My Brain Tumor

[doubleohfive]

I'll admit to having a bit of a break-down in my ICU room Wednesday morning with my father. No so much from what's happening, I'm still pretty much OK with it, but mostly from the stress of surgery itself.

I didn't like the pain, the hassle, the catheter, not getting good night's sleep...

The lack of sleep, in concert with the stress of all of this as well as the abrupt change and interruption to your normal lifestyle would of course lead to such a reaction. It's normal. It's human.

and I even went down a bit of a blasphemy route and blamed and cursed God for putting me through all of this when, for the most part and comparatively, I'm a good person. I found it offensive that I, a good person, has to suffer through this (granted in a minor way compared to how many other "good" people suffer) while scum of the earth live healthy, good, lives.

I think you've more than earned a little venting at the Big Guy© for all of this. Besides, even if you meant it all, you yourself said you're a good person. That counts for a lot too.

And you're right. There are people on this earth who really ar the scum of the earth who live healthy, luxury lives while people like you suffer through this kind of thing. Life's not fair. I know you already know that and I am not trying to be patronizing. I just agree with you that it sucks. If anything I can tell you with no compunction that you are handling all of this much, much better than I would.

I think it was mostly from the stress, this was the first operation and hospital stay I've had in my adult life, and I don't handle being tired and hungry very well.

I'm the same way. Take away my regular sleep pattern, my diet, and I become an irrational, emotional person. I've fucked up a few things in my life because I've let myself get to that point a few times and there's just no way to repair it, so I understand all too well what you mean.

I feel good now, am in decent spirits still have a bit of light-heartededness to this thing but I just want this overwith. I'm tired of hospitals.

Hang in there buddy. It will all be done with soon and you'll be glad for it. Until then, I'm sure I speak for all of us here when I say we're thinking of you.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Being in the hospital just makes not being in the hospital seem that much better.

 

[TheBrew]

I'll admit to having a bit of a break-down in my ICU room Wednesday morning with my father. No so much from what's happening, I'm still pretty much OK with it, but mostly from the stress of surgery itself.

I didn't like the pain, the hassle, the catheter, not getting good night's sleep and I even went down a bit of a blasphemy route and blamed and cursed God for putting me through all of this when, for the most part and comparatively, I'm a good person. I found it offensive that I, a good person, has to suffer through this (granted in a minor way compared to how many other "good" people suffer) while scum of the earth live healthy, good, lives.

Trekker, I've said this before but I want to repeat myself as a fellow person with a brain tumor.

Seek counseling. I don't mean that as a slight against you personally in any way. I had my surgery at 21 and it really messed me up emotionally in ways that I didn't even realize until years later. Being in a hospital can be traumatic. Waking up after surgery even more so. I think that it would do you good to have someone to talk about your experience for a few sessions.

Also don't look on your surgery in a negative light. Be grateful for how lucky you are to live in a time where this can be treated. 20 years ago, you might have had a death sentence or at least a much riskier surgery. Think of the span of human history, the millions of years of it and you happen to be lucky enough to be alive during the small sliver of it where your tumor could be operated on. I'm not much of a believer, but that sounds like a blessing to me.

I've never been really buddy-buddy with you, but if you ever need to talk, you can always shoot me a P.M. I'll compare scars with you.

 

[xortex]

Or as Dr. Giggles might say 'This won't hurt me a bit'. or the old joke, I wouldn't think of hurting you. I could hurt you without thinking.

 

[Trekker4747]

Talked the surgeon yesterday with the pathology/biopsy results.

The tumor is, indeed, benign. I don't recall the name of it, it was a long medically-sounding name that'd make Greg House roll his eyes and just call it something simpler.

I've three "treatment options" to go with. One simple observation, MRIs in 3 months, 6 months and in one year to monitor its growth and go from there with a plan of attack.

There were a couple radiation therapy options neither carried any real major risk or significant hospital stay.

Then there was the most radical aproach which is a more invasive surgery to remove the tumor which would carry with it the usual risks of surgery as well as possible brain damage from slicing into the brain.

My considerations right now leaning towards observing it and maybe going for the radiation treatment. The dcotor seemed reluctant to go the surgery route for such a benign tumor that currently is causing me no major troubles.

I got the staples out of my scalp yesterday too.

Sigh.

Unfortuantly, it seems that due to grand-mal siezures I had during/after the operation I'm not supposed to drive until I've been siezure-free for six months. I've presently had no siezures in a week, neither grand-mal siezures or the simple-partial siezures that kicked all of this off, even according to the surgeon the grand-mal siezures were likely caused by the surgery or anesthesia. So from the doctor's stand-point I shouldn't drive for six months. It's almost a legal issue to because if I were to have one, get in an accident, and injure myself or others I'd be in a lot of trouble with the law and insurance wouldn't cover anything.

