''remember'' scene with Spock and Sulu). On that same note, the music during the emotional climaxes -- Alana on the bridge -- in the transporter room during her moment of truth and sacrifice -- perfect. Well scored. Extraordinary.
By the way, is it really that simple to disable three Romulan ships--especially considering they have this new technology at their disposal (and cloaking devices)? Unfortunately by portraying the Romulans in this way they ruin ''Balance of Terror.'' Romulans are very capable and masters of space tactics. Also, such critical technology would not be left unsecured on the ships computer. It would have been wiped or have some sort of protection/firewall whatever. WEAT has relegated Romunans to the ''fumbles-McStupids'' of the galaxy.
The first meeting and time spent together between Sulu and Chandriss was amateurish dialogue-wise. A simple polish would fix this. ''Small talk'' is hard to write without becoming contrived but should never be this far off. The chemistry came through but it was wasted on clichés and again, extra comments. I'd have stuck with one--perhaps end it after ''I lied.'' Also, Chandriss could be more compelling as a ''smarter'' woman of the 23rd century. This is too throwback to the woman running in high heels being chased and falling. Besides, there needs to be something in her character that supports her later sacrifice against the sand creature to protect Alana. As an actress she is very compelling and I hope to see her again in future episodes. Since Chekov is back, she has the right to ''re-appear'' too. I do however hope that the venerable transporter doesn't continue to be the ''reset button'' for future STNV episodes.
Oh, meant to talk about the mind meld: The Spock-Sulu mind meld was a little too contrived and bordered on comical. Unfortunately I snickered out loud and that's not a good sign. Spock's character overall is missing his reserved demeanor. This I believe is due to the writing, not the portrayal. We're back to the script dialogue polish issue again.
Bones: I would have liked to see him actually enter the bridge to stand by Kirk rather than just already be standing there. Bad directorial choice. Bones always was walking onto the bridge in TOS. He came there--he was never just already there like a stand-up prop waiting to comment. He was proactive, not reactive. Watch some old TOS and you will see this.
Basically, while it seems like we're waiting for months on end for our ''fix'' with STNV, some of this time could be spent ''smacking the script around'' some more.
My first suggestion: Sit and watch some TOS undisturbed with the writers and director. All this is there and there are some obvious choices of episodes to watch, but I think some ''back to basics'' needs to be undertaken. Call it ''Star Trek Camp.''
Finally onto something just a bit more of a concern: STNV is a hybrid of fans and professionals behind and in front of the camera and is in a ''gray area'' between fan film and professional (just short of perhaps OGAM). While it provides a technical skill level that is continually impressive, mixing levels of acting performances between obvious professionals and frankly, fans -- it's a risk. Love doesn't begat talent and we all know this. The outstanding performances given by both Moses and Takei were in stark contrast to the other cast -- no matter how dedicated or how much they love Star Trek and/or STNV. This is why there are professional actors. They are ''that good'' and this is why they do what they do and are well paid for it (most of them at least). Anyway, before I am misunderstood again, just rest assured that my pondering also includes wondering what things would be like if Hollywood enjoyed half the heart and soul poured into their efforts as STNV does. The movie Rudy comes to mind and what Ara Parsegian said of Rudy's heart. He got his dream of time on the field, and ultimately it was the journey of heart, soul and character that was the message.
Another thing of some concern: I'm glad to see that James Cawley is here to participate in the forum discourse where there's much greater freedom and latitude in expression. Unfortunately on the STNV forums, things have become very ''controlled'' a bit too heavily by ''big brother.'' Criticism that has ''cut a little too deeply'' has been more and more ''edited'' by the moderators there in order to maintain a bland party line of cheering zombies who are ''of the body.'' It's ironic actually, because the only forum topic that seems to be given latitude is the debate over the upcoming ''Blood and Fire'' episode. That particular topic seems to stand out as an anomaly. Perhaps it's because David Gerrold is having a positive impact there on freedom of expression that will ultimately ''open up'' the rather censored environment there. Part of life in the entertainment industry is doing things and getting criticism. It's part of the machine. We don't entertain ourselves -- we entertain others. If all we want is positive feedback and ''atta boy'', we would just open an exclusive theater for just cast and crew.
My final statement: The scene in the transporter room with Alana (Moses), from her emotional speech of sacrifice, to her and Sulu's (Takei's) saying goodbye ranks up among the finest acting performances I have ever seen in the entire Star Trek franchise. Moses' performance in those moments set a new bar and is second to none. She will be fascinating to watch as she continues her career.
Again, a great accomplishment and I'm sure we'll see more.
Sorry to get so long-winded but now that we're weeks after the premiere, I think it's ''okay'' to dig a little deeper.
grow up and find a better way of spending your time. If someone (ie, me) says something that you disagree with, just ignore them. It's not hard.
