New girlfriend's birthday is soon

[Ethros]

So first of all for the thread title I used "girlfriend" but really I'd say it's still a bit early to firmly say that.

Just quickly explain- I met this girl on a dating app on... Friday 21st July, so not even 3 full weeks ago yet. Since then we've met another 5 times, so 6 dates so far. So it's going well and we like each other a lot and you know hey hopefully it will go somewhere.

The issue I have is it's her birthday on Monday (14th August), she'll be 25. And she's not super duper close to her family so isn't too fussed about spending it with them, and so has said she would like to spend it with me.

Now that's lovely and great- but my point is I'm not really sure what to do. Like it's still pretty early, not even a month, so I'm feeling a bit under pressure tbh for what to do and what to get her, for a big day for "her" but still seems early for "us."


So as for what to do- I guess a simple thing would be to take her out for a nice meal somewhere. But as we've been in the early stages of dating so recently like we've already done that quite a few times already, so I'm thinking it won't feel that special.

And for what to get her- I mean we're getting to know each other at this stage, but not to the point yet where it's like "oh I know exactly what she wants!" kinda thing.




So I'm just venting here really. Any suggestions, questions or ideas are welcome.
(I'm a terrible cook btw, so that's not really an option!)

 

[auntiehill]

Take her somewhere. A fun dinner (doesn't have to be expensive) and out to some place she would like--a movie, a museum , a romantic stroll through the park, etc. Spending time with her is the important thing.

Do something silly, if you're up for it. That will help you get to know each other even better.

 

[Guy Gardener]

She will still expect a present.

You're still making first impressions.

If you underspend, you're cheap.

If you over spend, you're a psycho.

 

[Refuge]

So first of all for the thread title I used "girlfriend" but really I'd say it's still a bit early to firmly say that.

Just quickly explain- I met this girl on a dating app on... Friday 21st July, so not even 3 full weeks ago yet. Since then we've met another 5 times, so 6 dates so far. So it's going well and we like each other a lot and you know hey hopefully it will go somewhere.

The issue I have is it's her birthday on Monday (14th August), she'll be 25. And she's not super duper close to her family so isn't too fussed about spending it with them, and so has said she would like to spend it with me.

Now that's lovely and great- but my point is I'm not really sure what to do. Like it's still pretty early, not even a month, so I'm feeling a bit under pressure tbh for what to do and what to get her, for a big day for "her" but still seems early for "us."


So as for what to do- I guess a simple thing would be to take her out for a nice meal somewhere. But as we've been in the early stages of dating so recently like we've already done that quite a few times already, so I'm thinking it won't feel that special.

And for what to get her- I mean we're getting to know each other at this stage, but not to the point yet where it's like "oh I know exactly what she wants!" kinda thing.




So I'm just venting here really. Any suggestions, questions or ideas are welcome.
(I'm a terrible cook btw, so that's not really an option!)

How about a pony?

Just kidding. You know I wouldn't spend tooo much. Plenty of time to buy bigger ticket gifts next birthday. Definitely decent flowers.

 

[SPCTRE]

As you guys still don't know each other very well, I'd say go for activities that allow for time to actually, you know, get to know each other better.

Going to see a movie is great, but it's not really a great way to interact/chat.

Also, don't overdo it on the present in terms of expenses so as not to spook her.

 

[DimesDan]

As you guys still don't know each other very well, I'd say go for activities that allow for time to actually, you know, get to know each other better.

Going to see a movie is great, but it's not really a great way to interact/chat.

Also, don't overdo it on the present in terms of expenses so as not to spook her.

All this is very true, my now wife's birthday wasn't long after we met (well, six weeks or so) and because she was in the UK and not home for it, I gave her a card, a small gift and we hung out together all day in Bath.

 

[Jedman67]

Flowers are pretty safe, make sure to have a fun time - try to get to know each other. A nice walk in a park, Go Karts, Mini Golf; all those can work.
Ask her for suggestions on where to go, what she'd like to do.

 

[Ethros]

Thanks for the ideas guys, she's busy during the daytime so will be evening only. But yeah, don't think I wanna go overboard with gifts, nice flowers and probably a card, somewhere nice to eat etc. We only went bowling last week so might have a look for some kind of activity to do as well

 

[sbk1234]

This would be a great time to propose!

No, just kidding. As others have said, keep it simple. A nice dinner should be fine. Nothing too fancy. Maybe a Black Angus, Claim Jumper or something of about that level. It's better than Denny's, but not so fancy as to be frightening.

After dinner, a simple movie, go listen to some music somewhere, keep it mostly casual.

 

[Relayer1]

She will still expect a present.

You're still making first impressions.

If you underspend, you're cheap.

If you over spend, you're a psycho.

Yeah this !

No pressure.

 

[Refuge]

Wonder how many women replied in this thread? Whether you get a different viewpoint. Age would play a part too of course.

Good luck with the flowers. We all like different flowers.. not to make this harder. I love traditional roses but yellow tulips would seal the deal

 

[Timewalker]

Just a note about flowers: Make sure she's not allergic. It's a nice thought, but not nice consequences if you give flowers or scented stuff to someone with allergies.

 

[Sgt_G]

She will still expect a present.

You're still making first impressions.

If you underspend, you're cheap.

If you over spend, you're a psycho.

A no-win scenario. What Would Kirk Do?

@Ethros: If it was a first date, I'd say skip the dinner & movie, and take her to the museum, zoo, or botanical garden. You want her to feel safe, where she's around other people. You want to talk and get to know each other (which you can't do watching a movie). If you just go for a walk in the park, you might get stuck for what to talk about. At the museum or zoo, there are things to use as a conversation starter.

So, you're a month into this. Hopefully you have some idea of what she likes and doesn't like. You can surprise her, which is risky, or you can come up with two or three ideas and ask her which she'd like to do, which has different risks involved.

If you're thinking about buying jewelry: ear rings. From what I've noticed, most women wear the same rings all the time and never swap them out. A lot of women wear the same bracelets and necklaces daily and only swap out when dressing up. But it seems to me that women tend to change ear rings often. My wife doesn't wear them (no piercings) except when dressing up and will spend twenty minutes picking out "the right pair" to go with her dress.

 

[Guy Gardener]

Buy her a star.

Oh.

Apparently, that is a con.

Never mind.

 

[Refuge]

If you're thinking about buying jewelry: ear rings. From what I've noticed, most women wear the same rings all the time and never swap them out. A lot of women wear the same bracelets and necklaces daily and only swap out when dressing up. But it seems to me that women tend to change ear rings often. My wife doesn't wear them (no piercings) except when dressing up and will spend twenty minutes picking out "the right pair" to go with her dress.

That is a pretty good observation. Example I alternate between a cross and a heart.. necklace wise. Barely wear a ring, though occasionally put my wedding band on. Earrings are fair game.