I found this new review of "STAR TREK" - http://www.pseudocoder.com/archives/2009/06/03/movie-review-star-trek/
New STAR TREK Review
- Thread starter Fish1941
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Something tells me you didn't find it and you actually wrote it.
I don't think so. The OP couldn't have written the review. It looks to have been written by a complete douche-bag.
Your negativity disturbs me.
And what would you all be saying if the review was glowing and positive? I'm sure not..."this douchebag can't write" etc..
Anyway, I liked the movie but the guy is right on some points...perhaps not articulated in the best way but it's from some guy's webpage...not the NY Times here.
Anyway, I liked the movie but the guy is right on some points...perhaps not articulated in the best way but it's from some guy's webpage...not the NY Times here.
That this douchebag can't write.
Let's call it what it is. It's not a review, it's a simple bash of a movie he didn't like. Nothing wrong with that, but it's not a thoughtful review. It's just an opportunity to type f**k a dozen times in an effort to seem like an adult.
My reply was CAREFULLY worded as it was for a specific reason, which I won't go into here. PM if you want to know why.
Maybe you would...but I think that you guys would cut him a little more slack if he was full o' praise instead of full o' shit.
Well technically it's a review...but who's doing the "reviewing"...some guy from somewhere on some webpage ?? So really nothing to get upset about... I see what the guy is saying but I choose not to focus on where the movie fell short -- or rather I just focus on a few specific issues where it's lacking IMO.
You can do this type of review for any of the Trek movies. Here's TWOK:
Opening Credits:
So the movie begins FINALLY with the old Star Trek fanfare. A nod for the nostalgia buffs, but it goes right into a new theme that has little to do with "Space, the final frontier..." and more with the HMS Bounty. I mean, what is with this James Horner guy? Battle Beyond the Stars was much better, and more appropriate for a Space Movie.
And what with this title? Wrath of Khan? Wrath? Are we to believe the whole purpose of this story is to take a beloved and complex character of Khn Singh and relegate him to some maniacle revenge seeking one-dimentional twit? And what about the entire premise of "Space Seed"? Did they throw that entire point of "planting a new, superior race of humans on a distant planet and wonder what would become of the seed they planted" out the airlock?! Heresy, I say...
Kobayashi Maru:
So now we have the old crew, minus Kirk, and a few new faces, including some Eye Candy in the Captain's Chair. Plotting a course around the Romulan Neutral Zone... oh, wait! It's the Klingon Neutral Zone?! Really? Playing fast and lose with teh canon already, Mr. Meyer? What do you expect from a guy who never watched Star Trek in his life?
And this Vulcan chick saying, "Damn!" Vulcans showing emotions too? What can we expect from this movie. Nothing good I'm sure...
After an ambush by Klingons (one torpedo knocked out the sheilds? What kind of crap ship is this? V'Ger was held off better with more powerful weapons?!) Everyone dies... or so we think. Ploy to scare the fans more like it. BTW, who would possibly believe they would kill off the main characters in the first scene? (Given the movie so far, I believe Bennett would do anything...) Kirk saves the day! It's a Starfleet Academy test and our heroes, who have survived countless missions and saved earth countless times, they have all become TEACHERS. Yep, our heroes are teachers. This is the same man who faught the Gorn on Cestus III?
It's Kirk's birthday, and Spock gives him a book. Why? "I know fo your fondness of antiques." From where? When did anybody know Kirk liked antiques. He can't even work a car in "A Piece of the action". He's completely clueless in "City on the Edge of Forever". Yeah, more continuity violations. McCoy stops by later, and they have Kirk's apartment dressed with "antiques". He gets GLASSES? Yep, I guess they can travel faster than light, but can't fix everyone's eyes. And he and McCoy sip ILLEGAL Romulan Ale! They must really be trying to push the "mid-life crisis" theme to the hilt, because no way Captain Kirk would do this.
Meanwhile...