Presently, I've decided to ignore the "no driving" advice. I've not had any siezures since the operation, I'm on medication, and the major siezures I did have were under extreme circumstances. Not driving simply isn't a practical option for me.

So, that's where I sit.

 

[T'Baio]

You know your doctor might contact the DMV and report a medical suspension of your licence. If you get pulled over with that, it's deep doo doo.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

B9. The best letter and number in medicine.

I've been reading this thread with great interest. It's been a fascinating read, and good to see you're keeping spirits up as best as you can.

But just so you know, the driving advice is there for your own and others' safety above all other things. It's a legal issue for a reason - you don't want to be the cause of the sort of dangerous driving incidents you yourself have in the past criticised others for. Ultimately it's your informed choice as they say. Just don't do anything you'll regret.

Good luck.

 

[Trekker4747]

You know your doctor might contact the DMV and report a medical suspension of your licence. If you get pulled over with that, it's deep doo doo.

The doctor said that he can't do that. If I get pulled over or in an accident and neither occured due to siezure pretty much nothing happens beyond what would normally happen.

He just said he was legally bound to tell me not to drive, but that he couldn't contact the state about it either.

 

[Kirby]

Glad to hear it's benign, but I have to agree with T'Baio and Zion about the driving. Maybe start by not driving for a month and then talk to your doctor again. Legal costs, medical costs, and possible taking someone else's life is not worth the risk.

 

[Alpha Romeo]

Presently, I've decided to ignore the "no driving" advice. I've not had any siezures since the operation

Trekker are you serious? Not only could your insurance company disclaim their duty to insure but they could deny you legal services. You'd not only be liable to anyone you hurt but criminally liable as well. Smarten up or you'll loose everything you have.

 

[Alpha Romeo]

You know your doctor might contact the DMV and report a medical suspension of your licence. If you get pulled over with that, it's deep doo doo.

The doctor said that he can't do that. If I get pulled over or in an accident and neither occured due to siezure pretty much nothing happens beyond what would normally happen.

He just said he was legally bound to tell me not to drive, but that he couldn't contact the state about it either.

And this is what happens when you listen to non-lawyers about the law. Wake up trekker.

 

[Trekker4747]

I'm going to drive only "must need to" situations: to work and occasionaly to the store. Neither require me to drive on heavily trafficed roads or highways, at high speeds, or over long distances.

It's simply not practical for me to not drive and have to rely on others to get me somewhere. Keep in mind I had the siezures while under anesthetics and after having brain surgery! I'm on medication for siezures, increased by the surgeon and I've had no siezures -of any kind- in the week since the surgery. I suspect that I'm in the clear. But I will reign in the driving, keep myself as alert as possible and will pull over if I feel and indication of a siezure "coming on." But it's not practical for me to not drive.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

Seizure or no seizure, "One killed in traffic incident caused by motorist with brain tumor" is a very attractive newspaper headline. It's not worth the risk.

Plus, can you guarantee that the medications themselves will not affect your driving?

 

[T'Baio]

Don't they have busses in Kansas?

Seriously...a doctor tells you not to drive, you don't. In Canada, doctors really do contact the Ministry of Transportation and report temporary medical suspensions. I'm surprised they can't there.

Don't put yourself at risk...but mainly, don't put others. Think of the thread you'd write if you saw a news report of a guy who had a seizure and killed a family in a mini van and it was reported his doctor told him not to drive. How would you respond to that?

 

[Trekker4747]

Don't they have busses in Kansas?

The public transportation system here is just a step or two above non-exsistant.

 

[Kestra]

Don't put yourself at risk...but mainly, don't put others

QFT. Major loss of respect for anyone who would drive in a potentially impaired state.

 

[doubleohfive]

Very glad the thing is benign, Trekker, but I must echo the sentiments of others here -- if there's an alternative to driving, I would strongly advise you look in to it. Given the high percentage of automobile accidents these days, it's almost a no-brainer.

 

[Zulu Romeo]

^^ Pun not intended, I hope.

Trekker, it sounds more like a pride issue than a practical issue you have here. Being suddenly told that you can't drive a car for an extended period of time seems like a big sucker-punch to your livelihood. It's not every day that you get a brain tumour, and a big diagnosis like that will inevitably mean big changes in how you live. But you'll find different ways to get by, I'm sure, and new ways of living your life.

You could even walk.

 

[Docbrown777]

Super news about the benign results.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Seriously, if the Doctor says don't drive for six months, don't drive for six months. Your life and the lives of others are at stake. It's not a legal technicality or a liability issue. It's Human lives.

As for the treatment, I'd want it the heck out of me, but if the Doctor recommends a more passive approach, that's what I'd do. He's the Doctor for a reason.