My Father Has Died

It's hard to see someone go one piece at a time. My grandfather went that way.

 

It'll be three years since the official diagnosis next October, although I suspect I was seeing symptoms as far back as November 2016.

 

I am alone with a dying man, it's my fiancee's father. I feel sad. I didn't know him like she did. 62 years he was in Kim's life. A support, a advocate, a pillar of compassion and hope. They both have endless memories of togetherness with each other. Kim steps out of the hospital room to let them know we will stay into the night in the hospice her father his breathing pattern the only way we know he is alive. He barely recovered from Covid just to get pneumonia no food or water by mouth, no feeding tube a week later. Her father and I are calm as he takes his last breath of life then no more breathes. It's so quiet as he dies so peaceful. Kim returns and knows right away he was gone. It was my privilege to be the only one there for his transition to pass. 3-13-23 10:53 pm.. Ken passed on. RIP.

 

I am so sorry. Were you close? We lost dad 5 years ago now. It was the day before Thanksgiving. We were getting the house all picked up and set up that day and we got the call. We knew the end was near, but we were only like an hour from going over there that day. We did say our good byes already and told him it was okay to go. His last bite on food was a piece of pie. He loved pie. He was in a nursing home and not able to really know us at this point. His sister had called to tell him it was okay to go and that she loved him. He knew it was her, even though he couldn't talk at that point, a single tear went down his cheek, he was not a crier kind of guy. He was kind of a hard person to know.

Because of the holiday we had to wait until Jan. to have him buried. He was military so it was at a natl. cemetery so had the folded flag and taps and gun salute. That always gets me. He served his country for over 20 years. My birthday is in March so only a couple of months after he was buried I had my birthday. And grief is a funny/crazy thing. One minute. I felt fine like I had got all the tears and stuff out. The next I was crying. I got up that day and just cried and cried. My first birthday without my dad. And we went to the restaurant where we would go and got seated at the same table we always seemed to get but he was not there. The empty chair really got to me.

But now over 5 years later, I am okay I have some peace with it. I still get sad sometimes. But I am okay. When a person first dies it is really hard to think you will ever be okay again. But it does happen. Each of us in there own time and way. It is still hard for mom too of course. But we are okay. Thanks for sharing and know one day you will be okay and your family. Take care.

 

Yes, take care of yourself. I am sorry.

 

Yeah, he was a large and cute man, and was my best friend in this life.

 

Really sorry to read this, thoughts are with you at this time.