A new ship: Reliant. Chekov is 1st Officer now (apparently doing better than Uhura and Sulu since they are all the same rank, but they are teachers while Chekov has command experience) They're doing science stuff and come across Khan. How, you ask? Simple - someone didn't know how to COUNT! How the hell do they come up with the idea that this was Ceti Alpha VI? Even if Ceti Alpha VI exploded, this planet would still be the FIFTH planet in the system?! They should be at Ceti Alpha VII! More stupidity.
And why didn't Kirk notify anybody to stay away from the entire system because of Khan? Chekov FINALLY comes to the conclusion when reading a lap belt that says "Botony Bay". Really? Don't you t5hink this would have been common knowledge info they need before going in system and beaming down to planets? I refuse to believe Starfleet is this idiotic...
And how convenient that Khan remembers Chekov. Khan was a first season episode, and Chekov wasn't on board yet. More playing fast and lose with established canon I see.
And how does Khan subdue an entire Federation starship with only the contents of his cargo bays and his band of Billy Idol video rejects? Magic eels. How convenient...
Kirk Goes Space Happy
Kirk and his merry band of teaching heroes are going on a cadet cruise. They meet Scotty, who's gotten fat (does Starfleet NOT have weight control policies? C'mon...). Saavik the emotional Vulcan blasts the ship out of dock at 1/4 impulse - Haha, very funny moment. Hope nobody working at the Dock was killed!
Garbled communication from yet another "Kirk's old flame flavor of the week". At least we know he's still a womanizer, but he actually cares? Not the Kirk I know. Kirk sees Spock, and GUESS WHAT?! Yep, they're the only ship in the WHOLE DAMN QUADRANT. And now Kirk gets command again of his ship. Wasn't this all in TMP? Next you'll tell me he gets to keep command because something happens to the old Captain at the end of the movie... OOPS!
Just what is Genesis? We get to find out that some crazy scientists, headed by Kirk's old flame, came up with a way to create new life by first atomically enialating what it used to be. Gee, I wonder if Carol got the idea for this while dating Kirk (because from those ashes came... well, we're not there yet)? Who comes up with the ultimate resource maker AND the ultimate weapon of mass doom at the same time? Geez, what kind of freaks are working in the Federation?! And isn't it now convenient that Khan's been picked up by these guys too?! And that Enterprise is also the only ship in the quadrant? And Kirk's now onboard her as captain with his old crew? Can you say Coincidence?
___________________________
Opening Credits:
So the movie begins FINALLY with the old Star Trek fanfare. A nod for the nostalgia buffs, but it goes right into a new theme that has little to do with "Space, the final frontier..." and more with the HMS Bounty. I mean, what is with this James Horner guy? Battle Beyond the Stars was much better, and more appropriate for a Space Movie.
And what with this title? Wrath of Khan? Wrath? Are we to believe the whole purpose of this story is to take a beloved and complex character of Khn Singh and relegate him to some maniacle revenge seeking one-dimentional twit? And what about the entire premise of "Space Seed"? Did they throw that entire point of "planting a new, superior race of humans on a distant planet and wonder what would become of the seed they planted" out the airlock?! Heresy, I say...
Kobayashi Maru:
So now we have the old crew, minus Kirk, and a few new faces, including some Eye Candy in the Captain's Chair. Plotting a course around the Romulan Neutral Zone... oh, wait! It's the Klingon Neutral Zone?! Really? Playing fast and lose with teh canon already, Mr. Meyer? What do you expect from a guy who never watched Star Trek in his life?
And this Vulcan chick saying, "Damn!" Vulcans showing emotions too? What can we expect from this movie. Nothing good I'm sure...
After an ambush by Klingons (one torpedo knocked out the sheilds? What kind of crap ship is this? V'Ger was held off better with more powerful weapons?!) Everyone dies... or so we think. Ploy to scare the fans more like it. BTW, who would possibly believe they would kill off the main characters in the first scene? (Given the movie so far, I believe Bennett would do anything...) Kirk saves the day! It's a Starfleet Academy test and our heroes, who have survived countless missions and saved earth countless times, they have all become TEACHERS. Yep, our heroes are teachers. This is the same man who faught the Gorn on Cestus III?
