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Need Advice

S

smartass505

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I need some advice, should i give this letter to the girl or should i keep it to myself. Should i add/delete anything. I am very torn on this. What should i do?

Thanks

smartass505

P.S. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

Hi *,

My name is *. You formally introduced yourself to me today, but I already knew who you were. Now that I sound like a stalker, let me start from the beginning and explain…

I can’t tell you the exact date of when I first saw you, but I can tell you that I was mesmerized. I have NEVER seen such a beautiful girl in my life, with your piercing green eyes and breathe taking smile, my heart melted. Ever since that first time I saw you I kept coming back just hoping to get a glimpse of you.

Several times I came back I was overjoyed to find out you would be my waitress and every time, you impressed me more and more. I realized you were not only beautiful; you really seemed like a genuine, caring and nice person, a rarity these days.

Now to be honest with you, over the months of coming in I did try and find out a few tidbits of information about you. I must say it was a sad day when I heard you had a boyfriend, but at the same time I could understand, you are a one in a billion catch and any guy would be lucky to have you.

It wasn’t until last week when you recognized me from a previous occasion and came over for a little talk that I realized you really were that person I thought you were. From that short conversation we had I knew I had to do something. I finally had to build up the courage to ask you out, which is no easy feat for me.

Since that day I have lost countless hours of sleep thinking of the right thing to say. I asked for advice from friends, read numerous articles on doing and saying the right things and thought of you every step of the way. I was so close to asking you out.

That brings me to today. Once again you were my waitress and to my disbelief you introduced yourself to me. That made my day!!! But alas, everything that seems too good to be true probably is. I saw a ring, a ring on the finger that tells others you were taken. I was devastated. Not knowing if it is worn to ward off potential suitors (which believe it or not I know a few girls who do that) or you were actually engaged, I took a chance, probably the biggest one I have taken in a while, I left you my phone number.

For that, I wanted to offer my apologies. I should have never done that, you deserve better than to be left a note with a phone number. You should be properly asked out like the lady you are. I am truly SORRY for that.

And now here I am 3 in the morning, unable to sleep, slightly depressed and wanting to get this out. I may never give this letter to you, but I just needed to finally get the feeling and thoughts out of my head.

Thanks for reading, and if you are really getting married, Congratulations. He is one lucky guy.

I’m sure I will see you again,
*
 
Keep it to yourself and move on. If she admitted to having a boyfriend and now is sporting a ring, she's taken.
 
I can give you some advice, based on the fact that I'm a waitress, and have in other circumstances been sought after by many...
Please, keep the letter to yourself. It is fine that you feel that way, but there is something to be said for subtlety. Leaving her a phone number was fine; if she was at all interested, she will call you. But if you go telling her you're madly in love with her, before she ever goes on one date with you, that's going to raise some red flags for her real quick - at least it should. There's a time and a place for everything
 
Your first post is this? Did you join this board just to ask for dating advice? This is a Star Trek board! This is the worst place to ask for advice!
 
Smartass505, it sounds like you have put a lot of work into that letter. My first instinct was to advise you to take that letter and destroy it immediately...but now my advice is that you save that letter somewhere where no one else will find it, and keep it for a few years. Then, when you will (presumably) have had more life experiences, re-read the letter, and thank God you didn't give it to her. Pouring out your heart to a woman that you're not even dating (and even then,use much discretion) is not something that she would find a turn-on.
 
Definitely keep the letter to yourself. Giving it to the girl won't help you. She's already taken, and when she discovers that a guy she barely knows is that emotionally wrapped up in her, she might not talk to you ever again.
 
She may also be a total bitch. Happened to me once. The girl seemed awesome at first but the more I got to know her the more I realized she was not a decent person.
 
I concur with the above posters. Keep the letter. I used to be a barmaid and being friendly/mild flirting was part of the job. But that's all it is. I'm afraid you're just going to have to be happy with a good waitress that knows your name and to be honest ~ that's a bonus in itself:)
 
I love these kind of threads. :lol:

I know, right? I told galleywest last night that TrekBBS is the only place I feel qualified to give dating advice.

Advice

Don't give her that letter. Destroy it! She has a boyfriend/fiancé, so that ship has sailed. This is a zero sum game- if you break them up, you're the jerk who broke an engagement. If she shows her man the letter, you might be the jerk who gets his face broke for stepping to his lady.

You're obviously a thoughtful guy- don't waste time on something you can't have.
 
Woah, really go with the burn the letter option. You do not want to give her that.
 
L'Audauce, L'Audauce, tojours, L'Auduace.

Go for it. You only live once and you may end up regretting it one day that you never at least tried to find out the deal with this chick.

If I was a chick and I got your letter, I wouldnt think you were a stalker. It sounds like a pretty decent letter and you are telling her how you feel. Great love stories have to start somewhere and perhaps in 50 years, while you and her are celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary, both of you will have a nice story to tell your guests.

Dude, I say go for it!
 
If I was a chick and I got your letter, I wouldnt think you were a stalker. It sounds like a pretty decent letter and you are telling her how you feel. Great love stories have to start somewhere and perhaps in 50 years, while you and her are celebrating your 50th wedding anniversary, both of you will have a nice story to tell your guests.

Dude, I say go for it!

I am an actual chick and if I got this letter, I would be creeped-out and upset. If I'm already engaged, the chances of my breaking that engagement because of a letter from a stranger (unless that stranger is Hugh Jackman) is nil. You would be putting her in the very awkward position of having to confront and deal with you in a public forum i.e. the restaurant where she works in front of all her co-workers and patrons.
 
Smartass my young friend (assuming you are young), if it helps any, I did the same thing when I was younger. I gave a letter to a girl I liked, and the whole thing got out of hand so fast it was unbelieveable. She came to regard me as a stalker, and threatened me with the cops. In fact, things got so bad that the incident haunted me for years afterward and damn near destroyed my faith in people. All I did was reach out to a girl I liked, and she responded with suspicion and hatred. It's sad, but that's the way it works. I agree with everbody here. Burn the letter and forget it. Don't make the same mistake I did.
 
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