It's Kirk's birthday, and Spock gives him a book. Why? "I know fo your fondness of antiques." From where? When did anybody know Kirk liked antiques. He can't even work a car in "A Piece of the action". He's completely clueless in "City on the Edge of Forever". Yeah, more continuity violations. McCoy stops by later, and they have Kirk's apartment dressed with "antiques". He gets GLASSES? Yep, I guess they can travel faster than light, but can't fix everyone's eyes. And he and McCoy sip ILLEGAL Romulan Ale! They must really be trying to push the "mid-life crisis" theme to the hilt, because no way Captain Kirk would do this.
Meanwhile...
A new ship: Reliant. Chekov is 1st Officer now (apparently doing better than Uhura and Sulu since they are all the same rank, but they are teachers while Chekov has command experience) They're doing science stuff and come across Khan. How, you ask? Simple - someone didn't know how to COUNT! How the hell do they come up with the idea that this was Ceti Alpha VI? Even if Ceti Alpha VI exploded, this planet would still be the FIFTH planet in the system?! They should be at Ceti Alpha VII! More stupidity.
And why didn't Kirk notify anybody to stay away from the entire system because of Khan? Chekov FINALLY comes to the conclusion when reading a lap belt that says "Botony Bay". Really? Don't you t5hink this would have been common knowledge info they need before going in system and beaming down to planets? I refuse to believe Starfleet is this idiotic...
And how convenient that Khan remembers Chekov. Khan was a first season episode, and Chekov wasn't on board yet. More playing fast and lose with established canon I see.
And how does Khan subdue an entire Federation starship with only the contents of his cargo bays and his band of Billy Idol video rejects? Magic eels. How convenient...
Kirk Goes Space Happy
Kirk and his merry band of teaching heroes are going on a cadet cruise. They meet Scotty, who's gotten fat (does Starfleet NOT have weight control policies? C'mon...). Saavik the emotional Vulcan blasts the ship out of dock at 1/4 impulse - Haha, very funny moment. Hope nobody working at the Dock was killed!
Garbled communication from yet another "Kirk's old flame flavor of the week". At least we know he's still a womanizer, but he actually cares? Not the Kirk I know. Kirk sees Spock, and GUESS WHAT?! Yep, they're the only ship in the WHOLE DAMN QUADRANT. And now Kirk gets command again of his ship. Wasn't this all in TMP? Next you'll tell me he gets to keep command because something happens to the old Captain at the end of the movie... OOPS!
Just what is Genesis? We get to find out that some crazy scientists, headed by Kirk's old flame, came up with a way to create new life by first atomically enialating what it used to be. Gee, I wonder if Carol got the idea for this while dating Kirk (because from those ashes came... well, we're not there yet)? Who comes up with the ultimate resource maker AND the ultimate weapon of mass doom at the same time? Geez, what kind of freaks are working in the Federation?! And isn't it now convenient that Khan's been picked up by these guys too?! And that Enterprise is also the only ship in the quadrant? And Kirk's now onboard her as captain with his old crew? Can you say Coincidence?
___________________________
Something tells me that this comment was uncalled-for. No, wait - that's me telling you.
I must have missed the scene with the USS George Kirk. How bad ass is Captain Robau? He's so bad ass his first officer had a ship named for him posthumously before he even died.
Oh no you don't! Not another one of these badass threads!!
One more and I'm going to be forced to close this thread down....I don't want to but you'll leave me no choice.
Cakes is so bad ass, she can close a thread without being a Mod.
The guy is obviously a hater but he does make some good points as well as a few mistakes.
I thought it was hilarious!
No, I DID NOT. And don't make assumptions about me. I dislike it . . . intensely. All you had to do was ask, instead of making one.
And badly written or not, that review brought up a lot of points that did not make sense to me when I saw the film. I had even forgotten to include them in my own review.
Typical critique from the review:
The author of the review is a dimwitted child.
The author of the review is a dimwitted child.
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